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...innocence is just an illusion...


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More Than Words [1/1]
HM3
beeswaxing
Title: More Than Words
Pairing: HoMin
Rating: PG
Length: One-shot
Genre: non-AU
Disclaimer: I don't own anything apart from the story.

Summary: From sharing values to sharing rooms to sharing their very existence till many people who know them cannot think of one without the other - they have done it all for almost half their lifetimes, that it leads to something they no longer need to share.

AN: This actually started off as a solo drabble, but it turned into a few drabbles wrapped up in one post. I wonder if anyone can figure out which was the original drabble :)










They swap positions, Yunho relinquishing his seat in front of the iMac where he had been monitoring the shots taken for Changmin’s poolside shoot. The clasp hands briefly as they go past each other, Changmin cracking his neck as he walks past, causing Yunho’s brow to furrow at the sound, but his steps continue without faltering, heading towards the water.

Changmin’s jeans are hanging dangerously low, waterlogged from the pool, the faint outline of his V-cut compelling more than one head to turn his way, both male and female alike. He quietly asks for permission to sit in the chair Yunho has just vacated, checking that it is okay for him to sit, dripping chlorinated water and all.

A splash followed by surprised laughter from the pool redirect everyone’s attention to the handsome man standing fully clothed in the water and shaking his head at the shoot director.

“You could’ve just asked,” he chides, laughter lurking in eyes that are not mirrored in his partner’s whose hot eyes are on the director’s back, a laser-like focus that would have caused holes to appear in the man if he was Superman. It is rather fortunate that no one is looking Changmin’s way just then because his expression is wholly unfriendly, quite possibly bordering on murderous. The only thing saving the man’s hide is the fact that Yunho appears uninjured and rather amused.

“The coordi was too close,” the man replies, using his chin to indicate the distraught coordi noona standing by the edge of the pool, who also happens to be his wife, wringing her hands agitatedly at the hundreds of dollars worth of clothes now probably destroyed beyond redemption. Yunho’s concept was never meant to include being in the pool itself, but since the shoot director has creative and artistic license, whatever he says goes.

Or in this case, whatever he does.

Yunho is still smiling, not minding at all for the sun is hot and the water refreshing. He feels the hair on the back of his neck prickling, and he turns to look past everyone, knowing where the feeling is from.

Changmin is stone-faced behind the computer monitor.

The leader tilts his head slightly, acknowledging that he knows he is being watched, and then he smiles.

A different type of smile.

A smile meant to ease.

He lifts his arms up over his head, stretching luxuriously to work out the kinks in his back from falling awkwardly into the pool after being hip-checked, but his eyes never leave his partner’s face.

Slowly but surely, Changmin’s features soften, till he is shaking his head ruefully, settling back in the chair to enjoy the rest of the shoot.



The large couch in the corner that had caught Changmin’s eye while he was in the pool earlier has finally been vacated by the makeup and wardrobe noonas who had been having some sort of pow wow on it for a good hour and then some. Waving at one of the girls, he asks her about the couch, and she affirms his assumption that the couch is an all weather one and will not be harmed by his still damp jeans.

Finding his first smile that afternoon that has nothing to do with a human being, Changmin jogs over to claim the couch for his own, situating himself dead centre in the middle of the very expansive couch that easily fit five females. He wants some time alone to himself, and makes sure his body language does not invite interruption as he slides low on the comfortable sofa, eyes closed to bask in the warmth of the sunlight filtering through the increasingly cloudy sky.

Yunho is conferring with the shoot director to confirm the rest of the afternoon’s schedule when he sees a flash of a bare body going past him out of the corner of his eyes. Distracted briefly, but long enough for the director to end the conversation, the leader finds himself walking towards the couch.

Changmin senses the shadow over him, blocking the wonderful sun, and he inhales deeply to let out a long suffering sigh. Not even bothering to open his eyes, he moves over, lips quirking when he feels the depression in the seat as someone settles down next to him. Tilting his head back and sliding low on the couch again as he was previously, his abdominal muscles twitch inadvertently when a head lays rather proprietarily against them.

