beeswaxing (beeswaxing) wrote,

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Ice [15]

Title: Ice
Pairing: YunJae
Rating: NC-17
Length: Chaptered
Genre: AU, fluff, romance, mild angst, drama
Disclaimer: I don't own anything apart from the story. I wish I had YunJae and if I had my way, they'd move to New Zealand so they can be civil-unionised here

Summary: Yunho knows ice very well. He is the youngest team captain in the history of the best professional hockey team in South Korea, bringing his teammates to glory time and time again. But a little something has been missing lately, a spark that everyone has grown to recognise from the young man. His teammates know exactly what’s wrong but he refuses to acknowledge it. Jaejoong is much too young to be this cynical and jaded. At least, that’s what his parents say, but what do they know? They love their only son and only want him to be happy despite not agreeing with his rock star lifestyle. When the 29 year old finds himself in rehab after a sort of accidental overdose, his tearful parents give him an ultimatum. Now he has to figure out what to do with the ball of ice that is his heart…

AN1: I got derailed by my Sleeping Beauty muse… You’d think I’d have better control of my muses? But all of them are various incarnations of Jaejoong and you bloody try and control that man. It’s fucking impossible :-/ Also, totally haven’t re-read this cos I have to go to work and if I don’t post, I won’t get to till 7 hours from now lol.

AN2: This banner was done by unknowntibidip 


Jaejoong wakes up with a heavy arm across his body. This is becoming a rather regular occurrence and he finds it extremely endearing. The bed is large, king size, but yet he always somehow manages to find himself sharing the same pillow with Yunho. It doesn’t matter how they start the night, though granted they’ve only spent three nights together, but it is enough for him to see a pattern. Yunho always ends up plastered around him, snoring quietly in his ear. He usually sleeps on his back when alone, but three mornings in a row, he’s found himself on his side, being little spoon to Yunho’s big spoon.

He rocks his hips backwards, wriggling against the younger man’s morning erection, smiling when he gets a grunt and Yunho’s arm tightens around him. There is no further movement though, and he wriggles again, and he gets another grunt, though this time he can hear his name being mumbled in his ear. They did not leave the suite yesterday, opting to stay in and watch movies. Yoochun, Junsu and Changmin all turned up after the hospital appointments, and they had all spent the afternoon trading embarrassing stories about Yunho.

Ok, perhaps not trading since he himself doesn’t have any, but Yunho’s friends take great delight in sharing humiliating stories about their young captain. Yoochun and Changmin in particular are pretty relentless. The easy manner in which all of Yunho’s friends had adopted him, no strings attached, at least none that he can see, is warming up the iciness of his heart. Letting Yunho in had meant letting his friends and family in. There hadn’t been much of a choice. Yunho is far from being an island, and he clearly thrives in company. The team at large all treat him like a beloved maknae, but at the same time accord him the respect he deserves from his position. It is quite interesting to Jaejoong, to see the various facets of Yunho’s personality reflected in his friends. When the captain is serious, everyone automatically defers to him. When he is playful, everyone automatically reciprocates.

He had let his guard down yesterday afternoon, and while he barely shared any stories of himself, he had spent almost the entire afternoon curled up between Yunho’s legs and snorting and laughing at the other three regaling him with all of the exploits of the younger man. He had found it especially hilarious to find out the co-relation between Yunho’s love life and his playing on ice. He laughed for a good thirty seconds when Changmin had told him rather gleefully, that just before they had met online, Yunho had tripped on his own skates the same afternoon.

He can’t even imagine the man falling on the ice let alone tripping on his own damn skates!

He had also partaken in the apparent time-honoured tradition of teasing Junsu. The best friend of his boyfriend is a rather unassuming young man, who takes pretty much everything literally. His own boyfriend is the worst at it, but the serious yet sweet centre forward takes it all in stride. During one of their teasing sessions, Yunho had whispered in his ear that they both switch too, and Jaejoong had been rather amused at that. They had been going out for almost three years, and while Yoochun really is an incurable flirt, he would do absolutely anything for Junsu.

And since the topic had revolved around relationships, the natural progression had been Changmin and Jihye. Yunho’s baby sister had called her brother yesterday afternoon just as they finished their lunch. Changmin post food is a lot less snarky and annoying than he usually is, and the teenager must have known this. Jaejoong chooses to give her the benefit of the doubt regarding her timing.

Yunho’s smirk as he passes the phone to the goaltender had been wicked indeed, and not in the fun sexy way but in the evil way. The man had been too preoccupied trying to battle with Junsu over the last piece of chicken that he had taken the phone without protest. The change in his behaviour after putting the phone to his ear had sent the entire room into gales of laughter.

And yet again, just like the night before, he had listened to her screeching, making faces the whole time. She had been loud enough that the other four men in the room could almost make out every single word. By the time the half hour call was over, Changmin had an utterly resigned look on his face. When queried, he had simply shaken his head, telling Yunho to kill him if his sister ever gets her paws on him.

Jaejoong had spoken up then, defending her, pointing out that he had threatened two players because of Yunho, while she has to sit at home, beside herself, wondering if he’s alright, and he should cut her some slack and man up. The silence from the other four men had disconcerted him a little, and he’d immediately turned into Yunho’s arms burying his oddly warm face in the silent captain’s neck. The urge to be abrasive and rude to cover up his embarrassment had been strong, but he chose to seek comfort instead. What happened after will forever be imprinted on his heart.

