All skin and no shame

...innocence is just an illusion...


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The Tattooist [5]
YJ06
beeswaxing
Title: The Tattooist
Pairing: YunJae
Rating: PG-13 for now
Length: Chaptered
Genre: AU, fluff
Disclaimer: I don't own anything apart from the story. I wish I had YunJae and if I had my way, they'd move to New Zealand so they can be MARRIED here

Summary: Nothing has ever fazed him in his life. At 29, he is successfully self-employed, and doing something he loves which means going to work should really be enjoyable. What is that saying? If you work in what you love, you will never work a day in your life? This would be true if not for just one doe-eyed problem…

AN1: *whistles Troublemaker*

AN2: Your comments are making me smile tbh. The fact that some of you find the chapters as amusing as I do as I wrote it gives me pleasure because it makes me feel like i'm not the only crazy one laughing like a loon.

TT03





“Noona…do I need permission for a tattoo?”

Jin Hee blinks at her brother, stirring his porridge disinterestedly as he stares at the table top.

“Why do you want a tattoo?”

He shrugs, taking a sip of his milk.

“I’ve been thinking about it for awhile now, but I didn’t think I was allowed.”

“How big?”

Jaejoong looks up to meet his sister’s eyes. There is no censure in them, merely curiosity. His older sister used to be really uptight. An accountant by vocation, it seems to come with the territory. But ever since her marriage fell apart, and the death of their parents, she has mellowed out quite a bit.

He doesn’t really think about his parents, because to think about them is to hurt. With so many other siblings in the house, he is usually the forgotten child despite being a boy. Or maybe perhaps he is forgotten because he is a boy. The prettiest of all the Kim children happens to be male. He figures his parents did love him on some level, but he knows he disappointed them somehow by turning out the way he did.

The day before their death, his father had confronted him, asking about his sexual orientation. Jaejoong was only 14 then, but the walls of his room look exactly the same as the walls on all his sisters’ rooms.

Not a female in sight.

He tries not to think about that night, but the accusations of his father about his “abhorrent nature” and the way he had apparently thumbed his nose at all their beliefs, still sits like poison in the depths of his heart.

His mother had come in then, not to defend him, but to tell his father that “today isn’t the time”.

Was there really a right time for something like this?

He had been upset and numb at the news of the accident, but his final memory of his parents had not been a good one, and yet it is the clearest memory that he has of it all.

Jaejoong knows that he has his sisters to thank for him being the way he is. All eight are protective of him, but yet they are also happy for him to find his own way, never judging, and even encouraging if the younger noonas are anything to go by.

“Not big,” he finally answers. “Just words.”

Jin Hee leans against the kitchen counter, nursing her mug of coffee. All the other siblings have left for work or school. She has flexi-hours, her employer more than understanding and completely sympathetic of her family situation and thus she is always the last to leave the house, making sure all the younger ones are where they are meant to be. She will be taking Jaejoong to work as usual, his third official day today.

Yesterday’s conversation at supper had been the most interesting one yet. She has to hand it to Yunho though, the man does know a thing or two about self-control. The way her baby brother is, all wide-eyed innocence and runaway mouth, not to mention his complete disregard of personal space, she would have thought he’d cave in a lot earlier.

Jaejoong though, is far more comfortable around females, which is understandable. He had gotten into trouble when he was younger, for being too indiscriminate with his female classmates, hugging them, draping all over them, and touching them “inappropriately”. Her innocent brother though knows nothing else. She is just thankful the trouble he got into had been after their parents had passed away.

Her mouth tightens into a straight line as she thinks about their parents. Loving parents they were, but the way they had treated Jaejoong the night before their death had been inexcusable in her eyes.

She had overheard the argument, mostly one-sided on the part of Jaejoong. Her poor brother had been staring wide-eyed at their ranting father, and she believes he hardly understood half the vile crap the man had been hurling at his poor head. Jin Hee had been about to step in when her mother had passed by, stopping her and telling her to go away. The look in her mother’s eyes tell her that she knew about this plan to tell the young teenager off, and Jin Hee still regrets letting her mother chase her away.

And really, it’s a little rich for her parents to espouse morality anyway. Jin Hee herself was conceived out of wedlock.

Let the one without sin cast the first stone.

