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All skin and no shame

...innocence is just an illusion...

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Love In The Ice [15c]
Title: Love in the Ice
Pairing: YunJae/JaeHo
Rating: R
Length: Chaptered
Genre: Non-AU, mild angst, fluff, romance
Disclaimer: I don't own anything apart from the story. I wish I had YunJae and if I had my way, they'd move to New Zealand so they can be married here.

Summary: A script for a new mini-series is left in Yunho’s apartment by his manager, and as he reads it, he becomes more and more intrigued. Unbeknownst to him, one of the leads has already been cast, and the contracts signed. When he too is cast in the project after expressing interest in the part, he gets the shock of his life when he arrives for the script reading to be faced with a person from his past. Someone that he has spent years trying to pretend never existed. How will they be able to get through filming this without killing each other? Or worse…

AN1: I try to run, but I don’t want to ever leave…

AN2: Oh and if you’re a new reader who has never read ICE, I really think you should because I will make a few references to it without actually spelling it out because the assumption is that everyone has read ICE and are familiar with the plot…


Five men are sitting in silence, nursing a hot beverage each.

Several teapots sit on the table in front of them, filled with an assortment of drinks that include hot chocolate, chamomile and green tea. The room service delivery had been taken by Yoochun, wearing sunglasses and a mask with the rest of the men out of sight and if the butler had anything to say about that, he kept it to himself.

Changmin is on his third cup of cocoa but try as he might, the warm liquid doesn’t take away the coldness in his belly.

“How do we protect them?”

Four heads lift to stare at the man who’d just spoken.

Joong Ki stares at his empty teacup, ignoring the looks sent his way as he starts to rub his finger around the rim of his cup, finding the quiet squeaking soothing.

That’s the only sound at the large dining table for over a minute.

Junsu casts his eyes down to follow the movement the oldest man is making, unconsciously mimicking it with his own cup.

Soon, another squeaky cup joins in.

Then a second.

And last but not least, Changmin too adds to the questionable melody his hyungs are trying to create.

Junsu starts to hum, picking up on a tune only he can make out from the piping cups.

It morphs, turning into something recognizable to Changmin who joins in.

Joong Ki and Ah In lick their fingertips, continuing to make their cups squeak, for truly, it’s the least they can do as Yoochun starts to drum his fingers on the table top in tune with Junsu and Changmin as if it’s the most natural thing in the world.

United even in this, the five men have subconsciously picked on a song, an English song no less. It had been played several times during filming, piped through the loudspeakers of the arena, and Yoochun had joked about how inappropriate the song was for what they were shooting.

But he doesn’t think that anymore.

The melody is slower than the tempo of the original song which was already slow to begin with.

”On the first page of their story…the future seemed so bright…”

Changmin’s voice cracks in the low register he’s chosen, but the aching, broken, almost haunting sound of his voice seems appropriate somehow as each word is sung with a deliberation that weighs heavy in the air. Everyone notices the ad-lib, but nobody comments as he continues.

”And this thing turned out so evil…I don’t know why we’re still surprised…”

He pauses this time, closing his eyes as his finger falters around his cup.

The youngest takes a deep breath, voice stronger and clearer this time, and filled with a thread of pain as he recalls his hyung’s words from earlier.

”Even angels have their wicked schemes…and he takes that to new extremes…”

The higher register he is accustomed to, with nary a waver in his voice that shows the pureness of his vocals washes over his hyungs, and all four close their eyes.

Changmin’s eyes open though in contrast to the older men at the table, and he drops his tone once again, purposefully.

More spoken word than singing now, the conviction in his voice resounds.

”But he’ll always be our Hero…even though he’s lost his mind…”

Yunho doesn’t look away as Jaejoong straightens back up, but he moves.

He tugs at the nape of his tee shirt, pulling it over his head along with the singlet clinging to it, dropping both items of clothing to the floor.

Topless now, he moves towards the sunken bath where Jaejoong is already standing in.

But he makes no move to take off his pants as he lifts a foot to enter the tub.

