Log in

No account? Create an account

All skin and no shame

...innocence is just an illusion...

Previous Entry Share Next Entry
Love In The Ice [23b]
Title: Love in the Ice
Pairing: YunJae/JaeHo
Rating: NC-17
Length: Chaptered
Genre: Non-AU, mild angst, fluff, romance
Disclaimer: I don't own anything apart from the story. I wish I had YunJae and if I had my way, they'd move to New Zealand so they can be married here.

Summary: A script for a new mini-series is left in Yunho’s apartment by his manager, and as he reads it, he becomes more and more intrigued. Unbeknownst to him, one of the leads has already been cast, and the contracts signed. When he too is cast in the project after expressing interest in the part, he gets the shock of his life when he arrives for the script reading to be faced with a person from his past. Someone that he has spent years trying to pretend never existed. How will they be able to get through filming this without killing each other? Or worse…

AN1: It’s been a difficult time for everyone and writing is my form of therapy. It’s a coping mechanism for me and I hope you are ok with it. I hope each of you reading this and knowing what happened, also have something for yourself that will help you through this difficult time. I am by no means ok, but I am coping. This chapter got longer than expected because I can’t seem to keep them reigned in. This was initially Jaejoong’s fault then it became Yunho’s fault.

AN2: Oh and if you’re a new reader who has never read ICE, I really think you should because I will make a few references to it without actually spelling it out because the assumption is that everyone has read ICE and are familiar with the plot…

“Oh shit…”

Changmin basically face dives against Yoochun’s back, his lap was one of those sacrificed. Tightening his arms around the older man, he starts banging his forehead between the man’s shoulder blades.

Yoochun lets him, a little flabbergasted himself, eyes wide as he stares at his purported soulmate. It’s not wholly unexpected because the PDAs between the two hyungs have been pretty common of late if that afternoon in the Dome was anything to go by, but this is on another level altogether.

You do not need to know them to be able to feel the indescribable connection that arcs out like forked lightning to touch and zap those both near and far. The way the leader tilts his head back submissively, yet the grip he has of the blond man’s jacket, the tightness betrayed by whitened knuckles and popping veins, no one would doubt that he could switch around in the blink of an eye and lift the singer onto the counter and splay him out like a decadent dessert as he imbibes in the sweetness - if he had a mind to.

And then you have the gorgeous conundrum that is essentially Youngwoong Jaejoong. Too beautiful for a man that considerable women would pale next to, yet masculine enough for anyone watching to know he is one hundred percent male, from the breadth of his shoulders, to the cut of his diamond jawline and the hand he has curved around the throat of another man. His hands are by no means dainty, nor are they delicate, and if he had the slightest inclination, no one would doubt he could easily crush the handsome man’s windpipe - if he had a mind to.

Ah In has no idea where to look, another one with a victimised lap as Joongki is seated quite firmly in it with his arms about his neck, the man a rather affectionate drunk.

“How do they do that?” Joong Ki asks, nuzzling into the side of his onscreen boyfriend’s head, staring unashamedly at the couple, his voice filled with curious wonder. “Kiss like there’s no one else in the room. Like there are no cameras within pointing distance of them. Like there isn’t a head writer who is secretly a demon of some sort nearby who could ruin the moment in a heartbeat. How do they forget everything and see only each other?”

Junsu leans back against Yoochun’s chest, sighing at the expression on the female bartender’s face. “Quite easily.”

“Too easily,” Changmin adds, finally lifting his head and resting his chin on Yoochun’s shoulder, eyes damp, before uttering the words that got all them into this pickle to begin with. “I wish we lived in a world that was accepting of them. I cannot understand how anyone can find ugliness in that,” he nods towards his hyungs. “How can their love be unacceptable?”

“Love is love,” Joong Ki agrees, the final member of the team to come onboard. After being exposed to the two for a concentrated amount of time, he is hard pressed to be anything else. It is impossible to miss how Jaejoong’s eyes light up when Yunho is nearby, or how Yunho’s eyes always search for the singer, his body visibly relaxing when he finds him and how he doesn’t seem settled until they are within touching distance. “I couldn’t kiss any girl the way they’re kissing right now. I can’t even imagine it, let alone act it.”

“Don’t imagine,” Junsu intones quite seriously, causing a few quiet chuckles around at the memory.

“I never really thought it was Jaeho though,” Joong Ki muses out loud, earning himself a very exasperated sigh from his human chair.

“Does it matter?”

The actor hums, eyes alight as if something profound has been revealed to him. “Not at all.”

The quintet fall into silence, three of them not noticing that the music has changed, so preoccupied with the kissing couple. Two who are more used to it sigh together, their breaths mingling.

You shimmy-shook my boat
Leaving me stranded all in love on my own
Do you think of me?
Where am I now
Baby, where do I sleep?

“I think you did good, kid,” Yoochun finally drags his eyes away and rubs his cheek against Changmin’s.

The youngest doesn’t answer, the seed of guilt germinating within him.

What if it doesn’t work? Will he recover?

Will they?

The kiss gives the impression of a film being run in slow-motion, the steady stream of liquid unseen but for the recipient’s bobbing adam’s apple as he swallows, Jaejoong’s head tilted down to fill his boyfriend with the taste of bright, cheery, snow-filled christmas.

The taste is refreshing, and it fills the younger man with thoughts of ice.

Jaejoong deepens the kiss the second the last drop of gin and tonic leaves his mouth, pushing Yunho back, his hand to his throat tightening marginally, as he delves into the leader’s mouth, their cool tongues touching languidly, the kiss wholly unhurried as he steps even closer, their bodies pressed against each other’s. His thumb caresses his younger lover’s chin, feeling the pulsating throb of Yunho’s pulse against his fingers, his jugular beating true.

Every single eye is on them.

Hushed whispers of the same overture over and over again.

”They’re acting right?”

“Is this a new addition to the script?”

The older Tohoshinki staff know better, Sam-san himself nursing a tumbler of whiskey as he eyes the couple from his seat, Sonny and 50 flanking him, both of them trying not to look, but it is near impossible for the pair are genuinely beautiful to behold, and all the more so when this particular instance is rare, to see Jaejoong, who used to forget that he is male around the tall and handsome leader of Tohoshinki, turn aggressor.

All three have bumped into the the two and every single time it’s been Yunho pressing the slighter man into a wall, both experts at pretending they were whispering rather than anything more deviant for Yunho’s body is always turned in such a way as to protect anyone’s view of the beautifully lush lead singer caged within his arms and blushing adorably at being caught, eyes shining with love, happiness and a fair amount of healthy lust.

