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All skin and no shame

...innocence is just an illusion...


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Ice [18]
YJ06
beeswaxing
Title: Ice
Pairing: YunJae
Rating: NC-17
Length: Chaptered
Genre: AU, fluff, romance, mild angst, drama
Disclaimer: I don't own anything apart from the story. I wish I had YunJae and if I had my way, they'd move to New Zealand so they can be civil-unionised here

Summary: Yunho knows ice very well. He is the youngest team captain in the history of the best professional hockey team in South Korea, bringing his teammates to glory time and time again. But a little something has been missing lately, a spark that everyone has grown to recognise from the young man. His teammates know exactly what’s wrong but he refuses to acknowledge it. Jaejoong is much too young to be this cynical and jaded. At least, that’s what his parents say, but what do they know? They love their only son and only want him to be happy despite not agreeing with his rock star lifestyle. When the 29 year old finds himself in rehab after a sort of accidental overdose, his tearful parents give him an ultimatum. Now he has to figure out what to do with the ball of ice that is his heart…

AN1: I freaking wrote this in less than four hours and forgot to eat. Mistakes are all mine, and rambling and everything. I don't know how this is going to go cos hunger pangs!!!!! God... I haven't written this is awhile so please be kind. I miss them so much though you don't even know. I know a lot of you prefer Love In The Ice but I prefer Ice...

AN2: This banner was done by unknowntibidip

icebeeswaxing2_zpsefe5f3b4





If she had not done the exact same thing herself when pregnant with Yunho no less, she reckons she would have hunted the Kims down and dug Jaejoong out from whatever hole he has decided to bury himself in. The rock star has hired a PR company to handle anything he wishes to say to the public since he technically does not belong to any entertainment or management company now, and in a statement released at noon which her own press team had notified her of immediately, the man had publicly announced his non-association with her son.

---

The last week has been an exercise of exaggeration on the parts of the media and Hero’s former management company and Hero Jaejoong would like to assure his fans that he is definitely not going anywhere despite leaving his agency. Hero Jaejoong and Anyang Halla’s captain U-Know Yunho are not together at this present time. He is back in the studio now, focusing on his next album which he says will be his most personal yet, and different from anything he has previously offered and he hopes everyone will give it their love. The first single will be ready by the Fukushima Earthquake Anniversary Charity Concert on March 11 which he will still be attending, and he will be performing it live for the first time. He encourages everyone to not only give him support, but also to give the earthquake relief their support, as the first single will be available for sale from that day, with all proceeds minus costs to be distributed amongst the relief effort agencies still working in that region. A press conference will be held this evening in the Diamond Hall at the Grand Hilton Seoul. Fans will be able to watch footage from it on the official Hero Jaejoong YouTube channel which will be personally managed by the star himself. Please look forward to more honest and personal interactions from Hero with the fans that he cares about without the barrier of an agency supervising his every move.

---

She muses, leaning back in her chair and rocking idly, smiling slightly at the way he disavows his relationship in a short sentence in the middle of a whole heap of news. The sentence is abrupt and rather strangely worded for its length, and then as if it a mere afterthought, it is then buried under the news of his future activities and charity endeavours. It is interesting though, the way Jaejoong is putting himself out there.

And where does Yunho fit in all this?

She does not take his statement to heart, nor the fact that she had seen Jaejoong loading his car up with a myriad of luggage very early this morning just after dawn. The sun was not even up yet when the rock star had driven off down the long driveway.

Her thoughts are interrupted by a phone call on her private line, and she answers it immediately, thinking that it might be her son.

“Yunho, are you ok?”

Silence on the line. And she hears a sniffle and someone taking a deep breath.

Someone who does not sound like her son.

“Jaejoongie?”

This time the answer is a cough, as the person on the other line clears his throat in a familiar way, and she sits up in her chair, her voice exhibiting her concern.

“Joongie, what is going on? Are you ok?”

“I-I’m ok.”

“You don’t sound ok. Where are you?”

“I’m at home.”

“Home? Home, home? I saw you drive off this morning. Did you come back?”

Jaejoong’s chest tightens, unable to draw in his next breath, once again wondering if he has done the right thing. For someone like Mrs Jung to refer to her own family home as his home means much more to him than he imagines. How can he have said to Yunho that he has nothing? He has so much, and yet here he is practically throwing it away.

“I’m in my apartment.”

“Oh.”