“Are you afraid I’m going to jump your bones? Or bone?” Jaejoong cackles at the joke, swaying on his feet as his eyes fill with tears once again.

Two strong hands catch him by the shoulder, Yunho still outside the tub as he steadies the lead singer, shaking him gently.

“Jaejoong, please,” his voice is soft, heartbreak evident in his plea. “This is not you. I don’t know what happened at the shoot today, and I can’t un-do what has happened, but it won’t happen again.”

“Are you promising things again, leadershii?” Jaejoong asks, voice faintly amused despite his tears. “Don’t make promises you cannot deliver on. Stop protecting me. I have to learn to protect myself. I have to learn to function without you.”

His voice wavers at that last sentence enough that it gives the other man hope.

Yunho squeezes the man’s bare shoulders.

A silent but you don’t have to learn that hangs between them.

Silent, because the leader knows he cannot say it. He has to atone for the past that brought them here in the first place. Words are cheap. Jaejoong needs action. He hasn’t forgotten the older man’s impassioned plea from just the previous night.

“Don’t say you love me more than I can imagine. Show me you love me. Don’t just say it. I’m so tired of people telling me one thing and doing another. I don’t want to imagine that you love me because I’ve spent years doing that. Years, Yunho. Do you understand? I spent three years imagining you still loved me. Hating myself for wanting you to still love me, and yet, the mere idea of you not loving me would break me in an instant. My entire album is a love song to you. I can barely write anything that doesn’t have something to do with you. I feel every word, and it used to be cathartic, but then when I sing it on stage, it fucking hurts. It hurts because I wanted so desperately to know that you still loved me the way I still loved you, even though I hated myself so much for it. I hated myself. I hated myself, Yunho. I hated myself.”

The memory causes him to squeeze too tight, and when he lets go, there are more marks on the pale lead singer.

Jaejoong glances down at himself, as the tears spill out obscuring his view as he rubs at a mark near his hip. “What’s one more mark?” He whispers. “What’s one more mark for the Whore of Itaewon?”

“Stop it. Just stop it.” Yunho grits out, his voice gruff as his chest is so heavy he can barely get the words out. He cups Jaejoong’s cheek as gently as he can with one hand, thumbing away at the tears while the other tugs at his own pants. He feels the older man resist, but he keeps thumbing away at the tears that don’t seem to have an end. “Please, Jaejoong,” he begs, whispering the words. “Please…”

Their eyes don’t leave each other’s, as Yunho finally steps into the bath with Jaejoong, his pleas hanging between them, for the leader has no idea what he wants or what to do, seeking guidance from the older man, but the singer is too lost within himself to help.

The heat is borderline painful, but he is hurting even more deep inside his soul that he barely feels the scalding touch of the hot water.

He tugs Jaejoong’s stiff body towards him, skin still cool despite the steam rising from the hot bath, and he gently coaxes the man to sink down into the water.

Pale skin turns red immediately on contact with the bath water, but neither notice.

The bath overflows as two bodies slowly displace the water within it. The tub was designed to overflow, a deep soaking bath that can be turned into a jacuzzi should the spa jets be turned on but that switch lays off.

Jaejoong looks away first, turning his body so his back is to Yunho, he settles into the bath, leaning forward, hugging his knees and dipping his face in the warm water.

He wants to inhale.

He wants to inhale the water and feel the burn in his chest because maybe that would hurt less than the burn in his heart.

He sinks lower, feeling the water closing in slowly over the back of his head and he fights.

He fights the urge to self-destruct.

The water is causing his skin to tingle and crawl.

A crackle of awareness settles low in the pit of his belly.

He can feel Yunho settling behind him, stretching out his long legs on either side of him, but the man doesn’t come any closer. It’s always been Yunho who makes him forget the touch of others, but he doesn’t want to use the man. He doesn’t want it to only be about that.

The man’s possession is really his protection, but can he return to that after surviving three years without it?

Can he deal with going back to what he used to be; safe as Yunho’s untouchable princess when he is actually a prince himself?

Is there a line they can toe without sacrificing their current selves to return to their past selves?