She lives by this, and tries not to cast stones herself. In this highly judgmental society, Jin Hee has chosen to try to be the opposite. And all thanks to her baby brother. Despite the hardship of the last few years, she has actually never been happier. Judging people reveals more of a person’s own character than it casts shade on the other. True, there are times when it is really hard not to be judgmental, but she keeps it to herself.

If you have nothing nice to say, then don’t say anything at all.

This mantra has kept her sane living with seven other females and a brother who appears to have no sense of self-preservation. When tempers are frayed and fights can break out at the drop of a hat at that time of the month, she has avoided many unnecessary arguments by remembering this. She tries to lead by example, the only way she can really keep all her siblings in line, and she appears to have succeeded so far.

She knows now that sending Jaejoong to work at Mirotic might be pushing the boundaries of acceptable “guardian” behaviour especially in light of Yunho’s most recent action. Isn’t she supposed to protect her still underage brother?

But she has truly never seen the boy happier than when he is at Mirotic. Balancing her morals is proving to be an extremely delicate task. People may question her willingness to allow her baby brother to associate with the likes of Yunho, but her extensive digging into the man’s background has revealed something that puts her mind completely at ease.

Her morals may be questionable at times, but Yunho lives by a code of ethics that has lasted hundreds of years. A code that will not allow him to harm the young boy. Any action on his part towards her brother will be spurred on not by his lack of self-control, but because of it. He will not toy with her brother, that much she knows as fact.

And so she will leave it.

For now.

“What sort of words?”

“Jail bait.”

Jin Hee chokes on her drink, spitting out coffee all over her nice clean blouse. Her brother’s giggling makes her shake her head as she scolds him for being a brat, leaving the kitchen to change.

Jaejoong cleans up his breakfast things, and the counter his sister had spat up on. His thoughts are all over the place as usual, but the central one is always the same.

Yunho.

He touches his bottom lip, ghosting his fingers over it as he blushes at the memory of yesterday. He had actually debated whether to wash his face and brush his teeth last night and this morning, but the thought of being dirty outweighs the urge to keep Yunho’s touch. He reasons that the chance of it happening again is rather high, but will drop significantly if he goes to work dirty and unwashed.

Jaejoong looks down at the top he is wearing and sighs. Speaking of dirty and unwashed, he really needs to do something about his clothes. A quick search through of his closet reveals that he really has nothing even remotely “alternative” to wear. Having lived in his uniform for most of his life, Jaejoong’s normal clothes are bought for him by his noonas. They are not rich, just comfortable, and he is easily pleased, so they stick to plain tee shirts, button downs in primary colours, and jeans. His leather jacket is a hand me down. The black pants he is currently wearing is probably the most “alternative” thing he owns. Costing him a pretty penny, it is his most favourite article of clothing.

He heads out to the car, sniffing at his top, meeting his sister at the door.

“Joongie, go and change. You’ve worn that top for three days straight now.”

“It smells like me.” He pouts and sighs, fiddling with the hem. “And I don’t have any appropriate clothes.”

“A plain white shirt will be fine, sweetheart. We can go shopping tomorrow for something a little more edgy.” Jin Hee knows that is in part the reason why he keeps wearing the oversized tank top, but she also knows that 99% of the reason he still is, has nothing to do with the lack of edginess of his own clothes.

She had also been more than surprised at the price of the top Jaejoong is currently wearing. Who pays almost 200,000 won for a tank top? She certainly hopes her brother doesn’t expect her to. She can get him a complete outfit for that price.

Jaejoong holds out the top towards his sister. “Here, sniff. Tell me if I stink.”

Jin Hee complies, taking a deep sniff, only to be assaulted by sweetness.

Her brother’s signature scent at present thanks to Su Jin.

She chuckles and shakes her head, stepping back.

“It smells like cinnamon hot chocolate. You don’t stink.”

“Then I’ll wear it today and we can get something else tomorrow. I’ll wash this tonight,” his voice has a forlorn note as he enters the car.

Jin Hee just shakes her head again. Her brother really has it bad.


xoxxx



Jaejoong is mopping the floor. The bottom of the long tank top is scrunched up at his waist, tied in a knot to allow him more flexibility of movement. Changmin, who has been observing him for a couple of minutes, thinks the move unnecessary.

“Did he do that yesterday?”

