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All skin and no shame

...innocence is just an illusion...


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Pardon Me
YJ06
beeswaxing
Title: Sleeping Beauty drabble: Pardon Me
Pairing: YunJae
Rating: G
Length: Oneshot
Genre: AU, fluff, angst for Jae, slice of life
Disclaimer: I don't own anything apart from the story. I wish I had YunJae and if I had my way, they'd move to New Zealand so they can be civil-unionised here :P

AN1: Jaejoong would actually kill me tbh… Errr happy belated anniversary? I bet he’d remember this one lmao :P

AN2: Un-betaed and although this is from my Sleeping Beauty verse, you don't need to have read it (ok this is a lie but only for this particular oneshot...you do need a bit of backstory so if you haven't read SB, I might lose you in some parts). All my oneshots and drabbles for the Sleeping Beauty universe can be found HERE








Jaejoong is the absolute picture of misery. His face is red from the exertion of holding it in, his nose scrunched and his jaw is tight as he clenches it. His body is as tense as a well-made bow.

But he loses the battle, and he groans unhappily as a soft sound escapes his body. It’s been going on for the better part of hour now, and he just wants to curl up in bed and die. It started a couple of days ago, and since Yunho has been away on a business trip he could not get out of, his husband doesn’t know yet what a rotten little stink bag he has become.

He glances over at the clock, and is horrified to see that Yunho should be home any minute now. He pushes the covers aside, rolling stiffly out of bed, and holding his breath. The visit to the doctor yesterday assures him that it is normal in both male and female pregnancies. That does not make Jaejoong feel the slightest bit better though, and talking to his sisters only makes him feel worse. They were in absolute hysterics when he had lamented about his predicament, and he had left the Kim mansion in an absolute huff, refusing to take anyone’s calls.

Surely he is entitled to sulk?

Why didn’t anyone tell him about this heinous side effect?

Even his mother was not sympathetic, saying that when she was carrying him, his father had to sleep in a separate bedroom for half the pregnancy. She was way too gleeful at what she considers payback.

How unkind. He was her last pregnancy, this is his first! Surely he deserves more understanding?

Jaejoong is pouting very determinedly.

He is about to pad barefoot out of his bedroom when a sound from the nursery diverts him there instead. He had put Jiyool down for her nap an hour ago, and the little girl had fallen asleep almost immediately. She should be asleep for another hour at least, but perhaps she is excited about seeing her daddy again. This is the first time that Yunho has left either of them for an extended period of time. Five nights to be exact, and Jaejoong is almost beside himself. However as of two days ago, he almost wishes that Yunho was not coming back for another few days yet. Maybe it’ll go away soon?

He opens the nursery door, just in time to see Jiyool, dangling by her arms over her cot, and drop to the floor.

“Jiyool!”

His voice is loud with shock, startling the poor baby girl who sits down on the floor from the sudden noise and starts to cry.

“Hush, baby girl. I’m sorry for scaring you.” Jaejoong coos as he steps forward to scoop the crying toddler into his arms. She immediately quietens, snuggling into his neck, and he rubs a hand down her back as he exits through to the playroom and then out into the hall, heading down the stairs to the kitchen. He keeps talking though, chastising her quietly for treating her cot like a jungle gym. She’s just turned eighteen months, and perhaps it is time for an upgrade.

He drops Jiyool into her high chair, and as he turns away from the baby girl, more air escapes him.

Jaejoong groans in distress once again, covering his face with his palms, unable to believe this is actually happening to him. Bad enough this first pregnancy is already making him behave borderline psychotic, his mood swings so alarming even to himself.

And now this?

“Mama?” A suffocated voice calls out from behind him, and Jaejoong turns to find his daughter making a rather awful face.

Her little nose is all scrunched up, her brow furrowed deeply and her mouth is all puckered like she has just been given a lemon or something.

He watches as the tiny little girl takes a breath, and then makes a face again.

“Stinky!”

This is the last straw, honestly.

Jaejoong throws himself into the nearest chair, staring at his daughter who is trying desperately to draw a breath of clean air.

Unfortunately for her, Jaejoong’s body decides to act up once again, and the poor little girl is drowned in yet another wave of unpleasantness. Silent but deadly appears to be the order of the day.

She starts to cry, arms reaching out in the direction of the very man who is surrounding her in a toxic cloud.

However, before Jaejoong can move, someone else strides past him to pick up the sniffling and choking baby girl. The smart little girl is actually reaching out for help from her daddy.

“Jiyool!”

Yunho grins cheerfully as he picks up his daughter. However, he takes a breath right then and instead of pulling the baby girl close, he holds her out at arm’s length, his nose wrinkling.

“Oh my god, you stink!” He turns to his red-faced wife, holding their daughter out between them. “What have you been feeding her? I can barely breathe.”

