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All skin and no shame

...innocence is just an illusion...


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Ice [11a]
YJ01
beeswaxing
Title: Ice
Pairing: YunJae
Rating:NC-17
Length: Chaptered
Genre: AU, fluff, romance
Disclaimer: I don't own anything apart from the story. I wish I had YunJae and if I had my way, they'd move to New Zealand so they can be civil-unionised here

Summary: Yunho knows ice very well. He is the youngest team captain in the history of the best professional hockey team in South Korea, bringing his teammates to glory time and time again. But a little something has been missing lately, a spark that everyone has grown to recognise from the young man. His teammates know exactly what’s wrong but he refuses to acknowledge it. Jaejoong is much too young to be this cynical and jaded. At least, that’s what his parents say, but what do they know? They love their only son and only want him to be happy despite not agreeing with his rock star lifestyle. When the 29 year old finds himself in rehab after a sort of accidental overdose, his tearful parents give him an ultimatum. Now he has to figure out what to do with the ball of ice that is his heart…


AN1: Let’s see me losing readers right here…

AN2: This banner was done by atriums 







Yunho sighs, stepping back a little, his hand still cupping the side of Jaejoong’s head.

“We need to talk.”

Jaejoong takes in the serious countenance of the younger man, and he feels his heart start beating a painful rhythm in his chest. The steady thumping that is increasing in speed as each second passes. He finally breaks the silence because it doesn’t look like Yunho is going to. The young man is looking at him, but he doesn’t think he can see him. It feels and looks as if Yunho is looking through him, slightly lost in thought.

“Am I going to hate this talk?” Jaejoong queries softly, a hand rubbing gently over the skin just above the waistband of the younger man’s jeans.

Yunho leans forward to kiss Jaejoong’s nose, before stepping back and letting him go, turning away and walking back towards the slowly filling bath. He unbuckles his belt, pulling it off and dropping it to the floor, before he starts unbuttoning his jeans. He doesn’t take them off though, as he turns, slipping a hand into his pocket to pull out the box sitting there.

Jaejoong’s eyes have dropped to the deep V, and he can see the band of Yunho’s underwear, as well as evidence of his erection. The wet patch he can see on the dark grey boxers makes him smile, but the smile dies on his lips when his eyes travel back up and meet Yunho’s serious ones. The distraction is momentary as he remembers what he’d just asked the younger man, and that he hasn’t gotten an answer yet.

“Yunho?” Jaejoong’s voice is cool in the large bathroom. He’s trying to put up a front, because the serious man before him is someone he knows, yet he doesn’t. He knows Yunho is capable of being serious, that email from him in the weekend is a good example, but he has never actually seen it. Not really. Not till now. His eyes drop to the velvet jewelry box in the topless man’s hand, noting that Yunho seems to be nervous, as his thumb strokes the cover continuously.

“I don’t know if you’ll hate it,” Yunho finally speaks, but he is staring at the water filling the tub rather than at Jaejoong. “But I really need to talk to you about it.” He places the velvet box on the bathroom counter, just by the sink, before moving his hands to his waistband. He looks up then, quirking an eyebrow, smiling slightly. “I need a bath, I need to relax. You can either watch, sit by the side, or join me.”

Jaejoong’s heart slows down at the smile, then speeds up at the words. He is feeling terribly out of sorts, and the urge to run is rearing its head once again, because really he has been through a lot in the last few hours. But that would be selfish. Selfish and stupid.

But he cannot help the step he takes towards the door.

And the second.

And the third.

“Please don’t run…” Yunho’s voice is soft, but loud enough to be heard over the running water.

Jaejoong closes his eyes, taking a deep breath, and he starts to think about the last few hours, running his time with the younger man through his mind like a movie reel on fast forward. As he thinks, his arms move, his body acting on the decision his mind already has made, although he doesn’t acknowledge it yet. He is content seeing Yunho’s face in his head, as he pulls off his tee shirt, his hands moving to his waist to unbutton his tight jeans. His erection is dying, but the love remains.

He finally opens his eyes when he hears the gentle slap of water as Yunho lowers himself into the deep tub. He turns his head, pouting slightly as the younger man stares at him, arms folded on the lip of the tub, chin resting on the back of his hand, just watching.

“That’s not fair.”

A whisper of a smile plays across Yunho’s mouth at the older man’s words, but it doesn’t quite make it into a smirk.

“You snooze, you lose.”

“I wasn’t snoozing.”

“I know.”

“Great,” Jaejoong mutters, his hands hooked in the tops of his jeans, but making no move to push them down. “I feel like I have to remind myself that I am Hero Jaejoong, rock god, because right now I feel like a damn virgin.”

