beeswaxing (beeswaxing) wrote,

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Ice [7]

Title: Ice
Pairing: YunJae
Length: Chaptered
Genre: AU, fluff, romance
Disclaimer: I don't own anything apart from the story. I wish I had YunJae and if I had my way, they'd move to New Zealand so they can be civil-unionised here

Summary: Yunho knows ice very well. He is the youngest team captain in the history of the best professional hockey team in South Korea, bringing his teammates to glory time and time again. But a little something has been missing lately, a spark that everyone has grown to recognise from the young man. His teammates know exactly what’s wrong but he refuses to acknowledge it. Jaejoong is much too young to be this cynical and jaded. At least, that’s what his parents say, but what do they know? They love their only son and only want him to be happy despite not agreeing with his rock star lifestyle. When the 29 year old finds himself in rehab after a sort of accidental overdose, his tearful parents give him an ultimatum. Now he has to figure out what to do with the ball of ice that is his heart…

AN1: Why did I cry…………… (sung in tune)

AN2: This banner was done by atriums 

Jaejoong is uncharacteristically nervous. He had woken up with a massive hangover, but somehow his voice is back, and he’d barely made it to rehearsals that afternoon. They’ve only had time to go through the routine once, and he’s going to have to wing it. The good thing is that his band knows the two songs like the back of their hands as he’s performed them enough times even though they’re not strictly part of his discography. He supposes it’s more a fan service thing in a way, even though he doesn’t view it that way.

The second song had been a last minute change, much to the chagrin of his band but one look at his face at rehearsals and no one had dared to utter a word.

The tabloids had somehow managed to get a hold of some details of what happened the previous night, and Jaejoong has a feeling it was Fuku who had leaked the news because who else would do it or know the details? He’d received a rather abrupt voice message in reply to the one he’d left simply agreeing to his terms, and he’d left it at that then. However when the news had broke not an hour later, he had called them back up in a fury. Heads are definitely going to roll for this one. He can still recall the article in all its sensationalistic glory though thankfully, no photos had been provided. Well, no photos of the two fuckers from last night anyway. A photo of him was inevitable, as he stares at the blurry image from the airport, and the couple of old photos from a few months ago.


A half naked couple was seen leaving Hero Jaejoong’s hotel suite late last night. The man appeared to be injured, and helped by the woman who had been crying. Neither would speak to us, but it is yet another episode in the saga that is Hero Jaejoong. The rockstar is still on hiatus, only appearing for charity events, presumably to offset his bad boy rocker image. However, if the events of last night are anything to go by, Hero has not changed one bit. It is reminiscent of the very public way he threw one of his former guitarists out of his studio a few months ago. Cold and utterly uncaring is the hallmark of Hero Jaejoong.

The star had also been involved in an altercation during his flight late Thursday afternoon and the visibly drunk rock icon was seen and heard abusing flight and airport ground staff. Rehearsals are currently underway at Tokyo Dome but Hero Jaejoong is nowhere to be found. Perhaps he might not even turn up. This wouldn’t be the first time the troubled rock star has cancelled a performance due to off stage antics, and it probably won’t be the last. What will the hiatus bring for Hero Jaejoong? Only time will tell.




How the fuck him throwing out Tiffany is even relevant is beyond him. The only similarity between the two incidents is that he threw someone out. The two events are completely unrelated and he had been completely justified in throwing the two-faced bitch out. He’d found out that she’d been dating Seunghyun, and anyone associated with the bastard is automatically cut out of his life, and she fucking well knew it. He feels absolutely no remorse even now, almost a year later.

The bitter taste of bile is in his throat as he recalls the awkward phone call to his mother not an hour ago. He had rang to see if she had heard the news, and she was trying her best to pretend she hadn’t seen it, yet at the same time wanting to know that it wasn’t true. It was a strange phone call, and something Jaejoong never wants to re-live again. Before living at home, he hadn’t bothered to check how his antics affected his parents, simply assuming that since no one knew their son’s identity, that it will be left at that. They can’t be shamed if no one knows they are connected. When he comes home, he tries for some semblance of normalcy, even if it’s over dinner for a couple of hours a week. They never talk about his work, and he pretends it doesn’t exist. It has worked for over five years.

However, that has all come to an end thanks to his father’s team. As far as he can tell, his identity has been kept quiet, but he wonders for how long. The fact that his parents trust them should be good enough, but not for him. He is now answerable for his behaviour and it pisses him off.

And then there’s Yunho.

He had woken up to a missed call from the young man, and recalling the events of last night, he did not feel like he could return the call. As he pondered that, lying in bed, trying to will the migraine away, his phone had beeped.

Fuck… fuck fuck fuck! I’m sorry for swearing but I’m going to kill my teammates. I just saw the texts they sent last night! Oh my god… I am beyond embarrassed right now you don’t even know. Oh my fucking god… I’m going to make them do fucking passing drills till their toes bleed. Assholes!!! :-(

And just like that, it is as if the last 60 hours had not happened, as Jaejoong had texted him back, commiserating, unable to help the slow smile that he wears as he thinks about the irate younger man.