“Do what?” Nicole asks absentmindedly as she counts out the cash they have in the till and making sure it checks out. It is Friday and she’s meant to cash in the takings for the week after lunch. They are open seven days a week, though they start late on Mondays and end early on Fridays, giving them a measure of time out. Yunho and Changmin take breaks as and when they need them, and she personally doesn’t even bother. It’s not like admin work is so strenuous, and she’s as fit as a fiddle.

“Tie up his tank top like that. I can see his belly button.”

Nicole looks up, smiling at Jaejoong using the mop like a microphone stand, as he sings while he works. Her eyes drop to his waist, her smile widening at the sharp contrast of the pale sliver of skin compared to his black pants and black tank top.

“So?”

“So, nothing. I’m just wondering if he did that yesterday.”

“He didn’t mop yesterday because of his foot, remember?”

Changmin just hums, lost in thought, still watching the teenager when the sensor buzzes as Yunho enters the office.

The man has his head down, fuming a little as he shakes his wet head and pulls off his soaked tee shirt, squeezing it out rather disgustedly onto the floor as he does so.

“Hey!”

Three heads turn as Jaejoong approaches, mild irritation in his eyes, waving his mop like weapon of some sort.

He stops short in front of Yunho, tapping the man on the chest with top end of his mop.

“I just mopped the floor!”

Yunho blinks at the indignant teenager, wondering where on earth he had gone wrong when this mere boy is daring enough to raise his voice at him. Even if the kid refuses to call him hyung, surely he should be accorded some measure of respect for being his employer?

Though he almost laughs at that. He is a little hopeless at being an actual employer if Changmin and Nicole are anything to go by. But this is only the kid’s third day of work and he’s already acting as if he’s part of the family.

But who is he kidding? The kid has wormed his way under his skin already, and he does not look as if he’ll be leaving anytime soon. Mirotic indeed. He feels like the name of his establishment is almost mocking him right now.

He calmly takes hold of the top of mop still poking him square in the chest, jerking it forward.

He had only wanted to pull it from the kid’s grasp, but the hold the teenager has on his mop is clearly a lot stronger than Yunho had expected because the momentum slams Jaejoong straight up against Yunho’s chest.

The teenager lets out a breathless gasp of surprise at finding himself chest to chest with the object of his affection. He tilts his head up, suddenly seeing nothing but that beautiful cupid bow mouth. That bottom lip is so full and plush, and he has wondered many a time, and blushing like a crazy person in the process, what it would feel like to touch it.

His hand works before his brain catches up, tracing Yunho’s bottom lip with a light finger, as he marvels at its softness.

Yunho, already stunned at the unexpected impact, his nose filled with the familiar scent of cinnamon hot chocolate, is about to move when he feels a feather-light touch on his mouth.

“You’re so soft…” Jaejoong whispers. “I thought you’d be hard…”

Choked laughter erupts on either side of the odd couple, Yunho stepping back quickly, away from the impossible teenager. Jaejoong, losing his balance, leans heavily against the counter while still holding onto his mop.

“Are you sure about that, kid?” Nicole asks before catching Yunho’s look of disgust sent her way before breaking down into more laughter, completely at his expense.

Jaejoong nods, smiling widely, extremely pleased with his discovery. “He’s very soft. I like it.” He lifts a hand to rub at his own lip, shining eyes on the now scowling older man. “Did I feel soft to you? Or was I hard?”

Yunho gives up.

Seriously, there is nothing he can do to salvage this as Changmin and Nicole howl the house down, and the teenager just stares at him with those wide, soulful eyes, mouth pursed as if waiting for a kiss.

Soft? Hard? Would semi-hard work for the teen?

Yunho pushes past the three, unthinkingly handing the teenager his wet teeshirt as he walks past. He chews on his bottom lip to keep from actually voicing the thoughts in his mind. He is not a teenager. He is not going to blurt out every single inappropriate thought like Jaejoong does.

The door slams just as Changmin and Nicole regain some semblance of control of themselves.

“He’s back to being grouchy bear again,” Jaejoong observes as he props up his mop against the counter and shakes out Yunho’s wet tee shirt. He sniffs at it, finding that it smells clean. “Why did he give this to me?”

“Maybe it’s a hint for you to change.” Changmin answers, knowing full well that isn’t the reason at all.