“Why is that?”

“If I knew, don’t you think I would have fixed it so it didn’t happen? There you are, naked, sitting in that tub, and I’m standing here frozen, unable to even take my jeans off. What have you done to me?”

“Do you need help?”

“No, I don’t need help. I just need to figure out why I’m shy.” Jaejoong’s voice comes out harsher than he intends, but he knows Yunho doesn’t take it personally.

“Would it help if I looked away?”

Jaejoong huffs irritatedly, trying to push his jeans down, but he really is frozen. He’s not anxious about his body, far from it. Enough people have seen him naked that he should be completely immune by now. Hell, he’s even done photoshoots in the nude, and he had taken a great deal of pleasure in flustering people by strutting around butt naked, smoking a joint, and not giving a fuck about who stares at him.

But here, now, in the confines of this large bathroom, in front of the man he had fallen in love with before he had even met him, he is paralysed by shyness.

The realisation is slow, but it finally comes.

He is afraid of disappointing him.

“Talk to me.”

“What?”

“Talk to me. Tell me what you want to do to me. Talk to me. I know why I’m shy, and it’s because of you. I need to know you won’t find me wanting. Talk to me.”

“I will never find you wanting, Jae.”

“Just do it.”

Yunho watches the older man, whose doe eyes are large and dewy. He honestly does look like a deer caught in the headlights, and he marvels at that. Hero Jaejoong is in his bathroom, and unable to move because he doesn’t want to disappoint him. He will never be disappointed. Never.

He leans back in the tub, straightening out, arching his back to loosen it, before he sinks down into the water, his eyes shut as he starts to speak.

“I love it when you fit yourself against my side. Our bodies are both hard, and unyielding, but somehow you manage to fit your dips and planes into mine. I felt the loss acutely when you finally gained enough courage to step away from me at my parents’ house. I had to fight the urge to tug you back into place, under my arm, against my side. You skin is so smooth, so unbelievably smooth, but it is hard, and so beautiful. I want to kiss you. Every inch of you. Writing my name upon your skin with my mouth, tracing my lips across your shoulder, and down to your nipples. My sister has a topless photo of you in her room, though to be honest, I think you were actually completely naked, because the poster dipped rather low and it really didn’t look like you were wearing pants. I should probably talk to her about removing it because that’s just weird. I know your favourite spot, but I haven’t told you mine. I like that bit of skin above the pelvic bone. Like your favourite spot, no matter how hard a person is, that spot is always soft. I like kissing it, and then moving lower…”

Yunho pauses, smiling as he feels Jaejoong step into the bath. He doesn’t open his eyes though, as he spreads his legs a little wider so Jae can settle between them.

“That’s also why belly piercings drive me crazy. It is so close to my favourite spot, like a beacon, accentuating, inviting me to come closer. Teasing me. And yours just had to be red didn’t it? Do you have a red room, baby? I have a feeling the feature wall in your bedroom is red isn’t it, baby? And then that other piercing…you just killed me with that. You’re killing me now, because…because…i’m thinking…wondering what it would feel like in me…”

Jaejoong’s eyes are riveted to Yunho’s cock, that he can see through the clear water. Yunho hasn’t put anything in the bath, and there are no jets. He wonders whether it’s a trick of the water, making things look magnified, but he has a feeling it isn’t. His physics knowledge isn’t that great, but there really isn’t very much water above Yunho’s waist to distort what is underneath that greatly. He can hear the younger man talking, voice low, caressing and falling over his skin, making him shiver. His cock is full once again, filling at the words, filling even more at the sight. Filling at imagining Yunho wrapped around it… But somehow, he has the feeling he might not get any gratification tonight.

And while Hero Jaejoong would have pitched a fit at being denied an orgasm, Kim Jaejoong is not worried about it.

He turns, lowering himself into the very deep tub. Yunho’s feet are braced against the other end of the tub, but his head is barely above the lip of the tub. The water is still running, and the level rises even more as he sits, leaning back slowly in the warmth, Yunho’s erection is poking him in the back, but it is not being obnoxious, as he lets himself relax with a sigh, melting against the other man’s chest. With both their bodies in the tub, the water is now lapping against his nipples, and the sensation tickles, making him smile as he lifts a foot to turn the tap off.

“Do you know how fucking sexy that is?”

Yunho’s husky voice is right in his ear, the warmth sending tingles down his spine, as he tilts his head slightly, allowing the man more access to his ear should he want it.

“What is?”

