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All skin and no shame

...innocence is just an illusion...


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Drabble: Of Cats and Beer
YJ01
beeswaxing
Title: Of Cats and Beer
Pairing: YunJae
Rating: PG
Length: Drabble
Genre: non-AU
Disclaimer: I don't own anything apart from the story.

Summary: One man’s disappointment leads to unexpected “fun”.

AN: I know I’m probably one of a million people writing this :D












“We are insane. I knew you were insane but I didn’t know I was too. What are we doing here???” The tall man hisses under his breath as he pulls up his hood higher, seriously wanting to disappear into the wall if he can. He has sunnies and a mask on and yet he still feels incredibly exposed.

Jaejoong pretends not to hear the party pooper who had been complaining since he picked him up from the airport.

---

“I feel like a criminal.”

“What if we get caught?”

“Hyung, you’re the passionate type that doesn’t look before he jumps and then falls into the damn rabbit hole and twists an ankle. I’m the idiot who looked, sees where the hell you’re going to land, knowing that it’s gonna be rough and bloody follows you anyway. Why am I being punished for your chronic blindness?”

“A cat cafe? You have got to be motherfucking kidding me. I am risking my neck, my career, and my future sponsored beer for the rest of my life for a cat cafe? Someone please wake me from this nightmare…”


---

“Are you going to order something?”

“No, I’m not even going to talk. You can order whatever the hell you want and pay for it yourself. I am just going to sit here and pretend I’m not here.”

“Well,” Jaejoong sniffs. “Good luck with that.”

“I’ll come with you,” a warm voice finally interrupts the monologue and occasional snarky comment.

Changmin opens his mouth to protest, but the words die on his lips when a large hand squeezes his thigh warningly. His jaw snaps shut and he leans back in the admittedly comfortable chair and folds his arms crossly, glaring at his two extremely insane hyungs as they walk away from him.

Yunho walks as close to Jaejoong as he can without it looking odd. “He’s right you know. This place is a little strange. We couldn’t go to some out of the way place for lunch?”

‘Well you two are looking extremely fluffy and domestic lately so I figure you’d be completely at home with all the fluffy and domesticated cats here.”

The leader of Tohoshinki grins and risks an arm around the slighter man’s shoulders. “Jealous, my love?”

“No. I’m just calling you a pet cat.”

“I think you’ve been hanging out with Changminnie too much. You’re starting to snark like him.”

Jaejoong stops a few steps from the counter and turns, causing the taller man to drop his arm and bump into him. He isn’t wearing shades unlike the other two and he lowers his gaze, staring at Yunho’s mask hiding half his face from him before he glances up through his eyelashes, gaze heated. “How would you prefer I talk then?” he asks, voice low and purposefully husky. “We’re here surrounded by a lot of cute cats and a tiger at our table.”

The taller man holds his hands up in surrender, tugging his cap forward a little more, suddenly feeling a tightness in his pants and very self-conscious. “Uh…”

“Cat got your tongue?”

He gives up. He can’t win against either of them for they both know him too well. Instead of admitting it, he simply turns and walks back to join Changmin who is currently trying to figure out how to entertain two feline visitors who are sitting on their table, staring curiously at him. He can hear familiar chuckles trailing after him.

Changmin looks up as his hyung approaches, his eyes questioning.

“I don’t know what he’s getting us. Do people succumb to catnip too?”

“You? Jaenip might be—“

“Jaenip?” Yunho’s short burst of laughter scares both cats busy ogling his younger partner completely off the table.

The other half of TVXQ rolls his eyes and reaches over to smack his hyung sharply on the shoulder. “Control yourself. We’re supposed to be inconspicuous.”

“It’s you two with the distinctive laughter. Not really me.”

“Hyung…” Changmin’s voice is a little pained. “I am pretty sure you have fans who can draw you from memory, scars included. If there are any here, we are absolutely dead.”

Yunho look around and apart from a whole load of cats, no one else is really looking in their direction. In truth, they are probably avoiding them, dressed the way they are as if they’re about to rob the place. Thick sunglasses, caps and hoods and masks and what have you. If he saw the two of them in a shop, he’d give themselves a wide berth too.

However he really couldn’t say no when Jaejoong called. Upset and distraught yet again from the ridiculous mishandling of his proposed fan meet in Macau by his dubious management company, he had asked if they could spare a day away with him to do something fun cos he desperately needs cheering up. Changmin had been going a little stir crazy as well with all the filming and the practice sessions that he had immediately agreed when Yunho had asked. It was just practice that day and the dancers and choreographers were more than happy to be given the day off. Yunho had warned all involved that they may need to have twelve hour days to make up for it, but all were fine.