He had suddenly found himself in the middle of a bear hug of sorts. Changmin had dragged himself next to Yunho and hugged him first, quickly followed by Yoochun and Junsu. He was in the centre of a very warm embrace, and it might be fanciful of him to think so, but he felt as if he could feel the affection from the other three men.

Nothing had been said after, and Yoochun had cracked a joke to lighten the mood, and everyone went back to the easy camaraderie they had started with.

What truly surprised him, is that he really enjoys their company. When they had first turned up, his knee jerk reaction had been to kick them out. But seeing Changmin looking pathetic on his crutches and the visible bruise on Yoochun’s jaw had thawed his heart enough to let them in. And while he and Yunho got teased a lot, especially by Yoochun about being like horseshoe crabs, he had taken it in stride. Yunho’s mouth against his ear is like a balm on his irritation at being made fun of.

He smiles as Yunho grunts again, pulling him closer, his erection now slipping between his thighs, and Jaejoong clamps his legs tighter together as he rocks backwards.


The rockstar hums in reply as Yunho’s hand slips down to fist his own growing erection. He is sleepy, and therefore a little clumsy, and he tugs overly hard at his piercing, but it sends delicious vibrations of pain and pleasure through Jaejoong that he rocks back once again, almost instinctually, feeling the hardness between his thighs and reveling in it. They have gone through almost half a box of condoms, kindly donated by Micky the Sneaky with a terribly knowing smirk on his face, but Jaejoong wants more.

For someone who doesn’t bottom very often, he is almost gagging to be filled by Yunho.

Being the more awake one out of the two of them, it is easy for him to turn and push Yunho onto his back, sitting astride the sleepy captain who rubs his eyes with those beautiful long fingers, his mouth pouty as he struggles to wake up.

“Why’d you move?” Yunho slurs, his voice still hoarse with sleep, rubbing the sand from his eyes as he stretches. He smiles when he hears the soft chuckle from the older man who has to hang on as he arches off the bed with his stretch. Jaejoong is not heavy at all.

“We have a flight to catch, baby.”

“Can’t we catch the next one?” Yunho’s sleepy pout is adorable as he blindly reaches up to tug the older man down on top of him. His eyes are closed once again, and he sighs happily when he gets his armful of rockstar. He nuzzles into Jaejoong’s fragrant hair, a stray strand or two finding their way into his mouth, but it doesn’t bother him.

“We can’t stay cooped up in here.”

Yunho cracks open his eyelids and smirks as he drops his hands to cup Jaejoong’s ass, squeezing hard and grinning as a soft moan escapes the singer.

“I think we missed a few dots.”


Jaejoong is pissed. Perhaps pissed is an understatement. Gone is the smiling rockstar from that morning. He is currently in the office of the Vice-President of his South Korean agency, cooling his heels, pacing back and forth like a caged animal, practically wearing a path in the thick Aubusson carpet.

Though really, heating his heels is probably more appropriate.

Yunho is at his parents’ home, and Jaejoong is meant to be there with him, but his security entourage had detoured. Bad enough they had insisted that Jaejoong ride alone without Yunho, separating them at the airport. Jaejoong had been about to cause one hell of a scene, but Yunho had hugged him, kissing his favourite spot and whispering, promising it will be alright.

He lied.

Hero Jaejoong clenches his fists, his beautiful face is twisted into an angry sneer as the Han Dong In enters the room.

The man is completely oblivious his rockstar’s countenance, too gleeful over his ideas and what it will all mean for them. He had been shocked to find out about Jung Yunho the way the rest of the world had, phone calls to Hero going unanswered though he really hadn’t been surprised at that. And then the hockey game theatrics that had cemented Hero’s new status as taken.

But then he knows his own idol.

Hero Jaejoong loves nothing and no one but himself. And this is the perfect opportunity to capitulate on the increased fervour for the supposedly-on-hiatus rockstar. And of all the people in the world he had to pick, he had chosen a saint.

Well, compared to Hero Jaejoong, U-Know Yunho is practically a saint. He hadn’t known who the young man was, but that had soon changed when he’d received various phone calls from a multitude of executives, and especially his own press team who had been beside themselves with excitement.

Jung Yunho is the heir to Jung Group, the largest import/export company in East Asia.

This is a golden opportunity and he is definitely not going to waste it. Jaejoong’s rather clumsy attempts at drawing publicity to them at the hockey game had been more than sufficient to have the headlines screaming about them for the last couple of days. Both in Japan and in South Korea, most of the tabloids and even the general news agencies have been reporting and repeating the same facts over and over and over again. Some of the more daring tabloids have even spent valuable pages on speculating about the couple. He’s even seen clearly photoshopped photos of the couple together, allegedly as proof that they have been together for several months now.

He has no idea how Hero Jaejoong met the “walking jackpot” of South Korea, but he is not about to question it.

“How was your flight? I hope the security detail is much more to your liking this time. We can’t have Anyang Halla play security for you all the time now can we?” Han Dong In starts guffawing at his own perception of a joke as he sits down at his desk.

He doesn’t wait for a response, quite used to the angry scowl on the rockstar’s face, that he doesn’t think anything of it. Heck, he’d been subjected to it and then some not too long ago when he’d had to face him to hammer out the details of his hiatus. Well, surely the star won’t want to remain on hiatus anymore. What was the saying? To strike while the iron’s hot? Yes, this is a marvelous publicity opportunity, and he’s not about to let it slip his fingers.

