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...innocence is just an illusion...

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Love In The Ice [10]
Title: Love in the Ice
Pairing: YunJae
Rating: R
Length: Chaptered
Genre: Non-AU, mild angst, fluff, romance
Disclaimer: I don't own anything apart from the story. I wish I had YunJae and if I had my way, they'd move to New Zealand so they can be married here.

Summary: A script for a new mini-series is left in Yunho’s apartment by his manager, and as he reads it, he becomes more and more intrigued. Unbeknownst to him, one of the leads has already been cast, and the contracts signed. When he too is cast in the project after expressing interest in the part, he gets the shock of his life when he arrives for the script reading to be faced with a person from his past. Someone that he has spent years trying to pretend never existed. How will they be able to get through filming this without killing each other? Or worse…

AN1: This scene actually started from YunJae’s POV just before the kiss… BUT for some reason I wasn’t quite feeling it lol so I ditched a couple thousand words so it may feel a little odd in parts. Also…this is moving at a crawl. I’m at chapter 10 and they only just kissed…I AM CRAWLING.

AN2: Oh and if you’re a new reader who has never read ICE, I really think you should because I will make a few references to it without actually spelling it out because the assumption is that everyone has read ICE and are familiar with the plot…


Hero bends his head, whispering something into his boyfriend’s ear.

Whatever he says isn’t picked up by the man’s head mic, but whatever he says prompts the captain to move.

The tall man skates slowly, at a leisurely pace, unperturbed by the din the crowd is making as his team falls in line behind him.

Changmin, who is still a little unsure on his blades, is directly behind his hyungs, and he is trying his damnedest to school his expression when Jaejoong…or is it Hero? When Hero takes a very slow lick up his captain’s ear, eyes never leaving the poor maknae whose waist is being held firmly by Joong Ki behind him to keep him steady.

The look sent his way is utterly possessive, and intensely masculine, despite the fact that the singer is wrapped around the tall man on blades and snuggling like a koala as he nuzzles that ear again.

That look conveys one single thing.


And for the life of him, Changmin has no fucking idea whether it is Jaejoong or Hero who just stared at him like that.

A stare that was, rather fortuitously, captured on camera.

He has to bite his tongue to keep from saying something he might regret. No, he will regret, for all Changmin wants to say is ”He’s all yours. He’s always been yours.”

“Oh holy fuck, I think the gauntlet has just been thrown.”

“Gauntlet?” Junsu echoes quietly, gaping at the screen as whoever is editing the show is masterfully repeating what just happened in slow motion on the big screen.

“I think hyungs are in trouble.”

Junsu looks up then as the room empties of the suits. He turns to blink worriedly at Yoochun who is chuckling ruefully, and shaking his head. “Why are you laughing? Shouldn’t we do something?”

“What can we do? We can only sit and wait right now, but I’m really sure they cannot do anything too disastrous like try and put an end to the show because it’s too late.”

“They can get very creative with their punishments, or have you forgotten?” Junsu whispers quietly, staring down at the edge of the stage where Yunho has deposited the gorgeous star so the latter is perched. He watches as the man keeps his legs draped loosely around Yunho, even as he waves for someone to hand him a microphone. “Remember how Yunho hyung would always get yelled at by management for our mistakes? I don’t want him to get punished when we’re not even part of SME anymore.”

“I haven’t forgotten,” Yoochun whispers back, despite the fact that there is no real need to since they are the only two left in the VIP room. “But Yunho hyung and Changmin are practically solid gold right now. I don’t think the fans would care to see either being punished.”

“You know as well as I do, the fans don’t see everything.” Junsu starts to shake his leg, vibrating in his worry, making even his chair rattle.

“It’ll be alright, Junsu-yah,” Yoochun pats the worried younger man comfortingly on the knee, before gripping it, squeezing lightly to keep the man from shaking. It’s a bad habit Junsu has, and it drives him crazy most times. The man is filled with restless energy, not unlike Yunho, but their leader knows how to sit still.

Junsu doesn’t.

The younger man usually gets a swipe from his hyungs for his “leg wagging”, but not today.

“Jaejoongie hyung?”

“Yunho hyung will protect him.”