Clearly piercings aren’t the only thing you forgot to tell me about. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about ;-) Why didn’t you tell me you could dance?

Why did you have to mention piercings………… o_O

Jaejoong laughs even now, getting strange stares from his bassist and lead guitarist who are conversing next to him. But he is oblivious as he scrolls through his phone, smiling to himself.

You’re really going to need to get over that you know? ;P

Uh…when pigs, cows, horses and goats fly… è_é

Lol! Don’t try and distract me. Back to the dancing, Jung Ginuwine :P

I’m never going to live this down. TILL THEIR TOES FUCKING BLEED!!! I PROMISE! I’m never drinking again :-/ Bloody hell… I was going to call you again but I’ve decided not to because I don’t think I can handle you teasing me verbally. Speaking of which, how’s your voice?

You’re really good at changing the subject aren’t you? Don’t think I didn’t notice ;-) And yes, my voice is fine. I woke up and managed to get into the whistle register of an old song.

You’re not to shabby at deflecting either, hmmm? But it’s ok ;-) I think it’s fun running around the rosebush together. And what? Whistle register? What song? What? I didn’t know males can hit a note that high. Your voice is pretty low if I remember rightly…

I dropped my voice just for you…;-)

Jae… I’m sitting in my car, outside my coach’s house, and my teammates have me surrounded, and I can’t get out because I stupidly wore track pants and boxers instead of briefs… THANKS, JAE.

Jaejoong chuckles to himself yet again as he reads, and he attracts even more attention, this time from the drummer and another guitarist. Everyone in their backstage room are exchanging looks now, and eyeing Hero Jaejoong curiously. The man is not known for laughing. Hell, he is barely know for smiling. His expression is usually a sneer or a pout, or completely expressionless.

And yet again, Jaejoong is oblivious, too caught up in re-reading the messages to notice.

He is unaware that both he and Yunho share the same trait when talking to each other. It is as if the world around them fades and ceases to exist, a complete contrast to their usually observant natures. Well, in Jaejoong’s case, observant when he wants to be.

I’m starting to think a stiff breeze could turn you on. Doesn’t say much for me does it? :P

It’s just you. It’s all you…………..oppa ;-)

Jaejoong bites his lips then, remembering the immediate exodus of blood from his brain straight to his cock. And clearly it wasn’t a one time thing because he can feel his cock twitching, perking up interestedly at the vision in his mind. Yunho has managed to turn a word he hates into a word that makes him squirm.

And he cannot decide how he feels about that.

Alright, alright, I think we’re even now… You are very bad. I’ll be back in SK tonight, but it’ll be late. Chat then if you’re still up?

Coward :P Later, Jae ;-)

The smile finally falls from Jaejoong’s lips, and his mouth is back, twisted into an unhappy pout.

His band members surrounding him almost heave a collective mental sigh of relief at getting an expression they are more familiar with. Though those closer to him like the drummer, are more than a little curious as to why he’s smiling in the first place. They all know the story about the orgy was a fucking lie, and while pissed about it, they’re also somewhat resigned to it. Hero Jaejoong brings about controversy wherever he goes. They are paid well enough to shut up about it. The man is talented as fuck but also unpredictable as hell and they’ve all learned to just go with the flow and not look too deeply into it. They’ve all been playing with the man for five to seven years, and yet none of them can even write a paragraph on the man’s personal life. Hero’s uncharacteristic smile is about the only evidence that they’ve seen since knowing the man that he is indeed human like the rest of them.

His so-called attempted suicide last month doesn’t count because they’ve all been there at some point, and the more cynical ones even believe it was merely a publicity stunt.


Yunho is definitely right about that.

A man with a headset comes in, eyeing Hero Jaejoong warily as he speaks to the group at large although really, his information is only meant for the rock star. He just doesn’t want to address the volatile singer directly for fear of being chewed up and spat out.

“The meet and greet is about to start. They will be bringing in the fans in five minutes. It will be held in the red room if you’d like to come with me.”

Jaejoong eyes the man who is looking anywhere but at him, and his eyebrow goes up.

“Who the fuck are you talking to? If you want my band to go to this meet and greet, then fine. But if you’re talking to me then fucking look at me, asshole.”

The man bites his lip nervously. He’s only been hired to help out with this huge charity event and isn’t actually accustomed to dealing with pop stars or rock stars or even anyone from the entertainment business. He’d been sent because in the great hierarchical scheme of things, he is merely a gofer, and gofers get to do the dirty work. He now understands the cruel smirk of his superior who had sent him on this task.

“Um… Hero-san…”

“Hero is enough. Forget the honorifics. I don’t give a fuck about them and neither should you.” Jaejoong is feeling guilty for being mean to the kid, and he softens his words slightly, but not by much, his face is still a cold mask.

“W-would you follow m-m-me please?”

