All skin and no shame

...innocence is just an illusion...


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Number One
YJ01
beeswaxing
Title: Number One
Pairing: YunJae
Rating: PG
Length: Oneshot
Genre: non-AU + non-AU military (enlistment)
Disclaimer: I don't own anything apart from the story.

Summary: Who is number one in your life?

AN1: I’m in a very non-AU mood as you can tell. I had three hours to kill and tried to write AINI, LITI, Tattooist, Trophy Wife and non-AU HoMin/OT5 in that order for the first 45mins switching every time I got stuck. I really did try very hard with non-AU HoMin/OT5 and got about 1,000 words and then a wild Jaejoong appeared (thanks to Trishy) and I gave up and just went with it. He doesn’t like sharing apparently. Not today anyway.

AN2: What is it with me and famous last words? When GFF happened I said I’d be retiring from non-AU because hey what could top reality? I haven’t been able to write anything but non-AU…and my JJ muse is smirking at me. Fucker. Wanna know which muse? Go take a long hard look at this creature in the photo that Trishy decided to drop oh so casually into our LINE chat. The end. Simple as that. He is one fucking hell of a trigger ;;












[Read this first…]

xxx

Not mandatory of course because this can stand alone, but if you're halfway through this part and have question marks, My Only Comfort might help with some of the gaps.

xxx




Yunho is eyeing the bowl of ramyun he is holding, wondering why it looks a little odd, before he realizes the vegetables he’d painstakingly chopped up are still lying on the chopping board. He’d only just returned from visiting his parents, and a few days without being in touch with anyone related to the entertainment industry is pure bliss. He sighs, wondering how on earth he’s supposed to salvage his late night snack when he hears the door.

Cocking his head, his ears are tuned towards the door, wondering if Changmin is back already. It seems a little too early, but with the younger half of TVXQ, you never know.

He hears a crash, but no expletive which is quite unlike Changmin. Brow furrowing, he places his naked bowl of ramyun down and goes to investigate.

Jaejoong leans against the door, head tilted up with his eyes closed, chewing his parched bottom lip as he works through the pain of the toe he just stubbed on the flower pot by the door. Seriously, who thought it was a good idea to put anything other than fucking shoes by the front door? The stupid flower pot must have been made of cement of something because he is pretty damn sure he broke his toe. The pain is sharp, throbbing, and he welcomes it for it distracts from the pain in his heart.

Would a broken toe be a good enough reason to get him out of the press conference for SPY?

He can hear the sharp indrawn breath of someone entering the room, and he smiles slightly at the sound, but he doesn’t open his eyes.

It hurts too much.

“What happened?” Yunho asks quietly, looking at his boyfriend’s grief-ravaged face. He wraps an arm gently around the still man’s waist, tugging and coaxing his body to lean against his instead of the door. Jaejoong’s eyes are so swollen that even shut, they are obvious. The red-rims are so raw that Yunho is afraid to touch, for fear of hurting him more. A million thoughts are running through his mind but in the forefront is the same one in bright neon lights.

Please, don’t let one of his parents have died.

“They went for the jugular this time,” Jaejoong replies, his voice a mere croak as he tries to smile, but it comes out as a grimace and a wince. His tone is resigned, as if he has no fight left, his body mirroring his voice as he sinks against Yunho’s comforting frame, tucking his face against his neck. His chuckle is watery and self-deprecating as he continues to talk. “They can’t do more damage to me than they already have, my ass.”

Yunho stiffens, frowning, he wraps both arms around Jaejoong, hugging him tightly. He remembers when Jaejoong said that almost a week ago. Surely not again?

“What have they done this time? I thought not being allowed to go to the awards was your punishment?”

“As if,” Jaejoong’s voice is thick with loathing. Straightening, he shoves Yunho away before turning and heading towards the bedroom. The sharp twinges of his toe are simply a welcome distraction as he strides purposefully through the apartment, stripping as he goes.

Yunho shakes his head, hot on the heels of his lover, but giving the man enough room. He is feeling rested and calm from his break, and he knows he’s going to need to hold on to that in order to deal with whatever it is that has made Jaejoong cry hard enough that it looks like his world has just ended. He is disengaging, keeping his worry and emotions for the older man in a box for now because if those come to play, then he won’t be able to be objective.