Junsu swallows his retort at that. He picked sides once.

He is not doing it again.

They both turn as Jaejoong starts to talk.

“Well, well, well…” He starts, drawling out the words very, very lazily, as the crowd start to get rowdier. The gorgeous rock star, with his boyfriend standing secure between his thighs, tilts his head, eyes scanning the arena from left to right as he rests his fisted hand against his cheek.

The noise increases, when they notice the tall man in ice hockey uniform running his left hand along the underside of the singer’s leg that is mostly still wrapped around his waist.

Hero feels it, turning his attention to the younger man. His smirk is for the crowd, but his insides are doing some sort of insane dance and he feels like he might throw up very soon. But he is absolutely not letting go of this opportunity. As Hero, he can get away with practically anything, and he is going to hide behind that mask and wield that power for as long as he can get away with it.

Jaejoong knows how to be a bitch.

Being an ass might take a bit of work, but he is sure with a focus like SME, he can manage it.

How about how intensely sexual his character is?

How about that?

With Yunho between his thighs, Jaejoong can do anything.

His smirk never wavers as he leans forward, the sudden aura of intimacy when he does so is surprising even to those who know them, for it is like a switch that Jaejoong turns on, immediately cutting him and Yunho off from the rest of the world, a pulsating cocoon of energy that only exists between them. It used to make Changmin terribly uncomfortable being stuck between them, and now with this crowd of 14,000 strong, even they cannot penetrate this bubble. No one can, and Hero will make damn sure of this.

This is a man who doesn’t give a damn where he is, and he will do as he pleases.

And what pleases him is the stunning leader of TVXQ.

Yunho is really thankful for the ice hockey uniform because it is hiding what he knows will never be hidden had he been wearing normal pants. And the pain in his groin intensifies when he feels Jaejoong’s hot breath ghosting across the shell of his ear as he breathes his question.

“Are you Dohoon or Yunho? Squeeze once if you’re mine, and twice if you’re not.”

Now what kind of question and answer is that for the two don’t relate to each other?

Or do they?

Yunho’s hesitance is a mere second or two, before he squeezes the man’s upper thigh firmly with his left hand.


Jaejoong smiles against Yunho’s ear, a smile that is once again captured by the cameras.

And like earlier, there is no mistaking what it conveys, for his eyes are like shards of ice as he glares defiantly into the camera, despite the amused twist of his lips.


Slow ripples of confusion move through the crowd as fans begin to question a long-held belief.

Has it really been JaeHo all along?

When the murmurs hit the VIP area on the arena floor where the team have now found their seats, Changmin almost chokes on his woeful attempt at trying not to laugh.

The urge to stand up and answer that question is strong but he controls himself.

“Why is it funny? I have totally given up wondering if they’re acting or not.”

“Aren’t we all supposed to be acting, Jiji”?

Yeon Hee growls under her breath, wrinkling her nose at Changmin, as she turns to face forward once again. She feels the man’s hand patting her on her shoulder, and she shrugs it off in irritation. She wonders how Changmin isn’t worried when she herself is. She’s heard the rumours of course, and now seeing it here, she cannot help but worry about what will become of the two men when they go backstage.

She almost wishes they can prolong the moment out here somehow, for they have strength in numbers.

Everyone’s eyes are on the couple at the front of the arena. Hero doesn’t seem very willing to let go of the taller man, and the ice hockey captain doesn’t appear to be ready to leave just yet.

As for the crowd, well, everyone seems inclined to suspend their disbelief for the moment, waiting breathlessly to see how the whole scandal will play out.

Eyebrows go up when the camera zooms in on the action at the front of the arena, as Hero nuzzles his way along his boyfriend’s diamond jaw, hand once again fisted in the back of the younger man’s thick wavy hair as he tilts his head up, giving him access to his throat. The reaction of the crowd is split between mute shock, and screams, while at least a third are still crying from earlier.

The entire arena watches as Hero mouths the captain’s adam’s apple, his smirk obvious, before he licks his way down to the base of the man’s throat.

Eyes are torn between staring at Hero and staring at the passive man in the ice hockey uniform. But if anyone were to look at Yunho’s face, they’d see a small smile playing about his lips, his eyes shut, giving the impression of blissful, peaceful, surrender.