One little sound, but a wealth of emotions behind it. He can sense her confusion, her upset and maybe even a little disappointment. It is hard to say from one word. One little sound. But Jaejoong has spent most of the morning in meetings, and this is his first real break. The entire time, the urge to ring or text Yunho had been so strong. He had gone to the bathroom almost every half an hour like clockwork, to wash his face and calm himself, and he knows without the shadow of a doubt that there is no way he will be able to cut Yunho out completely.

He never did answer Yunho’s question about whether they were breaking up, but he figured at the time that he did not have to.

“I’m sorry…”

She sighs as she hears the soft apology. She can hear the tears in the singer’s throat, and she settles herself back, sending a quick memo to her PA not to bother her unless it is an immediate family member.

“You have nothing to be sorry about. You know, I ran away from my husband when I was six months pregnant with Yunho. We had been married just over a year, and I had just graduated. We had a fight about which company I should work for after Yunho was born. He wanted me to work in his family’s company and I did not want that because I didn’t want people to say I only got the job because I’m his wife. He made a lot of valid points, most of which pertained to the care of our yet unborn son, and all I could think about was heir. Yunho is going to be the heir. I am just the vessel, and my husband’s family wanted to keep as close an eye as possible on me.”

Jaejoong makes a tiny sound, acknowledging that he is listening, his phone pressed tightly to his ear as he lies on his bed and stares up at the ceiling. The house is dusty and he feels gross and he really just wants to go home.

Home to Yunho.

“It took me about over a fortnight to realise that cutting off my nose to spite my face really isn’t the best way forward. Not to mention Yunho was kicking up a storm and driving me crazy. I think he was ice skating in my womb, doing triple toe loops and double axle jumps or something. I swear that boy knew something was wrong because the day I turned up at the door of my in-law’s, he stopped being silly.”

Jaejoong chuckles quietly, imagining a baby Yunho trying to ice skate.

“I think he was too fat to do those jumps.”

Mrs Jung laughs at Jaejoong’s observation, nodding as she agrees. “Yes, he was a rather fat baby. He always leaned on the chubby side growing up actually but his love for sport melted most of it away. I blame my in-laws. Every time I wasn’t looking, they’d feed him whatever his heart desired. Instead of milk they’d give him fruit juice. Can you imagine that? Yunho is already pretty hyper but high on sugar, he’s a nightmare. He’s the first male grandson on both sides of the family so he was more than a little spoiled. Tae and I did try to rub it out of him, and I think we’ve succeeded to some extent. He isn’t as bratty as Jihye at least who is so spoilt because she is the only girl on Tae’s side.”

“Oh I don’t know. He’s almost as bad from what I can see.”

“Have you seen enough though?” Her quiet question falls between them, and she can hear the intake of breath from the beautiful rock idol on the other line.

Jaejoong takes in a shaky breath, covering his face with a hand, massaging his temple as he thinks about how to answer. Stalling for time, he picks up on something she mentioned in passing earlier.

“Can you explain to me about your comment about cutting off your nose to spite your face? If you want to that is…”

Jung Ji Young is a mother first and foremost. Despite everything, her family is always the most important thing to her. In the very short amount of time, just about a week in fact, since meeting Jaejoong, she considers him a son already. Her private line is for family only, and Jaejoong is the first exception. She sees far too much of herself in the confused rockstar, and she can see the difference in her son when he is with this man, and she approves. They are going to have to muddle through quite a few things, but she has firsthand knowledge that doing it on your own is not as simple as one might think.

Nor is it always the right course of action.

“I felt like my husband’s family was trying to take over my identity, or at least trying to change me to fit me into some mold. Don’t ask me where I got the idea from. I have a feeling it has something to do with pregnancy hormones. But regardless, I have always needed to maintain this ball busting bitch facade everywhere I went. I topped my classes in every subject, and in South Korea at the time, it was a very painful pill for the males in my classes to swallow. They would use every opportunity to remind me of my inferior station as a female and I guess you can say I was bullied. I won a scholarship to study in England, and my own family practically disowned me for going against their will. I had to be a bitch in order to survive. There was no other way.”

“I know the feeling…”

“I know you do, which is why I’m not demanding you come home and stop running. I can’t give you advice like that when I myself ran.”

“I’m not running.”

“Are you not? Why did you leave then, Joongie? I saw you load your car up this morning, and my press team gave me a copy of the statement you released. Hero Jaejoong and Anyang Halla’s captain U-Know Yunho are not together at this present time. What is that even supposed to mean?”

