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...innocence is just an illusion...


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Jejuko [14/15]
YJ01
beeswaxing
Title: Jejuko
Pairing: YunJae + side!YooSu
Rating: PG-13 - R
Length: Chaptered
Genre: AU, fluff, romance
Warning: Gender switch
Disclaimer: I don't own anything apart from the story. I wish I had YunJae and if I had my way, they'd move to New Zealand so they can be civil-unionised here :P
Summary: How far will Jaejoong go to catch the attention of kingka, Jung Yunho?

AN1: I feel like I need to duck rotten vegetables or something after the last chapter OTL

AN2: Unbeta-ed... One more chapter left to go... I think I might cry.








“What’s up, stranger?” A heavy hand claps Yunho unnecessarily hard on the shoulder.

Yunho turns to squint against the sun, framing the person behind him. “Junsu?”

“Yes, it’s me. What? You don’t recognise your own best friend anymore? Too wrapped up in your new best friend?”

Junsu takes a seat on the bench next to Yunho, his face carefully blank. He is on a mission from Micky, the man asking him to see if he can get anything out of Yunho about Jaejoong and Jejuko. He frowns to himself as he remembers the beautiful girl appearing as if out of nowhere over the weekend, and whisking Yunho away to god only knows where. Micky is oddly reticent about the whole thing, claiming a headache, leaving Junsu to amuse himself that Saturday night. In fact, he barely sees Yunho all week, the man barely coming home and it is now Friday. He gets the feeling that Yunho is avoiding him, even though he himself is quite deliciously occupied by his new boyfriend.

And it is just last night that his gorgeous new boyfriend brings up Yunho. He knows he’s been hanging out with Micky a lot. He is falling slowly but surely for the man who seems to be the perfect foil for himself. But he truly misses his friend, and every time he looks up, it seems like he is with Jaejoong, and every time Junsu approaches, Yunho somehow manages to steer them away. This is the first time in almost a week that he’s been able to catch Yunho alone.

Yunho sighs, shaking his head at his friend. “Don’t be stupid, Junsu. Joongie is not my best friend. I don’t want him as my best friend.”

“Joongie?”

Yunho rubs his eyes wearily, “Yeah, Joongie. Jaejoong. It’s just easier for me to work it out in my head when I call him that and he seems to like it.”

“You’re being very strange. Cryptic even. The Yunho I knew was never like this. What is going on?”

Junsu’s confusion is evident in his voice and his face is starting to take on a kicked puppy look.

“I miss my best friend. Where did he go? We used to talk about everything and this week it’s all been about Jaejoong for you. I mean, I like the guy and I know you like him too and Micky adores the ever loving fuck out of him, but you’ve changed, and I don’t know if I like it.”

Yunho sighs again, taking in the forlorn look on his friend’s face. How is he supposed to answer him? The truth? Can he trust his friend? He takes a deep breath, internally bracing himself for a possible argument.

“I love him.”

To say that Junsu is shocked might be an understatement. His jaw drops open, as he stares at Yunho in disbelief. In fact, he sits there staring at Yunho for so long that drool actually collects in the corner of his open mouth, and drips down.

Yunho, who has been staring back at Junsu, refusing to look away, has to chuckle at the sight. His laughter breaks the staring contest as Junsu lifts a hand to wipe away at the line of drool.

“Are you serious?”

“As a heart attack,” comes the corny answer.

“Oh my god, you are serious. You don’t get cheesy unless you’re serious. Oh my god, Yunho. What the fuck? What about that girl, Jejuko? Haven’t you seen her a couple of times? She’s fucking gorgeous. Wait, are you two-timing her? Two-timing him? Yoochun is going to be so mad with you! Wait, wait, wait, what the hell?!”

Yunho shrugs, letting his friend speak, knowing it’s easier to let Junsu get it all out without interruption.

Junsu rambles on, still in a mild state of shock.

“Seriously? What the actual fuck? I know you’ve been with Jejuko this past weekend. Hell, I saw her myself getting all up in your face and the two of you disappearing. Where the hell did you go? What’s up with that? Fuck. And to think you were sending everyone running with your ridiculous show of possessiveness over Jaejoong during the football match. What are you playing at? Yoochun is not one to be messed with when he’s angry. He loves Jaejoong to death, and Jejuko is his damn cousin. I don’t know if I’ll help save you once he gets his hands on you. And I rather like Jejuko too. She’s sweet.”