Hero is glaring at the stupid man currently smirking to himself. He is practically rubbing his hands together in glee, and in his experience, anything that makes the Vice President that happy, cannot be good for him.

“Sit, sit!” Dong In gestures to the seat opposite him as he rings for some soju from his secretary.

Hero doesn’t move, staying where he is, arms crossed.

The Vice President doesn’t notice as he rummages in his desk for something. He is interrupted by his secretary, a woman practically radiating wide-eyed innocence, who cannot be older than Yunho, who scuttles in with a tray of soju and shot glasses. She places the tray in the middle of the desk, and lets out a rather theatrical squeal as Dong In slaps her ass as she leaves. She sends a coquettish look Hero’s way as she walks past him, and the man, who had felt a brief moment of anger towards his Vice President, sneers cruelly at her instead, sending her practically running out the door.

Innocence really is just a fucking illusion.

Hero has learned not to take anything at face value anymore, and he is annoyed with himself for even feeling that brief pang of sympathy for the girl. He doubts she had gotten where she is through anything but whatever talent she appears to have in the bedroom. And judging from her current position, she must be bloody talented indeed.

He doesn’t bother feeling bad for his cynical thoughts. He is almost a hundred percent sure he is right.

Dong In pours out the soju, taking a quick shot before gesturing to Hero to take one too.

All he gets it’s a quirk of an eyebrow, but no movement.

“Come on, now! Have a drink! We must celebrate!” He pours himself another drink, feeling the warmth start to spread through him. Today is indeed a good day.

Hero finally moves, but it is not to take a drink. He stalks to one of the arm chairs opposite the Vice President, throwing himself into it with all the grace of a grumpy bear, crossing his legs and arms and just staring expectantly at the still drinking man.

“Exactly what are we celebrating?” Hero’s voice is cold, and deceptively mild, as he watches the uncouth fool chortle at his question, and take yet another drink.

“You of course. You and that golden meal ticket by the name of Jung Yunho.”

Han Dong In is unaware of the cold fury that has descended over the rockstar’s countenance.

“Excuse me?”

Now, had the Vice President been paying attention and not on his merry way to getting intoxicated, he would have heard the icy warning in Jaejoong’s voice. But he hadn’t, and thus he blithely continues, pouring himself yet another shot of soju.

“You, dear boy. On hiatus huh? How did you manage to snag South Korea’s walking jackpot? I didn’t realise the boy was gay. Or bisexual I guess, but then look at you. I guess anyone would be anything for you. God knows your fans sure are willing to follow you to the ends of the earth. Or even commit murder! Did they really send death threats to those Japanese ice hockey players? My, my, you can’t stay quiet can you? Controversy follows you everywhere.”

Hero drops his arms, his fists are clenched in his lap, as he leans forward, pinning the unfortunate Vice President with flinty doe eyes. The look in them are as hard as diamonds, but the stupid man is still unaware of the dangerous line he is treading as he continues on.

“I’ve already told the press team to send word to all the news agencies that you will be holding a press conference tomorrow with Yunho to talk about your relationship and a new tour with Yunho who will be a special guest. I’ve already told them to make the announcement. I’ve checked him out and the man sure can dance. I think he dances better than some of our new trainees. How lucky are you? Maybe we can convince him to sign on as some sort of part time idol maybe. We won’t need to put too much money into it. Maybe his parents will want to—“

Hero has heard enough as he surges to his feet, his eyes are blazing with anger as he plants his hands firmly on the table, leaning forward, practically spitting his anger and disgust at the oblivious man, so caught up in his excited plans that he doesn’t realise he has gone much too far.

“We are done. Done. I am ending my contract with this company effective immediately.”


“We are fucking done. I am not going to deal with leeches like you anymore. Do you fucking think my relationship is just another money-making venture you fucking asshole?”


Dong In’s jaw drops as he stares at the angry glittering eyes of the rockstar in front of him. He shrinks back as Hero leans forward, words dripping with ice, punctuated with a liberal amount of scorn.

“Done. I don’t fucking care what or how you do it, but you will retract every single fucking statement you have made on my behalf today. Every single fucking one of them. If I don’t see a full page retraction in each paper tomorrow morning, and if I don’t see it on the late night news, you will be hearing from my lawyers.”

Finally finding his voice, the Vice President stands, knocking his chair over, face splotchy and red from the alcohol as well as shock and annoyance.

“Don’t be stupid! Can’t you see what a golden opportunity this is? You’ve had some bad press lately what with your accidental overdose, and this is a fantastic chance to capitalise on your good press!”

Hero simply shakes his head as he straightens up. He stares at the man almost pitifully, so caught up in making money that the Vice President has just lost the company their biggest asset.

“I’m not the stupid one Dong In-ssi. Check the contract. We both have escape clauses and I am exercising mine. Good bye.”

And with that, he turns, hands in his pockets, deceivingly casual, but his heart is pounding as he leaves the office, ignoring the shouts of the Vice President of his former agency.

What has he done?

He walks as if in a stupor, not acknowledging nor seeing anyone, as the ramifications of his actions swirl in his head. He has been through this once before, been left out to dry by his first agency. And now, he has voluntarily hung himself out to dry with his second agency.

And all because of one man.


He bites his bottom lip as he enters the lift. He is vaguely aware of the people around him sending him sideways glances, but he ignores them.