“You, turning off the tap with your foot. You have gorgeous feet. So pale, and pretty… Are you ticklish? I want to suck on your toes and make you squirm.” Yunho breathes into Jaejoong’s ear, trailing his lips along the elfin curve, kissing at the piercings, but not doing more as he slips his arms around the older man’s body snagging his hands and lacing their fingers together.

“How long have you had your eyes open?” Jaejoong is trying to keep the tremor from his voice. He is used to instant gratification, not delayed, and the feel of Yunho’s body against his back is driving him crazy, not to mention his words. Words are their weapon, the only means of communication they’ve had so far, they are both very good with words. This is all new to him, and he finds that despite the tightness in his groin, and the reflexive clenching of his ass at the thought of Yunho, he is actually really enjoying just sitting in the bath and relaxing. He hasn’t been able to relax in years, and even at his parents, he’s not sure if he has ever truly relaxed.

But in this bathroom, it is just Yunho and him. The world bedamned.

“Not long. I opened them when you sat down.”

Yunho kisses his ear again, sneaking a lick of his piercings in his lobe, and then at that bit of skin just under his ear making Jaejoong giggle. “Are you sure my favourite spot isn’t your favourite spot?”

“It’s definitely one of my new favourite spots.”

“Do you realise we have a song?”

“That’s your fault, but why is it funny?” Yunho asks, in between nibbling kisses.

“Because it’s not one of my songs. I’m a fucking singer, composer, lyricist, you name it, I’m it and our song is by some emo American band. What the fuck?” Jaejoong shakes his head, finding the irony rather amusing.

“Is it really that important?”

“No…” Jaejoong tries to move, so that he can kiss Yunho, but the man holds him in place. “Why can’t I kiss you?”

“You can, later. We need to talk remember?”

“I was trying to forget to be honest.”

“I’m sorry, Jae.”

“Don’t apologise. I like your honesty. No, I love your honesty. Your honesty is making me honest and it’s a little disconcerting but I don’t dislike it.”

They sit in silence for a few minutes, Yunho nuzzling the side of Jaejoong’s head, trying to figure out where to start, while the singer is just content where he is, willing to wait for however long it takes the younger man. The longer the better. The heat from the water, and how comfortable he is, how he feels safe, is making him a little drowsy, and his eyes flutter shut, even as Yunho starts to speak.

“We can’t connect the dots tonight.”

Jaejoong’s eyes fly open, staring at the chrome tap. He was expecting that actually. Strangely, deep down, he was actually expecting that. He is a rock star, he has slept with far too many people, he doesn’t expect Yunho to be able to overlook that. It hurts, but it’s more than fair. Heck, he’d be cautious too. But Yunho’s next words shock him.

“I need to get tested again first. I don’t want to hurt you.”

Yunho can feel Jaejoong stiffen in his arms, the older man moving to sit up, but Yunho crosses their clasped hands across his chest, stopping him, his mouth still against his ear.

“Calm down, Jae. Let me finish.”

Jaejoong stops struggling, but he can feel anger rising in him. Not at Yunho, but at the irresponsible fucker who gave him the STI in the first place.

“I got tested about six months ago, and I haven’t had sex with anyone since then, but I just want to be sure ok? I’ve been clean for years, but I’m just a little paranoid when it comes to this.”

“What and who?”

Yunho sighs heavily, letting go of Jaejoong’s hands, rubbing his hands up and down the man’s upper arms instead, enjoying the hard muscle he can feel.

“This is where it gets a little complicated for both of us.”

Jaejoong doesn’t move. He wants to, but he doesn’t. Yunho is trying to rub his anxiety away, and it is helping a little, but his words are really making him worry. He is glad Yunho has let go of his hands, because he is flexing them right now, trying to calm himself.

“Chlamydia. It got a little out of hand because I was young and didn’t realise I had it. Only my teammates know this, not even my parents do because if they did, there would be a fuck load of trouble. A fuck load. My mother would bring hell raining down on him, and I wish I were exaggerating. I didn’t tell my other subsequent partners either, because I couldn’t trust them not to tell. I just made sure I was clean and left it at that.”

“And you trust me?”

“Yes. But I also believe I should tell you so…so you can get tested just in case.”

“What?!”

“You know the man.”

Yunho leans forward to hug Jaejoong around the chest, kissing the back of his neck, whispering softly as the older man stiffens in his arms yet again, trying to pull away. “You really need to calm down, Jae. Please.”

“How the fuck do you expect me to calm down?” Jaejoong’s words are loud, but no heat behind them. At least none for the young man trying to hold him still. “I’ve been tested. I get tested every month. I’m paranoid too, and I haven’t slept with anyone for over three months, and I got tested at the rehab clinic and I’m pretty fucking sure they’re thorough as fuck. I can get tested again this week. With you if you want to go together. I know doctors who are discreet. I can’t think of anyone I would have slept with that knows you though. Are you sure I know him?”

