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...innocence is just an illusion...

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Gayo Daejun [Epilogue]
Title: Gayo Daejun [Epilogue]
Pairing: YunJae
Rating: PG
Length: Three-shot
Genre: Angst, non-AU
Disclaimer: I don't own anything apart from the story. I wish I had YunJae and if I had my way, they'd move to New Zealand so they can be civil-unionised here :P
Summary: The lawsuit is over. All that is left are two parts of a whole, fighting for their own survival, and fighting against each other. Forgetting is impossible, forgiving is another matter altogether. Time heals all wounds they say. But this wound…

AN: I am usually a pretty stealthy OT5, moving under the radar, but I guess it’s been itching and dying to burst out. As my twin would say, Always Keep The Fish ;-)

Part 1 Three Years Later…
Part 2 Still In Love…
Part 3 A Thousand Years...

“Hyung…are you sure this is a good idea?” Changmin whispers as they sneak backstage. Looking at the two tall men, you’d think they’re in the middle of some clandestine operation, but in reality, they are backstage at the Gayo Daejun, about to pull something that will either make or break them.

“It will be ok, Min-ah. Trust me.”

“I trust you, hyung… it’s just…”

Yunho turns around, staring at the maknae who is looking extremely young and vulnerable all of a sudden, and he feels his heart tug in sorrow. He is sure they will come out of this reasonably unscathed, but in the eagerness and heat of the moment, not to mention the meticulous planning and all the secret squirrel activity going on with the top PDs of the program whose asses are also on the line, he momentarily forgets that he is responsible for this young man. The young man who had stayed with him throughout this whole unfortunate situation. Changmin, caught between a rock and a hard place, is now being put in the same position, and by none other than his leader.

“You don’t trust them?”

Changmin’s face falls, the pain evident as he takes a deep breath and shakes his head. “No, it’s not that. It’s just…if this doesn’t work, I don’t know if I can go on.”

Yunho takes a step forward and gathers the younger man who looks close to tears in his arms, sighing softly as he nuzzles his fragrant hair as the maknae buries his nose in his neck, arms tightening around him, squeezing Yunho hard. He rubs his hand up and down his bare back, their costume is marginally inappropriate for what is about to happen, but they have already pushed their luck as it is, and requesting a costume change without a proper reason will raise questions that they are not prepared to answer.

“Yunho-ssi. Changmin-ssi. Hurry.” A man wearing a large headset and weird goggles, seems to materialise out of nowhere, his mouth twisted down in worry as he eyes the two tall men still caught in an embrace that might be viewed a little too close. But he knows better, and he knows to keep his mouth shut.

Changmin breaks away first, stepping back and smiling ruefully. He lifts a hand and wipes at some wetness on Yunho’s neck where his tears have fallen, while Yunho does the same to his face. They both stare at each other, before his leader speaks.

“It’s ok to cry Changmin-ah.”

“I don’t want to do it onstage.”

“It’s ok. I’m not going to hide and neither should you. We’ve all hidden for far too long. It’s time to take a step into the light.”

Changmin laughs nervously, rotating his neck, loud cracking sounds can be heard, and he laughs more genuinely at Yunho who winces at the awful sound.

“The light, hyung? Jaejoong hyung always brings out the cheesiness in you. You sound like we’re all going to die and go to heaven or something.”

“At least we’ll all be together…”


“Yunho-ssi, they will be done in about fifteen seconds. Please hurry.” The man who had interrupted them earlier urges as he hands both of them microphones.

Out of curiousity, Changmin flips his microphone, and his eyes fill once again at the sight.

The man who had given him the microphone must have seen it because he steps closer and whispers, “When the lights go down, we will change all their microphones too.”

Yunho nods as Changmin sniffles again, and they both hurry after the man. They can hear the sound swell from the crowd as the lights all suddenly dim. They both go onstage in almost absolute darkness, their only cues are from the man leading them. He is the only one who can see at this stage as he is wearing night vision goggles. That is how dark it is in the great hall.

Changmin feels the man position him, and then presses a palm to his shoulder to indicate that he should stop. Unable to resist, he reaches out blindly with his right hand, and he meets an equally searching hand in the darkness. It is clammy, and that actually makes Changmin feel oddly better. If the man belonging to the other hand is nervous, then it is ok for Changmin to be nervous too. They hold hands in the gloom as the crowd gets louder, wondering what is going on.

And then a pure voice, filled with love, hope, and every emotion he has ever felt all jumbled up pours out, breaking through the darkness and silencing the crowd in an instance. They are silent from shock, more than anything else, and everyone hushes.