His first instinct is to push the man off because he wants the sun on his flat belly and not a heavy, damp head.

However his hand has a mind of its own, his fingers dragging lightly, scratching absentmindedly through the wet locks, lips tugging into a semblance of a smile as Yunho lets out a throaty sound of appreciation.

Their peace lasts a good ten minutes before the sound of a shutter causes his head to tilt forward, his hand automatically moving away.

“No, no, stay. Both of you look amazing. Yunho-ssi, can you look a little more friendly though?”

Changmin’s mild amusement shows on his face because he knows why Yunho is likely looking anything less than friendly. His hyung tries to comply, but his body language is a little stiff one fist clenched loosely while Changmin remains relaxed and at ease. It does not really matter to him, because he knows his hyung is there.


~~~



Yunho is like a little kid rolling around on the carpet as they attempt to play chess. They are surrounded by bright lights and people talking, the room anything but intimate.

Changmin has given up trying to have a proper game, and they are merely moving pieces randomly on the board, Yunho lying on his belly, legs kicking up lazily into the air behind him just like a young child. He is cradling his cheek in his hand still, propping up his head with the help of his hand, and Changmin knows the headache he had earlier is probably still lingering.

Forgetting, or perhaps not really caring about the audience they have been hanging out with for practically three full days in a row, Changmin tugs lightly at Yunho’s wrist, while scooting forward a little.

Their eyes lock, and Changmin nods imperceptibly.

Yunho immediately rolls over a final time, head squarely on Changmin’s thigh as he lays on his back and closes his eyes.

Changmin continues to move the chess pieces as if nothing is different, buying his hyung a few minutes of rest.


~~~



“Get out! All of you get out now!”

A hand squeezes him just over the knee, and Changmin takes a deep shuddering breath, quelling the urge to scream louder as everyone moves far too fucking slowly for his liking. He tempers his words, but his furious expression does not change.

“The sooner you leave, the sooner I can take care of him. Switch up the set list and do the dancers and band intro now.”

The door shuts soon after, chased out more so by Changmin’s murderous gaze rather than anything else, and the second it clicks, the sound of someone retching echoes around the small space.

Yunho is pale, head bent over a small bucket balanced on his thigh. His other leg is across Changmin’s lap, the younger man massaging his ankle. The massage is more for comfort than necessity for it is not Yunho’s ankle that is paining him, rather his gastric.

The gentle fingers are a complete counterpoint to the barely contained fury of the younger man. He had already spent a good minute screaming at the useless doctor who had prescribed strong pain medication to take on tour for Yunho without telling him that gastric is a normal side effect for normal people. For someone with Yunho’s stomach, it is as if you had just made him swallow acid tablets.

Changmin reaches over to the cup of tea, one hand still massaging, while the other holds the cup to his lips as he tests the temperature of the liquid.

Yunho looks up just then, eyes slightly red-rimmed and watering, yet resolute. Changmin knows better than to even try to vocalise what he wants. Yunho will not let it happen. Even if he has to perform on crutches or in a wheelchair, he will be on that stage.

He moves closer, cupping the back of Yunho’s head gently as he holds the cup to his lips.

One sip and Yunho rears back and away, eyes showing his distaste for the herbal tea, but Changmin’s hand at the back of his head while gentle, is firm. The leader’s shoulders droop slightly in resignation, but he allows the younger man to pour the liquid down his throat.

Once the drink is downed, Changmin takes the small towel on his shoulder and uses it to wipe the man’s lips. He does not say a word, focusing on his task. Yunho’s earlier choppy breathing from the pain is still a little irregular, but it is easing as the liquid does its magic to temporarily alleviate some of the pain.