Look ahead.

But Jaejoong needs something else first before he even tries to take a good long look at that road ahead.

He really needs to feel clean again.

To be cleansed from that filth.

And to be whole again.

And then maybe they can begin afresh.

The leader of TVXQ watches the older man closely, counting in his head the second Jaejoong’s face hit the water.

At thirty, he is ready to intervene, when Jaejoong’s head emerges slowly from the water.

Hair soaking and dripping, the man remains silent as he straightens in the tub, pushing the sopping fringe from his face, feeling the heat in his cheeks from the water. He tilts his head back into the warmth, closing his eyes as he shakes his head to spread the tangled locks, before lifting his head out of the water once again.

Jaejoong stares at the overstuffed armchair sitting conspicuously in his line of vision, a piece of furniture out of place, yet completely appropriate in the luxurious bathroom. He can practically feel Yunho’s eyes boring into the back of his skull and his mouth tugs up slightly at the thought.

Those thirty seconds in the water had given him enough focus.

And enough awareness to know he doesn’t want to self-destruct.

“There’s soap on the ledge if you can reach it. Can you help me, please?”

The request seems so ordinary in light of everything that’s happened, but Yunho latches onto it like a lifeline.

He lifts himself out of the water, and the cool air in the bathroom hitting his overheated body sends a slew of goosebumps racing across his skin. His nipples pucker and tighten painfully to the temperature change but he ignores it as he reaches out for the aforementioned soap.

There’s a whole assortment of colorful tubes, and he naturally picks the green as he settles back slowly into the tub, sloshing water over the side as he does. He reaches out to turn the tap on once again, wanting the overflow, before he settles back against wall of the tub.

Jaejoong is practically at the other end of the tub, but Yunho doesn’t want to rush anything. The heat from the water is heady and the quiet is restful after the emotionally charged episode

The Molton Brown shower wash calms his mind the instant he pops the lid. Bright, lemony and minty with a hint of green that calms the brightness and makes it soothing, Yunho pours a palmful out into his hand.

He warms the shower gel in his hands, lathering it up before he leans forward, stretching out to touch his palms to the back of Jaejoong’s neck.

The man doesn’t move, head still bent, he doesn’t flinch at the touch and Yunho continues his ministrations even though he knows that Jaejoong hasn’t specifically asked for this.

However there are still some things he can remember, and the memory of a time gone by brings a very small smile to his lips instead of a furrow to his brow and he continues to wash the older man gently down his back, his touch impersonal, but loving.

This goes on for a few minutes.

Large hands sweeping at thin shoulders.

Moulding down the back over sharp wing bones.

And down further over the ridges of ribs that can be felt with a harder touch.

But Yunho keeps his touches light, and sweet, palms skimming over wet skin and never heavy.

Never intrusive or obnoxious, he infuses his care and concern for the older man into his cleansing caresses.

The touches never ever veer into intimate.

Not even for a second.

Yunho is squeezing more gel into his palm, as thoughts whirl in his mind, trying to find the right way to express them somehow, when Jaejoong finally lifts his head.

The slimmer man drops his arms into the water, his palms finding purchase on the floor of the tub as he scoots backwards.

On the first try, he sloshes water everywhere, making him hesitate at the large disturbance as the water displaces thanks to his movements, but then his hands seek and find Yunho’s knees in the water.

The leader freezes, waiting to see what the very unpredictable man will do, and his breath catches when Jaejoong’s hands move north of his knees.

Over his knee, turning his palms inward to squeeze his inner thighs, Jaejoong moves back some more till they finally touch.

Chest to back.

Jaejoong leans against Yunho, dropping the back of his head against a hollowed collar, before he tilts his head towards Yunho who tilts down.

Doe eyes meet almond eyes.

Neither are crying, but the despairing look hasn’t quite left Jaejoong’s eyes.

His fingers skim Yunho’s knees idly as he drops his gaze and starts to talk.

“Tell me what you’re thinking.”

Yunho takes a deep breath.

