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All skin and no shame

...innocence is just an illusion...

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I don't have words right now and that hug honestly sums up everything I feel for y'all.

I also just wanted to clarify that my journal is not FRIEND locked. I put it all on private so it's locked for everyone. Only I can see my posts. Not even being my friend will allow you to see anything. I left the Dong Bang Daddies fic recs up because it isn't fair to the comm cos all this happened after they rec-ced my fic. Once September is over I will put them on private again.

I don't know if I'll be back. I'll keep writing but no clue if I'll be posting. My fics are literally like pieces of my soul. I write to feel what I cannot seem to IRL and I guess being violated time and time again is just too much. This is at least the fifth incident of translating without permission in 2013 (PLUS all the plagiarism crap too), and the main reason why I'm finally saying enough and making my journal private is because this person claims to have asked me, admitted that I said NO and then proceeded to do it anyway.

That lack of respect is just too fucking much.

I've said time and time again that I write for me. I don't need an audience. But I posted because it seemed to make a small part of fandom happy. In all the real life angst that is Cassiopeia, I thought giving something to you would be fine considering how much relief I get from losing myself in writing about these five men.

But you know the adage fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me? My tolerance level for these shenanigans has been pretty fucking high and I'm just done.


I'm really angry at that person.. Even if it's not my position to be angry at the first place.. But still i feel it that way. Huhuhu.. Because of this person you have to take this decision.. Because of this person, we that love these fandom and the stuff, the story that you wrote has to take the consequence of this person act..

I've been following you on tumblr too.. I really love all your post and comment you put with it.. Its really help me go along my day.. I really respect your decision.. I hope you will come back again one day and share with us who is waiting for you here..

Please come back again one day!! I'll be waiting for you..
Be happy and always take care!!!


I went to the link in one of the earlier posts, scrolled down to the end of the story where I left my comment in English. Nothing harsh, just a message asking this person to remove the story and to apologize.

sad to see all of these happened and i'm sorry that it hurts you...but do what's best for you koz like u said u write for u..so do what's best for your self..but i do hope you'll come back...koz i love and adore ur stories...

You're the most carefree author I've ever come across in my 5 years of being in this fandom and definitely one of the best. It's really disappointing that people could resort into doing such things. Your stories are amazing and I'm sad that we won't be getting any of it in the near future but I totally get you. I hope this isn't anything permanent. Just take all the time you want and come back again someday but say you don't... continue writing and doing what you do best. Though in all honesty, I'd be really happy to see you posting again :) Take care.

Edited at 2013-09-04 05:43 am (UTC)

It will be a sad day when your stories leave the fanfiction fandom but I understand. I love all your stories and Sleeping Beauty along with the others really opened my eyes to the Yunjae fandom. The Trophy Wife is also amazing. Just thank you for putting your stories out there, and I hope one day you'll decided to post again. Just thank you for making my days a little brighter :)

it's sad that you've come to this decision... but i understand that it has to be done... i am one of those, who will always look forward to your updates and it just saddens me that i won't get to see your work anymore.

stupid plagiarizers and translators who refuse to listen and don't even know the meaning of the word "NO". i hate them.

i, for one, LOVE ALL YOUR STORIES. it's the truth and well... it's one of the things i go back to re-reading when i feel like it or when the fic updates are just crap or when i just want to remember the things that you made yunho, jaejoong, yoochun, junsu and changmin do. ^^ your stories have always been a form of stress reliever --- i might be repeating what your readers have already said but it is the truth.

i'm sorry to have to see these stories go. TT______TT i will miss them so much.

i really hope that one day, you'll decide to come back again. if that day knows, know that i will be one of those who respect you as a great and talented writer who will be waiting. :)

Hi, Nickki.

I'm not sure if you could read this or not, but I want to apologize to you.

I am the one who have translated your fic, The Ring. I honestly have not thought much about it, how it would hurt your feelings. I have made a mistake, and I acknowledge it. I have deleted the post from my blog, and I promise to never again try to translate your fics against your will.

I'm ashamed of my awful behaviour, and although it's hard, I hope you would accept my apology. I'm deeply, truly sorry for what I did. The damage has been done and I could not change the fact that I disrespect you. I knew I did by doing so, and I'm responsible for everything that I've done.

I really don't know what else to say, because, really, your fan fictions are all great. There's nothing I can say to make you change your mind about locking your journal, but it's my fault and I feel so guilty. I regret it. You are a wonderful author and I'm so sorry for upsetting you.

Once again, I'm so so so so so sorry, Nikki. Sorry doesn't change anything, but I really, really acknowledge my fault. I guess that's all I could offer. I'm sorry.

Edited at 2013-09-04 05:41 am (UTC)

hmm i dont know what to say anymore dear..
i love your stories..
but your stories are your soul..so i can conclude that your stories are you as a whole..and you can made some decisions as you please..
ohhh i want to choke that people to death..grrrrr..

every day beside my busy life . I would refresh your page to see if you update or not. your fics made me smile .cry . it made feel a lot of emotions. but now because of those ....

this happened. I really liked to read your fics. hope we can see you soon. and this be very end of violating some ones hard work.

fighting to nikki who gave us a lot of wonderful fics.♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

I'm a silent reader, always have been and probably always will be. But I feel bad now.
I should have told you how much I love your stories and that I look forward to them every time I turn on my computer. How much I love Minnie-ball and how a bunch of kids were able to beat a team of hockey players.
You are by far my favorite author mainly because your characters are real to me. They aren't overly feminine or masculine, they are just normal people.
I used to ship Yunjae, but quickly left due to the over zealous fans. You restored my faith and love of the pairing with Sleeping Beauty and Ice.
You may never even see this comment, but know that I love your writing.
Thank you for sharing your soul with us, and I'm sorry people decided to abuse that.

I came across your fanfics recently when I reentered the fandom, and I really enjoyed every second of reading them. This decision is saddening, and I will miss reading your stories. However, as a writer and an artist, I understand how much you must put into your work and how devastating it must be for something like this to happen, especially multiple times. I respect your decision and support you standing up for your creative rights. I hope that one day, you'll feel comfortable enough to share your writing again; I'm sure fans of your works will eagerly wait for that day to come.

Thank you for all the brilliance you've allowed us to read up until now.

I'm so sorry that you felt you had to make this decision. I only found you recently but fell in love with your characterisations and stories. I hope you will feel able to come back but if not just know I'm grateful for you sharing a part of yourself with me and all the other readers.

I really don't know what to say... You are my favourite writer on LJ and eventhough I'm not much of a commenter, I stuck with you for over a year now and I read every single word you ever posted on this journal. Eventually, I came to love and respect you.

We keep loosing great writers in this fandom and it hurts to see that the people causing that won't learn from their mistakes :/

Well... There's nothing we can do about it now I guess *sigh* so I wish you a great life and... eh I suck at goodbyes... Just take care and be safe and I really really really hope that one day, you'll be posting again.


This is the only thing I could offer.

I really hope you won't give up on writing and sharing your stories. Though I realzied that I'm one of the many people who have dissapointed you so much.

Oh my... I want to crying now. I just discovered this amazing fics. But I can't read until the end now,hiks. I hope someday I would read the rest of sleeping beauty.
Many my fav yunjae author do the same action, n now I starting to hate that people who translate without permisson.