It was Changmin who had suggested Osaka, because he had very specific ramen cravings, and Jaejoong had readily agreed.

Now however, the maknae might be regretting letting Jaejoong decide on their itinerary for the cat cafe was their first stop, not the ramen shop.

As if on cue, Jaejoong arrives with a few slices of cake, a bowl of cat food and a distinctly bemused expression on his face.

“What’s wrong?” Changmin notices first and he straightens in his seat, trying to swallow his alarm.

The singer shakes his head, “They didn’t know me.”

“Who didn’t know you?”

“The counter staff. There was no recognition in their eyes and they asked for my name for the coffee I ordered.”

“Even if they don’t recognise your eyes, they may still recognise your name.”

“I said my name was KJ.”

Changmin narrows his eyes. “Are we happy or disappointed that they didn’t know you?”

This time, another man gets smacked on the shoulder.

Yunho merely smiles behind his mask as the oldest and youngest start bickering again, turning towards the nearest rather wary cat, trying to convince it to take food from his fingers.



“I have never seen that many cats more content to stare at you than to take food from you.”

“I’m more of a dog person, hyung…”

“You call that a dog? My cats were bigger than your dog!” Jaejoong giggles before turning to kiss Yunho on the mole above his mouth. “Right? His Mang Dongie was the smallest little thing ever. I think Taepoong was bigger than him as a puppy. Jiji was definitely bigger than the squirt.” He giggles again before coaxing Yunho into a more cooperative, smoky beer flavoured kiss.

“Your cat was fat,” Changmin declares definitively before starting on his third bowl of ramen, deciding not to comment on the snogging. He is sitting opposite the couple in a private room and to be fair, both hyungs have been limiting the PDA till about five minutes ago when Jaejoong’s beer-o-meter tipped into the frisky range. While he may be like this with some of his friends, it takes more like thirteen beers than the three beers to get him there unlike when he’s drinking with Yunho.

Jaejoong pulls away from the kiss first. “Yunnie…did he call Jiji fat?”

One could honestly hear the pout from the moon, it was that pronounced.

“Your Jiji was fat,” Yunho answers in a ridiculously cutesy voice. He’s also had three drinks too many.

Changmin all but spews his mouthful of beer all over their table of food and the cuddling couple who do not appreciate it one bit.

“Yah! What the hell?”

The maknae is coughing and tearing and waving his arms in apology but he’s about to give himself a stroke from trying to hold in his laughter.

Jaejoong is busy patting at his face and clothes with a napkin, grumbling about ridiculous maknaes while Yunho, genuinely concerned that Changmin is about to have some type of heart attack, has gone over to the other side of the table to tap the man between the shoulder blades.

The younger man immediately turns to his hyung, gripping his shoulders with both hands and presses his face into his chest and starts howling with laughter. The more he laughs, the closer he pulls Yunho till he is basically just hugging the man and laughing like hell.

Finally getting it, Jaejoong huffs, trying to contain his own smile. He can see Yunho is still clueless and he waves at the man with his chopsticks to get his attention.

“Jiji means cock in Chinese, remember?”

Yunho looks nonplussed for a second, before he covers his face with one hand, shoving Changmin away with the other, the maknae still full of amusement as he lays back on the floor clutching his belly and trying to contain his residual laughter.

Grumbling to himself about ridiculous maknaes as well, the words practically identical to his lover’s, he returns to his side of the table where Jaejoong pats his thigh with a fond smile.

Changmin finally gets a hold of himself and sits up, lifting a piece of tonkatsu from his bowl and dropping it in Yunho’s, all three somehow forgetting about the fact that Changmin has essentially sprayed holy water over all their food.

“If your cock really was fat, is it possible to lose weight from your cock?”

“Yes, after I come,” the reply is blithe and matter of fact, though the expression on Jaejoong’s face is rather coy, mentally counting to himself.

Three.

Two.

One.

Changmin tugs at his reddening ear, looking down at his warm bowl and contemplates whether to toss the contents at his stupid hyung.

“I feel like you two switched souls lately or something,” Yunho admits, pinching the bridge of his nose before taking a deep breath and deciding that focussing on his food is probably a good idea.

Cocks…come…Jaejoong…

He clears his throat and then sighs. He’s really not going to win this one for he can feel a hand creeping over his knee. However if losing means Jaejoong or Changmin win, then he’s all for it. They’re going to have a visitor in their apartment for a couple of days so really, he’s pretty sure he’s won anyway despite losing.

The doe-eyed man shrugs, grinning as he takes a sip from his fourth glass of beer, his other hand very high up Yunho’s thigh and feeling the man twitch by his fingertips.