“Yo, Hero! I think he’s about to piss his pants if you don’t go with him.” One of the guitarists crows loudly, and the band cracks up.

The poor man has paled, as he looks around him, really looking around him, suddenly realising he is surrounded by tattooed men who could all chew him up and spit him out. Hero at least is gorgeous to look at if you forget the perpetual sneer. His band on the other hand are just a bunch of trolls. It’s as if all the collective beauty in the band has been sucked out of everyone and placed in Hero.

Jaejoong doesn’t bother answering anyone, simply squaring his shoulders and heading out the door. As he walks through the doorway, his voice can be heard, bitingly cold, frosty as fuck. He doesn’t even bother to turn around, but his voice carries well enough.

“Why the fuck are you still standing there gaping like a fucking goldfish?”


The team is upset. Well, their afternoon has been horrible to say the least as a seemingly grim Jung Yunho had put them through so many passing drills that even their coach had to eventually step in and bring it to a halt before they passed out from sheer exhaustion. They are all nursing varying levels of hangovers, and the punishing drills that Yunho has them doing has even made Yoochun throw up from residual dizziness.

But did their captain sympathise?


This isn’t actually the first time Yunho has been like this. He gets into bouts of insanity, especially close to big games and just expects everyone to be able to do whatever he can. There’s no malice or vindictiveness behind his actions. He is the best on the ice in the league at present, and he simply wants the rest of the team to be like him.

However, today, the team isn’t at all sure as to what his motivations are. They do have a game coming up mid-week for the play-offs, and since it is an away game, there is added pressure on them to perform well without a home crowd behind them. But they’ve been playing extremely well, and there is really no need to be put through the wringer like this, especially after their overindulgence the previous night.


Junsu eyes his best friend warily, wincing as he tries to work the kink out of his neck. During the first ten minute break of their practice session, Changmin had mass texted all of them about the news of Hero Jaejoong. The coach and Yunho seem to be oblivious to it still, but he wonders about Yunho, because the younger man has been an absolute devil on the ice, and he really wishes he was exaggerating. He is probably the least affected by their night out since he’s not much of a drinker and had to make sure everyone got home alright, so he figures it’s probably up to him to find out what’s wrong. Han Geng and Changmin keep sending him meaningful glances and nodding towards Yunho. Kangin and Yoochun are both passed out on the bleachers, trying to catch some much needed rest, having been the two heaviest drinkers last night.

He stands up, clomping on his skate guards as he walks up the grandstand to get to Yunho who is sitting by himself at the top, fiddling with his phone.


Yunho doesn’t bother looking up, but he grunts in acknowledgment. He knows he’s been much too hard on the team, but he is actually more than just embarrassed about last night. He is a little angry. He knows they mean well, but he feels like they’ve crossed a line, violating his privacy almost. For the first time, he feels a twinge of hurt at their actions, because well-meaning or not, it could have backfired spectacularly. Jae has trust issues, and for him to know that other people have access to his phone could have made him run.

Heck, Yunho now has trust issues thanks to what happened. There’s a reason he doesn’t want his entire face shown to Jae yet, and now it’s too late. It isn’t just his face, but his everything really. He’ll have to go around Seoul, Anyang, and wherever else, forever wondering if Jae is out there recognising him, but he is still sitting here in the dark like a fool.

And all thanks to his friends.

He doesn’t want to ask Jae to reciprocate, and show him his face, because it isn’t his fault that his friends had done what they did. Strangely enough, he is far angrier about this than he was when he found out that Kangin had accosted Seunghyun in a deserted park and had beaten the man to a bloody pulp. Heck, he even felt a small sense of satisfaction, which he immediately felt guilty for, but he is human after all and therefore, not infallible.

He hates that he feels this way, and he hates that his friends’ actions have made him feel this way. He has never met Jae and yet he feels protective over the man, and while the older man didn’t seem too perturbed about his friends getting access to his phone, his interactions with him over the last two or so weeks makes him worry that he might draw back just a little.

Perhaps he’s over thinking it. Perhaps he’s over-reacting just a tad, especially after being shut out by Jae since Wednesday night and only getting contact from the man that morning, and finding out what his friends had done. Perhaps he’s feeling vulnerable.

Perhaps it’s all of the above.

In fact, he does think he is over-thinking and over-reacting. But it still doesn’t escape the fact that his friends violated his privacy, and that little seed of distrust has been planted. Even after four broken relationships, three of which had shaken his trust in humanity in general, his teamplayers, his friends, his brothers, have always been his rock.

And now his foundation has been slighty shaken.

And he hates it.

“Yunho…” Junsu sees the hardening of the younger man’s jaw, watching as he looks up. Those familiar almond eyes that are usually filled with humour and light, are dark and cold. He shivers inadvertently, unable to stop it, as he sits across the aisle from the man. He doesn’t want to get closer, because he doesn’t recognise that look in Yunho’s eyes. He’s known the man for almost eight years, having met him at one of those street hip hop dance offs. They had hit it off immediately despite their age gap. He is over two years older than his captain, but there are times where he feels much younger, and this is one of those times.