“Does he want me to be wet?”

“Oh my god! Max, please help me before I die.” Nicole chokes out before bending over to place her forehead on the counter, shoulder shaking violently as she struggles to contain her laughter.

But Changmin is not in any position to help the blonde, moving away to the couch, stretching out face down on it as he howls into a cushion.

The teenager shakes his head at the crazy adults. Seriously, what has gotten into them today? He doesn’t really want to annoy Yunho though since he’s being all grumpy bear and all, and so he heads over to the back room, and knocks on the door.

A muffled go away is heard but the teenager is determined to figure out what the older man wants from him and so he keeps knocking.

The door finally opens, just in time for Nicole and Changmin to walk towards the back rooms, both wiping tears of mirth from their eyes.

“What the fuck do you want now?” Yunho growls at the teenager.

Jaejoong is unperturbed, lifting up the teeshirt to eye level.

“Is this for me?”

Yunho glances down at the wet teeshirt, vaguely recalling he wanted it dried, and so he nods. That’s the kid’s job isn’t it? Nicole can show him what to do. Why is he bothering him with stupid questions?

Jaejoong drops the teeshirt past his chin, his brows knit in confusion as he stares at the unsmiling older man.

“You want me to be wet today?”

Yunho stares at the clearly deranged teenager, because really, there is no other explanation. Jaejoong is batshit crazy.

Because if Jaejoong isn’t crazy, then Yunho must be the crazy one. He must be hearing things.

But that confused expression, with the parted mouth and spit slicked lips as Jaejoong licks at them while waiting for an answer, is a little too real. His imagination is not good enough to produce doe-eyed innocence of this calibre.

Innocent.

Jaejoong is innocent.

Yunho shuts the door in the face of that intoxicating beauty, banging his head against the wall next to the door.

The teenager on the other side sighs. The man is ridiculously confusing. How is he supposed to learn anything when he gets instructions that make no sense?

He turns to the two adults who are both red-faced with the exertion of trying not to laugh. He holds up the teeshirt once again, cocking his head as he tries to figure out what on earth Yunho means.

“Was that a yes or a no?”


xoxxx



Two touch-ups, one broken heart to the shoulder, and a month’s worth of paper work done ahead of time later, Yunho finally emerges from his cave.

Only to find the office quiet and empty.

He checks his watch and frowns. It is halfway through lunch, and everyone should be here. Nicole had even asked what he wanted for lunch, saying they were going to order in again.

Even as he wonders, he hears the lock in the door, watching as Changmin walks in, laden with food packets.

“I know you eat a lot Min-ah, but even that is way too much food for you, surely?” Yunho observes as he hurries forward to help the clearly struggling younger man.

“This is dinner too,” Changmin retorts, pleased to get some help with his burden. He leaves the door unlock, but doesn’t flick the closed sign off.

“Dinner?”

“Yeah, Nic says she doesn’t feel like cooking. Your tattoo consultation and my last client cancelled today so we’re done.”

“The Hello Kitty chick?”

Changmin smirks and nods. “Yeah, that one. Are you actually going to go ahead with it?”

Yunho groans as he sits on the couch, reaching under the coffee table for old newspapers to lay out on the table. “I’m trying to subtly see if she’d have it in black rather than pink. I can’t believe I wasted valuable minutes actually colouring in my sketches of her damn Hello Kitty to show her that black looks better than pink.”

“Work is work. We give the clients what they want, even when they choose an inappropriate sized ring for their septum piercing and end up looking like a cow, or when they want to tattoo their mother’s face on their chests and the least you can do is suggest that perhaps the back might be a better place.” Changmin declares stoically, though the effect is ruined by his subsequent chuckle.

“Don’t remind me.” Yunho groans again. “I’d almost take a pink Hello fucking Kitty over that one again.”

“At least he hasn’t been back.”

“I can only hope he decided it was a bad fucking idea.”

“How did you keep a straight face through that one?”

“You’d be surprised at how straight a face I can keep over anything.”

“Not Jaejoong though.”

Yunho’s scowl is immediate, making his friend chuckle yet again.

“See what I mean? I mention his name and your face changes.”

“What the fuck is wrong with that kid?”