Yunho really wishes fate hadn’t played this game with them, but there it is. Their lives are intersecting on multiple levels, and this is one of those levels he wishes it didn’t.

“You broke his finger not too long ago.”

“No!” Jae wrenches himself from Yunho’s grasp, not caring that he has just sloshed a good deal of water over the sides, as he whirls around, eyes wide in horror.

Yunho sighs again, leaning back, tilting his face up to stare at the bathroom ceiling. He’s starting to rethink about this being a good idea. But then he doesn’t want to hide this from Jae and the man is bound to find out sooner or later. He will not put it past his teammates to accidentally let it slip.

“I was 19.”

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck him, I am going to fucking kill him.”

Yunho straightens, looking at the furious rockstar, holding his arms open, speaking quietly but with a hint of steel, of authority, the tone that his older teammates defer to immediately when they hear it.

“Jaejoong, come back here.”

Jaejoong stares at Yunho, at his serious yet calm face. How can anyone hurt this man is beyond him. Beyond him. He is going to fucking gut Seunghyun and string him up by his fucking entrails. But he obeys the quiet request, moving silently in the water towards Yunho. But instead of leaning back against him, he slips his arms around his waist, lying on him, his head tucked under his chin. He opens his mouth, licking at the drops of water on the younger man’s skin, as he struggles to calm down.

Yunho wraps his arms around Jaejoong, kissing the top of his head, before he continues.

“I didn’t know I had it. Seunghyun hyung—“

“Don’t call him hyung.” Jaejoong bites out.

Yunho chuckles sadly, pressing another kiss to the man’s head. “You will get along with my teammates. They probably hate him as much as you do.”

“I seriously doubt that.”

“You’ll have to tell me why you broke his finger. It was intentional wasn’t it? Did he really poke you? There were a few different versions of the so-called truth.”

“He didn’t poke me. It was intentional, but I didn’t mean to do it if that makes any sense. And yes, I’ll tell you. But keep going.” Jaejoong kisses whatever of Yunho’s skin that he can get, just pursing his lips every now and again, licking gently, more to calm himself down that anything else.

“Anyway, he was my first. And I was young, naive, and well, a little too trusting I guess. Ok, maybe more than a little. I didn’t really have any reason not to trust the man, and he took advantage of it.”

“What happened?”

“I guess you already know he cheated on me right? I didn’t even know that till he dumped me after he got what he wanted.”

“What did he want?”

“Money.”

Jaejoong’s arms tighten around Yunho’s body, but the younger man strokes his back, continually pressing kisses to his head, and he doesn’t move, allowing himself to be calmed.

“He had preyed on me from the get go, and because of who I am, he made up some excuse about how he couldn’t be with me in public. I believed him, because my parents didn’t take to him at all, and Jihye hated him on sight. And back then, homosexuality was accepted, but there was still a heavy dose of side-eyeing going on and I was an up and coming pro athlete, and I guess it just made sense. Objectively, it still makes sense. I just wish I wasn’t so naive. Ara clearly taught me nothing.”

Yunho pauses, taking a deep breath before continuing.

“But then I started feeling like he was treating me like a dirty little secret. I should have listened to my instincts, because he really was treating me like a dirty little secret. He cheated on me the whole time.”

Jaejoong is silent, thinking back on the time several years ago when there were rumours about Seunghyun being married or something. This must have been it. The timeline fits.

“And he gave you chlamydia?”

“Yes…”

Jaejoong pushes himself away, sitting up and looking at Yunho who is staring at his chest, lifting a hand up to flick idly at his piercing, but Jaejoong is not distracted. There’s a tone to Yunho’s answer that tells him there’s more. He puts his hand over Yunho’s, placing the man’s hand flat over his heart, and his hand holding it in place.

Yunho looks up, eyes full of sadness and regret, as he speaks. “I didn’t know I had it. I fell sick, and it got worse, and I was too embarrassed to tell anyone about it till it was too late. I finally told Junsu who took me to the hospital, but it was too late.”

Jaejoong reacts more to the look in Yunho’s eyes, than the actual words, his eye pricking with tears that he can’t understand why they are forming.

Yunho’s voice is hollow, dropping his gaze back to his palm nestled over Jaejoong’s heart. He can feel the steady heartbeat beneath it as he speaks quietly.

“It made me sterile.”