He enters the bedroom, to find Jaejoong already sprawled atop the covers, as naked as the day he was born. Arm flung over his swollen eyes, only the bedside lamp is on. That dim light is more than sufficient though for Yunho can see everything quite clearly still.

“Jaejoong…”

“I need you to love me.”

“I do love you.”

“No, love me please and let me forget how fucked up my life is for a few minutes.”

Yunho eyes the invitation on his bed, and he shakes his head, knowing the other can’t see him.

“No,” he replies simply.

The tears are instantaneous, the choked sob sounding like a gunshot in the silent room as Jaejoong’s dam crumbles once again. Yunho walks forward quickly, climbing onto his bed and laying alongside the painfully sobbing man, using his body to cover the nakedness of the other.

Prepared for a fight, he is unsurprised at the flying fist to his head.

Pinning Jaejoong down, he shakes his head again.

Not strong enough to fight, Jaejoong succumbs, curling into a fetal position, he allows Yunho to hug him.

Emotionally and physically exhausted after the blow up with his company, Jaejoong falls asleep sooner than expected with Yunho pushing at his sweaty fringe and kissing his forehead soothingly, easing the angry furrow away.

Running his fingers up the exposed skin of the older man, Yunho leans away slightly to watch the rise and fall of his lover’s chest. He knows it is Jaejoong’s security with him that causes half the problems, the lead singer so sure that Yunho will always catch him when he falls.

What Jaejoong fails to understand for some reason, is the fact that Yunho cannot do any catching if he’s not actually there.

It irritates Changmin to no end. It even irritates Junsu. And it especially irritates Yoochun.

Jaejoong’s sense of self-preservation dies in the face of his faith in Yunho, especially now that they have clawed their way back from the very edges of total and absolute decimation. A fall that almost lost Jaejoong not just Yunho, but both Changmin and Yoochun as well. Junsu refused to take anyone’s side then, and he still refuses to take anyone’s side now.

What has arisen from that is the fact that Jaejoong’s survival instincts are severely muted yet again. It is back to pre-2009 days when he believes Yunho will protect him at all costs, even going as far as defying his company in certain matters because he would rather be with Yunho.

Everyone knows it, and since his company cannot touch Yunho at all, it is Jaejoong who bears the brunt of it.

How the fuck the leader is supposed to protect him while apart doesn’t seem to register at all.

Jaejoong has Yunho, and that is all that matters to him.

And Yunho doesn’t correct this notion of his.

He will always be number one.





xoxx







“Can we lie here forever?”

“You know I can’t,” Yunho nuzzles the other, kissing his smooth clear skin, and making him giggle as his whiskers tease at the sensitive skin of the older man.

“Why do you always have to go?” Jaejoong sighs, as his grip tightens. He tries to burrow his body closer and deeper against the much broader man. Yunho has filled out again and he finds that he vastly prefers this version of Yunho, relishing the feel of their bare skin against each other.

“One tweet from you and I get twenty phone calls, that’s why.”

“So it’s my fault you have to go?”

Yunho shakes his head as he shifts, splaying his large hand across Jaejoong’s tiny waist and watching as man’s eyes fill with tears.

“Don’t be upset, Jaejoongie. It’s not your real birthday.”

“Real or fake, you still weren’t there,” he whispers quietly, hating himself for crying, but the tears seem so much easier these days.

“Five years, and we are still discussing this?”

“Why can’t you sneak around like you normally do?”

“Eyes will be watching me far closer this week than they do the rest of the year. You know this very well, Joongie. Please don’t bring it up when you’re not willing to sneak around either,” Yunho’s tone takes on an uncharacteristic note, extricating himself from the other man and getting out of bed. He is not actually angry with the other man, but definitely a tad annoyed.

Jaejoong sits up, eyes blazing in an instant. “Take that back!”

Yunho sighs, arms folded, gazing down at the now-irate singer. “No. I’m not taking it back, because you know it’s true.”

“I’m pretty sure they’re ready to ditch me at this stage. I can’t—“

The leader of TVXQ sits on the bed and gathers the other man in his arms, mouth pressed against Jaejoong’s, cutting him off.

The older man softens into the kiss immediately, hands roaming, deepening the kiss quickly.

Yunho pulls back first, chuckling lowly while thumbing Jaejoong’s kiss-swollen bottom lip. “You’re too easily distracted.”

The older man closes his eyes, humming to himself with a small smile about his lips. “You can distract me like this as much as you want.”