“Nothing,” Changmin grins. “Absolutely nothing. He is as fresh as new fallen snow and as untainted. Blame our dirty minds for taking the things he says the wrong way.”

Yunho scoffs, as he starts to pull out packets of food, trying to figure out whose food is whose. “There is no fucking way he is that innocent. He fucking asked me if I’d tasted piss before. What kind of innocent asks that type of question?”

Changmin bursts out laughing at the disgruntled look on the older man’s face.

“I would give up Jae’s bulgogi for the rest of my life to have seen the look on your face. Knowing him, there was context. He didn’t just blurt it out, did he?”

“No,” Yunho admits. “But still, the level of inappropriateness…”

“Don’t think too much about it. It helps. Nic says the trick is to think like him. Don’t associate anything sexual to what he says, and you won’t be thinking he’s crazy.”

“And he gets away with it all because of his face I’m sure.”

Changmin nods. “Can you blame him though? That boy has a face that could launch a thousand ships.”

“Or start a thousand wars…” Yunho mumbles. “…and send a man to jail.”

The piercer chuckles. “If it makes you feel better, I really don’t think you’d be going to jail, bait or not.”

“Has he always been like this?” Yunho changes the subject, not really wanting to think about the ring of metal doors clanging shut on him because he cannot manage to keep his hands off the pouty teen. He knows Changmin is right though, but he is sure his reason for the surety of his future has nothing to do with what Changmin is thinking.

“Nic says yes. Though apparently it’s worse lately. But she said that he talks like this every now and again. She mentioned an incident a few months ago when he told her he likes to snuggle with pussy.”

Yunho stops what he is doing, his mouth agape as he stares at Changmin who shakes his head, mouth pulled into a wide grin.

“See? You can’t keep a straight face with him.”

“With a comment like that? Fucking impossible.”

“You do know what he meant right?”

“At this point, I don’t want to know anymore about that kid. I already feel like I know too much.”

The door opens just then, and Nicole and Jaejoong walk in arm in arm. Yunho feels a strange lurch in his chest, trying not to glare at the tall blonde currently kissing Jaejoong’s temple as she pulls away from him.

She digs out her purse from her bag, pulling out bank receipts to show Yunho who nods at the matching figures, before she heads over to the reception desk to put it away.

He realises too late, that the way he and Changmin are sitting gives Jaejoong the perfect opportunity to—

“Hello, grumpy bear!” Jaejoong greets cheerfully as he sits down right next to Yunho.

The older man tries to hide his flinch as their bodies touch from knee to waist. Jaejoong doesn’t seem to have any consideration for someone else’s personal space, though Yunho acknowledges it isn’t just limited to him. He is just as free with Nicole.

“Why are you wearing my teeshirt?” Yunho asks, suddenly noticing the boy’s change of outfit.

“Didn’t you say it was for me?”

Yunho sends a look to Nicole who has settled in next to Changmin on the opposite couch. Her smirk is wicked, and he knows this is absolutely her fault for not clarifying it for the teenager. He sighs and mumbles an affirmative, before leaning forward to grab a container of food, trying to surreptitiously inch away from the teen as he does so.

The gap between their bodies last all of ten seconds, as Jaejoong leans past him to grab a deep-fried shrimp dumpling, even resting his elbow on Yunho’s knee, before leaning back.

But he doesn’t move far enough as Yunho finds the teenager once again plastered to his side.

He is well aware of the tall smirking couple seated opposite him.

This is stupid.

He is feeling trapped in his own office.

Yunho takes a deep fortifying breath, only to have his senses filled with the heady scent of cinnamon hot chocolate.

“Do you even sweat?” Yunho asks before he can stop himself. He mentally kicks himself straight into purgatory for the question though, because any conversations related to bodily fluids that he’s ever had with Jaejoong have never ever ended well.

Blue balls, is not a happy ending as far as he’s concerned.

Jaejoong giggles, lips a little oily from the deep fried snack he has just consumed. He drops his chin and takes a big sniff, lifting his gaze to meet Yunho’s.

“I don’t stink to you?”

Yunho shakes his head, wondering if he should kill the conversation right this second while it is still staying within the realm of the sane.

But clearly, his mouth has other ideas.

Fucking masochist.

“You smell like cinnamon hot chocolate all the time. It’s weird.”

Jaejoong pouts cutely, staring at the man who is looking back at him with an unfathomable expression is his beautiful almond eyes.