As Yunho smirks into the camera during his solo later, it is Changmin’s belly that starts cramping painfully while he watches, and he briefly wonders if that drink will help him.


~~~



“Why can’t you be like him?”

Jihyo looks up with a questioning expression at Gary. They are having a meal in between shooting Running Man.

“Eh, what nonsense are you talking about now?”

Joong Ki who is seated with them nods towards the next table. “Him. He’s talking about Changmin-ssi.”

“I can’t really sing, I can’t dance, and I’m not tall enough to be like him.”

Jihyo looks over, not really seeing anything out of the ordinary. Jaesuk, Yunho and Jongkook are talking rather animatedly, while Changmin who is seated opposite Yunho either nods, smiles, or laughs at the appropriate places. He does not really engage in the boisterous conversation, but he is not left out either, his more outgoing leader drawing the more reticent younger man in at every chance he gets.

Someone comes over just then, dropping four bottles of colored vitamin water at the table.

Changmin immediately reaches for Yunho’s, opening it and drinking a mouthful before replacing it in front of his leader. He then opens his own bottle and drinks thirstily from it.

Yunho pauses long enough to take a drink from his own newly opened bottle. Apparently the taste of his own yellow vitamin water does not appeal to the leader because he makes a face and glances over at Changmin’s red vitamin water. The look is very brief, but Changmin had been watching Yunho drink and he catches it.

The younger man immediately drops his bottle right next to Yunho’s and takes the other man’s bottle, continuing the conversation, while holding onto the bottle so his hyung will have no choice but to take the red vitamin water should he want a drink.

“See? Would you do that for me?”

“Do what? Share my drink? Of course not! You have germs. I don’t want your germs!”

“Yah!” Gary shakes his head, annoyed with his partner. “That’s not the point. Don’t you know the story?”

“Changmin-ssi does that every time especially when it isn’t water. I saw him doing it earlier as well.” Joong Ki offers before the Monday couple start bickering. “Yunho-ssi was poisoned by an unknown bottle of drink a few years ago.”

Jihyo might be a little slow some times but she is smart and picks up on the implication immediately. “Oppa, I like you most days, but I’m not willing to die for you on any day.”

The disgusted sound Gary makes attracts everyone’s attention, as does Joong Ki’s laughter at his colleagues.


~~~



Changmin’s eyes are still on every last mud-covered person trying desperately to get atop the platform. He startles briefly when he feels a hand cupping his jaw, and while he tilts his head up helpfully, though his eyes do not leave the platform as he watches Jong Kook protecting his female team mate and shoving Kwang Soo away. He laughs, but is briefly startled when he feels water against his chin.

Tearing his eyes away from the antics of the Running Man cast, he turns up to look questioningly at his hyung. Yunho is pouring water into his cupped palm and washing at Changmin’s mouth and chin. When his thumb slips between his lips, Changmin’s heart just about stops as well.

Their eyes meet and Yunho smiles exaggeratedly, showing his teeth.

Unquestioningly mimicking him, Changmin smiles broadly as well, all teeth.

He feels Yunho cleaning his teeth, scraping a tooth, and when the bitter taste touches his tongue, he spits out helpfully.

Ha Ha and Jaesuk watch without a word, eyes thoughtful as Yunho walks back towards the staff to return the bottle of water he had gone out of his way to get the second he had caught sight of Changmin’s face.


~~~



“I think he’s asleep.”

Yunho hears the whispers, and he is not at all surprised to find that Changmin is indeed sound asleep on the bed. He cannot really blame the younger man though, for the voluminous comforters are just begging for someone to sleep within their fluffy confines. Yunho would have slept too if he was shooting first.

“Can we take five?”

The shoot director is more than happy to agree. The younger half of the duo has been decidedly frosty since the poolside shoot and while still outgoing and cooperative, there is a hint of suspicion in his eyes as if questioning the intention behind every direction.

Yunho settles on the bed next to his sleeping partner, and rubs the man’s back through the voluminous covers.

Changmin cracks open an eye immediately, sees that it is his hyung and rolls over onto his back to make more room.

The leader gets into the bed properly, leaning back against the headboard, unable to suppress a smile at Changmin’s disgruntled expression. He knows exactly how awake, or rather asleep, Changmin is when the younger man immediately leans over to wrap himself around one of Yunho’s outstretched legs and drops his head squarely in Yunho’s lap, eyes shut.

Yunho immediately looks up and shakes his head, saying “no,” quietly.

The shoot director is itching, but he has taken enough liberties that day and he acquiesces, shaking his head at his cameramen and telling them verbally not to snap any shots.

Sleepy Changmin on the other hand apparently has other ideas.

Calling him a koala was definitely not a misnomer as he snuggles rather thoroughly around Yunho’s leg. Reaching up over his head, he pats around Yunho’s body blindly to find his arm, grabbing the man’s forearm, he drags it over his back in a silent request.

The thing about Changmin is that his guard is completely let down when his hyung is around.

When he is within touching distance and best of all, hugging distance, nothing and no one can hurt Changmin and he knows it.

The shoot director gives them fifteen minutes.

He even clears the room for good measure.

Changmin had the best nap in weeks.