“That doesn’t actually resolve anything.”

“I don’t care.”

Yunho decides that discussion can wait for another day.

“I’ve got something for you.”

Jaejoong’s eyes pop open immediately, not complaining at all when Yunho goes further than an arms length away. He watches the boxer-clad leader unzipping his back pack and rummaging around in it for something.

Sitting up straighter, the sheets pooling about his waist, exposing his nakedness, the singer pays no mind, more interested in the upcoming gift.

“You already got me a present.”

“It’s from Jihye.”

“Oh,” Jaejoong’s mouth forming that annoyingly sensual moue he is so very known for, lips pursed perfectly, tracking Yunho’s every movement with interested eyes.

Distracted for a few seconds, Yunho snaps back to the task on hand, continuing to rummage, dutifully keeping his sister in his mind while his very lush lover waits in the middle of their bed.

He finally finds the slim, simply-wrapped package and tosses it into Jaejoong’s lap that is rather dangerously close to being exposed.

The loud coos are practically instantaneous, Jaejoong an expert at stripping gifts by now, gets into the package in double quick time.

Settling himself behind the very loudly cooing singer and hugging him, Yunho perches his chin on the other’s shoulder and looks down at the spread of…elephants on the sheets.

“What are those?”

Jaejoong hums, reading the little card accompanying the gifts and not replying, while still making tiny pleased little sounds that causes Yunho’s heart to feel lighter. He mentally makes a note to call his sister and thank her for making his boyfriend so happy.

He squeezes the older man, arms wrapping easily around his petite frame, nuzzling into the back of his neck, his smile pressed against his warm, fragrant skin.

And even that doesn’t distract nor stop the happy little sounds coming from the older man.

Yunho starts kissing.

A mole here, a tiny little love bite there, tracing a pattern with his lips against the smooth skin, lavishing attention that spans the beautiful man’s shoulders. When he settles in against the curve of his neck once again, Jaejoong finally deigns to return the attention, twisting in his arms to kiss Yunho briefly.

“Should I be jealous of my sister?” Yunho jokes, trying to chase Jaejoong’s mouth for another kiss but is thwarted by a bunch of little blue elephants in his face.

“Don’t be silly. Look what she got me!” Jaejoong waves one of the elephant packs. There are several similar packs laid out before him.

“I know you love elephants,” Yunho nuzzles again, now that he has Jaejoong in his arms, is loathe to let him go, more interested in having a final tumble before he really, really, really has to leave. “But what is truly silly is you not kissing me back when I have to leave in fifteen minutes.”

“Half an hour,” Jaejoong counters, looking up and grinning, his smile so pure and infectious that Yunho can do nothing but nod.

Utterly pleased, Jaejoong twists and pushes Yunho back, causing the larger man to fall back on the pillows. The totally naked singer straddles the younger man, his ass positioned rather conveniently on the leader’s burgeoning arousal.

Leaning over to pick up a handful of the packages of elephants, he waves them at his lover.

“Look!”

“Jaejoong-ah…” Yunho’s voice is part husky, part groan, “I’m looking, but not at those damn elephants.” As if to make his point, he runs two heavy finger along the top of the other’s still soft cock, stroking it like he would a pet, the other hand reaching up to pinch a very perky rosy nipple.

The lead singer squeaks disarmingly, wiggling cutely atop the other man, making it infinitely harder for his partner while he tries to squirm away from those naughty fingers without toppling off the man completely.

“S-stop! Wait—I’m the hyung here. Listen to me first!” He waves his elephants, trying to look stern but failing miserably.

“You sound like Changmin now,” Yunho grumbles good-naturedly. Deciding to enjoy the weight of the other on his thighs, loving the happiness in those dark eyes that not too long ago was holding hurt and sadness, Yunho wills his body to behave. He stacks his hands behind his head and tilts his chin up, eyes locking with the other. “All right, then. Tell me what those tiny little blue elephants are.”

“They’re little pasties!”

“For your nipples?”

Stunned silence for half a beat before Jaejoong bursts out laughing, his laughter explosive, and Yunho finds himself covered in packages of blue elephant pasties while his boyfriend struggles to contain his laughter with both his hands. He is laughing so hard that tears are pooling.

Brushing his sister’s gifts off himself, he waits for Jaejoong to collect himself, perfectly content where he is.