Jaejoong sighs tiredly, digging his thumb and forefinger into his eyeballs, wincing at the pressure but yet welcoming the brief pain. He can deal with physical pain.

“I don’t think I’m strong enough for your son. I keep hiding behind something. My whole life, I’m hiding behind something. It is primarily my Hero facade, but then in this last week, I’ve hidden behind your son. You’ve had my sasaengs camping out on your gate, crazy fans hounding Yunho’s team, and then his car itself. Even my leaving my agency was in part because of him. He gave me the courage I needed to finally take that last step, and now I’m here. I’ve worked hard for everything I have, and yet nothing is mine. I can sing the songs I wrote and composed while in my last company, but anything else belongs to them. It doesn’t matter that they paid for the song and it is I who breathed life into it. Everything is their’s. That’s the agreement for me to be able to walk away. Nothing is mine. I don’t even know who I am anymore. Am I Kim Jaejoong or am I Hero Jaejoong?”

Mrs Jung listens attentively, and she replies with a question of her own.

“Am I a bitch from hell or am I loving wife and mother?”

“You’re…both…” Jaejoong trails off, removing his hand from his face and carding it through his fringe instead. His movements are agitated and had he been upright, he’d be pacing by now.

“You just answered your own question Hero Kim Jaejoong. I was hiding behind my own facade. I thought my husband’s family wanted to mold me into something I’m not. I thought they wanted to change me, and I thought all they wanted from me was Yunho. I was still struggling with being a female in a predominantly male industry and everywhere I looked, I viewed it all with a suspicious eye. Everyone’s actions were questionable. I never questioned my husband’s love or faith in me and I trusted him, but I trusted no one else. And in my struggle, I decided that I knew myself the best, and I needed to be alone to figure out what the hell was going on. I made assumptions based on my own view of the world as I saw it.”

“And so you ran away?”

She nods, even though Jaejoong cannot see it, accentuating her affirmation physically as she replies. “And so I ran away. I claimed to trust my husband, but I did not even consider his thoughts in the matter. He later told me he rationalised my actions and decided that I was right to have walked away, but he loves me and he can rationalise anything in relation to me even if I’m being irrational. But let me tell you, those two weeks were the most miserable weeks of my life, not taking into account Yunho’s daily attempts at going for Olympic gold in figure skating inside my body.”

She hears Jaejoong sighing loudly again, and she continues.

“Your struggle sounds similar to my own. You are unable to claim what is rightfully yours as yours, and I was fighting with society daily for my rightful place in it. You hide behind Hero, and I hide behind being a super bitch. It’s a survival mechanism and completely necessary, and personally, I don’t think you should lose that side of you. You just need to manage it a little better, and that comes with time. No one expects you to be able to work that out overnight, least of all Yunho. I’ve been married over 25 years and I still need Tae to reign me back in sometimes because I can go overboard.”

“Does it happen often?”

“At least once a week. I don’t know myself sometimes because I am so tied into my work that there are times where I wonder if I even have my own personality. I have a share in the responsibility for thousands of employees, and I owe them to do a good job. My work is my life, but my family is the air that I breathe to sustain that life. Without them, I am dead. I am nothing. Just because I gain part of my identity from my family does not mean I am subsumed by it. I am still my own person. Yunho has his father’s almost unbelievable depth for loving someone, and he loves you very, very much. And from what I’ve seen these past few days, he is more than capable of taking you in hand when necessary. I understand the drastic step you just took by leaving your company is overwhelming. And from what I’ve seen, and your actions today, I do think you still consider your career as your life to a great extent no matter what you said to me last night. Your life is not your own sometimes, because your fans also need a piece of you, the way my employees need a piece of me.”

Mrs Jung pauses, as she listens to Jaejoong sniffling quietly on the phone. She takes a deep breath, knowing her next few words may make or break this. She wants to help but she does not want to push the emotionally fragile man, but she wonders if he even sees the connection that she does, and so she vocalises it.

“Your career is your life. Singing is your life. But what is your air though? How do you breathe? Remember your panic attack when you thought you’d lost Yunho? You lost your air. I am not telling you this, Joongie. Your own body and soul is.”

Jaejoong is crying now, the phone clutched so tightly to his ear he is positive it will leave an imprint on his cheek.