“No…” Jaejoong’s voice breaks as a tear spills over. God, how did a 19 year old deal with this. How does a barely 24 year old deal with this? How does anyone fucking deal with this? He can hardly breathe, choking on his heartache for the strong young man, as well as the impotent rage against Seunghyun. The man will fucking pay.

“Hey, it’s not like you can give me babies anyway.” Yunho tries to joke, but it falls rather flat, as Jaejoong leans forward again to bury his face in his neck shaking his head.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.”

“Don’t be. I made my peace with it years ago. We can always adopt. Don’t cry, Jae. Don’t cry for me.”

“This is why your mother will kill him?”

“Yes, and also the whole money thing.”

“Wait,” Jaejoong sits up, blinking away the tears as he stares at Yunho in growing understanding. “He set up an entertainment company not too long ago. He’d been trying to get investors for years, but no one would give him the time of day because while he is a fucking smooth talker, he had a reputation within the industry, and no one wanted to invest. But then suddenly he had the money to start the company. That was your money? How much did you give him?”

“About two billion won.”

“Two billion—“ Jaejoong chokes, leaning back further, staring at Yunho. “How the hell did your parents not notice that much money was gone?”

Yunho shifts in the tub, looking a bit sheepish as he stares at the rippling water. “I’m a trust fund baby. My parents will definitely find out sooner or later, but I’m hoping for later. I’ve been living frugally trying to replenish it so they won’t find out. It’s almost all there now. They won’t notice a few million missing.”

“Exactly how rich are you? Or them really… I don’t even know. Two billion fucking won what the hell, Yunho?”

“I don’t know…but uh, do you know Jung Group, the mainly import export company but we’ve also expanded into other industries, primarily real estate at the moment, and R&D.”

“The fuck? You’re those Jungs? Fucking hell. Fucking fucking fucking hell.”

“Uh…”

“Oh god you’re those Jungs. That explains the mansion and the house and and and…” he trails off, before he turns to Yunho, eyes widening, “your parents own the bloody building my agency is in. In fact, I think you practically own the entire block!”

“Well…”

“Jesus…why did you need to go online for a date? Seriously?”

“I could ask you the same question Mr. Rock God.” Yunho teases lightly.

“We certainly are a pair.” Jaejoong acknowledges, snuggling down once against on Yunho, cheek against his chest. “I’m so sorry, baby. So fucking sorry I can’t even articulate it.”

Yunho squeezes him close, nuzzling his hair.

“Don’t be.”

They sit in silence, in the cooling tub of water, just holding each other, cuddling, lost in their own thoughts.

“Is there anything else I should know?”

“About Seunghyun?”

“Anything, really.”

“Well, remember my four relationships? My first girlfriend was with me for the status. We were from the same social circle, and when she realised I was more interested in ice hockey than my parents’ company, and that my parents were more than happy to let me play, she dropped me to find someone else who’d take care of her I guess. She married some guy twice her age not long after we broke up.”

“Like I said before, blind. Not just blind, stupid. But her loss is my gain.”

“You can’t be my trophy wife. You’re too old.” Yunho teases, deliberately misunderstanding to lighten the mood, laughing and yelping when Jaejoong pinches him with sharp nails in his lower back, digging his nails in cruelly, even as he bites his collar bone. Yunho’s yelp turns into a moan when Jaejoong’s sharp teeth nip his collar bone, and then licks it in apology. He shifts under the older man, suddenly aware of his erection and how the other man will be able to feel it quite clearly, but even the brief twinge of shyness doesn’t stop his cock from filling.

“You’re clearly happy to see me. You weren’t kidding about the biting were you?” Jaejoong’s voice is husky, the smirk on his face translates to his voice, and he doesn’t bother looking into Yunho’s eyes, knowing what he will see there as he continues to lick, suck and nip at his collarbones and throat, trying to move a little higher. He smirk widens when Yunho’s large hand dips lower in his back, trailing just above his ass crack, before slipping lower and unashamedly squeezing an ass cheek.

“Jae…”

“I know, I know, no connecting dots. Doesn’t mean we can’t play. Though I do have a condom lying around somewhere.”

“Of course you do,” Yunho shakes his head, completely unsurprised. “Do you really want a condom between us for our first time?”

Jaejoong chuckles, kissing the pulse throbbing in Yunho’s throat as he tilts his head up, nosing the younger man’s jaw.

“You’re such a romantic. But I see your point, and I’m more than happy to wait. I love you, baby.”

Yunho smiles, his hand slipping back up to a safer place. In the small of Jaejoong’s back. “You said that very easily.”

“I did, didn’t I?” Jaejoong feels rather proud of himself because he had felt no knee jerk reaction to run helter skelter as far away as possible.