Yunho doesn’t verbally acknowledge his best friend. He just stares at him, willing himself to try and see their actions from last night from his point of view. Perhaps alcohol had played a part, messing with Changmin and even Han Geng’s usual sense of propriety. He recognises the voice in the video as being Changmin’s, and he actually recalls quite clearly when he had shown the finger to the goaltender. He had completely forgotten that the man had been recording him in the haze of the crowd’s adoration and his alcohol tinged consciousness.

“I’m sorry,” Junsu finally speaks, his voice quiet, as he stares at Yunho’s chest. Their training jerseys are plain, and he has nothing to focus his eyes on, unable to return his friend’s gaze anymore.

“What are you sorry about?”

Junsu winces at the tone. He hasn’t heard Yunho’s voice being this dead, this cold since Seunghyun. Maybe dating Hero Jaejoong isn’t such a hot idea after all if his personality is rubbing off on his easy going friend.

“I’m not sure…I just thought I should apologise.”

Yunho’s face breaks into a scowl.

“Look at me.”

Junsu looks up, subconsciously leaning back, away from his captain’s cold dark eyes.

“Don’t you think an apology hollow if you don’t know why the fuck you’re apologising?”


“Forget it. Seriously, just forget it. I’m done for the day. Go and have a fulltime game with the other guys. Two on two. You and Kangin against Micky and Geng. Maybe you and Geng can balance out the sodden idiots.”

And with that, Yunho gets up, stomping down the stairs to disappear under the bleachers, heading for the showers.

Junsu stares after him slackjawed, catching Han Geng and Changmin’s gazes who are equally shocked. He is about to go after him when the voice of Coach Kim stops him.

“Leave him be.”

Junsu turns, and realises that the coach must have heard their conversation, as well as been told about the news of his son. He looks like he’s aged at least five years, and the centre forward feels terrible for him. He is about to open his mouth, but Coach Kim beats him to it again.

“Do as he says, but not a full game. Half a game. Three periods, ten minutes each. And then you kids can get out of here. Can you make sure everything is closed up when you’re done? I need to go home.”

“I’m really sorry coach…”

“The story isn’t true. It was trumped up bullshit. Don’t be sorry.”

And with that, Coach Kim too walks off.

Junsu stares after him till he disappears under the bleachers, before he gets up and slowly clomps his way down to his teammates. Han Geng and Changmin are next to each other, while Kangin is sitting up, still looking a little worst for wear. Yoochun is still on his back, a forearm across his eyes as he moans uncomfortably.

He sits next to Yoochun’s head, lifting the older man’s head gently and scooting closer to lay it in his lap. He cards his hands through the man’s damp hair, his fingertips massaging his scalp lightly and Yoochun’s moans of pain morph into tiny happy sounds.

“Aren’t you a lucky bastard to have your boyfriend here right now.” Kangin glares at Yoochun’s prone form, getting a weak middle finger from the left winger for his words.

“What happened?” Changmin asks, looking at Junsu.

“I don’t know, but he is pissed as fuck. Did you hear him?”

“Yeah we did. Do you think he knows about Hero?”

“I have no idea. Possibly. But then again, I don’t want to assume anything with him.”

Kangin frowns as he listens. “I think even if he doesn’t know, and he’s mad about something else, we should still tell him.”

“Tell him about what?” Han Geng looks at his friend. Shaking his head slightly at him. “If you mean tell him about Hero then I don’t agree. He’s mad at us and telling him about Hero will make it worse, trust me.”

“What makes you say that?” Changmin queries. His head is still sore from imbibing too much last night and he is a little slow today. Not so much on the ice, because everyone else is pretty much equally slow apart from Yunho and Junsu to a lesser degree, but his brain is sluggish.

“I just remembered him saying how Jae has trust issues.”

“How is that relevant?”

Han Geng looks at the normally quick young goaltender, and shakes his head again. He closes his eyes, wincing slightly as he tries to work his own sluggish brain to piece together why their normally happy captain is in such a foul mood.

“We took his phone and texted the guy.”

“So?” Kangin asks and he gets yet another head shake from Han Geng.

“Fuck… I didn’t think about that.” Changmin finally catches on, bending over, his elbows on his knees as he cards his hands agitatedly through his hair. “Fuck, fuck, fuck. I really wasn’t thinking. Fucking hell.”

“What do you think happened?” Junsu asks quietly, still gently massaging Yoochun’s head. His boyfriend is now silent, listening closely, his eyes open and staring at the ceiling of the stadium, looking lost in thought.

Han Geng shrugs, turning his head to look off at the ice. “I don’t know. I don’t want to imagine it to be honest. He hasn’t heard from Hero for two nights, then we butt in, and then there’s news of Hero’s apparent drunken orgy, and now Yunho is pissed as hell.”