However there is definitely no illusion of whispering here, and aggressor or not, it is still Jaejoong, and the kiss while deep, isn’t all that aggressive despite his hand to the younger man’s throat.

His thumb is constantly caressing the soft skin, stroking Yunho’s neck soothingly as he leans into the man whose hands have now left his jacket and are around his waist, dangerously close to moving lower.

It takes another minute before Yunho loses himself even more, hands dropping and cupping the singer’s hidden attributes even as he tries to pull the older man closer, practically onto him.

Jaejoong pulls back with a low chuckle, hand leaving his younger lover’s throat to rub the pad of his thumb over the leader’s slick kiss-swollen mouth.

“Later,” he promises, and smirks when Yunho sucks his thumb into his mouth and bites.

Licking the thumb back out of his mouth, the leader of Tohoshinki stares up into the brilliant eyes of the singer that show everything to him and hides nothing.

“Are you going to finish what you started?” he asks, eyes intent, the meaning clear, and if that wasn’t enough, his hands squeeze lightly, feeling the curve of the singer’s ass rather proprietarily.

Jaejoong hums, bending his head again and presses his mouth lightly against the other’s, his legs moving of their own accord to straddle one of Yunho’s thighs. “It depends on how well you can behave while I’m filming.”

This time it is Yunho who draws back slightly, but he keeps their mouths connected, rubbing his full bottom lip back and forth against Jaejoong’s own plush mouth. “I’m not going to like it, am I?”

“Have you met our head writer? That’s pretty much guaranteed.”

“You’re not going to like it either.”

The singer smirks slightly, surprising the man underneath him for a brief second until he feels the hardness nudging subtly against his upper thigh. “I’m going to enjoy thinking about you though. The moments between now and later are insignificant. Just think about our first sex scene and I’m sure you’ll survive the next couple of hours or so.”

He signs his words off with a hard nip to the leader’s bottom lip before straightening up, eyes still on the man, legs still astride the other’s thigh, sinking against the hard musculature and rocking very very subtly, though the wicked gleam in his eyes betrays him.

Yunho brings his own thumb up, rubbing the sting of the bite from his lip, eyes amused. “Is that how you want me?”

Jaejoong shrugs delicately, a complete contrast to the predatory spark in his eye. “That really depends on how well you behave…” he trails off as a gorgeous smirk forms on the leader’s lips, killing his words as his breath catches.

Yunho stands, raising to his full height, a good two inches taller than the blond singer even with his boots, hand immediately slipping around that girlish waist for Jaejoong does not bother to step back, his earlier position meant the leader would have knocked him off-balance but he is safe.

Always safe in Yunho’s arms.

He pinches the beautiful man’s chin between his thumb and index finger as he runs his nose along a cheekbone, smiling as he hears the softest of growls at his treatment. Tilting that angelic face, currently with the eyes of the devil with the promise of fire within them, up towards him, eyes searching and finding what he was looking for, he bends down, his mouth moulding firmly against the other’s soft pout, holding the man in place as he plunders his mouth.

Everyone can see when the blond rock star gives over and sinks against the fictional chaebol ice hockey captain’s body, giving the man his weight, trusting him not to let him fall as he allows, and welcomes the very deliberate and possessive assault on his mouth.

This kiss is not gentle at all, borderline carnal and meant for a bedroom not the middle of a drama set, the handsome leader of TVXQ has had enough of holding back, his mouth slanting roughly and hungrily over the tease that is his older not-quite-lover yet.

Only Changmin’s wide eyes can be seen over Yoochun’s shoulder, the older man is wearing an affectionate grin as he rubs the arms of the muttering singer in front of him, Junsu’s eyes are closed and his litany if anyone could make it out, is basically a string of “please god let them be ok”.

“I reiterate my point,” Joong Ki’s voice is a little over loud but it does absolutely nothing to penetrate the bubble surrounding their two leads, though some of the people in the room do turn their attention to the flushed actor. “There is noway in hell I can even be half as believable kissing a girl as those two are kissing each other,” he pauses for breath, clearly not done yet, his eyes are extremely wide as he continues to stare unabashedly. “And I take it back.”

“Take what back?” Yoochun asks, but his smirk betrays the fact that he’s already guessed.

Ah In has also guessed if his loud groan is anything to go by, wrapping his arms tighter about the tipsy actor’s waist as he glares at his smirking friend. “Don’t encourage him please. If he was sober he’d be mortified.”

“Why would I be mortified?” Joong Ki tries to twist around to question the man he calls chair.

“Somebody change the subject please, dear god…” Junsu groans. “I don’t need another person trying to figure out if it’s Jaeho or Yunjae.”

There is a brief stunned silence before Changmin’s muffled laughter can be heard.

“Hyung…why don’t you go back to praying. I think we’re all safer that way.”

Joong Ki is distracted yet again, eyes on the couple as Yunho readjusts his grip, hauling the rock idol up fully against him easily with one arm.

“I thought Jaejoongie was hot but Yunho…” he trails off, letting out a small giggle as he surveys his audience. He fans himself exaggeratedly and leans back fully against Ah In whose expression can only be described as extremely pained. “I think we should add a T to his name. Yunhot.”

“God, who would have thought you’d be corny as fuck when drunk,” Changmin remarks in baffled amusement as a smattering of awkward laughter echoes around them.

“You don’t think they’re hot?”

Changmin’s gaze slides back to the couple whose fused mouths have finally broken apart but Jaejoong is still most assuredly leaning against Yunho, the two of them whispering something or other to each other, staring into each other’s eyes so intently that a fire could have started and they wouldn’t have moved away from each other.

“They’re my hyungs.”

“Finally,” Junsu breathes out, looking around, eyes slightly dazed.

“What is it?” Ah In asks as he tries to rearrange the deadweight in his lap.

“They changed the song.”

I’ve still got your face
Painted on my heart
Scrawled upon my soul
Etched upon my memory, baby
And I’ve got your kiss
Still burning on my lips
The touch of your fingertips
Is left so deep inside of me, baby

Neither Changmin nor Yoochun correct the singer.


The aura on the set has changed.