“Weird? So you don’t want to drink me, then?”

And there it is.

Yunho had purposefully taken that step into the rabbit hole. It really isn’t anyone’s fault but his own. He can’t even blame Nicole and Changmin who are both trying desperately not to laugh.

“Unfortunately, I don’t think you’d taste the way you smell.”

“How would you know that?” Jaejoong demands as he leans across Yunho’s hard thigh once again to grab another dumpling. The man really is very hard…how is his mouth so very soft?

He leans back quickly, colouring slightly at his inappropriate thoughts, forgetting briefly his question as he places a tentative hand just above Yunho’s knee and hopes the man won’t notice.

“I tasted you yesterday, remember? You taste like strawberries.” Yunho’s mouth pulls into a wry smirk as the teenager blushes. This is more like it. He’d rather be the one throwing the teenager off balance than him being the one who feels as if the rug just got pulled out from under him.

Jaejoong smiles around his chopsticks, pulling them out of his mouth as he licks his lips.

“I don’t think I taste like strawberries anymore. Do you want another taste?”

Yunho closes his eyes, remembering what Changmin said about the kid.

Think like an innocent.

Think like an innocent.

He opens his eyes and grins, surprising both Nicole and Changmin who were prepared to laugh at his expense.

“I’m sure you taste like shrimp today, kid. I don’t like seafood.”

“How can anyone not like seafood?” Jaejoong asks incredulously, before starting to speak rather animatedly about how good his seafood stew is.

Yunho sighs in relief inwardly, acknowledging the thumbs up from Changmin and the knowing smirk Nicole sends him.


xoxxx



Yunho honestly cannot recall a more pleasurable lunch. The kid truly does say the damnedest things, but using Changmin’s trick has a helped a lot, though his friends don’t seem to suffer from any such qualms if their laughter is anything to go by.

Changmin and Nicole are more than happy to twist Jaejoong’s words to suit their own dirty minds, finding amusement at his innocent expressions, confusing the boy with their laughter, but clearly the kid is used to them because he doesn’t remark on it.

Not much, anyway.

And Yunho?

He keeps his sanity by pretending he’s thirteen and not pushing thirty.

Oh to be this innocent again.

“Do you have any plans today GA1?” Nicole asks as they finish packing up the food.

“He’s not GA1 anymore, noona.” Jaejoong scolds, patting Yunho’s thigh comfortingly as he wrinkles his nose at the blonde. “He’s been nice and non grouchy. He’s cuddly bear today.”

Cuddly bear?

Yunho can hear Changmin howling all the way to the garbage chute outside Mirotic as he takes out the trash. He has a feeling his father would legitimately expire from apoplexy if he could hear Jaejoong right now.

Cuddly bear?

If this is what moving to South Korea brings then Yunho will swallow it.

“Jae, honey, Yunho is about as cuddly as a pit of vipers,” Nicole cautions, suddenly remembering the man from yesterday morning. No way in hell would she describe Yunho as cuddly after that episode, good natured or not. The man has something in him that can strike like a cobra, and probably hurt far worse than the most venomous snake bite.

Jaejoong scoffs as he turns his body towards Yunho. He traces his finger over the face of the dragon on Yunho’s bicep.

“He grows on you. He may seem non-cuddly, but he really is cuddly. Just like Yunaconda. I thought he was scary at first but I think it’s just his eyes. If I cover his eyes and maybe his fangs, Yunaconda is just a black dragon.”

“Stop calling it that.” Yunho warns, the unfortunate memory of the kid naming his damn dragon like some fluffy pet resurfaces.

“But why? I think it’s a cute name. Right, Yunaconda?” Jaejoong leans forward, eyeballing the silent (ferocious) black dragon.

“I said no.”

“But—“

“No.”

“But—“

“No, kid. No, means no. Unless you want me to believe you are actually a child who cannot comprehend the word no, you better stop.”

“If I stop, will you stop calling me, kid?” Jaejoong enquires brightly.

“This is not a negotiation.”

“What isn’t a negotiation?” Changmin asks as he walks back into the office, putting the closed sign on and locking the door behind him.