It is not just Yunho. He has been wanting to do this for awhile. The disgusting abyss that is the entertainment industry has sucked almost all the life from him. In fact, it almost did take his life. Yunho is a convenient excuse.


Not an excuse, Yunho is a good reason as any. The catalyst to push him to be brave enough to take that final step to cut himself off from the world that has taken so much from him.

His family.

His independence.

His privacy.

His health.

His sanity.

His life.

Even his fucking face.

Jaejoong is done giving. People call him selfish. They call him demanding and difficult. They call him ungrateful and ungracious. They call him rude and obnoxious.

But until they walk in Hero Jaejoong’s shoes, no one has the fucking right to judge him.

No one.

They don’t understand his pain.

They don’t understand his loneliness.

They don’t understand that he just wants to be able to breathe as Kim Jaejoong.

They probably think he is over-reacting.

He has given everything of himself into the cesspool of the greedy, money-oriented industry he is in. At first, he had to out of necessity because it was the only way to survive. He allowed himself to be pawed and groped as a trainee, to be preyed on and raped in order to get ahead. His parents don’t know how bad it used to be for him. Time and time he had wanted to quit, but the fees, those yearly fees that his parents had worked so hard to pay for. The memory of that, of his mother taking whatever odd jobs she could and his father doing whatever he can, even giving up his own dreams so his son could fulfil his, that kept him going.

If his parents had the strength to endure, so can he.

Jaejoong had worked hard to be the best. And he is most definitely the best there is out there right now.

But for all of that, his voice, his training, the sheer hard work he puts into each performance and the giving over of himself to his songs, exposing himself for all to see, though no one ever bothered to look till Yunho.

All that has come to nought.

Not when he is still being traded as a commodity.

When his relationship is being used for the self-serving needs of his agency. Their greed is boundless, and Jaejoong has had enough.

The elevator chimes, and the door opens. The other occupants within the lift gasp in surprise, and Jaejoong looks up.

Four security guards are waiting for him. Their faces blank and empty.


He steps forward, walking out of the lift.

One guard puts his hand on him, Jaejoong shrugs it off.

Another places his hand on his shoulder, and he shrugs that one off too.

“Sir, you need to come with us.”


“Don’t make this difficult for yourself. The Vice President has ordered you to be detained.”

Hero Jaejoong stops then, turning and facing down the four security guards that are loosely surrounding him. His voice is cold and mocking.

“Really? Is he now a police officer? He has no power to detain me and neither do you. I no longer work for this agency.”

“Sir, please. Just come with us. I’m sure we can sort this out.”

Jaejoong digs into his pocket, pulling out his phone.

“Shall I call the police? I am being detained against my will. This is kidnap isn’t it?”

He dials, and one of the security guards tries to grab his phone, but he ducks, moving easily out from the circle that they had pressed him into, and he runs.

Jaejoong has no clue where he is going. He simply runs.

He runs like the wind.

He runs as if his life depends on it.

He is running to Yunho.


“I’m sure there’s been some sort of misunderstanding,” Yunho tries to speak, but his mother raises her hand for silence, eyes glued to the television screen. He turns to Jihye who is sending him a sympathetic glance, but she too remains quiet as both their parents watch the evening news.

Well, the evening news as of half an hour ago.

His parents record most news bulletins, to catch up on the news at their leisure, and they have been replaying the news from three local broadcasting agencies, as well as two Japanese broadcasters, and even an international bulletin.

Each are playing the same thing.

Hero Jaejoong, who recently outed himself as dating the Jung Group heir, Jung Yunho, is now preparing for a Best Of tour, hand in hand with the release of his Best Of CD set. The tour will feature his boyfriend Jung Yunho, also known as U-Know Yunho, the captain of Anyang Halla and former member of street dance crew JYJ. Hero’s agency has released a statement saying that there will be a press conference held at the Grand Hyatt hotel tomorrow at 2pm where Hero will be accompanied by the Jung Group heir. They will be speaking of the upcoming tour, in which Jung Yunho will be featured in a special performance with Hero Jaejoong. The agency has also mentioned that they are in discussion with Jung Group, to expand their influence into neighbouring Asian countries. We will bring you more details tomorrow from the press conference.

Yunho has been desperately trying to get hold of Jaejoong, but his phone is turned off. He has a feeling Jae hadn’t turned it back on from the plane, but his parents, especially his mother is viewing the silence as guilt.

“I have never ever been so wrong about someone in my life. I can’t believe I was played the fool like this.” Mrs Jung’s voice is icy, as the bulletin ends, and she presses pause on the remote, the screen freezing on the side by side image of Hero Jaejoong and her son, with the venue and time of the press conference underneath it. She turns to her son, her eyes are dark with suppressed anger.

“Mum…i’m sure it’s a misunderstanding.”

“What kind of misunderstanding is this? It was on Channel News Asia. That’s an international news agency. If it had just been within South Korea, I may have been able to write it off as a misunderstanding, but even the Japanese networks have gotten hold of the news.”

Mr Jung interrupts, seeing his son opening his mouth again. He is disappointed as well, and heartbroken for his son who is looking so lost and confused. “Sweetheart, you know what the press is like. Something goes on Associated Press and everyone gets a hold of the same thing and repeats it.”