Mrs Jung hears him, and her heart aches for him. She knows how he feels, and she wishes to comfort him. She knows her own son probably needs comforting right now, but she has not heard from him, and this man, whether he realises it or not, has reached out to her, and she is going to give it her all.

She knows no other way. She never does anything in half measures. She has instilled in her children that if they are to do anything, make sure to try their best and do it with excellence.

“Where are you, baby? Let me see you.”

Jaejoong is practically choking on his tears as he turns, face down into his pillow to stifle his sobs. Only his parents and Yunho have seen him like this, and also his boyfriend’s mother. He has no idea why he called her in the first place. He just needed someone and his parents have no idea that he has left Yunho. He had toyed with the idea of talking to them, but he remembers their “solution” to his stint in rehab. They believe a partner will give him stability, and so he discarded calling them immediately because he knows they won’t understand. He has no true friends, which leaves him with the woman he has grown close to in such a short amount of time. He admires her honesty, and her strength, and the way she still manages to show love despite her beautiful and cold exterior.

He lost his heart to her on the day of his panic attack. She had been a mother to him then, caring for him, and he had felt her sincerity and her love. It was her presence that had ultimately calmed him. That and her words.

”Calm yourself, baby. I’m not going anywhere. I’m not going anywhere and neither is Yunho. Don’t be scared.”

She had lodged herself firmly in his heart then.

His crying slows down, and he hears a quiet voice in his ear as she starts speaking again.

“You can find yourself with Yunho by your side. You are not hiding behind him, you are standing with him. There is a difference. Don’t be like me and spend however amount of time you think you need being utterly miserable. I pride myself on being intelligent but clearly, I wasn’t as intelligent as I thought I was. No one was out to get me. All his family wanted was to protect me. They wanted to protect me from the misogyny in the industry, and to give me the footing I needed to tell the world to go to hell on my terms. We want to protect you too, Jaejoong. I know I can speak for my family in this. Let us protect you.”

Jaejoong exhales slowly, trying to regain control of himself. He listens closely and carefully, and despite the tears, he never once loses sight of her. He focuses on her voice, and it brings him out of himself.

Mrs Jung is getting a little concerned with a silence, and she gets up, transferring the call to her cellphone, and leaving the office to head to her car.

“Joongie, talk me to me baby. Where are you? I’m coming to get you.”

Jaejoong whispers the address to her, adding that he will instruct security to let her up, asking her for her vehicle number and description which she gives him.

“Do you want me to call Yunho?”

Jaejoong rubs his face tiredly, shaking his head. “No, I’ll talk to him.”

The express elevator to the parking lot has Mrs Jung in her car in no time, and she continues talking to Jaejoong in the meantime.

“This is a rather random question, but do you know what Seunghyun did with the money my son gave him?”

“I have a reasonably good idea,” Jaejoong answers carefully. “Why?”

“You need some sort of management or entertainment company don’t you? What say we take back what Yunho’s money bought? I think Jung Group needs to branch out a little seeing as I have two family members knee deep in the entertainment industry.”

“T-two?”

“Jihye seems hell bent on becoming a stylist. I’m sure it’s just a phase, but if it’s what she wants to do then I’m not getting in her way. And then there’s you of course. Though I suppose saying you’re knee deep in it is understating it a little. From what I saw of that charity concert, you are the industry. Your former company has got to be the stupidest one out there.”

There is silence on the phone, and Mrs Jung’s mouth quirks slightly in a rueful smile.

“Joongie…I know it’s going to take time to get this though your mind, but you are no longer an island.”

Jaejoong hand is fisted to his side. He believes he has to do this alone. To find himself so to speak. But what if he was never lost? Just confused? Mrs Jung has a very strong personality, but she has merely been stating fact. Facts as she sees it, and as she has lived it, and he cannot deny the parallels. They are both different people, but similar enough that he is willing learn from her mistakes instead of making a similar one of his own.

Her words make sense, and he smiles as he realises a person can truly rationalise anything if they set their mind to it.

A thief can rationalise his theft.

A cheat can rationalise his actions.

A lawyer can make the irrational sound rational.

And when there is a goal in mind, a person can most certainly rationalise anything to achieve it.

And his goal is finding his way back to Yunho.

He chuckles softly as Mrs Jung hums questioningly, waiting for a reply.

“I’m learning. I’m a slow learner clearly, but I’m learning.”