Uncomfortable, anxious tension fed it earlier, the PDs and head writer constantly looking over to check that the slightly unpredictable Jung Yunho wasn’t going to swoop in and demand a halt to the proceedings. Several pairs of eyes had watched him turn away at the touch of the actor around the singer’s waist and head straight to the bar for a stiff drink, and several more had been relieved when the man hadn’t turned around after that for there were worse touches that followed, to the point where Jaejoong himself had decided he’d had enough for the time being, and followed his co-star to the bar.

The uninhibited public (but protected) display of affection had stunned the entire venue into silence, feeling like voyeurs who shouldn’t be watching such an intimate moment, yet unable to look away because this is exactly the subject matter of the drama. Unable to miss any opportunity, several cameras had been turned towards the pair, whether to be used or destroyed would be decided on later, but an exchange like that cannot be scripted, nor acted as Joong Ki had quite happily proclaimed to the entire room.

However the message is the same, started and shared by the head writer herself.

They are acting.

Acting or not, the mood in the venue changes after that.

Nobody comments on the rock idol’s swollen mouth, even more lush than normal, reddened naturally without the need for enhancements, the look in his eye is the look needed for the scene.

The sharp, bright-eyed gaze of an awareness-filled hunger.

A look that can also double as stark disillusionment directed inward as he stalks the club searching out relief and finding none.

There is an unmistakable crackle of electricity in the room.

A charge that had been muted for awhile since the first few script readings and the initial filming.

One could almost smell the ozone if you were fanciful enough.

Inexplicable goosebumps are felt by anyone who happens to look at the solitary man sitting on a barstool and nursing a bottle of beer, sipping slowly, his eyes never leaving one person.

No matter what is done, what is said, or what occurs, the tall man’s features betray nothing, though his eyes may as well breathe fire, their laser-like focus solely on the gorgeous male sitting amongst a harem of males and females, easily the rose among the thorns.

The blond’s eyes are equally fiery, his gaze unkind at the smattering of bodies around him, heartily dismissive, his disgust isn’t an act as hands paw at his body and tug at his clothes. What sustains him is simply the unrelenting gaze he can feel.

Eyes on him that do not hold disgust, nor are they marred by contempt at the base scene.

Eyes filled with a fierce pride, a strong masculine confidence that no matter what, nothing will change.

No one comments on the tension.

That frission of awareness if you happen to cut in the line of sight of the two men, regardless of the distance, because how dare you get between them.

How dare you indeed.

The sizzle in the air touches even those far enough to be classed as mere spectators.

“This is insane,” Ah In remarks, rubbing his arms as he stares back and forth between the two leads. “This is worse than that impromptu Kiss B performance and I thought that was bad enough.”

Joong Ki is finally off his lap, sitting at the opposite end of the couch and sobering slowly as he turns to Changmin who is seated on the other couch, intently peeling the label from his bottle of beer.

“How do you do it?”

“Do what?” Changmin asks, but he knows what the man is asking, and he doesn’t look up, concentrating on peeling off the label in one single piece.

Yoochun cuts in as he strokes the hair from Junsu’s peaceful sleeping face, the man’s head in his lap, curled up on the same lengthy couch as Changmin. “It’s never been this bad.”

“You’re feeling three years worth right now. Usually it’s just a few days.”

“Three years of what?” Joong Ki’s brow knits cutely as he tries to make sense of the cryptic words.

“Unresolved sexual tension.” Changmin answers tiredly as he finally looks up. “We should probably find a hotel or something tonight instead of going back to the apartment.”

“Their room is on the other side,” Yoochun adds, rationalising out loud as if he’s talking about the weather. “It’s really too late to find a hotel, and I don’t really want to carry Junsu through a lobby. He’s dead to the world.”

“He didn’t even drink,” Changmin leans forward, poking the prone body, but the older male remains fast asleep.

“Emotional exhaustion.”

“Well, I can certainly identify with that,” Ah In adds, eyes on Jaejoong who is in the process of removing someone’s hand from his lap, his mouth turned down in an unmistakable expression of distaste, and the older actor is pretty sure his friend isn’t acting.

“I’m sure we all can,” Changmin remarks drily. “But if any of you comes running to me looking like you’ve seen a ghost or heard things you cannot unhear, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Jaejoong thought he would feel dirty again.

That he would feel used and abused just like he did that while filming the opening scene.

Hands on his body that he does not care for, marking his pale skin, bruising him and leaving their stamp on him.

All those unwanted touches bringing back memories of other unwanted touches that he did not have the strength to fight off, fearful of what a rejection would do to him.

It is the memory of a short conversation barely an hour past that sustains him, following a searing kiss that left him tingling all the way to his toes and uncaring about the boner hiding beneath his clothes.

An ill-timed conversation, for the PTO (place time occasion) could have been a little better, had followed a rather surprising display of to hell with it from his very proper leader. That memory always makes him touch his mouth, feeling the rosy swell, as if trying to be certain it wasn’t a dream.

And even if he did somehow convince himself it was a dream, all he needs to do is but look in the direction of the bar, and his reality waiting for him there is infinitely better than any dream his imagination could have conjured up.


“Everyone may want to share you, touch you, to steal from you. They may want to take without permission, and attempt to use you and make you something you don’t want to be.” Yunho pauses, eyes glittering. “They cannot take what belongs to another. They cannot make you into something else when I know who you are and your being is safe with me. You belong only to yourself, and if you choose, please allow me to claim you. You are my Jaejoong, and no one else’s.”

“And you are mine.”

“It’s always gone both ways.”

“Even the trust and the faith?”

“Even those, even if it takes longer than I’d like, even those.”

“You have it.”

“Don’t say—”

Jaejoong covers Yunho’s mouth with his own in a brief kiss. “I mean it. You have it. It is me who has to atone for breaking you instead of protecting you. I will protect you, Jung Yunho.”

“And who will protect me from you?” the question is an aching whisper, both of them knowing full well that they will never recover from a second break. The question is necessary, and they are not exactly standing in the best of places to discuss the matter, but the constraints force honesty.

The blond man takes a deep breath and steps back slightly, his eyes resolute, his hands playing with Yunho’s collar. “I don’t know the answer to that, because we both know I can be…irrational,” the singer smiles self-deprecatingly, but he places a finger against Yunho’s mouth when the man attempts to speak. “I can’t promise that I will never hurt you, because we both know I will. I can’t promise that my demons will not rear their heads, because we both know they may when we least expect it.”

“You will always have a safe place with me from those demons.”

“I don’t want to hurt you…”

“It will hurt more if you don’t share them. I won’t try and fix them like I did in the past because I know you’re capable of fighting them, but I will hold you until you figure it out.”