“He was happy when we were at Coach’s house earlier before practice. Remember? He was smiling goofily in his car, and he stayed in there longer than usual, ignoring us.” Yoochun finally speaks up, reaching up to tug Junsu’s hand from his hair and putting it over his mouth, kissing the younger man’s palm softly in thanks.

“Oh yeah…he was…” Han Geng trails off.

The team is silent, all lost in their own thoughts.

“I really don’t like this.” Kangin finally breaks the silence, staring at his discarded helmet on the floor of the bleachers.

“I think we should stop meddling.” Junsu speaks up.

His teammates all turn to him, even Yoochun who groans into a sitting position, turning to look at him.

“I’ve known Yunho the longest. I’ve never seen him like this. I think he’s fallen really hard for Hero or Jae or whatever he wants to be called. I know we all want to protect him or try and make sure he doesn’t get hurt, but after last night, I think our efforts will just make things worse not better.”

“We were drunk! It wouldn’t have happened if we hadn’t been drunk!” Changmin protests, feeling extremely guilty and a little targeted because of it. It had been his idea to film Yunho and send it to Hero Jaejoong.

Junsu shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter. What matters is that we did it. I’m not blaming you Min-ah. We were all in on it. I just think we need to stop. We have the luxury of the extra knowledge of whom he’s dating, and I think our actions have or will eventually be, coloured by that knowledge. So we should just stop.”

The team is silent again, and after a minute or so, it is Han Geng who breaks the silence.

“I agree. Vow of silence. I know it’s childish but I believe we need help in keeping our mouths shut. This isn’t as simple as a normal relationship.”

“There’s nothing normal about this relationship,” Kangin mutters under his breath, but he sticks his hand out regardless, palm down.

One by one, the other members put their hands over his, Han Geng’s hand is last.

“We vow not to interfere with Yunho’s personal life unless he specifically wants our interference. Agreed?” Han Geng’s voice is low, almost a whisper.

“Agreed.” The younger four members reply quietly.

“We vow not to mention Jae’s identity, and will maintain this silence as far as possible, which means no accidental slip ups.” Han Geng looks over at Kangin then, who has the grace to look sheepish, dropping his gaze back to their piled hands. “Agreed?”


“We vow not to mention to Coach Kim and his wife that Yunho is dating their son, unless they themselves find out. Agreed?”


“And break.” Han Geng pushes his palm down, and the teams lets go of their hands.

They do it just in time, because Yunho suddenly appears at the top of the bleachers, dressed in a bulky royal blue winter jacket that skims the tops of his knees.

“Why the fuck aren’t you on the ice?”

The team scramble to their feet, not a single complaint leaving their lips as they march down single file to the lower bleachers, losing their skate guards and heading out onto the ice, fiddling with their helmets as they go.

Yunho stands there for a minute, making sure his team actually starts the game he has instructed them to play, before turning to leave.


Jaejoong is bored out of his mind.

No, Hero is bored out of his fucking mind. He has been sitting at the damn table, signing stupid photobooks, cds, dvds, posters, and whatever fuck else his fans have brought with them that day, for what feels like hours. There are queues for each artiste, and despite not being native to Japan, and the only non-Japanese performer, his queue is the longest.

On a normal day, he’d be smirking and gloating at the fact.

Not today though. Today he’s too busy wondering about the consequences of his performance. He had decided within the first fifteen minutes of the meet and greet, that he will probably need to plan for an encore performance, judging by the sheer number of people in his line. The song he’d decided to sing is way too personal. But yet, it is because it is so personal that he wants to perform it.

But is he ready for the fall out from it?

He has no clue, and like the tabloids say, only time will tell.

Hero Jaejoong is putting himself out there.

He is the only one left, the other ten artistes long gone. No one expects him to smile, and he doesn’t. Simply asking in a disinterested voice as to what his fans want on their various paraphernalia. He allows photographs, scowling at the lens of various smart phones. He barely even looks up half the time unless whoever it is requests a picture. Unfortunately for him, that happens to be about ninety percent of the line.

He is just about ready to call it quits when someone places a concept photo in front of him.


This photo had never been made public as far as he knows, not making the cut for his last album. He looks up then, scowling intensely, but the expression melts completely off his face when he is confronted by exactly whom has placed it in front of him.

A female version of Yunho.

Good god, the coincidences are getting to be too much. He stares at her, blinking, trying to clear any residual fuzz from his brain, but it doesn’t change.

Her features don’t change.

Her eyes don’t change.

Her lips don’t change.

He has this insane urge to open up his phone and watch the video again and compare their faces side by side. She even has the same smirk.

“Who are you?” He blurts out before he can stop himself. He watches as her smirk waver slightly, before it comes back in full force. The girl is definitely not lacking in confidence.

“Jihye. Jung Jihye, oppa.”

Jaejoong is ready to slam his head onto the table. She even says the word the way he does. This has to be Yunho’s annoying, bratty, baby sister. There can be no one else with a face like that, the same surname, and the same way of saying oppa.