“I love you too.”

“I know.”

“So where was I?”

“Well, trophy wife wannabe. We can move on from her.”

“Well, you won’t like the next one. Seunghyun came after her.”

Jaejoong growls, not really soothed even though Yunho is full on rubbing his ass now, fingers even skimming the underside of his butt cheek, dancing lightly in the cooling water. He is trying to control his anger, and him not squirming and shifting, trying to get those beautiful fingers closer to his waiting entrance says a lot for how pissed off he really is.

“I was a little starstruck to be honest. He was much older and sophisticated and I really didn’t have a chance. I fancied myself in love, but now that I think about it, perhaps I was in love with the idea of being in love. I definitely didn’t feel anything for him the way I feel for you.”

“Thank god for that.”

Yunho tightens his grip of the older man again, squeezing him reassuringly before relaxing.

“Kangin hyung broke his face.”

“Your teammate?”

“Yeah, when I came out of hospital and confronted him, he broke up with me then. I’d given him the money a week or so before that and I guess he really had no use for me anymore. Hyung trailed him, and broke his face.”

“That was your hyung? I wanted to search for the man and congratulate him for a job well done at the time. Remind me to thank him. Hell, I might even kiss him.”

“Gross.”

“You haven’t kissed your teammates?”

“Well…”

“Jung Yunho! Are all those locker room rumours true?”

“What locker room rumours?”

“Just general ones…I don’t know, I don’t watch sport but there’s always this whole thing about the men’s locker room.”

“What about it?”

“All those hot naked men…

“Hot naked men huh?”

“Well, you’re a jock and you’re definitely hot…” Jaejoong pauses before continuing, “…testosterone running high, male bonding?”

“Oh, those. Well, uh, maybe?”

“Maybe? What have you done?”

“Jae…” Yunho’s tone is whiny. “I’d rather not talk about that.”

Jaejoong hums, ignoring the whine, pinching Yunho again to make him answer, grinning when he does.

“I’ve never kissed anyone but I did exchange drunken blowjobs with our goaltender, ok? That’s all. Ugh…”

“Was it good?”

“I honestly can’t remember. It was after Jihyo noona dumped me, and I think he was feeling sorry for me.”

“How do you know that? Maybe he has a crush on you?”

“Doubt it. He likes Jihye.”

Jaejoong straightens, mouth gaping. “Seriously? Oh my god how is that going to work? Why the hell did he give you a blow job if he likes your baby sister? I’m gonna kick him.” He furrows his brow as he thinks about Yunho’s younger sister. Like her brother, she is surprisingly good at getting under your skin and staying there, and he’s feeling really weirdly protective. It’s a strange feeling to say the least, but there you have it.

Yunho laughs, cupping his hand around Jaejoong’s cheek, feeling a great deal of affection for the indignant older man, thumbing his cheekbone before dropping his hand and continuing.

“Well, let’s just keep this between us alright? Jihye likes him too, and they fight like cats and dogs whenever they meet. It’s so funny to watch. Once, Mum actually told them to just kiss already and get it out of their system. That shut them up for five minutes. But then they got started again and we gave up.”

“How old is he?”

“Less than a year older than me. His birthday is in about two weeks”

“That’s too old for her!”

Yunho arches an eyebrow. “You don’t even know how old she is.”

Jaejoong looks a tad sheepish then. “How old is she?”

“18…” Yunho starts chuckling, “…their birthdays are actually a day apart. We used to tease them about it all the time saying they were meant to be because they were so close.”

“THAT’S TOO OLD FOR HER!”

“Are you telling me you’ve never been with anyone six years younger than you?”

“Touchè.”

Yunho starts laughing then, the sheepish look on Jaejoong’s face makes him look so young and adorable. “If it makes you feel any better, the way they’re going, they’re more likely to start World War Three than fall into bed with each other any time soon.”

“That bad huh?”

“You can’t even imagine. They’re both smart, and she sasses him just to get his back up, he takes her seriously when he really shouldn’t, she calls him stupid for doing so, and then they start fighting. It’s ridiculous.”

Jaejoong smiles wryly, leaning forward to once again circle his arms around Yunho, resting his head on his chest, but a little lower than earlier, his chin dipped in the tepid water.

“Alright, let’s move on. I can feel myself get wrinkly and at my age, I definitely don’t need more wrinkles.”

“You have a beautiful soul. I don’t care about wrinkles.”

“And you, my love, can charm the freaking horn off a rhinoceros.” Jaejoong’s voice is teasing, but he feels the warmth of the words. For someone so used to the world fixated on his face, on the outer layers of himself, on Hero Jaejoong, he has found someone who loves him for his inside.