Yunho cocks an eyebrow at all the swearing. It is a good indication as to how upset his best friend is because he rarely swears. He stares at Junsu, waiting to see if he’s finished. He hasn’t.

“Come on! I know Jaejoong is pretty. Hell, I remember mistakenly thinking he was a girl several times. You’re in love with him? What about Jejuko? Jejuko’s a girl. A nice girl. Not a boy who looks like a girl! Actually, Jaejoong doesn’t look like a girl anymore with his new hair. Oh, and Jejuko cut her hair too. She looks cute with short hair. It suits her. Wait, rewind! So you’re in love with Jaejoong? Seriously? Fucking hell, this is a mess. If you love him, why the fuck did you go off with Jejuko last weekend? Are you fucking serious?”

“As a heart — “

“Yes, I know, I know!” Junsu cuts Yunho off. “As a fucking heart attack. You need to start from the top, man. I’m finding this really hard to believe.”

This is it. Time for the truth. Yunho recalls that Friday exactly a week ago, after finding Yoochun in bed with Jaejoong, and the anger and jealousy he feels. He was surprised that Jaejoong chose to switch back to Jejuko the next day, but grateful all the same to be absolutely certain that Jejuko is indeed Jaejoong, and that his feelings are for the man and not the gorgeous girl. The haircut and colour gave her away this time, along with confirmation Yunho already has from his research about the existence of Switch. He knows everything there is to know about the drug, even its side effects, which Jaejoong seems rather susceptible to. Yunho now carries Tylenol wherever he goes.

“I want you to close your eyes and think about Jaejoong. Picture him in your head. Done that?”

Junsu nods, his eyes shut, his brow furrowed, uncertain as to where this is going.

“Who does he remind you of?”

Junsu’s answer comes quickly. “He looks like Jejuko. I think they may be related, seeing how Yoochun is close to both of them.” Junsu’s eyes fly open at that, as he stares at Yunho in horror. “WHAT THE FUCK? YOU CANNOT DATE THEM BOTH!”

Yunho chuckles humourlessly. “Don’t worry, I’m not. Well, I am, but I’m not.”

Junsu’s face is starting to look grim. “What the hell, man. This is no longer funny. I know you’re a bit of a player but that’s all for show and we both know it. At least I thought I did. Who the hell are you and what have you done with my best friend? I never thought you’d stoop to two-timing.”

“Jaejoong is Jejuko.”

The silence is extreme. It is as if the very air has stilled after Yunho’s statement. No twittering birds, no wind, no leaves rustling. Just. Dead. Silence. Yunho feels like Mother Nature is playing a joke on him because surely this is a tad melodramatic.

Junsu blinks at Yunho who stares back, unflinching. They stare each other for a few minutes, each unwilling to break the other’s gaze. Junsu’s brain is working overtime, putting pieces together over the last two weeks.

“How did I not see this?” Junsu finally says, breaking the silence, exhaling forcefully, his cheeks puffing out as his teardrop eyes are wide on Yunho.

“You’re not surprised?”

“I am, yet I’m not. It’s hard to explain. Jejuko came across as a little skittish to me, like she wasn’t quite comfortable with her body, and her mannerisms are almost identical to Jaejoong’s now that I think back on it. And Micky…fuck. He knows doesn’t he?”

Yunho nods in affirmation. He is comforted by Junsu’s memory. He may not be the most stereotypically intelligent person in the world, but he is certainly handy when it comes to remembering details.

“But, how? Why?”

“I don’t know why, but I do know how. Have you heard of Switch?”

Junsu shakes his head, so Yunho proceeds to fill in his friend on the details of the drug.

“So do you love Jejuko or Jaejoong? I’m confused. This drug sounds like it’s doing bad things to him. He should probably stop taking it.”

Yunho nods vigorously. “I agree. I’m trying to figure out how to confront him about this but I’m worried as to how he’ll take it.”

“Why? Shouldn’t he be worried about you being mad at him for tricking you?”

“About that…” Yunho rubs the back of his neck uncomfortably. “I knew Jejuko was Jaejoong the night of the contest….”