Wiping tears of mirth from his eyes, Jaejoong leans down to hug the younger man, nuzzling his nose against the other’s scratchy jaw. Still swallowing hiccuping giggles, he peppers the man with tiny affectionate kisses full of love and adoration not just for this Jung, but the rest of the Jungs.

Smiling to himself, Yunho brings up a hand, stroking it up and down the other man’s back, content to hold him close, the kisses along his jaw are tickling him and making him feel warm all at the same time.

“You’ve got such a one-track mind. People think you’re innocent and Changmin is the sex-crazed one, but really? My nipples? Would your sister give me something for my nipples?”

“Perhaps not,” he admits, chuckling when he gets a jab in the side. “Ok, ok, she definitely wouldn’t. What were they pasties for then?”

Jaejoong closes his eyes, reciting the note from memory.

“Oppa, I know it’s still a little early but I saw these and thought of you and had to get them for you immediately. I gave them to Yunho oppa when I saw him last since I’m not sure when I’ll see him again before you enlist. I tried to find red ones but they only had blue. They’re so cute, aren’t they? You can iron them on or pin them to your shirts in the army so you know which belongs to you. I don’t know how many clothes you’re allowed to have so I bought all their stock! I hope that’s enough. If it’s too much, you can share them with oppa. Please take care and come back soon. Abeoji is still talking about your spicy seafood stew and driving eomeoni crazy because she can’t replicate it. Please put her out of her misery and give her the recipe because you know she won’t ask. Love, Jihye.”

Yunho’s eyes are shut, listening to the recitation quietly, hands constantly moving to touch at what feels like an endless expanse of bare skin.

It is the drop of warmth against the hollow of his throat that startles him from his reverie, opening his eyes and leaning up immediately, forcing Jaejoong back gently and cupping his cheek. He thumbs away at the second tear, pressing a soft kiss to the other man’s mouth.

“What’s wrong, baby?”

“Nothing,” Jaejoong shakes his head, squeezing his eyes shut, willing his tears to stop. For a man who made a joke about the times a man can cry, he’s cried far more in these early weeks of 2015 than he has in a long while.

“And nothing is why you’re upset? Are you happy or sad?”

“You can’t tell?”

“I know you’re happy,” Yunho squeezes Jaejoong, leaning back down and bringing the man with him, hugging him tight. “I also know you’re sad.”

“That’s a cop out.”

“Not when it’s the truth.”

“What am I going to do? I won’t be able to talk to you.”

“You can when you’re done with your Basic Military Training.”

“That’s five weeks.”

“It’s only five weeks. It’s a drop in the ocean of our lives, Jaejoongie. What did I say to you before? You can’t focus on the bad because it will drown you. You can’t focus on the past because it will upset you. Look to the future, and look at it with bright eyes. I know you’re afraid, and so am I. There are millions of what-ifs in my head. Millions of questions and all of them will only be answered with time. Am I going to worry and worry and worry until it cripples me and I cannot function? No. I can’t do that. We can’t do that.”

“But—“

Yunho presses a hand over Jaejoong’s mouth. “Believe that you will always be number one. We cannot continue if you don’t believe this very simple fact. I know you had more than enough reasons to question it in the past. I know you probably will have reason to question it in the future, but I’m not asking about what you know or should know. I’m not even asking you to be rational or logical about this because what I’m asking would make Changmin cringe at the sheer impossibility of it and he would absolutely side with you on this. Despite all that, I’m still asking. I’m asking you to believe. I’m not asking you for anything more than this. I’m asking you to believe that you are number one, no matter what happens, no matter what anyone says, no matter what people do, no matter if I act differently or strangely for some reason. I’m asking that despite all of that, you have to believe that you are number one.”

“Even when you hang out with your friends instead of coming to see me?”

“My love is not a zero-sum game, neither is it a competition. It never was and it never will be. Just because I love seeing them, doesn’t mean I love you any less. Just because I will continue to stay with Changmin does not mean I love you any less. Just because I don’t say it explicitly in public, does not mean I love you any less. My silence is my only protection to you because I don’t know who will turn on you. I can control my actions, but I cannot control the actions or reactions of others.”

Jaejoong sniffs, elephants all but forgotten, not all caring that he is as naked as the day was born and being a blanket to slightly more modestly covered leader.

“Number one?” the question mark can be heard clearly.