“Still trying to get into my head?”

Yunho kisses the upturned nose and moves his lips to Jaejoong’s cheekbones, kissing each one in turn gently and trying to infuse everything he feels for the fragile yet strong man in his arms that he loves more than he can truly articulate. “I know you’ve had battles in there and I’m willing to wait. Your insecurities are a part of you and they will always be a piece of you, but I cannot know what you’re worried about if you won’t tell me. Know this though, I will only want you. I’ve ever only wanted only you. No matter what anyone else says, you’re hearing it from me. No matter how someone else might act, and that includes my family and friends, I have and will always want only you, and this applies to the entire general human population. Male, female, anything in between or whatever they prefer to call themselves, out of this pool of seven billion people, I have always, and will always, want only you.”

Eyes shining with emotion and something intangible yet palpable all the same as his constant fears are sent back into Pandora’s box for the moment. “I too can promise that I only want you. That i’ve only ever wanted you. Demons and all, I can promise you at least that.”

“Even when I’m old and decrepit?” Yunho’s voice is a little hoarse with emotion, but his eyes are smiling.

“I’m older than you so bite your tongue.”

“By a miserable two days.”

“Two days, ten days, I’m still older.”

“I love you.”

“I know.”


His eyes flit over to the shadowy figure by the bar, illuminated by the softly backlit row of expensive bottles of liquor. As he watches, the man turns to place his empty bottle on the counter, his profile to him, the sharp lines are so imprinted into his brain he can draw it from memory. He sees him conversing with the bartender, another girl, this one with no designs on his man that he can discern.

Tearing his gaze away, he pins the head writer with a level look.

“Is it time?”

“Yes,” she nods towards the empty space next to them and sure enough, his band are assembling quietly and efficiently.

Changmin, forever with the trusty iPad and their resident nerd when it comes to updates to their scripts, has a cute furrow between his eyebrows as yet another new scene is added. It has nothing to do with him, but apparently the writer has decided to add a performance to the club scene, a solo one of Hero which will be played interspersing the harem-like scene he is filming, showing the juxtaposition and the struggle he faces with his inner self, and the one the public sees. It is a hint towards his eventual redemption, completely different from the opening scene. His mild furrow devolves into a dark scowl as he recollects the earlier scene and the song.


You’re made of my rib, oh baby
You’re made of my sin
And I can’t tell where your lust ends
And where your love begins

An evil sneer Jaejoong had sent the camera about halfway through the performance, had Yunho lunging from his seat to seek out one of the directors, asking, no demanding to know if this really is necessary.

But their directives come from much higher up and their hands are tied.

I didn’t want to hurt you, baby
I didn’t want to hurt you
I didn’t want to hurt you
But you’re pretty when you cry…

Yunho is unable to do anything but return to his seat, watching as Jaejoong digs from deep within to turn into the cold, disdainful, hedonistic rocker taunting his audience with his callous behavior, utterly uncaring, his eyes absolutely dead and devoid of any emotion.


I didn’t really love you, baby
I didn’t really love you
I didn’t really love you
But I’m pretty when I lie…

Utterly empty as he sings the same song three times before the PDs are satisfied that they have what they need. Each time the song starts over again, the emptiness in his eyes grow deeper. Till it is so deep, that those watching, those who know him, are all a little afraid that he may not be able to come back from that abyss.

If you knew how much I loved you
You would run away
When I treat you bad
It always makes you want to stay…


His eyes follow the mild commotion, expression devoid of any emotion as he sips on the icy drink he has just been handed. He rather likes the twist Jaejoong had called for, making the cocktail a double but adding more ice. He rubs the glass between his palms, the cold borders on painful and he hangs onto the feeling, saying nothing, not even acknowledging the various curious, concerned, and confused looks sent his way.

Curious as to what’s on his mind.

Concerned as to what he might do.

Confused as to why he hasn’t done anything.

Hero’s band are done setting up, and no one is surprised to find the mic stand facing the alcove where the wet bar is, and where a certain brooding faux ice hockey athlete is exuding mild but clear leave me alone vibes.

“What’s going on?”

Junsu is awake, hair mussed and sticking up rather adorably, making him look like a Troll, blinking in clear confusion at the band set up.

There is a slight commotion as the quintet shift around and once again, are on one couch, their backs to their captain, with a VIP view of the band’s set up.

Changmin hands over the iPad to Junsu silently. This time it is he who is sitting alone in the middle, Ah In and Yoochun in his lap to his left, and Joong Ki with Junsu in his, to his right. He turns, sitting in such a way that he can easily look back and forth between his stoic leader and the pale blond singer conversing quietly with the head writer, as he shrugs out of his jacket. He has his head bent towards her, listening closely even as he waves to a gofer and hands the jacket over. He cannot help the wry smile, for this is the first time the two of them even look like they may be seeing eye to eye for once.

His view of the singer is obscured for a moment, blocked by the young runner, but he has to stifle his chuckle when the boy practically dashes straight to Yunho and hands over the expensive jacket with both hands.

“I guess some things still don’t change,” Yoochun’s rueful grin can be heard through his words.

[Link to the song below...]

The stir subsides as quickly as it started.

Hero is standing behind his mic stand, U-Know at his twelve o’clock. A haunting piano intro starts, and his eyes are unwavering as he presses his mouth against the microphone. The sound that comes from his throat makes everyone sit up.

Hello Darkness, my old friend
I’ve come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping

And the vision
That was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence…

His voice is low, so unlike his normal singing voice, closer to his speaking voice but much deeper, the sound richer - and this is why he is, was, will always be, the lead singer.

That voice is a complete contrast to the vision of gold and black that he is.

It is rough, brooding, and while the sound may not match the image of the singer before them looking expensive as fuck, his eyes tell a different story.

A story of a rough life.

A story of being misunderstood.




The melody changes, rising, and his voice soars out.

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening

People writing songs
That voices never share
And no one dare
Disturb the sound of silence…

Several pairs of eyes tear away from the stripped back set and the soul baring vocals of the singer, to turn to the man that his complete attention.

The music ramps up another octave, and the power behind that voice coming from a body most would consider slight is breathtaking. He rips the microphone from the stand and takes two steps forward, eyes burning as if trying to see into his soul before he turns away for the first time and addresses his audience, eyes devouring each and every one.

Silence, like a cancer grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you
But my words like silent raindrops fell

And echoed in the wells of silence…




He finally closes his eyes, tilting his chin up towards to the ceiling and throwing his free arm out, the music swells higher and his vocals dominate the club.



