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All skin and no shame

...innocence is just an illusion...

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November sucks

Nineteen years.

It's not yet the 11th in England which is what really matters I guess but it's the 11th here and i'm going to turn my phone off because I really don't want to deal with my dad and his guilt tripping over this day all over again. Every single fucking year it's the same.

If it weren't for you she'd still be here.

Mama must have the patience of a saint to deal with this. I never thought about it before but I kinda admire her just a little bit more because if you give me crap from so far away, chances are she's getting the brunt of it.

And every single year my birthday is ruined. People wonder why I don't like celebrating my birthday and well, how do you celebrate when your mother passed away four days before your 6th birthday?

I'm cranky. I get cranky from the 11th right up till the 15th lol. Birthday blues, memory blues, everything blues.

My husband is out on an overnight youth camp thing and I got a lot of writing done today because he wasn't home but now I want him home cos I need someone to cheer me up.


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I don't have much to say, but I don't think that you're pathetic at all. I wish your OH could come back to you soon, since I'm miles away and probably totally incapable of being the kind of personal support that a person often needs whenever he/she undergoes such a negative situation. But, although I'm miles away from you, I do hope that you realize that I am also here for you in my own...little Anne way. :) If you need someone to talk to, or if you need any help, I'm here!

ILY, and may these dark days go away as soon and smoothly as possible. ^^ <3

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