Mrs Jung sends her husband a look, shaking her head. “Perhaps, but this definitely originated locally and I have not seen AP credited anywhere. The way the bulletins are worded tells me they got given a statement by someone, and that someone looks to be Hero Jaejoong’s agency.”

“His name is Jaejoong, Mum.”

“He is most definitely Hero to me right now.”


“Enough, Yunho! I don’t know what I’m angrier about. The fact that he fooled all of us, or that he broke your heart.”

“But my heart isn’t broken…”

“You don’t love him then?”

“Of course I love him! But he hasn’t broken my heart. I’m not going to jump to conclusions like you and Dad just did. I know him. I know Jaejoong and I also know Hero Jaejoong. They are the same person, no matter what anyone says, and this is not the doing of the man that I know.”

“You thought you knew Seunghyun too didn’t you? Look at how he played you? He was fucking around and you let him. He even preyed on your baby sister! Your baby sister! She was 14! Why would you be with someone like that? Why, Yunho? He even conned you into giving him two billion won.” Mrs Jung sees the shocked look on her son’s face, and she continues ruthlessly, her voice cold and cutting. “Oh yes, I know all about that. What kind of fool do you take me for? Do you take us for? I knew the second the money left your bank account, and I waited for you to tell me, but instead of telling me, I saw you dropping all of your savings into the account. And then all the pitiful salary you got from Anyang Halla, and then whatever other money you got given from us. Do you know how much it hurt to see you living hand to mouth, too proud to ask for help, to ashamed to tell us what happened? What happened to the Jung Yunho I raised? What happened to him?”

“Mum!” This time it is Jihye who speaks, her shock at her mother’s words. It was her who told her parents about Seunghyun sleeping around, and also about him hitting on her, even groping her once. But she really cannot see how it relates to Jaejoong. “You’re over-reacting. You’re angry because you think oppa two has pulled one over you or something but you’re wrong. I know you’re wrong. Stop being cruel just because you can. Oppa is your son, not your fucking minion.”

“That is enough!” Mr Jung’s voice is firm, as he pins his daughter with a look, and he grabs his wife by the forearm, squeezing it in warning. “That is enough from both of you. Darling, I know you’re angry but you need to get a hold of yourself. Yunho is 24 and more than capable of learning from his mistakes and fixing them. Remember how you told me how proud you were of him for working to fix the mistake he made? And now you’re saying he was too proud to ask for help and ashamed? You need to stick to what you initially said, and not just say what you know will hurt because you are angry and hurt and just want to lash out. You’re better than that.”

Mrs Jung slowly wilts with each word from her husband. She looks at her son’s face, and she knows she has gone too far as he stares blankly at the coffee table, his face ashen. But she is wrong as to the reason for his behaviour.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

His voice is barely above a whisper, but Jihye hears him, and she knows what he is asking. She winces, wishing she could take back her words, wishing she hadn’t told her parents what she did. She hasn’t really been affected by it. She had hated him on sight, and what he had tried to do only reinforced her hate. She knows it was him being evil rather than anything she had done to encourage his behaviour even though he had accused her of trying to entice him.

“Oppa…it was nothing. It happened so long ago.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I couldn’t. Don’t you remember what I was like at 14? Even I hated me. All of you barely tolerated my existence. Would anyone have believed me if I had told you then?”

The silence is telling, as the other three Jungs know the truth of the youngest Jung’s words. Yunho is finally the first to speak, his words slow and measured, as if needing to hear each word clearly.

“I would have believed you.”

“No, you wouldn’t.”

“I would have, Jihye. I’d believe my sister over my boyfriend, especially since you hated him the second you met him. I thought it was one of those personality clash things that you have with Changmin, but it was different. I remember now. I remember how you’d always try and leave the room whenever he was in it, and you never wanted to be left alone with him, nor sit next to him. I can remember this, Jihye. I would have believed you.”

Jihye starts to cry. The teenager cannot help it. Her brother’s soft words breaking through the hurt she didn’t know she carried over it. She did blame him for bringing Seunghyun into their home. While she had not blamed herself for what happened, she had blamed her brother for bringing the predator to her. She is once again 14, and upset, crawling into her brother’s lap and crying into his shoulder. Crying for not seeking his protection when she could have. Crying for the number of times she had been cruel or mean to him because of the residual anger she had against him. Crying because had she told him, she could have saved him a lot of unnecessary pain, for the man’s targeting of her happened very early in their relationship.

If only she knew exactly how much pain she would have saved him…

The room is silent save for the sobbing of a teenage girl, and the whispers of a man in his mid-20s, trying to soothe her.

The Jungs are interrupted by their butler.

“Mr. Kim is here. Shall I bring him in?”

Mr Jung nods immediately, smiling slightly. He squeezes his wife’s arm again in warning.

Jaejoong murmurs his thanks to the butler as he walks into the room. The media room this time. At least he can somewhat identify with that. No colour coordinated rooms for him. He can deal with a music room or a media room or a library, but yellow and blue and green? No thank you.

He had almost been hit by a car trying to get there. Oddly enough, one of his sasaeng fans had come to the rescue, letting him use her private taxi to get to the Jung mansion. She had known enough to not even try to see if he would let her come with him through the security gates. He had been let through easily because apparently his face had been given the stamp of approval to the security guard manning the entrance. He had let the woman take a photo with him, and signed her chest with a permanent ink pen. He has a horrible feeling she is currently on her way to a tattooist to get it indelibly inked into her skin, but really, that isn’t any of his concern.