~~~



Changmin is exhausted. Their schedule has not been this intense since their debut days and he is barely able to stand upright let alone answer questions.

It goes both ways, for Yunho is even more busy with shooting his drama in between practice and concerts and photoshoots and interviews. While he knows for a fact that they have had maybe five hours of sleep between them in the last 48 hours, Yunho is still bright-eyed as ever as only his hyung can be.

He stands behind the slightly shorter man, away and out of the direct line of sight of the excitable Japanese interviewers. He feels Yunho’s questioning hand against his thigh, and he drops his hand to squeeze the man’s wrist in return while leaning some of his weight against Yunho’s shoulder to accentuate his request. He is on his very last legs and on the verge of hallucinating and he cannot trust what his mouth might say because nothing is making sense and all he can hear is a dull roaring in his ears.

The interview might have been short when it is finally aired, but the process takes a good hour with Yunho deftly sidestepping and redirecting questions, some times even physically blocking Changmin from the hosts’ questions. Anyone else watching without understanding a single thing about the dynamic between Yunho and Changmin would think the leader trying to hog the interview and by default, the spotlight, when the truth is the total opposite. Yunho answers the questions the way he knows his younger half would answer, and Changmin constantly nods his agreement to the words, all his energy spent on focusing on his hyung, deaf to everything else.

Changmin sways against Yunho’s body several times, and each time, Yunho reaches behind him to steady the younger man without losing his focus on the interview even once. During a short break, someone unkindly comments on the fact that Changmin just seems to be a human nodding doll, simply agreeing to everything his leader says.

That wakes the younger man long enough to point out to the transgressor that he and Yunho are one, and always will be whether anyone likes it or not.

Tired Changmin makes for a grumpy Changmin.

