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All skin and no shame

...innocence is just an illusion...


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Love In The Ice [15b]
YJ01
beeswaxing
Title: Love in the Ice
Pairing: YunJae/JaeHo
Rating: R
Length: Chaptered
Genre: Non-AU, mild angst, fluff, romance
Disclaimer: I don't own anything apart from the story. I wish I had YunJae and if I had my way, they'd move to New Zealand so they can be married here.

Summary: A script for a new mini-series is left in Yunho’s apartment by his manager, and as he reads it, he becomes more and more intrigued. Unbeknownst to him, one of the leads has already been cast, and the contracts signed. When he too is cast in the project after expressing interest in the part, he gets the shock of his life when he arrives for the script reading to be faced with a person from his past. Someone that he has spent years trying to pretend never existed. How will they be able to get through filming this without killing each other? Or worse…

AN1: Do you remember the time...when we fell in love?

AN2: Oh and if you’re a new reader who has never read ICE, I really think you should because I will make a few references to it without actually spelling it out because the assumption is that everyone has read ICE and are familiar with the plot…

LITI15b

Why didn't you protect him?Collapse )

Oh heavens ... for Jae to feel that he's reduced to only his face and body just breaks my heart.

i love you so hard right now! not because joongie is still hurting, that sucks, but for bringing attention to the fact that he's a freaking man! he might be beautiful but he is still a man with the same protective instincts and drive to succeed. at the same time, he isn't impervious to insecurities and hurts. i think too often we like to cast people in binary roles of 'man' and 'woman' because that's what we're used to. and that's more than just the physical attributes, but also the society roles and expectations. no one ever thinks of the 'woman' as being the dominant one in the relationship and if she is, it's perceived that the 'man' is allowing her to act in that way and can 'man up' when it's no longer fun and games. it's not a real position for the 'woman' to have because the 'man' is humoring her assertiveness.

this is especially tricky when both people in a relationship are the same gender. how do we then distinguish roles? you'd think that perception of both partners would be more equal, but the truth is we just relegate one partner to an inferior role we deem the 'woman'. this isn't meant to be misogynistic, it's just the way the world is. in truth, there is nothing wrong with being in the 'woman' role if that's what you prefer, but the difference is the choice you make and the one that society thrusts upon you. while jae might have been ok with occupying that role for a long time; he is no longer that person. to force him back into that mold is disregarding all the growth he's had as a person. things might have been happy for awhile, but it ultimately doesn't work because jae isn't just the 'woman' and he shouldn't have to be for the sake of their relationship. he needs a partnership and i think that's something yunho is starting to realize now.

i still hope that yunho can give jae hope when he is wallowing in such dark thoughts, but any change has to come from jae himself. if he doesn't get through this by his own strength, he'll always view himself as only a 'woman', even if it's not the truth.

I feel like my mind and heart and soul is a freaking mess, yet still mirroring only a fraction of what Jaejoong is feeling.
Just. So much that's broken. Yet I still need to believe that eventually they will work through their issues and be together and happy and all that. Gah. I feel like such a mess. And on that note I shall go to bed and dream of YunJae skipping along hand in hand in a field of daisies LOL

PS. I really wonder what your mind looks like with all your different Jaejoong's from various fics and how that translates to the crossovers and all that. It must be fascinating!

There are still so many unresolved issues...but I'm glad that Yun and Jae are working through them now :) Hopefully the five of them will get to talk too...they really need it. Thanks for the update! Can't wait for the next chapter~

Both of them need some saving... And Changmin, Junsu, Yoochun now need some saving or salvation more than ever...

P.S. I liked that you used real qoutes from interviews and such when describing memories

Edited at 2014-05-06 05:36 pm (UTC)

;_; this is too stressful to read. I have had such a heavy heart the entire time of reading. It's just too complicated...how the mind works is so fucking complicated.

Seriously there is no one to blame here. Each one have done accordingly to the way he is. Each has his own reasons. But I just hope everything will be ok in the end. If it's not, it's not the end. Right?

Thankyou for the beautiful update Nikki...
You open my eyes bout how to look to JJ...,and part of me exactly like what you describe in there,looking jaejoong like some kind of Pretty,Motherly and feminin creature...
After reading this,I've realize that my idol is a true Man too...But,its just too difficult not to think JJ like that because you know,every gesture whether in pic or vid give me shame coz he has more grace in him than me,the actual girl...(sigh)

Anyway,hopefully there will be some connecting dots in the future (evil smirk)...

You voiced out some thoughts that have come across my mind. How does Jae feel having to be a sex fantasy in order to have a career? He has especially been womanised from the start and maybe only now is starting to shed part of that image.

I hope that when Yunho gets to the bathtub he will cuddle with Jaejoong and also honestly talk with him about things he didn't say or show to anyone else, things that hurt & bothered him... I don't want them to go back to 'fucking' thru things instead of talking... it wouldn't do them any good right now...
 photo tumblr_mgjlhxAqJZ1rs2yzgo1_500.gif

They need its other
Changminie its unfair to accuse yoosu
It was everyones and noones fault.
I want all of them together....They will be...They have to
Thank u so much for updating
Its a must after my work
^o^

to be so dependent on one person to be your anchor... I can only imagine the repercussions on my very being
as much as I am in awe of their synchronicity and love for each other, it doesn't bode well for anyone if they break again.. whether by each other's own doing or some external factor
what is mild angst D:
awesome update
thanks as always and I look forward to them patching things up :'D

I watched part of Ep. 1 of Triangle last night until I realized it wasn't completely subbed and I'd wait till it was. As I read this chapter I kept flashing back to the images of Jae in the drama -- shirtless, sitting naked but for boxers on the bed getting money from a woman, running through the streets topless, and then thinking further back to half-naked selcas for his fans, and mostly shirtless concert performances even in cold weather, and wondering if he feels he must do that for us, and if it pains him. I am wondering if I should feel guilty as well for being the pleased and amused recipient of his favors, but I would tell him that I don't really need that from him, just his marvelous voice and beautiful singing, his amazing creativity he shares with the world in songs, designing, style. These are what make him special to me, and yes, I love looking at his beautiful self, but he doesn't need to show me anything.

I love this fic. You are a tremendous writer. This feels so real. Thank you!

it really hit home when I read the jyj drift part. cos seriously, that's exactly how I feel too n I could write an essay on it.
about the part about jaejoong's dialogues about how he is treated like a girl, I think the same actually XD
so those parts were like a personal jab to my pov XD
I loved chapter 15 all in all. satisfying with many pinches of salt n pepper XD

Ah!!!! I love you!!!! More LITI for me!!!! (Dancing with the tablet...) First, I've always seen Jae as a man. Second, wow!!! Third, it doesn't matter if its male or female, if you are pretty, you are subject to being sexualized and abused... Fourth, gah!! I can imagine the tub scene that will leave them breathless and hard, but because of unresolved issues, connecting the dots is going to wait. And because they're unsettled, Changmin is going to breakdown the door, kiss Jaejoong on the mouth and tell him he loves him. But only as a brother. And stop punishing himself for surviving long enough to reach the top. He and his other hyung will be there more now, for him. No matter where life takes them all... They will take care of each other.