Yunho is anything but peaceful.

If he and Jaejoong were to compare notes later, they’ll both realise their insides were doing Yunho’s Rising Sun ending choreography at the same time.

But it doesn’t show on his face, for he chooses to ignore it, focusing on the soft lips caressing his skin instead.



And he remembers.

He remembers when Jaejoong used to do this, when he is feeling contrite.

When he feels he has to apologise for something.


Jaejoong apologises with his body.

He apologises with his touch.

To everyone watching, Hero Jaejoong is being a seductive, sensual, teasing bastard.

But Yunho knows better.

His Jaejoong is apologising.

The soft kisses, the lingering mouth over his skin, the way his slick lips tug across his dry skin, and the way he breathes so softly, the even breaths ghosting across his skin, making goosebumps sprout all up Yunho’s arms.

This is a touch meant to soothe his temper.

Meant to calm him down.

Meant to apologise.

Meant to love.

And unlike that last month of their lives together, instead of fighting the soft caresses and turning them into something ugly by accusing the beautiful man of trying to manipulate him, Yunho gives in.

He gives in and accepts Jaejoong’s apology.

He accepts Jaejoong’s love.

The fact that they are renewing their bond in front of over 14,000 people does not escape him.

He is Dohoon, and Jaejoong is Hero.

That is all the crowd needs to know.

Who they are in reality is no one’s business but their own, and he knows without needing to ask the man, that Jaejoong and him are in accord in this instance.

They will play this out in the public eye if they have to, using their characters to express and to search within themselves what they need in order to settle the issues between them. Giving over to their characters has made Yunho feel free. Much freer that he has ever felt. It allows him to be himself, yet not, and the result is refreshing after three years of carrying round something he should have dealt with from the start.

It is allowing him to return to the playful leader off camera, who has an older man to spoil him and laugh at his over-the-top antics with a loving eye, and an affectionate smile. Yunho has been unbalanced for so long, over compensating with being a leader, and fighting to keep TVXQ strong that this project will give him the opportunity to relax, and to be himself. He has always managed to balance being a leader, and being a ridiculously affectionate dork before, and now he can return to that side of him that has been all but lost for years.

There are glimpses of course, especially during concerts, for Yunho is himself when he is onstage and performing for the crowd.

But the occasions of him letting his guard down is too few and far between.

He doesn’t know what the motivations are of whoever orchestrated this entire project, but he will take full advantage of the leeway it accords him. The red string of fate has brought them back together once again, just like it did when they first met in SM after the street fight the year before that.

Yunho doesn’t want to question it anymore. He will go with it, and try and find the person he used to be, for he knows that under the icy gaze of the lead singer, his Jaejoongie is still in there somewhere too.

When they kissed, he had felt a split second of searing agony at the memories of a time long gone, and the urge to break away and run had been strong, for he doesn’t want to kiss Jaejoong and find someone else.

But as the kiss deepens, the agony dissipates.

For Jaejoong still kisses him like the way he used to.

Yunho can taste himself as he takes from the man’s mouth, for the colour of Jaejoong’s kiss is still tinged in Yunho, despite the empty years between them.

And his heart soars at the knowledge, for even though Jaejoong has verbally told him of this, tasting the truth from his lips is infinitely sweeter.

His heart lightens, and he gives back of himself in that first kiss.

Yunho to Jaejoong.

No one needs to know that of course, for what they see is Hero kissing Dohoon.

But at the end of the day, he is Yunho.

And this man trapping him right now between his thighs is Jaejoong.

Hero dips his tongue in the base of the captain’s throat, chuckling huskily as the man’s pulse jumps.

He tilts his head slightly to look out, staring into the forever hovering camera next to them, as he brings up his microphone to his mouth, pressing it against his plump lips.

“Do you want to know what my favourite spot is?” he whispers, seducing the entire arena with his low, breathy, husky voice.

The crowd screams in response, as they take in the singer’s eyes, promising a whole lot of debauchery as his lips curl into a knowing smirk.