“Don’t worry about the length of time. We are always on a journey for knowledge, whether about the world or about ourselves. If you have ceased to learn anything, you might as well be dead. I just learned today that I am suddenly very eager to learn more about the entertainment industry.”

“It is a cesspool,” Jaejoong’s answers warningly, his tone dire as his mouth curls in contempt at the memory of his management company.

“How about we make it a better place then?”

Jaejoong laughs, not meaning to, but the mere idea of it cracks him up, and he hears Mrs Jung huffing at him for his laughter. Her sulkiness is reminiscent of her children and he truly knows then where their brattiness comes from.

“You are way too idealistic for my industry. No offence, but all the money in the world is not going to turn my industry into a place of rainbows and unicorns.”

“And you are way too cynical for someone so young. We all have our spheres of influence, and we should maximise it when we can. I don’t expect to turn the whole industry on its head of course, but if I can influence a small part of it and improve it for the better, then I should do it. A supermarket checkout girl can influence someone simply by giving them a genuine smile. Most people hate supermarket shopping, and a smile from a stranger at the end of a bad day can make that person’s day. I know it can because it has happened to me. A simple smile made me go from wanting to fire half the accounting department to buying them lunch the next day and giving them the opportunity to air their grievances so that I can work on fixing the problem.”

“You make it sound so easy,” Jaejoong’s voice is disbelieving, and a little mocking. Really, he has lived in that bog of eternal stench for 15 years. He should know, shouldn’t he?

“Nothing is easy, but we should still do our best. Hero Jaejoong wields a vast amount of people power from what I’ve observed, and Jung Group is very influential in business circles. Circles that overlap with the entertainment industry. Don’t knock something before you’ve even done it, Jaejoong.”

“Do our best? You mean try our best?”

Mrs Jung wrinkles her nose as she enters the basement carpark of Jaejoong’s parking building, the license plate of her car already approved for entry from earlier.

“I don’t really like the word try. If you can do it, why say try? It’s like you’re setting yourself up for potential failure. I don’t really like that approach.”

“And now it all becomes clear to me how Yunho is the captain of his team…”

“And it will soon be clear to you that Hero Jaejoong has not lost his career, and he can still fill Tokyo Dome should he choose to hold a concert in the next month or so.”

“Is that a challenge?”

“Ball’s in your court, Joongie.”

“Remind me never to play tennis with you.”

Mrs Jung bursts out laughing as she exits her car and locks it, heading for the bank of elevators. Her laughter is extremely girlish and young, and quite a juxtaposition to the haughty, well-coiffed, icy beauty in a red dress that accentuates her curves and screams power.

She ignores the stares she gets, chuckling into her phone as she tells Jaejoong that she is going to stop by the cafe she noticed on the ground floor to get some food before coming up, and they can hang up now.

Jaejoong ear is hot from the length of time he has spent with his phone pressed to it and he rubs at it. He knows what he needs to do next, and while he does not look his best right now, a selca might ease his way back into his boyfriend’s heart.

He snaps the photo, before attaching a short message to it and sending it, hoping he will get a reply before Yunho’s mother arrives at his apartment.



Yunho is getting ready to go out, both Changmin and Jihye haranguing him into coming along for lunch. Junsu is coming along as well sans Yoochun, and Yunho appreciates his friends and sibling trying to make sure he does not feel left out. He knows they are trying to distract him after news of Hero Jaejoong’s press statement hits all the major networks and is broadcast on the noon bulletins.

His phone beeps, and he freezes mid-step. He has assigned personalised tones on his private phone, and that is the tune for Jaejoong.

Instead of running back into his bedroom, Yunho walks slowly out of his closet to the phone on Jaejoong’s side of the bed. He knows he is giving himself more pain than necessary, but he cannot help but think that way. It is too soon, and too raw to think otherwise. He dares not hope for good news with the message, but deep inside him, in his very soul, a drop of hope falls, its influence rippling out till he is able to pick up the phone to check the message.

JJ18a

The pain that hits him when he sees what Jaejoong has sent makes him fist his hand and bite his lower lip hard, just to stave off the wave upset that he feels. His boyfriend…or is it ex-boyfriend? He is not sure anymore, but that selca hurts. He barely even registers the words, as he stares at the pale, natural face of the older man. But what hurts the most is the look in his eyes.

Jaejoong looks like he has been crying.

Why is he doing this? Why are they doing this? Has he never heard of the saying united we stand, divided we fall?