“Number one,” the reply is firm, brooking absolutely no question.





xoxx





[Read this first…]

xxx

This part can totally stand alone, but if you've never read any of my non-AU military fic series, you might scratch your head a little in some parts. I've got a bad habit of referencing things from other non-AU fics.

xxx




“Hyung,” Changmin’s voice is tinged with exasperation. “It’s not you, it’s him. It’s always him. He plays with fire and fully expects you to put it out for him.”

“Keep your eyes anywhere but on him.”




Changmin’s words from the previous night keep playing over and over in his head. The first part is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Jaejoong doesn’t know how to do anything by halves so he goes all out, and this is especially relevant when it comes to Yunho.

The second part is easier to fulfill because Yunho is worried. Way too worried that the worry actually stifles the urge to turn his head to find his boyfriend who is about to come out. He can see the fans and he can see their faces. He recognizes most of them, and he knows he may have to do something. He hopes he doesn’t, but he will if he has to.

The screams start and he can’t help himself.

He looks over.

Not at the performers, but at the fans on his left. He doesn’t even want to look at Jaejoong, because if he sees anything in the shining countenance of the other man that leads him to believe that he has been hurt in any way, he will find it very difficult to stay quiet.

Very difficult.

It is a continued failing of his to this very day. Even in his final days at SM before enlistment, the staff still know better than to say anything negative about Jaejoong to his face. It is only Changmin who gets away with it, but even then, it is only because Yunho assesses it to be more bluster than bite. Regardless, Changmin tends to get away with murder anyway thanks in part to Jaejoong who scolds Yunho if the maknae so much as gets a tweaked ear for his complaints.

He glances up at the performers every now and again, the sun is shining so determinedly that he can barely see through his squint, but he looks.

Watching in silence, he copies the call of the performers.

Clap.

He cannot help it.

His eyes keep going over and over to the seats on his left.

They are not clapping.

Turning back to the performers, it takes over a decade of training and professionalism, and a great deal of thanks to the sun, that Yunho manages to keep his expression neutral.

Jaejoong having conquered the right side of the stage, complete with girls falling over in their excitement, and the centre with the VIPs, is heading over to the left.

He can see their OIC gesturing and telling presumably ordering Jaejoong not to approach. The man is close to literally standing in front of the idol soldier and barring him from continuing forward.

Clap.

Nobody is going to black ocean Jaejoong with him standing right there.

Nobody.

Jaejoong is in front of all of them by now, heedless to the OIC who has given up in disgust and is standing off to the side, Yunho watches closely, the fans waving their TVXQ and Yunho banners in Jaejoong’s smiling face as he continues to sing in front of them. He knows that the singer understands what the lack of participation means. The fans are telling him what they think, and had this been at night, no light sticks would be turned on. He can practically guarantee it.

Yunho continues to clap, and he deliberately makes eye contact with several of the fans in the stands, lifting his hands up as an example, he all but says it out loud into his microphone.

Clap.

The claps are slow to come, but eventually they do.

Begrudgingly or otherwise, it doesn’t matter. He will bear the brunt of the fallout for this, but he will not allow Jaejoong to hurt over something that he had no control over. This performance wasn’t his idea, and he should not be punished for it regardless of what the sentiments of the crowd are.

No stampede this time of course, which was probably their OIC’s concern after what happened on the opposite side, but Yunho is more worried about Jaejoong’s feelings.

Fans are practically everything to him. Sometimes the four of them half joke that out of all of them, it is Jaejoong who lives for their fans. Emotional and sensitive, he takes it personally when someone dislikes him.

More times than he remembers, especially since the official split, that Yunho has held a crying Jaejoong crippled by indecision about what to do with his Jaeharem fans, and the fact that they hate the very air that Yunho breathes. Not wanting to lose either his fans or his boyfriend, Jaejoong cannot address their madness directly, and it pains him. Their madness feeds his insecurities though, with Yunho feeling that the singer is sometimes held to ransom by the very fans who claim to love him.

They are all held to ransom by their fans at some point due to what they do and who they are, but with Jaejoong, everything seems to multiply exponentially.

The performance seems to take forever, those few minutes one of the longest in Yunho’s life since entering the army and that is saying a hell of a lot because not even standing in the driving rain with a log held above his head for ten minutes with the rest of his platoon has time moved so painfully slowly.

When it finally ends, his smile is inadvertent, for he saw the genuine happiness in Jaejoong’s eyes, and he is relieved.