A touch of despondence.

And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming

And the sign said:
The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls

There is no doubt that he is referring to himself.

He drops his chin and his voice comes down with it, his eyes search for a split second but he finds his mark.

And tenement halls
And whispered
In the sound of silence…

The microphone drops with a thud.

He doesn’t look back.

He doesn’t give anyone a second glance.

He gives absolutely no fucks if the take wasn’t perfect and they need another one.

He just needs one thing and he can only get it from one person - a man like no other and a man that three years could not erase no matter how hard he tried, and he tried really fucking hard.

He wants to erase those three years.

And it starts tonight.

Yunho is already standing when the singer slams into his arms, the blond’s eyes clear and lucid despite the alcohol he has consumed, the perfect drinker.

“Are you ready?” his question is harsh in its tone, an edge of desperation to it as he grabs the other man by the lapels of his leather jacket that the other is now wearing. It is more snug on the broader man, but it still fits, some items of Jaejoong’s clothing now always purposefully looser than they ought to be for one reason only.

Instead of answering, the leader twists to pick up his half downed drink from the counter. It is mostly icy water with some hint of the original drink, but it is enough.

He tips a mouthful and drops the glass, returning quickly, his hands sliding up into that soft blond hair that others have touched when they shouldn’t.

His fists tighten in those silky locks and he can see the flare of pain in the now faintly lined eyes, and the challenge within them.

He will respond in kind.

He will erase it all.

Their mouths meet and the stream of cool liquid hits the back of Jaejoong’s throat in mimicry of something else.

A promise.

A certainty.

The club is so silent you could hear a pin drop.

Or the sexiest fucking moan you will ever hear and survive to tell the tale.

No one will be able to tell you how they left.

Or when they left.

Even the Anyang Halla quintet who have pretty much seen everything there is to see, and heard everything there is to hear, are left speechless momentarily.

“Well, Su is awake. That hotel is looking mighty appealing right about now.”

“Which hotel is the closest?”


TVXQ’s manager ought to be commended. He had called for the van when Hero started singing, knowing as well as anyone who knows the pair that a quick getaway is likely required.

Yunho had acknowledged his gesture with a squeeze to the forearm, and the two disappear into the tinted interior of the TVXQ transport, the manager himself taking the wheel, instructing the driver to take the other much bigger van and take the rest of the team to wherever they want to go.

The partition is up, but the man isn’t too concerned about seeing anything. It’s the sounds that he isn’t sure he’s going to be able to deal with. Taking a deep breath, he drives out of the basement carpark and prays quickly for minimal traffic and quick ride to drop off his passengers.

Despite the manager’s concerns, the pair are sitting in silence.

The muted glow from the streetlights pierce the darkness of their confines. The luxuriously appointed van has four leather reclining seats facing each other, and normally at least two are occupied, sometimes three. This time, only one is.

Jaejoong’s legs are overhanging the arm rest, his bottom resting comfortably on Yunho’s thigh, the man’s arm around him, his hand underneath his top, fingers feeling hot against the cool skin just above his waistband, skipping a soundless melody up and down his abdomen and making his muscles jump with each pass. He doesn’t know where to put his own hands, finally leaving them primly in his lap as he sinks further into the comforting heat of the younger man, feeling nervous for some inexplicable reason.

It was easy in the club.

He should have felt nervous then being in front of so many eyes, but he wasn’t. He knows how to act in front of an audience. He knows how to press their buttons and leave them wanting more. He knows how to tease to have them eating out of the palm of his hand. He knows how to share a piece of himself, making them believe they know him.

That they know every single detail - his needs, his wants, his beliefs, his concerns and his insecurities.

He shares just enough to keep himself protected and to ensure his survival.

It’s so much easier in front of a crowd. He can pretend to be someone else for a moment.

However, right here, where he is sitting, he doesn’t want to pretend.

And that urge, practically a need, to lay everything bare is terrifying.

To give someone that much power over you…

“Why are you so jumpy?” Yunho asks, his whisper a caress along Jaejoong’s hairline and he feels the willowy man shivering in his arms.

“I’m not Hero…it’s easier being Hero…”

“Do you want to be Hero?

“Do you want me to be Hero?”

Yunho presses a thumb against Jaejoong’s chin and tilts the man’s face up towards him, and throws the man’s earlier words that afternoon back at him. “I just want you.”

A soft sound leaves Jaejoong’s lips, and he closes his eyes when Yunho presses his mouth against his, the kiss sweet and reassuring, nothing at all like their PDAs back at the club. They can both be that, and this.

The short time it had taken to leave the club had sobered Yunho enough to understand that he cannot screw this up. The pressure is overwhelming and he forces himself to use those mental exercises he was taught all those years ago. A way to cope with the pressures when it becomes too much, a way to keep himself intact, the very essence that his mother was worried about.

He is strength and he will prove it. He will prove it over and over until Jaejoong believes it.

Until he believes in them once again.

“Who are you?” the whisper across his mouth burns all the way to his very depths.

Yunho opens his eyes to gaze down into luminous doe eyes, over-large in a pale face, framed by soft wisps of blond hair that dance with every breath he takes.

“Like you, I know I am going to screw this up more than once, but my heart will always stay true for you for as long as you want it. This is me, Jung Yunho. Your Yunho.”


Yunho pauses for a moment, not wanting to lie. “Well, you might have to share with Changmin.”

An eyebrow goes up as Jaejoong leans back with a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, the nervousness lifting slightly. “Might? I think that’s as certain as the sun rises in the east.”

“Well, I’ll have to share you with him too,” the leader points out, knowing full well it’s true. Changmin’s loss of Jaejoong impacted their youngest more than he has ever vocalised.

“That’s true.”

“You know…I don’t think I mind it.”

“Mind what?”

There is a longer pause this time, but his voice is unwavering when he finally replies. “Sharing you.”

Jaejoong’s eyes are thoughtful, remembering how Yunho used to even get possessive over Yoochun’s time over him. He isn’t as close to his purported soulmate as he used to be, but he knows it will be easier than breathing for Changmin to curl up like that kitten from Hug he keeps lamenting about and take up residence in his heart, not that he ever truly left.

He decides to tease, just to see how the younger man will react. “So no more kiss marks the coordi noonas are going to have palpitations over if Changmin decides to invite me out to a late night binge drinking session?