“You’re a long way from home.”

“So are you,” comes the sassy response as Jihye smirks at Hero Jaejoong. She is practically dancing a jig internally, but determined not to show it. She knows Hero hates the crazy fans, and he has plenty of those. She’s a pretty rabid fan, but she still has enough sense not to make a complete ass of herself. Plus, having a brother who is practically a celebrity himself has taught her how to behave. Despite what her mother thinks, Jihye is not a pea-brained teenager.

Jaejoong almost smiles at that.


“Where did you get this photo? I’m pretty sure it was never printed.”

Jihye’s heart is thumping. She had paid a fuck load of money for it, and she doesn’t want to get her friend’s older sister’s boyfriend in trouble. The man had been one of the assistant photographers for the shoot, and had secretly printed the photo as a gift for his girlfriend whom he knows is a big fan. It is literally the only copy in existence.

However, her friend’s unnie is no longer a fan, and had wanted to get rid of all her Hero Jaejoong stuff. Jihye had been the only one willing to pay the ridiculous price she was asking for that photo, with the promise that she will never show it to anyone.

Well, Hero Jaejoong isn’t just anyone surely?

Jihye is at the age where promises are made to be broken anyway, but she is not so callous as to get someone else into trouble for her precociousness.

“If I told you, I’d have to kill you, oppa.”

Jaejoong’s lips twitch. While he has received many death threats, he hasn’t received one quite like this. He knows Jihye isn’t serious.

“Am I making out this photo to you? Do you want the usual message?”

Jihye bristles slightly at the usual message. Surely a photo that unique should get a unique message? She wants Hero Jaejoong to remember her. And she knows he will because of that photo, but she doesn’t want him to think she’s one of his usual fans either. She makes a strange decision then, one that she will be hammering her head for all the way back to Seoul.

“It’s for my brother.”

Jaejoong’s eyebrow arches very high at that.

“Your brother is a fan?”

“Um…not really…but I think he could be a fan. I want to try and convince him to be a fan.”

Jaejoong wants to laugh. This is getting more ridiculous by the second. He looks down at the photo, and he does laugh, a low chuckle as he takes in the photo. Of all the things it covers, it covers his mouth, the only part of him that Yunho will actually recognise. He looks back up at Jihye who is now gaping at him.

“I’ve never heard you laugh.”

“Am I that bad?”

Jihye is stumped. She has no idea how to answer that. She goes with honesty.


Jaejoong breaks into a wide smile then. Leaning back in his chair as he stares at the tall and beautiful girl looking at him with wide almond eyes. He turns, waving to one of the assistants.

“Get rid of everyone, I’m done.”

He can hear various protests behind Jihye, one of them even shoves her, which gets him on his feet immediately, as he stares her down.

“Would you like to be kicked out of the venue?”


“Then apologise. I will be sending an escort with her out, and if any of you touches a single hair on her, I will have all of you thrown out, understood?”

The queue behind Jihye all gape at the rock icon, whose eyes are flinty, his expression cold. They are all wondering who the hell the girl is, because Hero Jaejoong clearly means business. The girl mumbles an apology to Jihye, almost close to tears, before they are all quietly herded out. No more protests are forthcoming, just a low murmur of whispered conversation as they exit the room.

Jaejoong doesn’t sit till the last of them leaves the room, before he turns back to a gaping Jihye. He has to stifle the sudden urge to laugh again. He has a feeling she’s going to think he’s gone crazy if he does.

“What’s you brother’s name?”

“Uh… U-Know…uh I mean Yunho. Jung Yunho.”

Fate is playing tricks on him that’s for sure. That can be the only explanation. However, if this was the sign he wanted as to whether to go ahead with the song, it is proclaiming it loud and clear.

“What shall I write?”

Jihye blinks at the beautiful man. He suddenly looks human and approachable. She has no idea what has caused the change in the man, but she’s not deluded enough to think that she has managed to catch his eye or something. She barely thinks as she shrugs.

“Whatever you want.”

Jaejoong bends his head, staring at the photo. He stares and stares and stares, and finally he starts to write.

“Do you want a photo?” He asks, once he’s done, he wants her to wait a little for the ink to dry. He definitely doesn’t want this message smudging.

“Uh…I left my phone in my hotel room. My mother was bugging me and I figured it’s not lying if I leave the phone behind.”

To her surprise, Hero digs into his pockets, pulling out his own phone. He gestures her to come close, and he slips an arm around her shoulders as he holds his phone up to take a selca.


Smile? She’s barely able to breathe, blinking owlishly at the screen, completely stunned and frozen. The moment comes and goes in the blink of an eye as Hero Jaejoong lets her go.

“Give me your email address and I’ll get someone to send this to you.”

Jihye complies silently, scribbling her name and email address onto one of the cardboard coasters on the table. Hero Jaejoong pockets it, before getting up, smiling at her again, before he says goodbye, leaving with two security guards whom he instructs not to leave her side till she gets into her vehicle to leave the venue at the end of the night.