“So, next is Jihyo noona. She’s a sports journalist, and well, I really don’t need to tell you why she was with me.”

“I feel like I need to make a hit list.” Jaejoong jokes half-heartedly. He knows how Yunho feels, himself always surrounded by people who always want something from him. Always. His arms tighten, rubbing whatever his hands can get to. He can feel Yunho’s cock nudging against his chest and the urge to drop his head and distract the man is high. But there’s only one more to go.

“Donghae is the last. He’s getting married at the end of the year I think. I was an experiment. A failed one, clearly.”

Jaejoong sighs, leaning in to flick his tongue against Yunho’s piercing. He feels the man twitch beneath him, and he smiles and wraps his lips around the metal, sucking gently.

“Jae…”

He draws back, lifting his hand to play with the piercing instead, as he too starts to speak.

“Since we’re sharing horror stories and all… You know I’ve never been in a relationship. Not even in high school or earlier. I broke Seunghyun’s finger because he started talking to me about a friend. A girl I considered like a sister to me. She was barely Jihye’s age when he got to her, and whatever he did to her scarred her enough for her to move to the United States and never talk to me again. He preys on younger idols, trainees and the like. Desperate men and women in the industry, which is why no one would invest with him, because the likelihood of them getting sucked up in his bullshit was too high. His company has never debuted anyone, and I think he has a figurehead CEO because he knows how bad his press is. But they do have a lot of trainees because out of all the companies, the fees for his are the cheapest. I’ve slept with far too many people…” Jaejoong trails off. He is suddenly exhausted, sleepy, and just plain drained. He could probably fill a book about his life as Hero Jaejoong, and tonight isn’t the night for it.

“How many?”

“You don’t want to know.”

“I wouldn’t be asking if I didn’t want to know.”

“Can we talk in bed? I’m tired.”

Yunho sits up, hugging Jaejoong to him as they both struggle into a standing position. Laying down for so long in the water has made their muscles much too relaxed, and they’re feeling a little heavy and lightheaded. They hold onto each other for support, barely even paying attention to the fact that they are naked, as they step out of the tub. Yunho bundles Jaejoong up in a towel he’s grabbed, sending the drowsy older man out the door to the bedroom, while he grabs the velvet case from the bathroom counter, before following after him.

When he enters the bedroom, Jaejoong is already in bed, the towel in a heap on the floor, and Yunho smiles. He drops his own towel, still holding onto the velvet box, before slipping into the side Jaejoong is in, coaxing the sleepy man to move a little.

“You’re on my side.”

Jaejoong hums, not bothering to open his eyes. “I know.”

Yunho shakes his head ruefully, pulling the older man into his arms and kissing his nose. “Wake up sleepyhead. I have something for you.”

Jaejoong cracks open an eyelid. He really is tired. Exhausted. While he did start of using it as an excuse not to answer Yunho, he realises that he truly is weary. A bone deep aching weariness from all that’s happened, and he just needs to recharge.

“What time is it?”

Yunho glances over at the clock by the door. “Almost midnight.”

“We’ve been together for five hours. I feel like it’s five months.”

“Is that a good or bad thing?”

“Neither. It just is.” Jaejoong closes his eyes again and turns, burrowing into Yunho’s side, a peaceful smile on his face. “You should feel so lucky. I don’t snuggle. Ever. I don’t cuddle. I don’t even like people touching me most of the time. And yet here I am, unable to figure out why I just want to hold onto you and not let go.”

“There’s nothing to figure out. It just is.”

Yunho returns his words, nudging the older man, placing the velvet box in front of him.

“Happy birthday.”







AN1: Chapter of revelation I guess… I seem to have a thing for them :-/ And if I lose readers because of the lack of expected smut then so be it because if you’re reading my fics for smut then you’re going to be sorely disappointed I’m afraid ;-) I’m more than happy to recommend smut authors to you though XD or get recs from others because I don’t actually read smut fics OTL

AN2: I’m not sure when I’ll be able to post part 2 up because I’m not done, though I already have over 3,000 words written… and I’m heading into a long board meeting so yeah… tomorrow at the latest. Cross your fingers and toes and send me some love :P


amazing update as always :) yunho is a bad boy! he really got jae a present haha

Sending you LOVE <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3 now LOL
I'm really really glad this chapter is how it is. TBH I was dreading smut right now because I feel like it'll be, IDK, just that I feel like it's not meant to be yet when they barely talked about Seunghyun. Like there's still something missing/wrong. LOL Oh dear god wait. Was this what JiHye wanted to tell their parents? She wouldn't know, would she??? Oh god oh god. Why is Yunho so unlucky in love? Damn. Now I understand the teammates' anger completely.
Thank you for updating. Good luck for the long meeting!