Junsu’s face betrays his thoughts as the implications of what Yunho has just said dawns on him. His face is a comical picture of disbelief with a healthy dash of horror, and Yunho would laugh if he didn’t feel like it would lead to tears. A sense of hysteria is bubbling up, and he has to temp it down.

“You slept with Jejuko, knowing she’s Jaejoong. Holy mother of all fucks. Yunho, I don’t even know where to start. This is a bigger mess than I thought.”

“Would it make you feel better if I told you I haven’t slept with her since?”

“Not really.”

Yunho winces as he hears the disappointment in Junsu’s voice. “I thought not….”

“What were you thinking?”

“I wasn’t. I was just letting her take the lead. I swear I did nothing to initiate anything. I told you!”

“She’s a virgin, Yunho.”

“Wh-what?” Yunho stutters, completely shocked.

Junsu nods, “Yoochun just told me yesterday, which is why I came looking for you actually because I wanted to ask what the hell you’re doing. Jaejoong…Jejuko is…was a virgin.”

“But…there was no barrier. She wasn’t in any pain! We did it three times in two hours!”

Junsu rolls his eyes at Yunho’s inability to put the pieces together.

“She is not actually a girl. The drug can only change so much. In fact, the mechanics of this is so ridiculous and I’m still a little in awe at how it is possible but it obviously doesn’t reconstruct something that was never there in the first place! Let’s not even go into how this so-called barrier is not even a reliable indicator for virginity, but that’s a conversation for another day. Jejuko may not be a virgin anymore, but Jaejoong sure as hell still is! Unless there’s something else you’re not telling me?”

Yunho’s eyeballs are practically popping out of his eye sockets. He is staring at Junsu with so much horror and mortification that Junsu decides to give him some good news. At least, he hopes it is good news. He is at least certain that he is right.

“Jaejoong wanted you. He gave his virginity to you willingly. What does that tell you, Yunho?”

“Fuck…”

“What are you going to do? How can I help?”

Yunho stares gratefully at his friend who is patting his arm comfortingly, his eyes full of concern.

“I’m going to end this tonight. Jejuko emailed about ten minutes before you arrived and mentioned wanting to meet tonight, and I haven’t seen Joongie all day so maybe that has something to do with it. I don’t know what the fall out is going to be, but if he rejects me, you’re going to have to pick up the pieces.”

“Why would he reject you? His feelings are clearly pretty strong to go to such lengths to get to you.”

“I don’t know what he’s thinking anymore. I try and show him that I love him as Jaejoong. As a man. I mean, I’ve done everything short of kissing him up to this point, and he just seems completely oblivious. So maybe he doesn’t really want me as me. I’m confused. It was really strange hanging out with him as Jejuko because all I could think of was how I wished she was Jaejoong. And she was but she wasn’t. Fucking hell this is a mess.”

Yunho’s fists clench, and he pounds the table in frustration with one of them.

“I’ll talk to Micky. Maybe he can help.”

“No, don’t talk to him about this. Not yet. But if you must say something, just please tell him I love Joongie, not Jejuko.”

xoxx



“Jaejoong, no! I’m not giving you anymore! You’ve been getting these headaches regularly and you’ve never suffered from any form of head pain before. You haven’t slept in the last 24 hours because of your almost constant head pain! Enough is enough. I’m putting my foot down!”

Yoochun actually stamps his foot to emphasise his point. They are standing in his room, Jaejoong across the way by the dresser, and him by his desk. They are both glaring at each other, refusing to budge.

“I need this, Yoochun. I am going absolutely insane with want. He will never sleep with Jaejoong, but he will sleep with Jejuko. I love him, but this is killing me. I am dying each time I cannot touch him the way I want. I just want to touch him, Yoochun. I just want to be able to run my hands up his body, to kiss him when I want, to hold him against me. Is that so much to ask?”

Jaejoong droops at the end of his monologue, leaning heavily against the wall next to the dresser as he closes his eyes, and sinks to the floor.

“I love him so much, but I can’t touch him. You have no idea how much that hurts. It fucking hurts. You don’t understand. Junsu wants you for you but me…what am I? I’m a fucking freak. Why was I born a boy with a face like this? Why? Just fuck. Fuck. I hate this so fucking much.”