When did Hero Jaejoong care about his fans like this?

As she is escorted out, Jihye looks down at the photo. The message causes her forehead to furrow deeply in confusion.


I know all your favourite spots…

Hero Jaejoong xoxx


Coach Kim opens his front door, surprised to find Han Geng and Kangin there. It is past 8pm on a Saturday night, and his wife and him are currently sitting in front of the television, watching the live broadcast of Jaejoong’s concert. Well, not really Jaejoong’s concert since they’ve sat through over three hours of Japanese artistes they vaguely recognise.

“Can we watch it with you?”

“Watch what?”

Your son’s concert…”

“Why can’t you watch it at home?”

“We don’t have that channel on our cable subscription.”

The show is being broadcast on a local Japanese television network rather than an international music network, and so coverage is limited.

Coach Kim stares at the oldest members of his team, before sighing and stepping aside to let them through.

Once the three of them are comfortably seated, the doorbell rings again.

“That’ll be the other guys.”


“Uh… We kinda told them we were coming, and they said they wanted to come too.”

Coach Kim shakes his head at Kangin, before going to get the door, and true enough, Yoochun, Junsu and Changmin come tumbling in looking sheepish, their hands in their pockets.

By the time all of them are settled in front of the television complete with drinks and food, Coach and Mrs Kim on the couch, and the five men sprawled out on the floor, the final act is being announced.

The light dims, and suddenly the screen onstage explodes in a fiery burst of colour. The cameras are going all over the place, not focused at all. Yoochun and Junsu recognise the song, as does Changmin, but everyone else is somewhat clueless.

Naniga jiyuu nanoka
Naniga tadashiinoka
Kinyouna yumemite
Samayou kage…

The first glimpse of Hero Jaejoong, and everyone’s jaws drop. He is almost unrecognisable. His hair has blue tints in it, the fringe swept down to cover one side of his face. He is wearing low heeled knee high boots, and a long leather trench coat. Changmin doesn’t even want to imagine how many cows died to make him that jacket, not to mention the leather fingerless gloves.

The first close up of his face, makes his mother gasp. He is wearing lenses, but not his usual circle lenses. These are more like monster lenses. He still wears the sneer that twists his mouth so beautifully, as he sings the Japanese song that made it to the top of the fan poll.

“God, he really has one hell of a voice.” Kangin mutters almost in wonderment, his eyes glued to the screen as Hero Jaejoong sings without making it look as if he’s putting in any effort at all to get the big sounds coming out of his mouth.

He runs around the stage, getting the crowd pumping, but in a very Hero way. He does it without looking like he actually cares if they will cheer or not, and it makes the crowd cheer even more. Everytime the camera pans in for a close up and he notices, the baleful glare he sends it is almost demonic.


At one point he opens his mouth wide, and then flicks his tongue piercing out, and Yoochun immediately chokes at the sight.

Junsu thumps him on the back, as he tries to recover. But he really should have let his boyfriend choke a little more since his rather inappropriate comment was better kept on the inside.

“Fucking hell I forgot he had that piercing since it’s almost never shown. Can you imagine the blow—“

And he gets a thump to the mouth instead of to the back as Junsu claps his hand hurriedly over his mouth. However the damage has been done as everyone stares at them, gaping, including Coach Kim and his wife.

Mrs Kim recovers first, chuckling ruefully. “Don’t worry, boys. I’m so used to your language, nothing bothers me anymore. I’d rather not think about my son that way, but since I myself brought up his bedroom preferences at the dinner table a few weeks ago, I can’t blame you for speculating.”

Yoochun is itching to ask but he holds it in, turning back to face the television.

The performance ends much sooner than they would like, and all five men groan.

Coach Kim laughs then. “Have you never watched him perform?”

“His tickets sell out in like five minutes. It’s impossible to get to. And it’s almost never shown on television. He doesn’t go on music programs so I’ve personally never actually seen him live.” Changmin admits.

His four teammates nod as well, mumbling agreements.

The music changes, a plucking of a bass guitar reverberates. The sound deep. And everyone turns back to look at the screen. Hero is now standing at the main stage, behind a microphone stand. He caresses his microphone suggestively trailing his fingertips up and down the length as he smirks. The other hand stroking the stand equally suggestively, his old on it loose as he makes a pumping motion up and down. The five men chance side-eyed glances at his parents. His mother has her hand over her eyes and Coach Kim is just shaking his head slightly.

And then he starts to sing, and the room seems to exhale as one. Jaejoong’s tone is different in this song compared to the earlier song. Lower, more gravelly. There is almost a sinister twist in his voice, and it translates to his face as he looks dangerous. As if he is plotting to debauch everyone that strays across his gaze. The song is almost a lament, but yet it isn’t. Not all of them understand English, but the way he is singing is striking deep within each one of them. Hero Jaejoong may be cold, volatile, and impossible offstage.