“Jae wants to call Yunho’s dragon Yunaconda, but the grumpy ass won’t let him. He is now trying to get Yunho to stop calling him kid in return for him not calling the dragon Yunaconda.” Nicole answers helpfully, the glee in her voice unmistakable.

“An anaconda is a snake right?” Changmin asks, smirking as Jaejoong nods.

“That’s a dragon, Jae. Yunho actually has a one-eyed snake that would probably be better suited to your pet name.”

“Changmin…”

Jaejoong’s eyes widen as he turns to the older man currently glaring daggers at an unrepentent piercer.

“You have a tattoo of a one-eyed snake?”

He is going to kill Changmin. He is going to chop the man to bits, little piece by little piece, starting with his pinky and working his way from there.

And he will totally get pleasure from dismembering the man.

“Can I see?”

“No.”

“But—“

“No.”

“But—“

“I will stop calling you kid, if you stop with this whole Yunaconda business,” Yunho finally relents because he has a feeling the stubborn teenager will not let up. Even saying the name makes him cringe. How the fuck does he get into these things?

Jaejoong pauses, thinking about it for a moment.

“Oh, all right. I really wanted to see your one-eyed snake but if all your other tattoos are anything to go by, it’s probably very scary.” Jaejoong turns towards Nicole and Changmin who are thoroughly red with the effort of holding in their laughter. “Is his one-eyed snake scary? I guess you must have seen it. If you tell me it’s scary then I guess I’m not missing much not getting to see it.”

Nicole loses it first, bending at the waist, her head between her knees as she chokes on her laughter.

Changmin though, manages to compose himself, ignoring his hyung’s absolutely lethal glare as he answers the curious teenager.

“It is scary to someone who hasn’t seen a one-eyed snake before. It’s definitely scarier than most others I’ve seen because it is very big and has a giant metal stick spearing through its head.”

Oh yes, he is most definitely cutting Changmin into tiny little pieces and feeding him to the giant carps in the family pond.

Jaejoong’s eyes widen, his mouth forming a perfect ‘O’ as he turns back to Yunho who looks as if he is about to murder someone.

But before he can say anything, Nicole beats him to it.

“You have a fucking spike through the head? Oh, oppa…” she pretends to swoon, making Jaejoong giggle.

“I’ve never heard you call him oppa before.”

“That’s because I never wanted to till I discovered this interesting metal spike.”

“What does the spikey one-eyed snake have anything to do with you calling him, oppa?” Jaejoong asks curiously.

“Nothing.”

Yunho’s tone ends the conversation about snakes and spikes. Even Jaejoong thinks better of opening his mouth, while Nicole reverts back to her initial question.

“So, uh…do you have any plans today?” She clears her throat as Jaejoong looks back and forth between the adults and then sighs and settles in next to Yunho again.

“No, why?”

“I was talking to Jae earlier and we thought maybe we could all hang out and get to know each other.”

Yunho’s eyes narrow suspiciously. “What did you have in mind?”

She shrugs, her expression betraying nothing. “Some games maybe.”

“I know your kind of games, Nic. I don’t think the kid—“

“Hey!”

Jaejoong smacks Yunho’s thigh in protest, and the man doesn’t miss a beat as he continues.

“—Jaejoong. I don’t think Jaejoong is old enough.”

“I am too, old enough!”

“Alright let’s put it to the kiss test,” Changmin interrupts. “You, angry kitten, have you ever been kissed before?”

“I’m not an angry kitten!” the angry kitten declares, pouting like his life depends on it.

“Alright, pouty puppy.”

“Puppies can’t pout!” the pouting puppy protests.

All the adults are laughing now at the cute teenager.

“Fine, indignant kumiho.”

Jaejoong opens his mouth to protest, and then realises he really is indignant, and he is still wearing his fox tail. He stands up, twisting around, narrowly missing whipping Yunho in the face with his tail, as he unhooks the thing.

He sits back down, plonking the tail on the table.

“Not a kumiho.”

“You really are stubborn, aren’t you?” Changmin observes with a smirk. “Alright then. Teenage Jae. Have you been kissed?”

“Yes.”

All three adults freeze, mouths dropping open. His answer is completely unexpected, and it is Yunho who speaks first.

Or growls.

“Who kissed you?”

Jaejoong’s brow furrows at the belligerent tone in the man’s voice.

“You did.”

All three breathe a sigh of relief, though Yunho will never ever admit to being one of them.