Yoochun has to play hard ball. He really cannot take this any more, not with the new information he’d received barely an hour ago. He injects some hardness into his voice, wincing at having to do it, but he needs Jaejoong to come to his senses.

“Is this all about sex then? Huh? You just want to have sex with him? Are you sure you love him? Because I feel like I don’t know you anymore. Don’t give me the bullshit about touching because we both know that’s a lie. It’s you who chooses not to touch him the way you want. Yunho has no such inhibitions. He touches you all the fucking time. Are you so blind that you think it’s normal for a supposedly straight man to hold another man by the waist? To grab his hand every opportunity he gets? To rub your thigh at any excuse? To literally drape himself all over you every chance he gets?”

Yunho always tries to find excuses to touch Jaejoong. His obstinate best friend writes the little and not-so-little touches off as accidental, or attributes it to Yunho’s tactile personality. But Yoochun, looking back and seeing them through the lens of his newly acquired information, now believes differently. Yunho wants to touch Jaejoong. In fact, he cannot seem to leave the man alone, always touching some part of Jaejoong when they’re together. It is almost like a compulsion, like he cannot help it. Like he needs it. He remembers what Jaejoong said last weekend about Yunho being his air. Jaejoong is Yunho’s air too. Even without Junsu’s assurances, he now realises that Yunho is just as much in love with Jaejoong as the latter is with Yunho. Their friendship has grown over the last couple of weeks, especially since Yunho is doing a good impression of being Jaejoong’s shadow, and it is a joy for Yoochun to watch his friend blossom under their campus kingka’s attention.

“Come on, Jae. You know I’m speaking the truth. Why won’t you see? Why won’t you end this?”

Yoochun watches Jaejoong deflate right before his eyes. He is perilously close to tears, but refuses to give in to them. He started this mess and he has to fix it somehow. Junsu’s confession earlier about knowing that Jaejoong is Jejuko has shaken him. Jaejoong is the only one left unaware that Yunho knows of the deception. Yoochun chuckles bitterly at that. Deception? It is just a little confusing as to whom is deceiving who now. He desperately hopes both men come out of this unscathed. He knows Yunho loves Jaejoong as Junsu has assured him of this, and he trusts him. But his painfully, and possibly willfully, blind best friend will never believe that. He is too caught up in the idea of Jejuko, believing that Yunho will only want Jejuko. He shakes his head at how stubborn his friend has been. It is completely irrational and anyone watching them can see it. Yunho’s display of possessiveness did not stop at the football game. He’s seen them together that week and the way he holds Jaejoong, especially around other males has the clear aura of MINE all over it. Even girls stay away.

He sits on the bed, deep in thought, as he eyes his friend sitting disconsolately on the floor, hugging his knees, and hiding his face in his arms. The soft sniffles he hears betrays the boy who is trying to stifle his tears. He cannot take it anymore. He really needs to fix this and hopes that Yunho means what he says, and that he’ll end this deception tonight somehow.

He gets up off the bed and crouches down next to Jaejoong, putting his arm around his shaking shoulders, squeezing him tightly to his side as he presses his mouth against his ear.

“One more, Jae. And no more. I am flushing every single fucking pill down the toilet. You need to end this tonight because if you don’t, I will.”









AN: I don’t know about you but I’m seriously just a tad upset that this fic is ending. I started this on a whim in May and my muse has been fickle, coming and going and being all up a little difficult. But the last couple of days have been somewhat smooth and I’m actually sad because of it. I read chapters 7-9 last night just out of curiosity after a comment I received on chapter 9 and I’m really going to miss this fic. I was kinda sad too after Slept So Long but since this one is over twice the size of that fic, I’m a lot more attached to it somehow. I hope you’ve enjoyed the ride so far and I cannot thank all of you enough for taking a chance with this fic because I know it’s not everyone’s cup of tea. Hell, it’s not even my cup of tea. I think I’m totally going to cry at the end of the next chapter TT_________TT




Next - 15



WAE!!!!!! yoochun is a goner when it comes to jae; he can never ever stand up to him! and jae- you started this mess, and now you are the one whose caught so deep in it..

i just cant wait to read the finale now..ppalli ppalli please ^__^

TT.TT I don't want this fic to end TT.TT I need more Jae with gender issues he is so sad and cute (yeah I like when Jaejoong suffers even if he is my bias... I love that my biases to suffer in the fics OTL)

I was a little confuse when Junsu and Yuhno started talking about that Jejuk appeared during weekend and all that stuff I was wait wait rewind... Who long has been since the JaeChun bed thing...