If this is the ultimate test of their relationship so far, maybe the older man finally believes it.

He is number one.



Yunho lays back on the pallet on the floor, staring at the ceiling with the phone pressed to his ear. He had the first shower and is enjoying his solitary presence in the shared room before more bodies arrive.

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying he basically told his crazy ass fans to go to the main stage and support you.”

“Why would he do that?”

Changmin makes a very loud scoffing sound. “Are you really asking me this?”

“I don’t understand.”

“You don’t want to understand. Hell, I think you probably cannot understand. He has finally come to his senses and told his fans to fuck off.”

“I really don’t think—“

“That’s the problem!” comes the exasperated reply. “You are not thinking. That’s why you need me. I can do the thinking for both of us.”

“I need you for more than that, and you know it.”

“Mush. Save the mush for him,” Changmin shudders, thankful they are on the phone for his hyung doesn’t need to see the tinge of red in his cheeks and ears that will betray his pleasure at the leader’s words. Once a hyung pabo, always a hyung pabo.

“Changdola, I really have no idea how you came to the conclusion that he told his fans to fuck off by telling them to go to the main stage.”

“He’s right,” Jaejoong enters, hearing Yunho’s impassioned confusion. He cocks his head, drying whatever hair he has, realizing partway that he doesn’t actually need to tilt his head due to the lack of hair, before tossing his towel on Sangwoo’s bed in disgust.

Settling down next to Yunho on their bed on the floor, he holds his hand out for the phone.

Yunho meets his eyes. “Changminnie, he wants to speak to you.”

“I don’t want to speak to him.”

“He doesn’t want to speak to you.”

“I heard,” Jaejoong’s smile is rueful. “He’s not exactly quiet.”

“I heard that!”

“I heard that too!”

“Hanging up now! Love you!”

Yunho hurriedly ends the call and drops the phone.

Jaejoong is laughing, the back of his daintily covering his mouth, the other hand squeezing Yunho’s knee. “You’ve raised a monster.”

“I raised a monster? Who’s the one who never lets me scold him for anything?”

The singer waives an airy hand before crawling onto their pallet and laying down next to Yunho on his pillow.

“Your hair is wet.”

“What hair?”

“Ok, you’re too close.”

“No one’s going to come in.”

“What if someone does?”

Jaejoong sighs dramatically, scooting over to lay his head on his own pillow. “Happy now?”

“Yes.”

“You hugged me.”

It is Yunho’s turn to sigh dramatically, twisting to lay on his side, he props his head up with his hand as he gazes down at the other man. “Yes, I did. You’ve talked about it at length but we need to talk about your fans now. Did Changmin speak the truth?”

“When has he ever not?”

“I’m not questioning his truthfulness. He is interpreting something. I want you to tell me if his interpretation is correct.”

“What if it is?”

“No games, Joongie,” Yunho’s voice is quiet. Serious.

Resisting the urge to lift a hand to stroke that stern, handsome face, Jaejoong does the next best thing.

He blows the man a kiss.

Warm minty fresh breath with a hint of tea leaves.

Yunho closes his eyes and inhales deeply, calming his racing heart that had gone from zero to sixty with that alone.

“Did that answer your question?”

“Yes,” Yunho replies, opening his eyes to gaze into the depth of dark doe eyes filled with love staring back up at him. A love he couldn’t hide today. He blows him a kiss back, a gentle, slow and steady stream of air that he knows will caress Jaejoong’s face.

The slow and sensual expression that stretches across Jaejoong’s face has to be seen to be believed. The moment is more intimate than many people’s idea of intimate, but that is the beauty of their relationship.

Anyone who sees the way Jaejoong acts around Yunho will realize it, no matter how Yunho acts in return.

Even when he doesn’t.

Jaejoong is a bright light in the leader’s presence, basking in being close to him, even if it doesn’t seem close enough for some. For them, it is plenty.

To be out in the open like that.

His heart almost burst with happiness that day.

He only had one thing on his mind, and that was making his Yunho proud of him.

Yunho searches the other’s eyes and he doesn’t see any falter within them. No insecurity, no hurt, no fear.

So much love though, that he just wants to drown in his liquid doe eyes, bottomless in their love for him.

“You weren’t upset?” he finally asks, unable to keep it in. It’s been bothering him for a while, and with the other two out of the room, he is finally able to speak to Jaejoong alone.