“I’ve never kissed you.”

“Yes, you have. You kiss me all the time!”

“Jaejoong.”

“But you have!”

“Indirect kissing doesn’t count, Jae.” Nicole laughs, bringing the teenager’s disgruntlement on her.

“Hyung didn’t say what type of kissing.”

“Jaejoong, the fact that you think he had to specify the type of kisses tells you something doesn’t it?” Yunho asks.

“Well if you want to get all technical about it,” Jaejoong grumbles.

“I do.”

“Grouchy bear.”

“I thought I was cuddly bear?”

“Hah! See? You admitted it! You’re cuddly bear.” Jaejoong crows, deeply satisfied with himself if his happy grin is anything to go by, already forgetting the kissing debacle.

All three adults laugh, including Yunho. There really isn’t any way around it. The teenager is beyond ridiculous, but if he keeps resisting his pull, he will probably just find himself suffering more for it.

“So what are we playing?”

“Truth or Dare.”














AN1: Don’t ask.. Don’t ask don’t ask don’t ask… I don’t know what the hell to do with my muses. This started off simple, ISTG. I WILL KEEP IT SIMPLE IF IT’S THE LAST THING I DOOOOOOOOOOOOO //shakes fist at uncontrollable muses//

AN2: Also, I just realised someone sent me a message through LJ three weeks ago asking me to update AINI. I don’t check my LJ inbox because I have over a thousand unread messages and every time I click on it, I want to cry so I just don’t, so if you want to talk to me, find me on twitter @JungYunWhore or on beeswaxing.tumblr.com or on my ask.fm/jungyunwhore or you can email me. Details in the ANs for AINI.

AN3: Last offering before the weekend. I’m going to be busy with my husband *cough cough* so no updates till next week. Hope you liked this though I think at least half of you would want to feed me to Yunho’s family’s giant carp now… I do think I can keep this short. I think. I think. I THINK THEREFORE I CAN, DAMN IT!

Jaejoong is a master of sexual innuendos and he doesn't even know it
Truth or Dare in a fanfic, this can only turn out well for the readers
I swear I ask for an AINI update with every comment.
I'll miss your updates for awhile -SUCH A CLIFFHANGER!

I'm literally rolling on my bed and giggling at all the things jae say and omg I kept facepalming sfm

Oh my god!!!!! I can't with this!!!! This fic will be the death of me!!!! Jae~~~~~

I will comment when I can pick myself off the floor from laughing and rolling at words coming out from Jaejoong's mouth.

I would love to see yun's one eye snake !!

Oh the actual fucking god!! I read all five chapters in one way! This story ia so damn good! Amazing!! I am really captivated ㅠㅠ i love innocent jae, and picturing yunho with all those sexy tattoos will be the death of me. Thanks for keeping writing like this, your stories are all fab seriously! Cant wait for next update!

I would love to witness this hilarity first hand :)))
oh jaejoong... lol

this fic... me gusta ^_~, a lot :3
thank you ^o^~~

1st read I dead confused read this story but read the next and the next chap till this chap now I can laugh with two devil nic min about jj language hahahhah #sorry me really snail for understand this story#

will miss ur update nee, enjoy ur moment ;)

*facepalm* Gosh, the things Jae can say...
Truth or Dare makes me nervous! xD
Can't wait to see what the tall couple will make YunJae do!

Update! yay!! lol another aewsome chapter *claps* i feel bad for saying this but jae's parents sucked..but still love jae's innocence and how yunho is slowly letting jae get closer to him...

Enjoy your weekend with your hubby though and come back with more 'fun' ideas for yunho XD

Hahahaha...
ooooo... playing a very dangerous game!! hohohoho

OMG another update!!!!!!!!! Lol at all the innuendos that Jae unknowingly says.

chants yet again: LONG FIC LONG FIC LONG FIC

Call me sadist if you want but I really enjoy how Yunho suffers from Jaejoongs impossible innocence. I can't really believe he is THAT innocent in all. Really?? Is he?? Is he playing?
But either way it's just cracking me up and I really didn't expect another update. wow wow wow. Now we are pampered and will suffer from waiting... But hate me if you want... because I will pray that your muses won't vanish during your weekend...
Therefore *cough* have fun *cough* ^^

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