A breath that fills his lungs and moves Jaejoong with the inhalation as the man lays against his chest.

He bites his plush bottom lip, worrying it as he lets out a controlled exhalation through his nose designed to calm his mind.

But the heart…the heart doesn’t want to be calmed as he brings his arms around, unthinkingly, and wraps them around the man lying against him.

A hug that crosses low on Jaejoong’s slim torso as each hand finds either side of the man’s ribcage.

Normally, in this position, Yunho’s hands would be much higher, flicking Jaejoong’s responsive nipples with his thumbs, listening to the man moan his appreciation and wiggle his lower back against his hardened cock.

Not this time.

This time he simply holds the older man close as he drops his chin to nuzzle against the side of a wet head, kissing away the droplets clinging to Jaejoong’s hair and temple. His cock has stirred of course, because his body has never ever been indifferent to the beautiful man, but he ignores it.

“I’ve loved you for so long, I cannot remember a time when I didn’t.” Yunho’s voice is soft, almost a whisper caressing the sensitive skin of a sharply defined cheekbone.

Heat blooms across that cheek, traveling down his skin, as if in a race to see how much color it can raise in seconds.

“Even when I hated you, I couldn’t stop loving you. I won’t lie to you, because you know I tried. I need to apologize though.”

“Don’t. I’m done with apologies,” Jaejoong chides softly as he shifts in the circle of Yunho’s arms. His movement dislodges the man’s arms but he is quick to pull them back against his torso. The weight of Yunho’s hands on him is comforting, and familiar, and while the touch isn’t intimate the way he is used to, it feels even more so somehow and he doesn’t want to lose it. He doesn’t want to be the girl in the relationship, but even he can admit that he is more comfortable in it than any other mould anyone has tried to put him in. He stepped into it willingly, though he wasn’t really offered a choice in the matter, but he cannot do it for anyone but Yunho. “Don’t apologize for being you.”

“I’m not apologizing for what you think, Jaejoongie…” Yunho steals another kiss as the beauty harrumphs and he smiles, though it doesn’t reach his eyes as the words in his mind come out of his mouth.

“I want to apologize for disregarding you and your reasons for leaving. I want to apologize for not seeing past my own hurt and ignoring yours. I know why you did it. Not just for Yoochun, and Junsu. You sacrificed yourself for all of us.”

“I’m no martyr, Yunho. Don’t make it sound better than it was.”

“I don’t mean it that way. I’ve lived with the cost of your choice, and I know I had it easier than you did. People called me a coward and a traitor, but I can bear that because I know the truth. And I was too busy being angry at you to care about what anyone else thought. A faceless netizen on the internet means nothing and I chose to take their criticisms and work on them to better myself. Their disparaging remarks gave me life and the will to prove them wrong, as my heart struggled to recover from you leaving. I had to be a better leader, Jaejoong, and you leaving forced me to the lowest of low that needed everything I had to claw myself back out of that hole.”

Jaejoong had flinched at the words coward and traitor, having seen it thrown around so much in that first year that he truly struggled to not go on a rampage on twitter. His hands were tied, as was his voice. They had avenues and he couldn’t sacrifice even more to vocalise his anger at his leader being vilified by his very own so-called “fans”.

Struggling to contain the bubbling anger those memories have called up, he closes his eyes and sinks farther against Yunho, willing his mind to focus on their talk at hand. They’re talking about when he left, why he left. He can focus.

“That life was suffocating us all and you the most, as the leader. I couldn’t take it anymore. I could have stayed, but then the split would have been academic and mean nothing because there was nothing but brotherhood tying Yoochun and Junsu back to the three of us and they would never have survived. I believed it was either all of us, or nothing.”

“And you still left.”

Jaejoong makes a soft sound, a cross between a chuckle and a stifled sob. “I still left, because there was no choice. Nothing would have improved had I stayed. Nothing would have changed. You and I were the closest thing to royalty that the industry had ever seen back then. Even the homophobic were largely silent in the face of our legions of fans. I almost wonder at times if this wasn’t for the better. If all five of us had left, all five of us would be struggling. Blacklisted and unable to perform on music shows. Being thwarted by industry insiders right and left, it would have been a struggle. We had our fans, but there would be no flag standard. Out of sight, out of mind, Yunho. If five of us had left, there would be no flag.”