He finally tears his eyes away from the photo to look at the words accompanying it.

I’ll come back to you soon… I miss you so much.

How soon is now?

He sits down on the edge of the bed, and he types a reply.

You look like you’ve been crying. Don’t cry…

Jaejoong chews on his bottom lip, his eyes pricking with tears again, and they fall as he replies, his fingers shaky as he tries to see through his tears.

You know we’re still together right? You understand that right?

Yunho clenches his jaw, feeling the muscles stiffen as he takes a deep breath before replying. The hurt when he saw the news bulletin is still fresh, and the pain from Jaejoong’s note this morning is still raw.

Hero Jaejoong and Anyang Halla’s captain U-Know Yunho are not together at this present time.

Jaejoong bites back a cry of dismay, and his fingers fly as he types back furiously. Damn the PR agency, good god. He knew he shouldn’t have listened to them. When will he learn to trust himself? To trust his instincts?

We aren’t together. You’re at home and I’m not. At this present time, we are not physically together. Yunho… I love you.

Semantics, Jae… When did you become a spin doctor?

Yunho’s matter of fact tone is killing him. He wants to ring the man up and rail at him for not even giving him a full day before giving up on him, but he knows that isn’t fair. He left. Yunho is understandably cautious. He pulls off his tee shirt, and gets out of bed, tugging the covers down and slipping into them. He does not care anymore that his potential mother-in-law is going to see him like this. If Yunho won’t forgive him, he is going to stay in bed. He takes another selca and sends it with a slightly longer message.

You’re breaking my heart… I know I broke yours this morning, but it hasn’t even been that long and you’re already giving up on us? I promised to come back. I am coming back. Soon in fact. Don’t you trust me?

JJ18b

Yunho massages his temple, eyes clenched shut to block out the pain. His boyfriend is definitely upset. He looks so vulnerable and hurt, and he cannot take it. Jaejoong is not playing fair. He walked away. He left. He doesn’t get to play the victim.

But that isn’t fair. They are both victims of their circumstances. Yunho cannot help that his Jae is Hero Jaejoong. And neither can Jaejoong help that Yunho is the heir to Jung Group. Their relationship is going to cause issues simply due to what they are, rather than who they are. Who should he blame then? Jaejoong had given him valid reasons for leaving, and Yunho had even acknowledged them, rationalising it, even though he does not want to. Deep down, he feels like it really is not necessary, but this is Jaejoong’s journey not his. He wants to travel with him, but he cannot force the man to take him along. And ultimately, he does understand where the beautiful man is coming from.

He does not have to like it though.

But he does not have to impose his dislike on Jaejoong either, and so he gives in to his true feelings, letting his own tiny little mask die a lonely death.

You are not playing fair. I miss you too. So much. Everything still smells like you. I even left my phone on your side of the bed from habit. Remember how we always wake up with both of us on your pillow? My phone was just easier to reach on your side. How soon is now, Jae? Because soon is not soon enough.

Jaejoong exhales shakily, relieved, as he sits up in his bed, typing out his reply.

I called your mother and she is on her way here. She wants to take on the entertainment industry. Soon will depend on her…

Yunho is strangely unsurprised. His mother and Jaejoong have had a weird connection since last Friday, and he is glad that his boyfriend turned to her for help.

She wants to take on the entertainment industry huh? Between the two of you, I guess soon will be tomorrow ;-)

She says I’m cynical. I really doubt it’ll be tomorrow, but I will be asking her to attend the press conference with me tonight if she can. Is that ok?

Why are you asking me? You do what needs to be done for you to come back to me. My mother is her own person. I trust her judgment. I love you.

Finally.

Jaejoong’s smiles as he climbs out of bed, cursorily fixing his bed before heading to the bathroom to freshen up.

I love you too. Thank you for being so patient… Can I see you?

Yunho frowns, staring at his phone and then back up as he looks out the window. He is really not yet in the mood to smile. Not even for Jaejoong because it will not be genuine and will likely come out as more of a grimace. He heads to the bathroom to look at his reflection.

What he finds is unsurprising. He is digging really deep within himself to be strong in the circumstances they find themselves in, and it shows on his face.

He stares at himself for a few more seconds before lifting his phone and taking a selca. The first shot shows the bathroom behind him and so he changes the angle instead of moving, and so the shot he ends up with is not dead on like Jaejoong’s. But a selca is a selca and he stares at it awhile longer before adjusting the photo settings and then sending it without an accompanying message.