Yozora ni… ukanda… hoshi ga moji wo egaki dasu no wa…

Unaccompanied by music, and perfectly in tune, his voice is strong even though his hand wavers and his legs shake. A single beam of light illuminates Junsu as he sings into the darkness, his eyes shining, his heart filling.

Guzen… ja nai to… ima mo mada… shinjiteru yo…

Yoochun is already in tears, but he manages to sing somehow though the waver in his voice can be heard. He is standing slightly forward, in front of Junsu. He doesn’t turn to look at his fellow group member, instead staring straight out into the darkness, another single beam of light illuminating him as he sings.

Onaji yami no naka de… onaji kyori no mama de…

When the light beams down on Jaejoong, there is a collective gasp from the crowd. Two single tear tracks run down his cheeks and they are drying, but the look in his eyes is not of sadness as Jaejoong stares defiantly out into the darkness. He is standing in line with Junsu, and Cassiopeia and non-Cassiopeia alike start to cry when they see his face, if they are not already.

Daburu wo egaki tsuzukete iru

Three voices meld together effortlessly, soaring into the darkness, uncaring, unseeing, only singing for two people. Their voices are their instrument, and the crowd is silent, in their awe and tears.

Somewhere among the tables of idols, a particular group of five are staring at the stage as if mesmerised. A quiet whisper by the maknae of the group to his leader goes unheard by all but the one it is intended for.

“Are they really closing the show?”

The reply is quick, although a telltale clearing of the throat is needed before a response is given.

“I’m sure there’s more.”

“You mean…?”


“I don’t think anyone is going to remember our performance.”

“I don’t think even I will remember our performance after this. It’ll be MKMF 2008 all over again.”

“Does it bother you?”

“They deserve it.”

Kimi ni mitsukaru youni… motto kagayaku kara…

Junsu, Yoochun and Jaejoong sing together again, without the accompaniment of music, the entire auditorium is so quiet apart from the harsh sobbing of many broken hearted fangirls, and even some idols.

Keep in mind that we love you…

A fourth beam of light illuminates the stage, and the stunned gasps of the crowd is the only sound as everyone gapes at Changmin, singing shakily, the English words rolling perfectly off his tongue.


The screams.

The wall of sound that hits the stage when the fifth beam of light shines down upon U-Know Yunho, leader of TVXQ, the only one who isn’t crying, yet the perfection of the meaning, the way he adlibs and drags out the single word, perfectly on pitch, and the expression on his face as he sings it, starts utter chaos in the cold auditorium. Even idols are screaming, everyone finding their voices at last after the initial shock of seeing Changmin.

There is a long pause. The five men simply standing there, gazing into the darkness, letting the tidal wave of almost deafening screams wash over them. Unknown to them, backstage, security guards are having a devil of a time trying to stop executives from both SM Entertainment and C-JeS from storming the stage. But they are under strict instructions, and they intend to see it through. No one will be going onto that stage.

When the screaming finally dies down a little, but loud, extremely loud sobbing can still be heard from every corner of the room, Jaejoong’s lips twitch as he lifts his microphone to his mouth.

Itsuka aeru kara

His voice is so pure, as he turns to his left, completely in sync with the two tall men who also turn towards him as one.

Me wo tojiru tabi kimi wo omou

They had meticulously divided up the lyrics, and Yunho and Changmin sing as one, facing Jaejoong, both smiling when Junsu and Yoochun also turn towards them.

You’re everything…

And the music finally starts, as Junsu and Yoochun’s voices blend seamlessly, no falter in either of them, the English words conveying a wealth of emotion as they stare at the leader and maknae of TVXQ.

Kimi ga irukotoga…imamo mada atarimae nandayo

The music changes, rearranged especially for this performance, as the current “official” members of TVXQ finish their line. They turn back to the audience and more beams of light hit them, lights joining all five of them in their standing positions, and a camera from above beams the view to the live audience watching from around the world on various streaming sites, and those who understand scream first, before those in the hall itself finally see what it is that everyone else is seeing, as the large screen behind them finally lights up, showing an aerial view of the five men onstage.



Standing as five, standing as one, they form the constellation. The screaming which had quietened down somewhat starts all over again, and pretty much everyone in the hall are on their feet. The music swells, reaching up and out, and the camera pans back to the men at stage level, from left to right. All five lift their microphones and the numbers glint in the light.






Keep in mind that we love you…

And for the first time in almost three years, five voices sing as one on stage, dedicating their words to the shattered and broken fandom that stuck to them all whether individually, separately, or as a whole. It doesn’t matter to them though, because despite the cracks, they are still family.

Four out of the five drop their microphones, their eyes shining as they turn to their leader, who turns to look at all four, pausing to take in the features of all of them; from Junsu’s flamboyant hair, to Yoochun’s handsome look courtesy of his drama, to Changmin’s hopeful expression, and then to Jaejoong.

