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All skin and no shame

...innocence is just an illusion...


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Love In The Ice [Retrospective Interlude]
YJ01
beeswaxing
Title: Love in the Ice
Pairing: YunJae
Rating: R
Length: Chaptered (this part is only 296 words)
Genre: Non-AU, angst, fluff, romance
Disclaimer: I don't own anything apart from the story. I wish I had YunJae and if I had my way, they'd move to New Zealand so they can be married here

Summary: A script for a new mini-series is left in Yunho’s apartment by his manager, and as he reads it, he becomes more and more intrigued. Unbeknownst to him, one of the leads has already been cast, and the contracts signed. When he too is cast in the project after expressing interest in the part, he gets the shock of his life when he arrives for the script reading to be faced with a person from his past. Someone that he has spent years trying to pretend never existed. How will they be able to get through filming this without killing each other? Or worse…

AN1: I know it seems to be all fluffy from here on out because of how I ended it last…but I found this, and remembered getting into his head at the start of Chapter 15a a very very very long time ago…and it seems timely because of the photos posted today and the JYJ Week stuff.

AN2: Oh and if you’re a new reader who has never read ICE, I really think you should because I will make a few references to it without actually spelling it out because the assumption is that everyone has read ICE and are familiar with the plot…






The longer the shoot goes, the dirtier he feels and the deadened feeling within him spreads. It starts from his toes, creeping up his body till he is fighting to stop from recoiling from every touch. Every scripted caress is a brand upon his soul, a reminder of all the men and women he allowed to touch him over the last few years.

To paw and fondle.

As he lay drunk out of his mind, wishing he were anywhere but there.

But being somewhere with people who claim to love him was always infinitely better than returning home to an empty apartment where each vacant room taunts him.

Mocking him with great empty spaces and almost sterile like quality.

He calls for alcohol.

Real alcohol.

When the shoot started, it'd been offered but Jaejoong had declined.

Two hours into it now and he knows he won't be able to survive without numbing himself.

The memories assault him.

His life is too similar to this hedonistic rock star. The only difference is that his is but an illusion. He is so fucking pathetic he can't even sustain the lifestyle for real.

Three bottles later and Jaejoong is feeling an unpleasant buzz.

Normally a reasonably happy drunk, he is too conscious of the fact that he is at work. He stares up blearily at a scantily clad girl approaching him to splay herself across his lap.

What the fuck is he doing?

The out of body experience continues.

His hands move when they should and his mouth moves when it should.

Jaejoong isn't there though.

He has fallen deep within himself, into that little pocket of safety he has. The only thing left to protect him from the world.

No one can get him here.

Not even Yunho.









AN1: Maybe a lot of people won't understand where i'm coming from because IDT many actually realize how protective I am of him. I take the tough love approach to him sometimes, because I think he needs it, but i'm just a fan, and I can only pray it will come right for him and for them somehow. A lot of my frustration and anger towards him is borne from love. If I didn't love him, I wouldn't give a flying fuck about him.

AN2: Sorry for the ramble… I'm just feeling strange. I was in the middle of two SB drabbles and when I found this, everything sort of disappeared… I have tunnel vision at the moment, and I can only see one man.


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I can't. It hurts so effin much. I can't even begin to comprehend what he must have felt like...what he still must feel sometimes. I'm so glad he's in the army and away from this whole damn mess.
As for the JYJ membership week thing, I can't even find the words to express how disappointed and angry I am with YooSu for letting it happen. I'm just...GAH. /goes to read SB drabble before imminent explosion from rage takes place/

i think i lost in this..what happened with jyj membership thing???

Umm... What happened?

what happened at the membership week?

Its so sad when we know that at some point, this was not far from reality...

I dont even know how to react anymore. 😐😐
He really do frustrates me sometimes, but well. I am also just a fan.

Omg! Are you psychic or are you really that great? I was just wondering moments ago when you'll be able to update and here you are! Homygawd! Also, I wanted to ask if there would be any new drabbles for tattooist, bc my mind kept making scenarios about what ever had happen on the day jaejoong and yun decided about have the kickass ink on his back and also the day Jae got the tattoo itself, plus if their mundane life while Jae is interning *^*

Btw: With LITI added, Im having a VERY hard time deciding which Yunho or Jaejoong I love more, the rockstar jae in ice, the momma Jae in sleeping beauty, the actor Jae or the joongie kitten. The Mafia Ho is winning tho, but somehow anyang's Capt is gaining in. This is so hard and now the Liti yun is slowly wedging its way to my kokoro like THAT. HALP ME UNNIE, I can't fit them all in my kokoro!!!

Thanks for sharing. As always emotional and just beautiful.

Just when I was in fluff mode from the last LITI update, this appears and brings my mood down. Although realistically speaking, this actually helped to smooth out the transition between Jae going for the shoot and the others finding Jae. Thanks for updating!

But you are the writer. You should try to fix this story. It hurts too damn much.
Please...

Uh... It hurts. I need to go read Ice again for the happyend right now.

Oh wow. The emotion is just too much right there.

That provided a lot of insight into how he got into the dreadful place he was in. And props to you, you accomplished that in so few words:p I know...no one likes a smart ass!

Sigh... 😖😖😖😐😢

Hi author-ssi... how are you?
it's a painful chapter.. I just want to hold him, protect him, but I couldn't.. sobs.. at last you need to let Yunho hold you Jaejoong-ah..
suddenly I miss Yunho today, miss him so bad, it's make me worried.. sigh.. I hope he will be alright, (I know he would, it's just me.. ugh), Jaejoong too of course.. 2 years..

It's a harsh existence but I'm glad that the story went the way it did. Wedding perhaps??? With a kiss instead of a hard head bump?

this leaves me wondering what exactly happened... this is a late comment though because i couldn't read it last night when you'd posted. :3

this drabble is just emotional. i have no other words except that to describe this. it's a glimpse to what jaejoong really is feeling and what his thoughts are at that very moment.

I really hope that in real life he doesn't receive this kind of treatment, or at least, not to this extent of what was described here.

Am rereading LITI from the start after you posted chapter 22 and it has taken three days to make it this far.

While I never will forget ICE and LITI, during the long interim between your last two updates I did lose sight of how intense and emotionally dense this story is for those of us deeply immersed in DBSK Canon.

I marvel anew at your grasp of the dynamics behind OT5. Never mind it's now ancient history. Some of us (myself included I guess) just can't seem to let go of this unique KPOP group dynamic. They were acapella in every true sense of the word.

Kudos, Nikki, for your wonderful writing—not just for this fic, but for all of them!

I can relate totally...And my dearest wish is that all the best happens in the "boys" life from no won...i really wish. JJ is like worm..who has wiggled its way under my skin and YunJae is (if its true ..the loveliest love story ) ever happened between males (ohh how i wish it be tue)

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