The leader of Tohoshinki leans forward and presses his mouth against Jaejoong’s ear, warm breath hot against sensitive skin and there is a smile in his voice when he feels the telltale shiver from the beautiful man in his arms. “If I leave marks all over you, will it mean you’ll leave your shirt on when you perform on Saturday?”

“What makes you think I’m going to let you leave marks over me?” Jaejoong is rather proud of the fact that his voice doesn’t tremble because the breath has just about left his body.

Yunho doesn’t answer, but his hand curves more firmly around the slim waist and he squeezes, just as the vehicle rolls to a stop.

Jaejoong’s nose is buried somewhere in the vicinity of the crease in Yunho’s arm and he might as well be snuffling right into his armpit if his arm had been raised. The younger man chuckles, tapping the blond on the forehead, thankful for the empty elevator.

“What are you doing?”

“You smell so fucking good.”

“I smell like you. I grabbed your shower gel by mistake and used it when I showered at the Dome earlier.”

Jaejoong lets out a soft mewl at the admission, turning even more fully into the man, rolling his hips against the leader, eyes closed. “You smell like you’ve been wearing me.”

“I have been wearing you,” Yunho tugs at the jacket he had put back on Jaejoong for the man had been rather goosebumpy when they left the van.

The singer nuzzles against Yunho’s chest, a little too close for comfort against dangerous body parts. “You need to wear me more often,” his voice huskier than normal.

Yunho’s chuckle is a little strained, his cock which had stirred at the plaintive sound from the older man, is blooming rather rapidly from the man’s words. Well, who is he kidding? He’d been at half mast at the very least off and on for the past few hours.

“Do you like that?”

Jaejoong tilts his chin up, eyes open, heat within them. “How can I not like you smelling like me?”

“It’s vaguely narcissistic,” Yunho murmurs as he ushers the blond out of the lift towards their apartment.

They barely make it through the door before Yunho is slammed against the wall, Jaejoong’s full weight against him, eyes dangerous.

“Tell me you don’t want to smell like me.”

Yunho’s mouth tugs into a small smirk. “There are better ways to smell like you than using your shower gel.”

“Is that right?” Jaejoong practically purrs, before pulling the taller man down into a bruising kiss.

Yunho’s hands move automatically to the singer’s waist, slipping his hands underneath his shirt, he runs his hands heavily up the smooth soft skin, tamping the aggressor down, one hand slipping into the small curve of his lower back while the other unerringly finds a puckered nipple.

His rough touch rips Jaejoong’s mouth from his with a shocked gasp, before he trades it for a low moan, arching into Yunho’s hand even as his eyes play the devil, practically daring the younger man to keep going. Long and skilful fingers twist and flick at one nipple while the other hand has dipped into the small opening of the back of the man’s tight jeans.

Feeling the hand squarely on a bare cheek, Jaejoong shakes himself from his lust-filled stupor that Yunho’s fingers have rendered him and he places a hand against the man’s chest, pushing slightly.

“Not here. The boys could walk in at any time.”

Yunho simply bends down and sweeps the singer up into his arms bridal style, chuckling at the poleaxed expression on the blond’s face as he heads to their bedroom.

“Do you really think they’re coming home tonight?”

Jaejoong lifts his arms over his head, arching his back off the bed, stretching languidly as he stares up at the man smiling affectionately down at him.

“I miss the bed,” he grumbles a tad defensively, wrinkling his nose and pouting. “We’ve been away for…” he lifts his hand and starts counting with his fingers.

Yunho sits by his side and captures his hand, kissing the finger tips, chuckling softly. “Over seventeen hours.”

“Well, we can’t all be geniuses,” his pout is in full bloom.

Yunho bites the pad of Jaejoong’s thumb gently, running the edge of his teeth on the soft pad, eyes intent on the singer who stares right back. “Don’t pout,” he admonishes as his eyes drop to that pink mouth, shiny and a little damp.

“Why not?”

Yunho drops his hand and leans forward, showing him instead.

Stretching out alongside the older man, leaning half over him and giving the smaller man the feel of his weight, the leader presses the blond into their bed, his mouth slanted over that softest of soft pouts, rough and unrelenting, his tongue sweeping and roaming.

Claiming what is being offered.

Possessing what is now his.

His other hand rubs down the man’s body and slips under his top once again, his fingers finding its target unerringly.

There is no need to guess if Jaejoong likes it or not, for his body is as honest as it gets, arching into Yunho’s touch, and the low moan that the leader swallows tells him enough. As does the leg hooking around his hip and trying to coax him into position.

Complying, albeit slower than the impatient insistent blond shifting restlessly beneath him appears to want, Yunho moves, their mouths not breaking contact, his turn to let out a quiet groan as Jaejoong suckles indecently on his tongue, stroking and caressing it lasciviously with his own even as he sucks, the suction travelling on a one way trip straight to Yunho’s cock, already full and heavy and protesting at being confined. The sounds the singer is making would make a porn star blush.

He settles between willing thighs, spread for him invitingly, the sexy sounds the singer is making into his mouth turns into a keening moan when he finally gives his weight to the other, their clothed cocks pressed together.

Jaejoong’s ankles are hooked around Yunho’s hips and he starts to push and pull the man insistently against himself, wanting more friction, more heaviness, more contact. His body arches upwards, craving more, revelling in the man’s weight pressing down on him, his hands finding purchase in the leader’s thick hair and he tightens his grip.

Yunho’s hands are everywhere, pushing Jaejoong’s jacket and shirt up till they are bunched just under his armpits, giving easy access to the man’s permanently erect nipples. Yunho rolls one nub between his fingers and the over-sensitive skin causes the singer to rip his mouth away for the second time that night, eyes wide, pupils blown to hell.

His mouth is slick with spit, rosy from being thoroughly kissed, his breath coming in short pants, lips parted in an invitation that makes Yunho groan and drop his head, sliding back a little, he brushes his bottom lip against a pink nub and Jaejoong lets out a hitched breath.

Their eyes are on each other, Yunho’s breath is uneven as well, but it isn’t as bad as Jaejoong’s. Eyes never leaving the blond’s, Yunho sticks out his tongue and takes a teasing swipe of his nipple.

And then two.

And three.

Jaejoong feels as if he’s just been electrocuted, his body no longer under his control as he arches up once again, helpless to contain his reactions to the man between his legs. A keening whine fills the room, and it takes him a few moments to realise it is coming from him as he falls back and lets his body be stolen from him, eyes closed, hands carding through the leader’s hair.