I still have a bad feeling about the headaches... I know I said I love when Jae suffers but... he deserves a happy ending with a fantastic, hard, sexy, wild, sweet, full of music like darkness eyes and running up that hill, romantic and passionate Smut...


I really... really love this fic TT.TT I think that is in my TOP 5 favorites fics that I would re-read and re-read...


Meeeeep. gonna come back later when I'm finished studying chem ;-;~

... omg Yoochun should have just flushed all the pills down the toilet a long time ago!
lol Junsu is so cute /squishes.
Guuh Jaejoong you make me feel so annoyed for the first time.......

I love the way this is going. And Yunho needs to end this and Jae needs to get his sight checked. Maybe his mind too ;)

GAHHHH TT .. yes Yoochun don't give Jae anymore of that switch TT Omg I don't want this fic to end at all x.x

I think I'm going to cry in the last chapter.
I've got this feeling.

Yunho is really a smart boy to figure out Jejuko was Jaejoong from day one.
I love him for not pushing this relationship but rather letting Jaejoong take the lead.
I think if Yunho was pushy and confronted Jaejoong, Jaejoong might just be more firm in his delusion that Yunho likes him as a girl and not a guy.

Seriously I hope Yoochun knows what he is doing giving that pill to Jaejoong.

Why on earth is Jaejoong the delusional one?
First it seems like Jaejoong is deceiving Yunho to get him but now it seems more like Jaejoong is deceiving himself that Yunho wants a girl and not a guy.


I'm so enjoying it so much!!!
It makes me sad too that it is going to end *sobs*
The persistent Jaejoong how can anyone being able to resist him once he cries? Low chance I guess lol

It would be nice if you could make the one shot or more than that sequel.l because I'm so in lov3 with this fic too >

Please add more chapters. ;; Huuuuu 15 chapters is like... short.

Oh my! One more chapter! It's okay man, I'll cry too when this fic ends ;A; this has been my favorite YunJae story since the very first chapter. You're actual perfection and your humor and diction is amazing. I can't wait for the next one, but I'm dreading it at the same time. Do your best :D see you next time!

if i were yoochun, i would have flushed those pills a long time ago. jae's obviously suffering from side effects and is turning delusional. at this point, he's just enabling jae to further construct this illusion that yunho is straight and wants a woman. this is not the basis of a healthy relationship at all. at this point, he's become so enveloped is his delusions that he can't even see yunho for what he is. at this point, he can't even really say it's yunho he's in love with, it's a concept of yunho that he's built. it's unfair to both of them and he should really take time to reevaluate himself before diving into a relationship built on delusions, insecurities, and deception.

I'm not usually into gender bender fics but yours was so well thought out. Poor Jaejoong is so blinded by how much Yunho loves him that it makes Yunho himself doubt Jaejoong's feelings for him. It makes me sad that there is only one chapter left in the story with Jaejoong having, I feel, so many insecurities about Yunho's feelings for him but hopefully Yunho will remedy that and explain how he knew from the beginning. Even if 15 is the last chapter, am is it too much to hope for an epilogue? Anyways, I can't wait to see how you wrap this all up! :D

*SMACKS YOOCHUN'S GINORMOUS FOREHEAD*
THE FUCK YOOCHUN STOP BEING A PUSHOVER! *KICKS AND SMACKS THEM BOTH*

Is it one chapter left enough to end this all messy things? What's with Jae anyway.. He's too obsession with the drugs. Scary.. *sobs*

YunHo ah... Come help Umma palli

2 chapter updates within a few hours, I should count my lucky stars tonight!

Ah with regards to this chapter ending, I can't help feeling a little sad that there will only be the last chapter to look foward to since this fic is really one of its kind. I love it like no other. Having said that, I'm glad that I'll be able to re-read it as much as I like, from beginning to end :) And I have absolute faith that you will come up with another fic just as beautiful and enjoyable as this.

Your characters are just so... yum.

junsu is so funny with his ramblings.
im so upset with jae but i guess he needa this to see a clearer picture

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