Yunho has his back to him, and it looks like Jihye is crying in his lap. Jaejoong frowns immediately, wondering if something has happened to Changmin. He looks on to the Jung parents, and while Mr Jung’s face is somewhat welcoming, Mrs Jung’s is cold and aloof.

She has her mask on.

Jaejoong feels the invisible blow, and his steps falter. He tears his gaze from the parents to look around the room, and a soft sound of anguish escapes his lips, his face draining of colour when he sees the frozen screen of the huge television.

They must have seen the news. It is too soon for the retraction to have gone out, so they must have seen what the fool had sent to the press.

His eyes dart back to Yunho’s willing his boyfriend to turn, and as if hearing him, Yunho turns his head slowly. Jihye lifts her head as he does, and Jaejoong takes a step back at the pain in her wet eyes, and the tears down her cheeks. He stares at her, seeing the hurt, and he takes another step back.

He doesn’t want to look at Yunho, but the masochist in him makes him, and what he sees almost sends him to his knees.






He reads them all in Yunho’s beautiful almond eyes. And he cannot stay. He is no longer wanted. It really was too good to be true. They have taken everything from him, and now his occupation has caused him to lose Yunho too.

With a low cry of pain he cannot hold in, Jaejoong turns and he runs.

He had run to Yunho to find comfort and solace, to confide in the man of the almost surely catastrophic thing he has done to his own career.

But instead of comfort and solace, he is faced with a wall of ice.

The pain in his chest is unbearable, but he runs despite it. The constriction gets tighter, but he doesn’t care, as tears stream down his cheeks, unaware that he can barely suck in a breath.

It is not Yunho who moves, but his mother.

Like lightning, she streaks out of the room, long before Yunho even has the mind to coax his sister from his lap. She is still young, having had Yunho in her late teens, and she is very fit from weekly horse-riding, martial arts classes, as well as being a marathon runner.

Mrs Jung can run.

She catches the rockstar halfway down the lengthy driveway.

He slips out of her grasp, but she is more than determined. Her son’s happiness lies in the balance and what kind of mother is she if she doesn’t fix this mess she has made worse by her words and assumptions? She knows how wrong she is.

“Jaejoong, stop!”

And he does, but not because of her. She watches as Jaejoong falls to his knees, wheezing painfully, gasping for air. She knows it’s not because of the run. The man is having a panic attack.

She continues running down the driveway to the security shack at the gate, asking the man to give her a paper bag or a plastic bag, and he gives her both, being the good employer that he is, and she runs back to Jaejoong who is a crumpled heap in the middle of the driveway.

If the man thinks it weird that the lady of the house is running around barefoot on a winter’s eve, he knows better than to say anything.

She drops next to Jaejoong, pulling him up, hugging him from behind and putting the paper bag over his face.

“Breathe. You need to calm down, Joongie. Breathe!”

The pitiful yet rapid crumpling of the paperbag, tells her that he is not really calming down, and she unzips his jacket, using her free hand to rub his chest.

“Jaejoongie, you don’t want to die in my driveway. Yunho might kill me. My son loves you enough that I’m not sure I would win the choice battle between you and I.”

The rockstar struggles in her arms, but she is stronger than she looks, and she continues talking, mouth against his ear.

“You need to calm down, sweetheart. Please calm down. Focus on the paper bag. See how it moves with your breathing? You need to slow your breathing down. You’re not getting enough air.”

She can feel his heartbeat racing against her palm, as if it is trying to jump out of his chest, and her remorse is almost crippling. But she fights the urge to give in to her tears, fighting to keep the man in her arms from giving up.

“Calm down, baby,” she coos softly into his ear, as she continues to rub his chest. “Yunho will be really angry with you if you die. Calm yourself, baby. I’m not going anywhere. I’m not going anywhere and neither is Yunho. Don’t be scared.”

Jaejoong can hear her, and he wants to disbelieve her because he saw with his own eyes how Yunho looked at him, and even his sister, not to mention the mask this very woman holding him had. But her words and the way she is holding him remind him of his own mother, and he gives in and takes the comfort she is offering. Her presence is what is calming him rather than anything else. There is a strange ringing in his ears, and he is feeling really dizzy and weak, but he forces himself to focus on her voice.

Mrs Jung lowers the paper bag from Jaejoong’s mouth.

“Breathe with me, baby. Listen to me and breathe with me. Take a deep breath with me now,” Mrs Jung drops her hand to Jaejoong’s stomach, feeling it expand with the breath, and she rubs it gently. “That’s it baby, now exhale slowly.”

She repeats it several times, till she is certain that Jaejoong is breathing normally again, before she wraps both arms around him and hugs him.

“You’re alright, sweetheart. You gave me one hell of a fright there. You should thank your lucky stars that it is me out here and not my husband or my son and definitely not my daughter. My husband is useless in an emergency. He panics far more than necessary. Jihye will just start screeching and I’m sure that’s scarier than the actual emergency. And Yunho will just try and carry you to the closest hospital. Useless I tell you.”

Jaejoong lets out a shaky laugh, and it makes Mrs Jung smile as her arms tighten around him.

“Shall we return to the house? Can you walk? I can get someone to help you into the house if you cannot walk. Are you dizzy? Are you cold?”

“A little,” Jaejoong croaks out, his voice suddenly sounding foreign to him, and he shakes his head. “I can’t go back. Yunho hates me. I can’t.”