Yunho gives equal attention to both nipples, laving the sensitive flesh, his hands roaming but his head is unable to move further than the newly minted rock idol’s chest for Jaejoong has his hands locked in his hair and is keeping him right where he wants him, his hips canting upwards over and over again to gain more friction, whining when rutting against Yunho’s abdomen brings him barely a measure of relief.

Eyes popping open, he tugs at Yunho. A fistful of hair makes for a painful demand for attention and Yunho gives it to him a hundred percent.

“Clothes…too many clothes.”

Yunho sits up, kneeling before the beautiful singer’s parted thighs, his gaze hot but concerned. Jaejoong looks debauched, his nipples reddened from his attention, his pale torso streaked with pink from his blunt nails, clothes pushed up to his neck, eyes heavy with lust and half-lidded, mouth slick and bottom lip chewed raw.

He is ready, but he is not sure if Jaejoong is.

It seems like he is, but he doesn’t want to force the man.

Forcing can come in many different ways, and driving the man insane with lust till he has no idea which way is up or how to protest may be considered a form of coercion too.

He doesn’t want it to be like before.

He doesn’t want any doubts between them.

He doesn’t want this to be a reenactment of their past without learning from their mistakes.

He doesn’t want them to be so driven with their need for each other, subsuming the other into themselves and forgetting that they are both their own individual person.

This is the final step and they need to take it together.

They need certainty because he believes had they been absolutely certain about each other all those years ago then perhaps they wouldn’t have crumbled from doubt.

Doubtful of each other without saying the words.

And the more painful and debilitating self-doubt and recrimination.

All the blame, both worthy or misplaced - this has no place in any relationship.

All the insecurities, and it isn’t just Jaejoong who suffers from them because he knows it himself that had he not been insecure, he wouldn’t have cast his love out the way he did.

Will I be enough for him?

Am I good enough for him?

Can he be happy with me knowing what people think of our relationship?

Is there a way for him to give Jaejoong what he needs in terms of recognition without throwing both of them under the bus to be run over by the judging masses?

The upright leader of TVXQ! knows he is over-thinking it, but this moment is too important to fuck up.

Leaning back and careful to maintain the eye contact lest Jaejoong thinks he is rejecting him, he takes the man’s hand and tugs him up.


Yunho smiles at the adorably confused expression on the singer, cheeks tinged pink with arousal contrasting so sharply with his pale skin he looks like he’d been overly rouged. He coaxes the man into standing up, a firm arm about his waist for his legs are unable to bear his weight for the moment. He tugs down the beautiful man’s crumpled clothing, smoothing it with one hand while the other keeps Jaejoong steady, before allowing the older man to lean heavily against him.

He bends his head and kisses the tip of the blond’s nose. “We’re jumping together.”


“This last step, we’re taking it together. Can you stand on your own?”

Jaejoong stares up at Yunho for the longest moment, confusion mixing with emotions dancing about his features as he searches Yunho’s face for answers. Though Changmin may not actually be their child, there is something to be said about the way both the oldest and youngest express themselves. The similarities between them sends a pang through Yunho’s heart, and he feels a pang of guilt for causing the youngest to lose his primary caregiver. That moment shows on his face though, even if for a moment, but it is caught.

The curse of singers, actors, idols.

Too many things are easily remembered out of habit.

“One day, you’re going to share what goes on in that head of yours,” Jaejoong utters softly, repeating verbatim the words the younger man had said to him on the night before that fateful Gwangju press conference, not really expecting an answer.

The Yunho of before might have kissed the beautiful lead singer and brushed it off. The Yunho of today makes a conscious decision not to.

“Your expression reminded me of Changmin and I felt guilty for separating you from him. He needed you and I took you away from him.” Yunho’s eyes take on a distant cast for a moment. “He was so strong, and he tried to be strong while I was grieving over my own failures. Sometimes when he got frustrated, he’d lash out like a teenager which isn’t too far off considering he was not long out of his teens when it all went to shit. He needed your soft touch. I didn’t know how to do it. I probably still don’t,” the leader admits ruefully, smiling softly as he does indeed bend his head to steal a kiss.

“I can teach you,” Jaejoong’s voice is hoarser than it should be, suddenly finding himself fighting the heat in his eyes.

“He won’t want it from me.”

“Then we should make sure he doesn’t lose it again.”

Yunho’s arm tightens around Jaejoong’s waist. “Are you ready then? To take this step?”

Understanding shows in those expressive doe eyes, and he nods. Taking a deep breath, his hands find purchase on Yunho’s arms, his biceps to be exact, the hard muscle under his fingers is making his cock twitch in his jeans but he ignores it.

“Give me one last kiss.”

Yunho’s brow furrows. “It’s not going to be a last kiss.”

Jaejoong’s smile is soft as he cocks his head and looks up at the taller man through his lashes. “It is…it’s the last kiss before we jump over the edge together.”

There is no hesitation.

They both lean in at the same time, their mouths are soft against each other’s, a little hesitant, before their mouths slant naturally, deepening the kiss, but it doesn’t have the taste of the kisses at the club.

Nor does it have the taste of the kisses of the past half hour.

It is a farewell - the bittersweet taste of goodbye.

A goodbye to the years they spent without the other.

A goodbye to the Yunho who would fight tooth and nail to protect his Jaejoong, but couldn’t protect the man from himself.

A goodbye to the Jaejoong who had promised to protect his Yunho from the big bad world, but couldn’t protect the man from himself.

There is a poignancy in the way they both know what the other wants, needs, their mouths contouring gently as if exploring the other for the first time and feeling a sense of wonder.

It is the sweetest kiss of a first greeting.

They are greeting each other as equals for the first time.

Not as hyung.

Not as leader.

They are Yunho and Jaejoong.

Both with their own separate careers, their separate lives, and their separate paths, with neither more important than the other.

And in that separateness is the conscious decision to be bound together despite it.

Jaejoong pulls back first, eyes filled with tears, one of which spills over to be captured by a gentle thumb caressing his cheek.

“Do you love Hero or Jaejoong?”

“Hero is a part of Jaejoong. They’re not separate.”

“Hero…not in this drama but the real one…the insecure rock idol who uses his appeal to get fans because he knows they like it. I know you hate it.”

Yunho shakes his head and takes a hand, kissing one knuckle at a time, still holding Jaejoong against him, eyes never leaving tearful ones. “I don’t hate it. If it’s something you feel you need, then I can learn to share.”