Instead of answering, Jaejoong dips his head once again, pressing an apologetic kiss against Yunho’s throat, knowing the man is probably in as much agony as he is right now. The younger man’s fingers are digging into his thigh and he yearns to feel those fingers digging into his flesh properly, but he knows they still have a fair way to go before that.

They are performing for the crowd, taking the liberties that their characters are giving them, and Jaejoong hopes Yunho knows that he wants to try and fix them somehow in the process.

He doesn’t expect miracles.

But he will take what he can get.

Yunho’s hard body, yet pliant and willing mouth gives Jaejoong something to believe in.


Yunho is giving it back to him.

There had been no doubt in his mind as to the welcome he will receive when he had leapt off the stage earlier.

His steps hadn’t faltered despite the jump, and the hard landing before he continues to run.

He had run to the man knowing his leap of faith will be accepted in full.

And Yunho hadn’t let him down.

It had all started with the small smile playing about Yunho’s lips; two parts cheeky and one part shy, as he ruffled his helmet head so adorably, his expression wearing a hint of sheepishness before it changes into a playful smirk as he sings those provocative words.

“…circling your lips…”

And damn the stupid script and whoever wrote it because all Jaejoong could think of was Yunho whispering huskily in his ear…

“Do you want my fingers there, Jae? Circling…”

Jaejoong has absolutely no defence against that siren’s call.

He had been smiling when he ran towards the man waiting for him.

And he is smiling now at his thoughts, pressing a soft kiss against Yunho’s mouth, their eyes almost crossing as they stare at each other.

Smiling because in that moment, nothing matters but Yunho.

It’s a game of give and take.

And they’re both learning that they each can give and take.

Jaejoong gave Yunho hell back stage earlier, and Yunho took it.

Yunho is giving Jaejoong one hell of a surprise right now, and Jaejoong is taking it.

He gives of himself, and Yunho takes it with a smile.

And now Yunho is giving back of himself, and Jaejoong will take it with a smile and then some.

He licks at the younger man’s full bottom lip, grinning when his name is groaned out.


Jaejoong once again brings up the microphone, squeezing it between their mouths and smirking as Yunho’s tiny whine of protest is heard by one and all. “How about you tell the crowd here what my favourite spot is?” Jaejoong asks.

Yunho draws back slightly, staring up at the man perched on the edge of the stage, but he can go no further than half a step for Jaejoong’s booted feet are snug in the middle of his back.

He readjusts his head mic, as a slow grin breaks across his face.

Jaejoong heart flutters at the sight, and he tamps down the urge to say to hell with it and convince the man to take him backstage.

But then again, backstage isn’t guaranteed to be safe anymore after their little stunt.

“Your favourite spot?”

The crowd screams at the simple question, making Yunho’s grin widen at the noise. He winks at the older man, chuckling as Hero rolls his eyes at him while wearing a beautiful smirk.

Yunho turns around slowly within the embrace of Jaejoong’s legs, leaning back against the stage and Jaejoong’s crotch and chest, shaking his head ruefully as he takes a good look at the packed arena.

He feels Jaejoong leaning forward, draping around his shoulders as he scans the crowd, his own hands caressing the man’s calves. The back hug feels familiar, yet not. Jaejoong was always too short to hug him thus properly, but perched on the stage in his elevated position, Yunho feels warm in his embrace.

Perhaps even a little nervous.

Is this is what Jaejoong meant all those years ago when he blushed so beautifully as he admitted Yunho’s hugs make him nervous? He can feel the idol’s sweet warm breath caressing his ear, and he dips his head towards it, unable to help himself, just wanting to be closer. He remembers being scolded about this too, all those years ago, the camera had picked up on his inadvertent need to nuzzle as Jaejoong had perched his chin on his shoulder on some television program.

How do you control something that is as natural to you as breathing?

Jaejoong is the North pole to his South.

Forever attracted to the other.

That magnetic attraction can be felt by him, as those little puffs of air hitting his sensitive skin sends insane tingles up and down his arms. That prickling feeling that makes him want to claw at his skin and tear his clothes off, and all from Jaejoong simply breathing against him… It takes a lot of willpower to school his features and not let out a questionable sound, for he has already given away too much already.

How many people will believe that the rookie from Heading To The Ground is this good an actor?