The second half of the interview was an equally strange assortment of the various ways Yunho can speak about Changmin without the man needing to say a single word.


~~~



The atmosphere is frosty.

Uncharacteristically so.

Everyone at SM Entertainment, including their closest friends give the tall duo a wide berth. The decision has only just been finalized, and everyone is more than a little shocked. Those who have known the pair the longest are the least surprised, and those who are young and new, the most.

Changmin’s body is rigid with frustration, his large sunglasses barely hiding his scowl as he practically hurls himself into the corner of the van, face tilted towards the door as if daring the other man to come and sit next to him.

They have been arguing and fighting about this for so long, now that the decision has been put to paper he believed the disagreement to be at an end.

Apparently not.

The other man enters the vehicle, and he does not take up Changmin’s challenge, choosing to sit by the door instead.

“How many stops?”

“One.”

Changmin immediately bristles, opening his mouth to correct that when Yunho’s hand on his knee stops him.

His protest dies in his throat and he huffs, throwing himself back in his seat, arms crossed, scowling out into the street as the van starts to move.

It does not take long, because one stop always means Yunho’s place.

The younger man wonders what will happen if he just flatly refuses to leave the van. Yunho will not drag him out of the vehicle like an unwilling child.

Or will he?

He decides to test his theory and see just how far he can push it when he does not move after Yunho moves to get out.

It really takes only two seconds because Yunho stumbles when his second (formerly injured) foot exits the vehicle, and Changmin is out of the van in a heartbeat.

Still hurt and frustrated, he does not speak, but he lends his body as a crutch for his hyung who hobbles along gratefully, making the odd pained sound every few steps.



Needless to say, Changmin is the least impressed human being ever when Yunho’s hobbling stops when they are within the confines of his apartment.

Absolutely disgusted with his hyung’s underhanded tactics, the younger man storms off into his bedroom. Upon shutting the door, he realizes he has a problem.

Digging into his pocket, he pulls out his phone and presses a number on speed dial as he exits the room to enter the one next to it, shutting the door, and turning the lock.

“What’s wrong?”

“Yah, why do you have to greet me with what’s wrong? Does something have to be wrong for me to call you?”

“No, but I know you and oppa are not getting along so if you’re calling me, something probably happened. What’s wrong?”

“Can I sleep in your room?”

“Huh?”

“Your room in hyung’s apartment. It has a lock on the door.”

Jihye starts laughing, unable to believe her ears. “Look, if oppa wanted to get to you, no door or lock on this earth will keep him away from you. Whatever it is, you’re paying to replace the door if anything happens to it.”

“Fine. Thank you.”

“Don’t say things you can’t take back,” Jihye warns.

“Well that’s easy since I don’t plan on speaking to him ever again until he gets the broomstick out of his ass and admits that this is the best solution.”

“He’s concerned if it is the best solution for you, not for both of you.”

“I am the both of us. He is the both of us. Your brother of all people should understand this wholly and completely.”

“He does…but you know what he’s like. Talk to him.”

“I’m tired of talking. It’s gotten me nowhere,” Changmin snaps before apologizing to her for his tone and then bidding her goodbye.



Yunho presses his forehead against the locked door, sighing quietly against it. He feels his phone vibrating in his pocket and he knows it can only be one person and he moves a distant away from the door before he answers it.

“Can you two please stop fighting?”

“We’re not fighting,” Yunho shuts the door on his room and sits on his unmade bed, sighing loudly.

“Oh really? So that’s why he’s barricaded in MY room to get away from you? Why doesn’t he just return to his own apartment?”

“I may have tricked him into thinking I was injured…”

“Oppa…you really need to get your head checked. And besides, he probably knows the truth now so why doesn’t he just leave?”

“That’s a rather good question…”

“Great. Both of you WANT to be together but neither of you wants to give in.”

“I’m trying to set him free!”

“And every time you try, he locks himself up with you. Doesn’t that tell you something? Freedom and my room. Freedom and my room. He chose my room in your apartment!”

“But I just want what’s best for him, and he shouldn’t—“

“And all he wants is to be with you. How is that not the best thing for him?” Jihye sighs loudly, closing her eyes and pinching the bridge of her nose. She is close to her brother and god knows she loves him to bits but sometimes she understands why Changmin gets mad.

“It’s hard to explain…,” Yunho’s tone is a tad defensive.

“I can see why he says talking hasn’t gotten him anywhere. Whatever it is, I know you’ll come around and you know deep down that he’s right.”

“You’re siding with him?”

“I’m siding with both of you. You’ll understand when you stop trying to justify the opposite to yourself.”

“He’s too young to be going in so early. You have to at least admit that much! For an idol!”