Mrs Jung, who still has one hand over Jaejoong’s heart, can feel the beating increase and she starts rubbing his chest again.

“Yunho doesn’t hate you, baby. You must calm down. Calm down.”

“But he looked…”

“That wasn’t directed at you. Jihye told him something about Seunghyun and that’s what you saw in his eyes. He never disbelieved you.”

“But you…”

“I saw the look on your face. No one can fake that kind of pain. No one. I thought I had you down wrong, but I was right from the start, and you must forgive me for thinking ill of you.”

“I don’t blame you.”

“No, you can blame me and you should. I jumped to conclusions when my instincts were screaming otherwise. I’ll spend forever trying to make it up to you.”

Jaejoong chuckles mirthlessly, “It’s ok, you have all the time in the world. I am now unemployed.”


“I quit the agency. I found out what they did and I quit.” Jaejoong laughs suddenly, a broken sound, more sob than laughter. “I quit. I’ve never quit anything in my life, but it was too much. They were trying to use Yunho too and I couldn’t take it. I’ve had enough…enough.”

Mrs Jung’s mind is whirling, as she holds the rockstar tighter in her arms.

“Are you able to do that? I thought it was hard for idols to get out of their contracts?”

“It is almost impossible, but the agency put in an exit clause for themselves after what happened last November. My lawyers negotiated an exit clause for me too…but I basically walk away with nothing.”

“Oh Jaejoong,” Mrs Jung squeezes him again, rubbing her hand soothingly up and down his torso. “Why?”

Jaejoong allows himself to be hugged, even relaxing enough to lean into Mrs Jung’s embrace. He wonders if anyone will think it weird seeing them like this. International rock star Hero Jaejoong leaning back against the Chief Financial Officer of Jung Group on the mild winter’s evening, in the middle of a driveway.

“I’ve wanted to leave for awhile, but I guess I never really had the guts to. Singing is my life, it is all I know. I’ve been looking at other agencies for awhile but all are as bad if not worse than the one I’m currently in. I thought about starting up my own, but I don’t have the time. And then when he started talking about dragging Yunho into this life. Into the life I’m trying to step away from, I guess I snapped.”

Mrs Jung kisses a cold ear as she listens attentively. They are both unaware of the footsteps approaching them till they are practically on them.

“Are you alright? What happened?” Mr Jung crouches by his wife as he reaches out to card a hand through Jaejoong’s sweaty fringe. The man is looking wide-eyed and vulnerable, completely unlike any manifestation that he has seen so far. He feels his son crouching next to him, and his daughter has settled herself on the cold ground behind her mother, hugging her from behind.

“We’re fine. He’s had a really bad day. Yunho can you carry him?”

Yunho wordlessly leans forward to scoop his boyfriend from his mother’s arms, standing without so much as a grunt from the effort. Jaejoong is looking anywhere but at him, and he hitches the man higher in his arms, kissing his cold wet cheek. He momentarily forgets his audience as he sticks his tongue out, and tastes the salty evidence of his tears and he kisses his way up to his eye. As he does so, another tear slips out, captured by his waiting lips.

“I love you,” he breathes the word out onto the clammy skin, and more tears slip out against his waiting lips. “I’m not going anywhere. We’ll get through whatever this is together, ok?”

Jaejoong finally turns his head, ducking shyly, as he presses his cold lips against Yunho’s warm ones, tasting his own tears as he sniffles and tries to deepen the kiss.

They are interrupted by an amused female voice.

“Oppa! Seriously, it’s cold out here. We have a huge house with a million rooms, go find one! Preferably as far away from my room as humanly possible.”

They break away as Jaejoong lets out a soft laugh, shaking his head. He finds Mr Jung carrying his wife as well, Jihye rubbing at her bare feet with a cheeky smile on her face.

“Take him to your room, Yunho, and make sure he has a hot bath, and then come down for supper in half an hour.” Mr Jung instructs as he turns to lead them all back to the house.

His wife peers over his shoulder back at her son and his boyfriend, catching Jaejoong’s eye. She winks at him.

“Make that an hour. I think I need a hot bath too and I will definitely take longer than half an hour.”

Mr Jung laughs as he tightens his hold on his wife, turning around to walk backwards up the driveway as he eyes his smirking son and his boyfriend.

One hour kids. One. I expect you in the dining room exactly one hour from now.”

Jihye makes a disgusted sound, grumbling as she follows her parents. “Dad! Enough already! We all know what they’re going to be doing. You didn’t have to emphasize the one hour. One hour probably means twice in their language.” She groans theatrically. “I might as well stop reading yaoi since my life is one giant manga.”

“You and I need to talk about why you’re even reading yaoi in the first place, young lady. Emphasis on the lady.”



“I’m having deja vu.”

“Really? So am I.”

Yunho grins as he feels Jaejoong’s sharp teeth nipping his collar bone, accompanied by the gentle sloshing of water as he shifts. They are in his tub, and have been conversing quietly for most of the hour. The hour that is almost up. So much for his sister’s prediction of yaoi coming to life or whatever. But in all honesty, Yunho enjoys the intimacy of their quiet conversation as much as the more physical intimacy.

He squeezes the man in his arms in a quick hug, feeling Jaejoong reciprocate as he tightens his arms around his back. His boyfriend is on his front, face nuzzled against his throat. It’s a good thing that Jaejoong had been on him actually because as he told his tale of woe from when they parted at the airport, Yunho had been angry enough to want to inflict some sort of damage on something. But Jaejoong had kissed it all away, soothing him, calming him even though he himself is the one that had been wronged.