Not waiting for an answer, he returns his gaze to the now quiet baby girl who has two fingers in her mouth, sucking industriously. Apparently sucking is blocking her nose so her little nose hairs are no longer burning from the…smell.

“Jae, can’t you smell her?” He brings the baby girl close, but unbeknownst to him, his wife expels just a little bit more air just then, and Yunho quickly holds her away from him again as he starts to chide her teasingly. “Little girls should not smell so bad, Yoolie-ah. Why are you so stinky for such a pretty little baby? Is this how you greet your daddy?”

Jiyool frowns, understanding enough, popping out her fingers to point them accusingly at Jaejoong.

“Mama, stinky!”

Yunho turns towards his wife who is now beet red, and almost purpling around the edges as he is both dying from abject misery, and trying his damnedest to hold in the “evidence”.

“Jae?”

“Mama, stinky! Mama, stinky! Daddy! Mama, poo!” Jiyool declares, her dark almond eyes completely unamused. Eyes so dark that Jaejoong used to find almost scary because they conveyed blankness, this time conveys a hint of indignance.

Yunho brings his daughter close, balancing her in the crook of his elbow as he pulls her pants back to peer into her nappy.

He takes an experimental sniff.

And then he hauls her higher, his nose actually going past the waistband of her pants, sniffing hard.

Jiyool smells like baby powder.

Clean.

Which means…

Jaejoong coughs just then, and well, unfortunately for him, this time his lack of control is not silent, but it is most definitely still deadly.

Silence descends upon the kitchen, Jiyool once again with her fingers in her mouth, nose wrinkling almost beyond recognition.

Yunho blinks at his wife.

And in the next blink, an utterly mortified Jaejoong has fled the kitchen.

And Yunho lets him go.

He is a strong man, but well, this is going to take some getting used to…

He takes a few steps away, and then a few more, till he actually has to leave the kitchen before he can breathe easy.

His wife is nowhere within his sight and he lets out a breath of relief, before sucking in great gulpfuls of nice clean air.

Jiyool watches her father solemnly, as he tries to regain his composure from his rather unfortunate welcome home.

“Yoolie-ah…”

The little girl pops her fingers out, sniffing, before breaking into a wide smile, showing off her four teeth.

“Daddy.”

“How about we leave your Mama alone for a bit?”

“Mama, stinky poo.”

Yunho cannot help the chuckle that escapes him. His chuckling soon turns into laughter. And within a minute, he is all out chortling at the hilarity of the whole situation. Only four months or so left of this. God help him, how is he supposed to survive?

He groans at the thought, and his daughter must have read his mind, because she echoes her earlier words once again when she catches sight of her Mama exiting the hallway bathroom.

“Mama, stinky poo!”










AN: Consider this my revenge on Jaejoong for being such a difficult muse and never actually letting me have my way in anything. It’s always his way or the fucking highway :-/

Why did Jaejoong smell like stinky poo though? D:

he is having gaz issues dear. it is very commun during pregnancies...

I'm sure that Jaejoong would convince us that like all of his problems, this too is Yunho's fault!

LOOOOOOOOL Poor Jaejoong had to deal with farting problems XDDD


i can't believe you wrote this !!!
JJ would actually be mortified!!!
this is hilarious!!!!


Edited at 2013-06-11 01:44 pm (UTC)

Poor Jae, this first pregnancy must have been so hard on him.

Lmao! You're a scary woman to piss off!

Poor Jae. Gads, that must have been embarrassing! >.

Poor Jae ... He's having such a stinky time. I wonder if it's like this for all his pregnancies.

Dear god how much gas is he passinf that he himself smells o.o

ROFL!!
Thank god, Jaejoong will never read this because he doesn't understand English. ^__^

I was bursting out laughing.
Jung children are always so honest and straight forward.
They tell it the way it is.

Poor Jaejoong.
But I guess this is one time where Jaejoong doesn't get what he wants ^___^

Hahaha..
So jiyool thinks her mama is stinky poo...
Hahaha...

Thank you so much for the Drabble...I've always loved this verse...it's always a pleasure to read it^^

i think i have to read sleeping beauty,,all of it,,^^
really late reader,,>.<

omg, poor jaejoong,,>.<
hwaiting mama jae~!!!!!

Nicki... Jaejoong is now hunting you down for writing this... LMAOOOOO, I can see the Jaejoong's facial expression while reading this... OTL, he's gonna meet you with an axe in his hands... OTL OTL OTL
It's like seeing SB!Jae and ICE!Jae in a war... because for me ICE!Jae is so much like you... xD
anyway.. thank you for this chapter.. ^^ have a nice day!! <3

Edited at 2013-06-11 02:39 pm (UTC)

i didn't expect this but then..
HAHAHAHAHAHA! revenge indeed. lol

HILARIOUS!
definitely did not expect this ^^

lmao..got to agree.....excellent revenge..XDD