“Upset about what, baby?” Their proximity has intoxicated Jaejoong, Yunho’s kiss made him want more, but he knows they cannot have anything physical right then so he will be content with what they can get. It’s only their second night, and he still has at least four more to go. He doesn’t need to get greedy so early on.

Loathe to ruin the mood, but he really needs to know, otherwise it will keep eating at him. “The fans.”

“What about them?”

“They…” Yunho stops, looking away, unable to continue. Maybe Jaejoong didn’t notice. If he didn’t, why should he upset the man?

“I saw,” Jaejoong’s voice is quiet, before he blows one more soft, sweet kiss towards the younger man, bringing worried almond eyes back to his face. “They love you. What more can I ask for?”

“You’re—“

“I’m ok,” Jaejoong smiles, and in his smile he tells the man that he is more than ok. “I love them for trusting in your love for them and loving you enough to be confident in showing you what they thought, and respecting you enough to listen to you regardless of what they felt for me. How can I not love your fans when they love you so very much?”

Yunho inhales deeply, closing his eyes, squeezing them in fact, unable to speak.

What can he say? Jaejoong has many failings, but his heart is always right.

“If I thought I couldn’t love you any more…”

Jaejoong reaches up, cupping the other’s face gently, stroking at the man’s cheek with his thumb.

“Yunho-yah, you do know the number one thing goes both ways, right?”











AN: Ok…deep breaths…I’m so painfully anti people today. I don’t know what’s wrong but I’m anti human. I just want to disappear with a book but I can’t because adult and all with responsibilities. Lulu (@Yoonhoshinki on twitter) did make me realize I’m not anti-Yunho though lmao! I wonder what my husband would think of that hmmm…


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Oh wow...these two :') I loved it!

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You're making it very hard for me to study hahahaha but nonetheless, i love this! Please don't stop writing non aus, you write them beautifully <3 thank you for writing this one!

Aww, this is so sweet! Love it<333


i was re-reading onib when i saw u had posted something
ooh.. they're so so special together. i love the way you write seriously, u make them so real. teary eyed jae makes me sad :(

I am loving your recent non-au phase! Keep it coming :P

I feel like I'm drowning in their overwhelming love for each other in this fic. And it felt amazing. It brought me almost to tears cause I really do believe that YunJae have one of those once in a millennium true loves.

Liked how Yunho said his love isn't a zero-sum thing cause I just learnt about zero-sum approach in a uni class last week hahaha and now I will always remember what it means thanks to YunJae (and you) :')

Great long piece!

I feel like both of them have gone more mature mentally, well at least in your fics. LoL I haven't had a chance to watch full fancam of the frist day performance. Were Yunho's fans literally silent? I'll go check it out.

And the elephant pasties are super cute!!!

P.S. Please continue this I'm dying to know how Jaejoong got allergic to Yunho's cum kekeke XD

Some of Yunho's fans were not only silent, they held their banners in front of their faces and looked only at Yunho, ignoring Jaejoong in front of them. I applaud Jae's courage to sing in front of so many haters. He never lost his smile.

he did really great and looked so happy, my baby <3 so strong T^T

These two make my heart beat faster than usual love them , thanks for writing and sharing😘😘😘

Waaah~ I so love it~ my babies~ I so love your works and how it is done~ <3

Your non-au military fics are giving me so much feels. Keep them coming please. Don't stop writing them T_T

Loooooooove this, military fics aaah~~ they're so awesome
to think how much they have to hide sometimes for the sake of their fans (biased ones)
Thanks for writing this!

omfg my yunjae feelsssssssssssssss TT____TT
As someone who was there when Jae performed right in front of Yunho and someone who witnessed the encounter of Yunjae and Jung's parents, reading this oneshot just gave me extra feels...because it was like looking into that other side of the story we can/could not see.
*sigh* their relationship is so special and beautiful yet so painful...I just do hope if they still love each other, one day not long ago, they'll be able to be together again, if is not that they already are :P /ships too much not to be delulu sometimes/

OH MY GAWD!! MY FEEEELS!! WOMAN MY FREAKING FEELS ARE ALL OVER THE PLACE COZ OF THIS!! /WAILS/ MY HEART IS HURTING WITH HOW DEEP IS THEIR LOVE AND HOW HARD THEY HAVE IT (T_T)

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