But onstage, he puts everything he has into his voice, and you can feel whatever it is he wants you to feel. He pulls you in and spits you out, feeling raw, violated, and totally fucked.

He is a god no one can touch. And this is why.

They watch in silence, as he finally rips his microphone from the stand and stalks down the catwalk towards the secondary stage. Anger is in every step as he strides purposefully, his voice is cold, demanding, angry and bitter all rolled into one. You can feel his pain.

Why is everything so fucking hard for me?
Keep me down to what you think, I should be.
Must you tempt me and provoke the ministry?
Keep on trying, I’ll not die so easily…

The last line is said in utter defiance, his angry glare so baleful, everyone in the room shivers.

I will not die…

Mrs Kim bursts into tears then. No one moves, as they watch Coach Kim put and arm around her as she turns her face into his shoulder, sobbing.

Changmin is chewing on his bottom lip, staring at the floor. His teammates are in a similar position. Now that they know who Hero Jaejoong is, they feel more for the man. Their love and respect for their coach and their captain extends to Hero Jaejoong. They see his singing differently.

He holds nothing back when he sings. This is probably the most honest Hero Jaejoong ever gets.

This is why he inspires such insanity in his fans.

The song slowly winds down, but as it does, the shout for an encore starts to swell. It is so loud, that it almost overpowers the music.

When the music finally dies, the venue suddenly goes pitch black. Screams can be heard, and all that can be seen are the fanlights.

An ocean of red.

The screams increase, swelling into a crescendo as they chant his name, the red ocean moving as if waves are breaking gently, the water rippling in the capacity crowd at the Tokyo Dome.

This may be a charity concert with 11 artistes.

But Tokyo Dome belongs to Hero Jaejoong.

Suddenly a beam of light illuminates a sole figure on the secondary stage.

Hero Jaejoong.

But yet, it isn’t.

He has lost the leather trench coat, dressed simply in tight black jeans and a black tank top. His hair is tucked under a grey beanie, and he is wearing sunglasses.

But the most interesting thing about him is that he is holding an acoustic guitar. He looks up from fiddling with the strings, holding a hand up.

The silence is slow in coming, but it comes. 55,000 people hush, as if holding their breath. They all exhale quietly as he lowers his hand, sitting down in the chair behind him.

Those watching at home, in particular, the Kim household are astonished. Probably as much as the crowd right there watching him this instant.

Jaejoong adjusts the microphone, his heart pounding madly. He feels stripped bare, but this is how he wants it to be.

He clears his throat into the microphone, and he can hear the crowd tittering. He holds his hand up once again, and silence once again descends on the restless crowd, wondering what the hell is going on.

“I’m going to do something different today,” he pauses. Staring out into the red ocean before him.

He stares out, wondering where Jihye is, wondering if she will make the connection.

He stares out, and a face enters his mind.

And he smiles.

The smile is captured on camera, and beamed to the 55,000 strong audience who are watching, utterly stunned.

The smile is seen in the home of the Kims, sending Mrs Kim into another less loud, bout of tears.

“I thought long and hard about singing this. And then decided if I lose what I thought I had by singing this, then I never had it in the first place.”

He clears his throat again, and starts to strum. His heart is thumping so loudly he can barely hear anything. But what is there to hear?

If your feet hurt, from walking too much…
Then I will tend to them, with a velvet touch…

The song is not familiar to probably ninety-nine percent of the audience, but the ache in his voice as he sings, the way his lips press against the microphone as he breathes out each word, draws everyone in. His voice is low and husky, it is a bedroom voice, meant for the ears of a lover, not thousands in a huge venue, and even more at home.

Don’t you just love, the feeling of my fingertips…
Circling your lips…

Jaejoong is glad he is wearing sunglasses, because he can feel tears pricking his eyes. The tears clog his voice, making it hoarser, shakier, and the ache just resonates around the hushed Dome venue. Fangirls are crying, fanboys are mesmerised, and back in Anyang, five people desperately want to call their team captain, while two older people are trying desperately not to get their hopes up.

I know all your favourite spots…
And tonight we will connect the dots…

And in the mass of people, at the very front of the VIP section, Jung Jihye lets out a gasp of shock.

AN1: And yes, Maze performance from Tokyo Dome but not quite in the outfit he had. I suppose I was visualising something akin to the vampire outfit from the Mine video… and hello, dying even thinking about it ugh! Second song was System… You see it here…

AN2: You know… I had intended this story to be 10 chapters. How many of you will kill me if I ended it at 10? Also, any and all photos in these fics have all come from my phone… I am slightly mortified at the amount of stuff I have in it omg… And I honestly have the randomest photos ever. IDE remember where most of them come from TT_________TT

AN3: Someone PMed me too, saying she’d googled some parts of Ice cos she thought I’d plagiarised the fic because I update so fast. I won’t say who cos it doesn’t matter as she’s never commented before as I can see, but I’m just a little WTF about it. I debated whether to respond, and in the end just went fuck it :-/

Tags: fic:ice, pairing:yunjae, pg-13

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