OMFG FLAWLESS UPDATE IS FLAWLESSSSS <333 Guh they're just so fucking cute and perfect for each other and seriously I can't with them. <3 I'm so happy that they can work things out so well and I REALLY HOPE THEY AREN'T GOING TO GET INTO SOME SORT OF DRAMA LATER BECAUSE OF MISCOMMUNICATION BECAUSE THAT WOULD REALLY SUCK ;A;. But seriously omfg that scene where they're just cuddling in the bath together is just alkhgdakjgdhaa so perfect. So sweet <3 YunJae fluff me gusta. And they both have had STIs? =O That's an interesting plot twist...I hope they both stay clean =( It's good they were honest with each other about it, though. ^-^ Honesty is the best policy~ CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEXT UPDATE, GURL <3 Thank you SO much for continuing this story, seriously <3 It's one of my favourites <3333

chapter of revelation it is! so curious about what hero jaejoong will do when he meet seunghyun again. and now im curious whether or not jihye knew what happened to yunho and what she's going to tell to their parents.

jihye x changmin! ajklfhasjkfjkafk!!! i can vividl;y imagine the look on their faces when mrs. jung asked them to just kissed already.

nothing beats cuddling with the one you love during the eve of your birthday! CUDDURS!

Oh baby I love this, omg Poor Yunho :<

And my heart was clenching during his story, and it almost fell when Jaejoong wanted to leave. AH WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MEEE

I must celebrate! ^o^
This is the fastest i have ever responded to your updates! (So far~ :P)
I really love yunho! :D
He was so young~ and its sad that someone so young had to go through such pain! And to the point where he could only confide in few people makes all the more heartbreaking. ~.~
Im actually glad that they had this heart to heart moment than sex. It really shows that their relationship is more than it being physical, but emotional! :)
Im curious to see some changmin and jihye scenes now~! XD
Cant wait to read the next part~!

This was better than smut! This was intimacy! Can't ask for more! Gaaah! :3

i feel like i want to kill seunghyun to arrrgghhh. and yunho is just so sweeetttttt.
cant wait to read the next chapter to find out what is jae birthday present lol.
thanks for update ^^

2billion won is USD1.88million. Bastard Seunghyun. Erm are you referring to Big bang's top?

I wonder if jihye is going to tell her parents about the sti, or about the fact that Seunghyun was making eyes at her.

i love this chapter, i'm glad they're keeping it slow on the physical side and how yunho is taking care of jae's safety.. i love the intimacy and how jae tells him saranghae so easily. last chapter and this chapter, i was on tenderhooks about how jae would react to the jewelry ring box, and i was so worried that he's emotionally not ready and would just run.. am pleased that he's seen the box and he's still snugged in with yunho in the tub and in bed.


yes, jae as yunho's trophy wife.. maybe yunho can be jae's trophy wife instead! i'm a confused person, i want so many stories...

i'm not the only one, when Mine MV came out, my sis was like , "oh, i hope this inspires nikkie to update possession". it's so weird, we can chat and spazz about your fanfics :D, we send messages to each other like.. oh, ice 9 is up, ice 10 is up, ahh,you'll squeel!! . i also tried to tell my hubby about this fic, about how jae's look during the performance in dome is based on the Mine MV and he was like.. er, ok.... he still cannot understand why i enjoy reading fanfics so much...

i also spazz about this story with your reader, remember the one you told me is from msia and going to sm town? :D she's an unnie, i think the first unnie that i know in the fanfic world! we went for the tvxq concert in hong kong but sat seperately, i'll be writing a fan account about that, once i clear the humoungous backlog of work from taking 2 days off..dont really want to go back to work, but Ice 11 is making me very happy.

ends rambling..

i love NC-17 (smut LOL) but the way you write the angst and drama parts of your story is too good to past (and i like drama series in a TV and it doesn't even have sex scenes so i guess i don't have a point LOL)...

i'm sure your readers like me would still follow you even without smut (but then again it's not bad if we get excited for it right?).. i just hope they won't fight a big fight that would devastate them so much..

hopefully part 2 would be up today... I use my lunch break to read kekeke... I feel sorry for Yunnie's failed relationship (I am such a Yunho-biased person)...

thanks for the fast updates...

Edited at 2013-01-22 05:00 am (UTC)

TBH, I am glad you don't write the smut. sometime, i just feel the fluff shud keep as it is... because IT JUST IS.... hehehe