“And we were that flag.”

“Not us. The idea of us. YunJae bound both sides. It was the flag that kept the hope of those who still cared. You and Changmin kept us in the limelight, and no matter what I did, it wouldn’t compare to what you did for us just by being the very leader I knew you could be. I was angry with you for not listening to me, and not believing me when I told you I had to go, but that never ever shook the pride I felt when I saw what you achieved as two. Everyone thinks talking about you is taboo to me, and it is because no one has the right to speak about you to me. What happened between us is for us alone to resolve and no one else, but I followed you. How could I not? This is why you cannot martyr me, Yunho. I may have made the situation better for you and anyone else who would join the industry with the amendment of the slave contracts, but you made it possible for all of us to survive. Had you fallen, there would be no Dong Bang Shin Ki. There would be no me, no Yoochun, no Junsu and no Changmin. It would all be a memory without hope.”

“The flag made it possible,” Yunho voice is quiet as he contemplates Jaejoong’s words. He’d always wondered if he’d failed somehow as a leader. That little seed of doubt within him that germinated into a monster as he wondered if Jaejoong left because he wasn’t good enough. That he wasn’t strong enough to keep them together, and that the man didn’t trust that he would find a way to make things better. To make it right. “The flag gave it hope.”

“No. The flag is secondary, for without you coming back with Changmin as two, there would be nothing to carry a flag for. Don’t sell yourself short, leadershii,” Jaejoong mouth twists slightly at the word, giving it a smile that can be heard as he speaks. “And while I’m in inherent danger of sounding like Jaejoongie from 2008 or 2009, you have to hear it from Jaejoongie in 2013.”

He pauses a little dramatically as Yunho’s arms tighten around him. He closes his eyes and snuggles back in the man’s embrace. Who was he kidding? He wants to be the beloved of U-Know Yunho. He just needs to figure out how to toe that line between allowing Yunho to subsume him again or existing separately altogether. There has to be some sort of venn diagram that they can compromise on. There has to be a workable solution.

Jaejoong trusts Yunho.

For this moment, he’ll be the circle that loves this strong leader unconditionally.

“You are a prince among men, Jung Yunho. Don’t you ever let anyone, not even me, make you believe otherwise.”

“Should we check on them?”

Five bodies are strewn across the various sofas, seats and even the thick carpet in the expansive sitting room in the luxurious suite. Joong Ki has taken up most of the main couch, dozing off, snoring lightly as his teammates nurse cups of cold tea or bottles of soju, depending on their preference.

Changmin shakes his head at the question from Ah In as he looks up from the bottle of soju whose label he’d been carefully trying to peel off.

“Unless you want a view to remember, I’d suggest sitting this one out.”

“You really think they’re…they’re…” Junsu tapers off, blushing slightly.

“Fucking?” Yoochun answers for the younger man as he swigs the backwash of his bottle of soju, grimacing at the warmth before dropping the bottle and laying his head in the lap of the petite singer.

“Do you have to be so crude?”

Yoochun shrugs as he lifts a hand up to stroke a finger down Junsu’s bare chin. They’ve been playing lovers all day, and it’s as natural as breathing for him as he takes in the man’s pout. “Don’t hate the player, baby. Just the game.”

“Oh god, hyung. Stop it or get a room.”

Yoochun smirks upside down at Changmin who kicks Junsu’s thigh, causing the man to yelp and dislodge Yoochun from his very comfortable pillow.


Ah In shushes them all immediately as Joong Ki leans up on his elbows, staring blearily around the room at the four men staring back at him.

“Is it time to go?”

Changmin checks his watch. “It’s barely two in the morning. You can sleep for another few hours.”

“Shouldn’t you all sleep too?” The oldest man asks as he straightens, dropping his feet to the floor and sending a pitiful look Ah In’s way, silently asking for the man to come over so he can use him as his pillow.