“I really want a beer ad.” The-rest-of-TVXQ decides to change the subject. “We don’t really need to uphold a super clean image since we’ve served in the military and most of our fans can legally drink anyway so why won’t anyone give us a beer ad? Have I not talked about it enough?”

Jaejoong stares thoughtfully at the maknae, absentmindedly dropping a piece of Kobe beef into Yunho’s bowl as well. “Use your SNS accounts.”

“What do you mean?”

The man shrugs, shifting his body slightly so he is leaning against Yunho’s chest as he picks lazily at his food, feeding the tastiest morsels to his lover blindly, the man opening his mouth obediently as soon as the meat gets close enough. “Just post selfies of you drinking beer or something. I’m sure the companies pay attention to idols who seem to promote things. Just look at that Save the Penguin bag you carried a few weeks ago. It went out of stock and some enterprising fans even started making Save the Changmin bags, whatever that means because you sure as heck don’t need saving.” He waves his chopstick at the younger man. “I know of fans who have purchased things from shops just because they were playing TVXQ songs. Fans who switched to Missha when you two were their models and who never bought anymore when you stopped. Don’t underestimate the power of your fans.”

“Don’t encourage him,” Yunho groans. “He just wants the free beer and I already think he drinks too much. Both of you drink too much.”

“Yah,” Jaejoong nudges the leader roughly, and pulls away. “We’re both grown men. You can be the passionate chaebol and we’ll be your drunken minions.”

“Hmmm…” Changmin’s expression is thoughtful. “Maybe you’re not as dumb as you look.”

No one is surprised when a pair of chopsticks go flying at a rather hard head, the aim true and accurate.








AN1: I needed a fluffy outlet. It’s only been a day and I’m already tired of the seemingly hundreds of relatives that I have that I went into hiding in my room. You can blame Suman and Trishy cos they were talking about Changmin and his beer selca (70 messages on Line or sth) when I came on and this just emerged like a drunken butterfly.

AN2: Also nickianon reminded me about what Yunho's letterhead said... I write to help me overcome things happening in my life and I really needed some fluff so i'm trying to heal myself ;;

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Awwww hahahaha this is so cute xD thanks for writing it! And I hope you feel better soon ❤️


Soulfighter's dynamic is always amaze me. But it's true suffer for Yunho. In the end I think he enjoys as much as he suffers. Cause one of them his other half and the other one is TVXO's (His home) other half. Thank you for sharing :)

OH MY GOD HELP.


SO MANY GEMS IN HERE I CAN'T EVEN.

The thought of Changmin staring at the cats "trying to figure out what to do with them" 😂😂😂 and oh dear he's definitely not pleased at having to risk his future sponsored beer for a cat cafe. xDD I had to actually muffle my laughter with my pillow several times so that I wouldn't wake everyone up xDDD

And yes. The fat Jiji joke. XDD

this was so cute and thank you. i just finished re-watching "the exorcism of emily rose" on hbo and this fluffy cute drabble is my bedtime story.

plus it distracted me from thinking about jaejoong's fanmeeting tickets going on sale later because i can't buy one for myself.

poor yunho. when jaejoong and changmin get together he's kind of become their punching bag. which reminded me of what happened when yunho and changmin were guests in knowing brother. heechul was changmin's tag team partner then... along with kang hodong too hahahahaha

again, thank you for writing this. 😊😊😊


Thank you so much for this story, I was reaoly in need for something fluffy! (And with good grammar :D) Thank you for making me laugh again!
Hope you'll get better soon ^.^

So cute that you were able to combine both into the story. Thank you for the fluffy story

Cute story. I miss the soulfighters.

My Jaemin feels. I love their back and forth banter ;_;

For real though, I'm wondering if ending up with a pet shrimp was the driving force behind Jaejoong's cat cafe trip or if he just fancies cat cafes ^^;

I love how you incorporated all the real world possibilities in this.

(And I too, think Changmin deserves to have a beer ad. Utilize that instagram, Minnie. It could happen)

Thank you for writing this :D


Lol for "jaenip" and "jiji" thing. So hilarious XD
I really miss jaemin's quarrel. They always have a word to say to each other XD thanks for writing this super fluffy story nicki. Love it so much

lol when fluffy YunJae have the third-wheel Changmin tag along, it's so amazingly enjoyable. 😁

it has been a long time since i logged in to my LJ and i've already read this one before but i read it again today. ahhhhh i love this. i miss my jaemin T^T and thank you for sharing your muse. kkk

So cute. I missed Yunjaemin moments.

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