“Oppa, he’s a full grown man and this is his choice. Take yourself and being an idol out of the equation and think of him like any other normal man and imagine how angry you would feel if someone tried to tell you when to enlist. It’s probably one of if not the biggest decision a Korean man can make at this stage of his life and the decision is never taken lightly.”

“But—“

“Is Changmin smart?”

“Very smart.”

“Smarter than you?”

“Definitely.”

“Then leave the smarter man to make his own smarter decisions.”

“Ouch,” Yunho mutters drily. “Why don’t we just make him the leader while we’re at it.”

“He wouldn’t make a good leader.”

“Yes, he would.”

“No need to get defensive,” Jihye placates her brother. “I meant within your dynamic. Changmin looks up to you so much that some of my ex-classmates used to joke that he was your sunflower and you were his sun.”

“When you were in school? But back then he had a crush on—“

“Yes, but he loves you.”

“I know.”

“And you love him.”

“He knows.”



Changmin falls into a fitful sleep, never once leaving the room in three hours, spending most of it on his back staring at the ceiling and muttering angrily to himself about dense hyungs. Not even his growling tummy compels him to leave the room, thankful on more than one occasion that Jihye’s room has an ensuite while he mentally redesigns the room to add a little well-stocked kitchenette for emergency situations.



He awakens to the smell of food, finding a steaming bowl of tofu and bean sprout soup, a large bowl of rice, an assortment of side dishes and a heaped plate of bulgogi on a tray on the dresser. He can still see the steam from the food. There is even a couple cans of beer, the condensation on it apparent to him in the late afternoon sun.

Hunger lessens his anger at the man breaching his sanctuary in Jihye’s room, and he devours the food quicker than he should, washing it all down with the beer and wanting more.

Changmin is nothing if not stubborn though, and after relieving himself in the toilet, he goes back to bed. They are on a two day break and if Yunho wants to be denser than Osmium then that’s his prerogative. Changmin refuses to entertain it.



This time when Changmin awakens, it is clearly night for the sky outside is dark, the room illuminated slightly by the street lights filtering through the day curtains.

He is not alone either, Yunho asleep along the outer side of the bed, lying on his back, hands primly clasped over his belly, mouth open, snoring quietly.

Finding it terribly odd that his hyung is sleeping in such a detached and distant manner, Changmin reaches over and tugs gently at the man’s forearm.

Yunho awakens immediately, sitting up confusedly, he looks around. Their eyes find each other’s in the semi-darkness and they both arrive at the same conclusion.

Changmin is already out of the bed when Yunho finds his feet and the younger man leaves the bedroom first, walking straight past his own room to enter Yunho’s.



Jihye, worried for her door, and possibly her oppa as well, arrives the next morning laden down with breakfast to coax Changmin into leaving his anger at her brother, and finds that all is as it should be in the world of TVXQ!.

Changmin is back to making like a koala on Yunho.








AN: I had an extremely vivid dream about Yunho and his apartment and that final drabble was kinda how it appeared in my dream. Changmin’s bedroom is next to Yunho’s and his sister’s is further down the hallway with her own bathroom and a lock on the door…And before anyone wonders, it was NOT that kind of dream :P He stuck me in his sister’s room hahaha. More’s the pity though…

  • 1
Nice!! I've been waiting for a Homin update for so long :) love this~ I miss them so much :(

Thank you for writing ^^

This is the best thing I've read in a long time.

Wonderful, in depth glimpses of their relationship. And more than glimpses — you've put us inside the relationship in a way even the professionals around them can't access.

Will be reading this again tonight.

Great way to start my workday. Thank-you!


I'm guessing the main drabble is the last one.

Thank you for writing the story

I miss Trophy Wife sorry for that out of the blue comment haha

it took me a moment before i realize it wasn't the normal setting. Changmin is the leader here, right? ((:

I'm guessing the main drabble here is either the last one or the fourth one to the last. :D

Having reread (and appreciated your writing more thoroughly) I compliment you on the the order of these scenes.

They are indeed visual cinema, even though they're constructed with words.

Beautiful indie movie!

cute homin
ugh I miss them
though Changmin does look sexy in the police clothes

thanks for this!

Edited at 2016-05-12 04:51 am (UTC)

this was wonderful. :) i was just thinking of reading homin too. ^^

reading this made me miss them both so much~ hmmmm... i'm guessing that the original drabble might have been the one about the shoot in the pool where min was half naked with yunho's head on his thigh :)

really. one of the best i've read about homin. hahaha. it's just lovely to see how their dynamics work in both work and outside of it...

thanks for sharing this~ :)

A slice of homin perfection in my life
Thank you Nikki
....
Even though this wasn't a slice but a big fic, thank u for this
I missed your writing and thanks for making time and writing/posting this!

yassss that photoshoot must have been inspiring someone to make a great fluff fic! and it's you i am so happy :3

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