The man complies, much to the amusement of the three singers as they watch the two friends get comfortable on the couch.

Junsu shifts, wiggling on the carpet till he is settled between Changmin’s long legs as he leans back, resting his cheek against the maknae’s inner thigh.

Changmin in turn, reaches out to scratch his hyung scalp idly. Lightly, as he stares at nothing, his mind working.

Yoochun crawls after the younger man, dropping his head once again in his lap as he lies back and contemplates the ceiling.

None of them are sleepy.

None, save Joong Ki, but even he seems to have woken up.

“You never answered my question.”

“We cannot ask you to put your necks out more than you already have,” Yoochun replies as he sits up so as to meet the eyes of his friends from his first major drama. He nudges Junsu’s thighs apart and scoots back and leans against the slimmer man, eyes darting back and forth between the serious expressions of Song Joong Ki and Yoo Ah In. “I know you’ve signed the NDA, but I think we have to protect them from within the production itself.”

“Yeah,” Junsu nods. “Like from that crazy witch of a writer,” he declares firmly, making Changmin chuckle.

“She wasn’t that bad.”

“Did you see Jaejoongie hyung when he got back or did I imagine that? I know your imagination is good but mine isn’t no matter what it seems like.”

All five men sober up instantly as they remember the scene when they returned not two hours ago, and Joong Ki finally breaks the lengthy silence.

“I agree. Not about the writer per se, but if something makes us uncomfortable, we speak up.”

“Hyung, a lot of things about this production are going to make you uncomfortable,” Ah In points out gently. “Male kissing, male love scenes, male male male everything.”

“Do you think I’m homophobic?”

The pause is a little long, and everyone drops their chins, avoiding Joong Ki’s gaze.

Ah In finally speaks as he feels his hyung sighing softly. “I don’t know about truly homophobic but I know you’ll be uncomfortable.”

“We won a couple competition, Yoo Ah In. Give me some credit.”

“Hyung…” Yoochun looks up, expression earnest, trying to explain. “This isn’t the same. It’s not even something I discuss with my family and you know how close I am with mine.”

“Me too,” Junsu replies quietly as he too looks up. He shakes his head as he too tries to make the man understand. “It’s something you will have to commit to one hundred percent. There’s no fair weather friend here. I know I haven’t been the best example, and I would be the first to tell you to go if you cannot handle it. Once you’re in, you’re in for life. You cannot choose to leave later just because production is over.”

“It sounds like I’m joining some type of secret society or something. Is there a yakuza type hazing?” Joong Ki jokes, but it falls flat in the large room as nobody laughs.

“Hyung, it’s not a joke. It’s their lives.”

Joong Ki’s expression turns solemn as he takes Ah In’s hand and pulls it into his lap, playing with it as he asks his question.

“How long have they been together?”

“You don’t get to ask that, hyung.” Changmin replies firmly as Joong Ki looks up to meet his gaze. “No offense, but as far as you’re concerned, they’re two idols being made to act like lovers, and they’re taking it very seriously.”


The youngest turns his gaze down to meet Yoochun’s. “What, hyung? You know him but I don’t. You really expect me to put Yunho hyung’s life in his hands and trust he won’t talk about it? I don’t think so.”

“Do you trust me?”

Changmin was afraid of that question. The second he’d finished his short rant, he knew he’d opened himself up to that.

The answer is very long in coming, but these men have time to kill and a lot to lose.

So they wait.


“Does that make you the princess?”

Jaejoong hums. “Considering what happened earlier, you’re either really stupid or really smart. Which is it?”

Yunho nuzzles his way down the curve of an ear, suddenly very much aware of his cock digging into the back of the man in his arms. Feeling a little lightheaded from all the hot steam, hot water, and hot and very crazy man in his arms, he licks his way back up that curve.

“Really smart,” Jaejoong exhales shakily as his body reacts even more than it already has to the younger man’s proximity. “Really, really, really smart.”