Jaejoong whose eyes tell him he can do anything and be anything.

His Jaejoong.

Always his.

Forever his.


And the light dims, till once again it goes out completely. It is deafening in the hall, and no one can see the five men hugging each other onstage, Changmin in the middle of the embrace, each one of his hyungs convincing him with their words and touch that everything will be ok.

He believes them.


“Did you punish them?”

“I gave them the next three days off and told them to stay out of the public eye.”

The executive, slightly fazed by the man’s words, changes the subject.

“Have you heard about the album sales?”

“That everything and anything TVXQ and JYJ that have been released since their debut is sold out throughout South Korea and Japan? That Mirotic is once again the #1 selling album today, over four years after it came out? That news?”


There is a pregnant silence as the standing man watches the snow fall gently over the city, all but ignoring the executive standing behind him shifting nervously on his feet, unsure as to what to say or do. The slightly frazzled man finally speaks up when the silence gets too much for him.

“Where are they? I’ve just been to the dorm and they are not there.”

Kim Young Min stares out of the window and down on the streets below, recalling the phone call he had gotten last night from his mentor. A stern “suggestion” to leave them alone. He had been there at 3am in the morning, bundling Yunho and Changmin into a nondescript black van borrowed by Yoochun and driven by Jaejoong.

“They’ve gone home.”

AN1: Trust me when I say I know how exceedingly cliche this is, but I had a dream and I just wanted to see it through. Unfortunately for me, my dream is not going to make me millions like that Twilight author lol!

AN2: Any guesses on who the group is in the middle of the story that cameo-d? Lol ;-)


This is so wonderful and I seriously want this to happen in real life, heck, with or without the Yunjae is fine, but this sort of reunion, I want, and oh my everything-that's-out-there, I am not making sense right now, but argh, this is so wonderful, and, an-


Be right back while I create a second Nile.

(But honestly, truly, this made me want to cry. It's so wonderful, so beautiful, so perfect. Thank you so much for writing this piece of art!)

PS: Is the group that made a quick short appearance SHINee? ;D

By the way, I forgot to add that I love the ending. It's just so perfect. Kim Young Min finally letting HoMin go back home to where they truly belong, with JYJ. The inevitable news that everything that TVXQ/JYJ had released was immediately sold out all across South Korea and Japan. And I just love how you wrote that Mirotic, which is my favorite album by them, is now the top selling album again after four years. Just, gah. <3

PS: Or Big Bang. (For the cameo group.) I forgot who was in MKMF 2008. Need to watch it again, haha.

Edited at 2012-12-17 01:15 am (UTC)

my ot5 dreams~ was the group that made a cameo big bang? :)

Crying... I really wish this will happen someday T____T

Andwaeeee will be back soon :3

I dont wanna cry but....*sobs*

i wanted to ask but do u really have a twin? O.O!

“They’ve gone home.”
is it SHINee or BigBang?

Edited at 2012-12-17 02:32 am (UTC)

OH MY GOD this was perfect! You have no idea how many times I've had dreams like this epilogue. When Changmin started singing, I lost it. I seriously lost it. And then the album sales...oh lord. I just can't.

. This whole fan fiction was beautiful and made me cry like a baby. I love your writing so much and I'm so glad that you wrote this because as much as it pains me to read bandfics/lawsuit fics like this, they still are my favorite to read.

Although I know exactly why won't come back as five again, I still crying.. Well crying because this is never will happen in the future.. At least as five.. No.. Not as five...

The cameo is exo? Hahah

Maybe one day it'll really be W.

My guess ... Shinee.

Oh my OT5 heart ;_;
I love how they sang W....if you try reading this while listening to W (big sky in the east version) you'll drown in your tears.
Thank you for writing this!

IT'S DEFINITELY EVERY CASSIOPEIA WISH. T^T sobs its sooo beautiful seeing those gods in W formation. ... just like what you wrote on the last part ... they are home.

Feeling emoshinki coz of U! (>_<)

i just have to say..honey-sempai!!!!!!!

A/N2: SHINee?????
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh you gave me a heart attack and then CPRed me back. Not fair. This is a dream we all share. When this day comes..... I will be crying :D

*bawling* fics like these always constrict my heart.. i always long for this moment..and i've been holding on thinking also that wouldn't it be perfect if they came back and you believed in them till the end.
the W song..i skip it in my phone coz everytime i listen i cry unless it's emoshinki day for me.
and it's true cassiopeia is a ball of angst..and im glad im part of it.hehe
toujours garder la foi.
oh yeah..is it shinee?or bigbang..for me it's only between them.

Edited at 2012-12-17 03:47 am (UTC)