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All skin and no shame

...innocence is just an illusion...

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LITI - it could have been bad...

Ok, maybe i'm being melodramatic haha! Ch9 wasn't supposed to go the way it did in my head. I'd started it some time ago and got stuck for obvious reasons.

Basically, my muses did not want it to go the way I wanted it to go and the excerpt/drabble below is all I got to before I came to screeching halt and stopped writing it.

This isn't canon. I'm not sure what frame of mind I was in when I wrote it because even when re-reading it doesn't feel right hah. See what happens when I try to do things my way? I guess this serves as an example as to how I write.

Things like this come out when I force it... and things like the actual ch9a and b come out when I leave my muses to do what they do best...

...drive me crazy :P

The remaining time passes as a blur for Jaejoong. His mind is troubled, and he is finding it truly upsetting that all his brain wants to dwell on are the final months between the time the lawsuit was filed, and the day they moved out of the Dong Bang Shin Ki apartment.

He can vaguely hear the murmur of voices around him, the laughter of Joong Ki and Ah In, the teasing comments of Changmin towards Yeon Hee, and the general conversation going around as the PD briefs all the secondary “main” cast about the upcoming press conference. Jaejoong knows enough that the bulk of the press con will be with the secondary cast. Both he and Yunho are the last minute “surprise” so to speak. The PDs want to keep questions directed at them at a minimum, and the both of them will only be on for about twenty minutes towards the end.

Jaejoong had protested at first, but after today, it’s probably for the best. He doesn’t even know if he’ll be able to smile for the cameras. He is that heart sick.

And the blame for that lies in his mind. It is not really about Yunho. For some weird reason, all the bad memories are assaulting him, one after the other, of those terrible final months.

The way Yunho used to snap at him, voice filled with anger and irritation, no matter what it is that Jaejoong is asking or speaking about, as if the very sound of his voice breaks something in his mind, making loathing spill out.

The way the leader couldn’t hide his unhappiness with his lead singer even on air on Japanese interviews and game shows, causing the other members to overact in order to hide the clear dysfunction going on between the two oldest members.

Jaejoong remembers not even being able to tell Yunho that dinner is ready, without a sharp, hurtful retort back.


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and I do feel all the pain Jaejoong laid down in this drabble </////3

Signs...I am thankful for your muses. And I guess SME executives are more than happyto have this version written. LoL

Either would've been excellent IMO.
But I do enjoy what your muses did :-)

Thx for writing. Still no pc'laptop for that comment I owe ya

Thank you Nikki's muses..

Thanks, muses!!!
And to you!!!

I remember some time ago you said you couldn't write angst, so this story kinda makes me wonder if the story actually got written like you wanted it to, how everything would actually play out. I would have liked this way to, but I love the current way better!!

Let's not be emoshinki. Let us carry on with our hopeful fantasies.

this is kinda angsty for me... in a way... imagining Jaejoong trying to talk to Yunho but all he gets is some hurtful words full of anger and pain and Yunho's eyes gave nothing away but anger.... <//3 I'm glad your muses take over though.... I would've ended up being a sobbing mess right after reading chapter 9b, LOL. but.... /pats Mama Bee/ because your muses really takes over you as always when your writing... kkkkk <3

This dips too deeply into the pool of reality, I prefer swimming in the sea of dreams. I think that's why I love your writing so much, I've seen your muses frolicking on the beach and building sand castles there!

oh the pain of reliving those memories... poor jaejoong...

Angst would be great too. I'd willingly accept the pain of your beautifully sewn words. But thank god you succumbed to your muses! 

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