“No, really stupid.” Yunho breathes out, kissing Jaejoong’s cheek apologetically. “I can’t do this to you again.” He leans back, smiling slightly at the loud huff from the singer.

“Can’t or won’t?”


“Would it help if I told you I love you?”

“Now you’re being manipulative.”

“If the glass slipper fits,” Jaejoong remarks bluntly.


The older man shakes his head, pulling away from the embrace of the younger man and spinning around, sloshing water everywhere as he leans against the opposite end of the large tub.

“I’m sorry, that wasn’t fair.”

“You’re right, it wasn’t.” Yunho nods as he sinks into the warm water, turning the tap off as he does. The tub overflows with his movement as he tilts his head back to wet his own hair. His legs stretch out the length of the tub, and he can feel Jaejoong’s hips between his ankles. It won’t take much to slip his foot between the man’s thighs, but he resists the urge.

He even resists the urge when soft hands wrap around his ankles, rubbing and massaging up his calves gently.

He even resists when those hands lift up his feet, dropping them against the tops of slender thighs, the soles of his feet rubbing against the hard sides of the slim singer.

He squeezes his eyes shut as his body becomes rock hard. It’s been too long, and Jaejoong is being terribly unfair, but the singer’s touch isn’t predatory despite what he’s doing.

It is comforting.

Jaejoong is offering him comfort with his hands as he lifts a foot, resting the ankle against his chest and digging his thumb into the sole of Yunho’s foot.

Yunho cannot help the moan of appreciation as something in his foot is connected to the knots in the back of his neck and shoulders and the tension within them flow out of him like the water overflowing the tub.

That is, till he feels something foreign brushing against his calf.

His eyes pop wide open as he stares down the tub, eyes trying to see through the water.

But his damn leg is in the way.

He pulls his foot back, but Jaejoong has a firm grip and tugs it forward, causing his foot to press flat against his beating heart, and he feels it again against his calf.

Yunho looks up, eyes so wide, he doesn’t realize his mouth is gaping just as widely.

Jaejoong is wearing a Mona Lisa smile as he tilts his head, gazing down the length of the tub at the dumbfounded leader of TVXQ.

“Something wrong, Yunho?”

“Wh-what—“ Yunho gulps, swallowing hard, unable to complete his question as he cuts himself off.

He shakes his head resolutely, trying to get the image that has popped into his mind out of his head, but really, the more he tries, the harder it gets.


Jaejoong starts to hum as he manipulates Yunho’s foot, trying to continue rubbing the man’s foot, but the younger man is so frozen it travels all the way down his leg.

After trying for a few more seconds, Jaejoong gives up, letting go of Yunho’s foot and allowing it to slide down his body.

“Fuck,” Yunho breathes out, an uncharacteristic expletive coming from him as his foot drops too close to a very dangerous place. It’s as if a spell has been cast over him, his limbs no longer listening to his mind as they work out of their own volition, his foot sliding and pressing against Jaejoong’s belly, before going lower still.

He cannot blame gravity now, for his knee is bent and it is him continuing that inexorable move downwards.

Jaejoong’s eyes don’t leave Yunho’s face, as the man toes the length of his cock.

The leader’s stupefied expression becomes worse, and Jaejoong shakes his head in amusement.

“Really, Yunho?”

“You tell me.”

“There’s nothing to tell.”

“How did I miss that?” he asks breathlessly, voice pitched much higher than usual, and he’s just glad he’s not squeaking but it comes really close.

Jaejoong shrugs as he leans back, arching his back slightly and pushing his cock harder against Yunho’s questing foot.

It is rather telling that the foot doesn’t move away.

“We were supposed to be just friends, Yunho. You weren’t supposed to notice.”

“Were?” Yunho echoes, truly unable to stop his foot now as it slips down, nudging against Jaejoong’s soft balls before traveling back up towards his new and very interesting discovery.