They are lying quietly in the bath, Jaejoong absentmindedly licking at the moisture around Yunho’s throat, both lost in thought, when there is a knock on the bathroom door, and it opens partway.

“Is it safe to come in?”

Yunho looks down the length of the tub. They decided on bubbles this time, and both his and Jaejoong’s bodies are completely submerged and hidden by a layer of frothy whiteness.

“Yes, Mum,” he replies as Jaejoong groans, moving higher to bury his face in the crook of his neck, making him laugh.

Mrs Jung walks in and smirks at the sight of the rock star trying to hide his face from her.

“You’re pretty shy for an idol.”

Jaejoong mumbles something that cannot quite be made out by either Jung.

“What did you say, Jae?”

Jaejoong emerges from his hiding place, his face a little red.

“I said, I’ve never had a boyfriend.”

“Really?” Mrs Jung cannot quite contain her surprise. She turns to her grinning son, smiling as he presses a kiss to Jaejoong’s forehead. “Yunho you better look after him. If anything happens, I’m going to blame you because he doesn’t know what he’s doing and you know better.”

Yunho rolls his eyes, pinching Jaejoong in the side, making the man yelp and sit up. “You’ve clearly got the females in this house on your side. First my team, now my family.”

He gets a smack up the back of his head from his mother for his troubles as she makes tsking sounds at him.

“I just came in to tell you that supper is ready, and I’ve called your parents, Joongie. They say that they haven’t been hounded by anyone so I think your identity is still safe, but I’ve sent a car round to their home anyway just in case. They asked me if you could stay here for the time being and I told them I never intended on letting you leave anyway. I’ll get someone to pick up your stuff in the morning. In the meantime, I’ve left some clothes on the bed. You’re more of my husband’s build than my son’s though I didn’t give you underwear. I’m sure you’d much rather wear Yunho’s.”

And with that, and another wink, she turns and leaves.

Yunho and Jaejoong stare at each other.


“Is she always like that?”


“Yeah…I have no idea.”

Yunho shakes his head. “You don’t understand. My mother never calls anyone by a nickname. Ever. You got under her skin pretty fucking fast.”

”I’ve got you…under my skin.”

“I know that song!”

Jaejoong rolls his eyes and stands up, hopping quickly out of the bath before Yunho can snatch at him.

“You are the worst fan ever I swear to god.”

“I told you I wasn’t a fan!” Yunho yells out at the retreating rockstar who had snagged the only towel.

“Your sister is a better fan! Maybe I should marry her instead!”

Yunho is just stepping out of the bath when he pauses.

“Marry?” Yunho echoes, speaking more to himself than anyone else. He sees Jaejoong running back into the bathroom, his eyes wide, towel hanging dangerously low on his hips.

“Did I say what I think I said?”

Yunho reaches a long arm, snaking it low around Jaejoong’s waist and pulling him flush against him, the towel giving up the fight and dropping to the floor.

“What did you think you said, Mrs Jung?”

Jaejoong groans and starts pushing at Yunho’s chest as the taller man smirks down at him.

“Mrs? Mrs? I don’t recall being topped yet thank you very much! Technically you should be Mrs Kim!” Jaejoong freezes and lets out another groan. “Dear god what the fuck are we even saying? We’re both men, you idiot!”

Yunho leans forward, as his hands dip lower to cup Jaejoong’s ass, ghosting his nose along the curve of Jaejoong’s ear, his touch featherlight and teasing, as he whispers huskily in his ear.

“Can you tell me you don’t want to be mine? Imagine me parting your milky white thighs on our wedding night…”

The shudder that goes through Jaejoong leaves him almost legless, as he leans into Yunho’s strong frame. His boyfriend holding him as he closes his eyes.

Yunho smiles against an elfin ear, kissing at a piercing.

“Well, rockstar?”

“You are a brat.”

“Is that a yes?”

“What am I saying yes to?”

“Being mine.”

“I’m already yours…”

"Not quite yet..."

"I don't plan on waiting till the fucking wedding night."

Yunho laughs, squeezing Jaejoong close.

“Such impatience. Is that a yes then?”


AN1: Also, I think most if not all of you have noticed that the spin off to this fic is already up. Love In The Ice is a title I just had to use :P Uh… the comments for that fic just about blew my mind btw… :O SIX PAGES OF COMMENTS! :OOOOO Even more than ANY chapter of Ice. How is this possible?

AN2: Also, for those of you who have watched Paradise Ranch, I kinda modeled the Vice President after Han Dong Joo’s father (I actually can’t remember his name in the show so I made it up). Uh… basically Changmin’s father in the show :P He is such an obnoxious simpering idiot ugh… Ahhhhhh I want more Dong Joo-ah……… *randomly getting Changmin feels in the middle of a YunJae fic…great*

AN3: This almost didn’t get written because SOMEONE was giving me Changmin feels and suddenly Trophy Wife wanted to get written… OTL Btw, if you haven’t yet, follow me on @JungYunWhore cos my other account is closed to follow requests unless I actually know you. I deactivated because I had 40+ follow requests and after coming back from my trip, I had almost 20… So yes, please follow on the unlocked account.
Tags: fic:ice, pairing:yunjae, pg-13

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