Jaejoong is rinsing his mouth when his phone beeps and he almost knocks it off the counter in his haste to get to it. He is smiling when he opens the message, but the smile dies on his lips when he sees his boyfriend.

YH18

“Yunho…” Jaejoong whispers as he holds the phone close to his face, fingers tracing the strong features of his boyfriend.

Yunho looks like he has matured overnight.

Gone is the sweet and playful jock with the lopsided smirk.

In his place is a man.

A man that Jaejoong knows has enough strength to protect him.

To protect them.

Yunho’s strength is clear in his features, in the set of his jaw and the implacable look in his eyes.

This is a man who can stare adversaries in the eye, and then proceed to wipe the floor clean with them.

This is a man who can face the masses by Hero Jaejoong’s side and will come out stronger for it rather than weaker.

This is the man whose mother laments at his seeming inability to translate the cold determination he has on the ice into his real life and workplace.

And with one photo, Jaejoong knows for certain that Mrs Jung is dead wrong.

Yunho can do anything.

And he is Jaejoong’s.








AN1: Ok… Ch 11 was the Chapter of Revelations right? I think I can probably nickname this the Chapter of Life Lessons or something omg… My muse ran away from me. Jaejoong wanted to learn and so this all came out… OTL

AN2: If JYJ can sell out three nights of Tokyo Dome without having been active in Japan for three years and NO JAPANESE ALBUM, imagine what this Hero Jaejoong can do when he puts his mind to it, eh? He just needs a little prod…

AN3: Oh god… Jung… Jung… Fuck… I am whimpering and dying in need. Jaejoong, I hope you know how lucky you are. I seriously hope you do for god’s sake…

Homg.
I'm very glad that Jaejoong decided to turn to Yunho's mum!!!
She's a very wise lady C:
I believe that Yunjae will be able to work things out just fine~ Hwaiting~

Thank you for the update!!
I just finished re-reading Ice and an update appears!
Happy me :D

Oh JUNG!! Jae's a lucky bastard coz I cant seem to stop staring the hell out of that selca..

ahh..Life Lessons or not, this is possibly the chapter where they 'grow up' in their own way & are up to facing the world together as their own people. Not going to say much cause I've faced sort of a similar situation and this sort of brings everything back...

I adore Jung umma for taking JJ under her wing like that. He needs someone hardcore to understand his point like that..

Can't wait to see what's happening as the grand finale approaches..

Is this my first time commenting on this fic? idk really .__."
Anyyywaaayyy yaaaaay you finally updated ICE \:'D/ although I have been enjoying the Love in the ice, ICE is still my absulote favorite \;__;/<33

I just love jaejoong and Mrs jung's relationship T^T9 I'm glad she's able to understand and help him
No one breaks my heart like yunho does</3 that man, I swear. Just one tear drop from him and I'm a sniffling mess ;;;;^;;;; AND OMGGGGGG THOSE SELCAS!!!!!!1!!!;!!1 diffintely one of the main reasons why I like your fics DDDD'88 And seriously how soon IS now??? Can't wait till this whole mess is over with T___T Thank youuuuh for the update and please, EAT D'8

wtf i'm still not fast enough u_u

lol, i wish there was a *like* function here. I feel the same way!

spot! will leave message after I read~

omf, I'm loving it very much..I love Yunnie's mom very much...to think that they experienced the same thing...awww, I love it :D thank you very much for this :)

Mama Jung, I love you.

My God, Jae and Yunho's texts almost broke my heart. Dang that selca of Yunho's. I think my ovaries just exploded. >.<

btw, I love love love the way you wrote this. Ice is definitely one of my faves. :)

yay things are getting better!!! And epic chapter as usual XD

I <3 u Mrs. Jung... ^^

this fic is rlly one of the best fic i've ever read.. and i prefer this more than LITI tbh.... this is EPIC..

P.S : I do hope Jaejoong realize how lucky he is.. =)

urgh~~~
this update is killing me!!!!/cries in agony

i'm glad that jae turned to yunho's mom and that she knocked some sense into his head..be patient yunho!!he's always yours~~^^

This is my first time to spot anything but...can I be honest I am speechless..I love how deep your characters are..I love how deep jaejoong and yunho's emotions are expressed in this fanfic..I love the mom..and I love everything..Enough said!

how soon is soon?omg mrs jung.
i cant wait