The smaller man spreads his arms out, resting his elbows lightly against the edge as he tilts his head back against the rim of the tub, canting his hips forward again and pressing up against that foot that appears to be going nowhere. The sparks of pleasure shooting through him are seriously testing his willpower. The urge to moan wantonly is literally a breath away, but he suppresses it. This can go one of two ways, and judging by the whites he is almost seeing in Yunho’s eyes, he has a very strong feeling he knows where the pendulum is going.

“I don’t know many friends who sit naked in bathtubs, do you?”

Yunho makes a strangled sound in the back of his throat, foot stuttering against Jaejoong’s cock, but the man doesn’t flinch at the roughness.

“What are you saying?”

Jaejoong lifts his head, his smile no longer of the Mona Lisa family, a devilish smirk playing about his mouth instead and a very masculine gleam in his eye as he lifts a perfectly tweezed eyebrow high up. The arch is perfect, as is the husky resonance in his voice.

“Do you want to try it out, baby?”

AN: My brain melted. IT MELTED. Yes, this is the end of this chapter. Next chapter is 16 and who knows how it might start…knowing me it won’t go the way you think it will :P But who knows…i’m so hyper right now like seriously if you were talking to me right now I’d be gnawing on your ear. I wanna gnaw on body parts. Excuse me…

I felt goosebumps when Jaejoong said baby. Their love is painful but it's worth it. ;;;

Yes i DO i mean he DOES!!
Assdfhjkkfhdghshs kyaaaaaaaa sweerioudly i'm squizzing and agh! I have no words to describe it , exept for PERFECTION
Changminah u have to trust ur brothers

You tease...you terrible, terrible tease....I feel so cock blocked! Lol!! So...JJ DOES have a Hero piercing? Hmmmm....ok..so yeah..you've done it before ... But! I do hope that they get at least a weeeeee bit of sexy time to blow off some steam so to speak...and it looks like Jae has been a little bit grounded...was a little bit worried at his breakdown earlier...Yunho really is good for him....

All I know is they all need comforting right now. A foot... A hand ... Maybe more ....

Actually I wouldn't mind a baby Joongie diversion.

This whole chapter is talking about very serious matters... I'm glad you give such a mature view on guys beeing more then idols, but people, individuals.. I think every fan should give it a thought, should see in them a lot more then meet the eye... Thanx.


And on that note...
Excellent way to start my morning! ;)

Yes they finally talked some stuff through! And now I'm hoping for some sexy Jaeho time! :D

Ah!!!! You're killing me!!! Please let Yunho try... Just a lick... Just a lick before the others interrupt because of filming... Or whatever!!! Dammit, pleasurable pursuits are going to be playing over and over in my mind all day!!!!! Arrrgh!!!! Nicki, you need a spanking...

o-oh...anyways...I love all the song you put in your fics...and this one.. I didn't know it's part 2 and I've been searching for this in ages and now you made me find it!!

Can I stop crying now?
Will the next chapter be less angst and painful?

that ended on a much better note than i expected. i'm happy jae's found something to grasp on to, but i really hope they don't fall into old habits because it is very tempting to be comforted by the familiar.

I'm half ready to scream. Gosh...this entire chapter killed me. Outside the fic world, my heart already breaks into pieces at how Jae has looked over the past 3 years, let alone here where you basically put out a full blown analysis of the man. I'm at work, but I was so close to tears. Everything hurts, horribly. And then you throw that last scene and now I'm just stupified. This fic is...hazardous to my emotional stability.

“Do you want to try it out, baby?”

Yessss I do. <- Believe me I answered on behalf of Yunho. LoL omg...I feel like the black cloud is going away but who knows. Better say who knows what Nikki's muses are going to get us. *grins* I hope for the best!

I'm glad they talked and are finally getting everything out in the open (well mostly Jaejoong). So he wants to be the man? LOL an equal though I can see that. A little JaeHo ought to make things interesting^^ I wonder how Yunho will react... *smirks*

Okay I'm trying not to get all emoshinki here LOL but I agree that as hard as the split was/is, there really are a lot of good things that came out of it. Doesn't make it easier, but nothing would've changed if they had stayed.

Anyway, lovely update as usual. Right in the feels (also as usual haha!) Thanks for sharing<3