“Says the man who just threatened to leave kiss marks on me so I won’t perform topless on Saturday.”

“That was a joke.”

“I know.”

“I can’t force you to stop being insecure. I can’t stop you from being you. I can’t expect you to choose only me to give you what you need. We need different things from different people. But no matter what you need, I can provide you a safe place to return to. No judgment.”


“Well,” Yunho’s cupid bow is framed around a knuckle, his expression faintly musing. “I am human and I’ll probably feel a little judgmental maybe but I won’t take it out on you.”

“But you’ll talk to me about it right?”


“And I will try not to go crazy with jealousy when I can’t be with you.”

The leader hums, a smile once again tugging at his lips. “You can try…”

“You don’t think I can?”

“I believe in you.”

Jaejoong throws back his head and laughs helplessly. Tears do fall but they’re partially from mirth, he lifts a hand to cover his mouth, eyes sparkling, glistening still from the sheen of tears but there is true amusement in his eyes.

“I believe in me as much as you believe in me about this.”

“We’ll get there,” Yunho chuckles before sobering and turning serious. “Whatever it takes.”

Jaejoong presses a hand against Yunho’s chest, right over where his heart is meant to be. It beats true and firm and is extremely comforting to him. Dropping his head against the younger man’s shoulder, he curls his fingers, scratching lightly at that place over his heart before flattening out his hand and rubbing soothingly.

They stand in silence for a few minutes, both knowing they cannot go back for they have come too far.

“I don’t need you to protect me.”

Yunho’s pulse jumps at that and he feels Jaejoong nuzzling against his collarbone and he tilts his head up at the silent request and feels a soft kiss against the base of his throat.

“I—“ Yunho starts, a little uncertain. He knows its going to be terribly hard because it is literally a knee jerk impulse for him to protect all those he loves.

“Let me find my way ok?”

“What can I do to help?”

“You don’t need to do anything. Just be my safe place like you said. I already feel safe with you,” Jaejoong admits quietly, realising it is the truth. He does feel safe in Yunho’s arms, more than any other place or space. Nothing can happen to Kim Jaejoong with Yunho wrapped around him and even if that was ripped from him three years ago, and the trust shaken and lost, he feels it again and he believes in it.

“You’ll always be safe with me.”

AN: Unlike some other fans, I am unable to offer you my shoulder or my DM or my inbox because this event is extremely triggering for me. However, I am able to offer you my words here and I hope it is enough for now. Thank you for reading. Next chapter is 24 and we should end at 25…(ICE had 25 chapters and I wonder if this fic is longer…)

  • 1
"Yunhot" made me smile.

Also, I'm so happy that they've finally managed to work things out.

Thank you for this Nikki.

First of all thank you for the update. But to be honest I didn't read the whole chapter cause I m still in sorrow. I don't know him cause for me the Kpop is only about DBSK. Aside them I don't know any other groups. But to know that he suffered in such a young age till he decided to end his life shocked me. I was upset when Cobain committed suicide. Though I was his fan, his suicide didn't effect me as much as Jonghyun's. But this time it hit me hard. Enough ranting, life goes on, will go on. Again thank you for the update

The past few days has been tough for me, and I'm not even a Shawol.. I really can't imagine how his family and loved ones are feeling right now. Thank you for sharing this Nicki, reading this has made me feel a little bit better.

Hehehe same. Yunhot make me grinning.
Thank you Nikki for the update.
Reading and music always give me a distraction I need.
We'll be okay.

Hello! Your entry got to top-25 of the most popular entries in LiveJournal!
Learn more about LiveJournal Ratings in FAQ.

thank you for writing and posting this today
reading this makes me relax a bit and take my mind off the pain

2 more chapters and ending or should i hope for 25 a b cdefg......?! :DDD i'm gonna miss it, it's been a long amazing trip
thank you again so much!!

Thank you for this, it gave me some happiness in the midst of this sorrow.

reading yj fics, specifically yours ^^, is my form of therapy.. i got myself out from a decade long but bad relationship, got sick, been depressed, i thought im doing ok for months and then jjong happened.. im not a fan but it hit me hard.. 'been crying for 2 days now and it hurts knowing it could've been me.. yj fics and tv5xq music helped me cope, seriously.. thanks for updating authornim, i needed this.. ^^

It took me two days to finish this, loved it as always though. The tension between Jaejoong and Yunho across a room lol I can imagine it clearly. It was sweet too, lots of feels <3 I'm glad they are moving forward together, and they are so certain this time. Gosh, my heart... I love this fic. Thanks for the update, hope you're feeling better /hugs/

Loved everything ,this fic is pure love,so palpable.
Thank you,Nikki

Yunhot. Lol he sure is.

I think i'm addicted to yunjae's kissing.. (i couldn't think other than that after reading this)

Thank you for this beautiful chap ❤

Edited at 2017-12-24 01:25 am (UTC)

Wow! The tension is so thick here but in a good way. At least they are now standing strong together and nothing can go against them.

thank you.

whst happened had shocked us all and i'm one of the fans who watched SHINee debut and grow up before my eyes even if i ended up being a cassie instead of a shawol. but i do have a special place in my heart for SHINee and what happened to jjong hurts. it hurts still, but i'm doing better everyday.

reading this helps and for that thank you. we all have different ways to cope and of course, not everyone can lend their ears to listen. this is just how we go about moving on from that tragedy.

yunho and jaejoong, i think, have come full circle. they are now together but in a deeper sense than they were before. because now they understand more about each other and treat each other as equals. it will still be a long and challenging road but together and with the others, they will be able to watch forward.

i'm glad that yunho decided to not brush off jaejoong's statement about his thoughts. that's telling me that both of them really are ready to move forward together.

again, thank you for this. reading this made me feel lighter and better.

This chapter is a smooth transition to a new beginning. Wonderful!

they both have come so far and very much grown up emotionally and psychologically. all will be all right for both of them. everything will fall in the right its right place. i'm looking forward to the years-of-waiting happy ending.

When will you be able to finish this?

I read all the chapters again and I just love that this story exists. I really miss yunjae and this story. Thank You so much for writing this and no matter if this will ever be finished or not it is still such a gift and legacy for the Yunjae fandom. I know no better fanfic author than you...even after all these years (7 years in the fandom)I still haven't found anyone better. Even as I've read stories of other pairings -nothing can ever really compare. Following your writings for 6 years has been a great journey! ♥️

  • 1