The muted roar of the crowd intensifies as Yunho cocks his head, masking that natural movement to be affectionate with Jaejoong, with a playful grin about his mouth as Jaejoong nuzzles his ear again from behind. He can feel the bulbous metallic head of the microphone clinking against his earring, and he takes a deep fortifying breath, closing his eyes a little longer than necessary as he waits for the older man to speak.

“Come on, baby. Tell them what my favourite spot is.” Hero coaxes huskily, his voice low and breathy against the younger man’s ear. He can feel the imperceptible shiver coursing through the man, and he kisses his cheek, murmuring an apology that the crowd cannot hear.

Yunho feels, rather than hears Jaejoong apologising for being such a tease. The murmured words asking if he wants him to stop because they’ve definitely put on enough of a show.

“His favourite spot…” Yunho starts, once again scanning the crowd, eyes landing on Changmin’s face. What he sees in the young man stops him short, for he is not staring at the silent man who has been his rock for the last three years. He is staring at the maknae of Dong Bang Shin Ki, imploring with his eyes to fix them. Changmin’s eyes are soft, and there is a sheen of tears in them.

He knows the loss is not just his, but Changmin’s as well. In that moment, he too wishes he could see Yoochun and Junsu. He just wants to look into their eyes, and for the first time in a very long time, be able to tell them with a gaze, that they will all be ok.

That time isn’t tonight though, as Yunho nods resolutely in his member’s direction, his smile is rueful when he sees Changmin subtly brush away at his eyes. The moment is bittersweet as he once again turns towards the crowd waiting expectantly.

“His favourite spot is…” he pauses again, teasing and tantalizing the crowd, before he breaks into a slow grin. “…only for me to know and you never to find out.”

“Possessive aren’t we?” Hero chuckles darkly as the crowd groans, vocalising their complaints at Yunho’s words.

“I learned from the best.”


Yunho hums in acknowledgement of the name, smiling as the noise of the crowd falters slightly as they are all once again reminded that this is all a show, and probably scripted.

More than half are hoping against it, and a small handful know for a fact that it isn’t.

“Why don’t you go and sit with your teammates and let me finish this concert, so that…” Hero purposefully pauses as he straightens up, fingers dancing along a broadly padded shoulder, knowing Yunho can’t really feel his touch, but appearances are enough for now.

His fingers dance up along the collar of the ridiculous outfit, lightly caressing bare skin as he traces the curve of Yunho’s ear with his fingertips.

The fictional captain of Anyang Halla immediately leans into his touch, practically purring, his expression utterly content and very adorable as he purses his lips, and puffs out his cheeks cutely. A rather sharp contrast to the image he had given off when he appeared, controlling over twenty burly men with a simple wave of his hockey stick.

Not to mention the gorgeous rock star he had beckoned to him, and whom had eventually come running.

But Yunho is, for all intents and purposes, the happy go lucky maknae captain, fierce on the ice, but utterly adorable off the ice. He remembers the character description of Dohoon very well, for he is constantly reminded by Changmin that he’s not really playing him properly, overcompensating with the serious side of the young captain and not balancing it well enough with the playful side.

Carefree and easygoing.


Yunho needs to learn how to do that, how to be that, all over again.

He also knows a cue when he hears it.

“So that…?”

Hero’s grin is one part pleased and nine parts lascivious. “So that I can leave this fucking stage and play connect the dots with your favourite spots.”

Yunho tilts his head back, leaning against Jaejoong’s chest, mouth pouty, his tone a little sulky. “I don’t want to wait.”

If the screams from earlier weren’t loud enough, the sudden explosion of noise at his remark certainly eclipses even that. Half the crowd is practically delirious, thinking they’re going to get a free show, while the other half are already delirious, unable to comprehend what is happening right before their very eyes right this moment.

Included in the already delirious, are two poor men sitting alone in the VIP booth, one of them vibrating so much the other practically has to sit on him to keep him still.

And included in the practically delirious are most of the cast of the show.

In all their minds is the phone sex scene that was played out on the very first day, and most cannot decide whether they actually want something like that to play out, or whether they should try and create a commotion to distract everyone from the two men wrapped up in each other in front of 14,000 people.

Jaejoong’s chuckle is sinful as fuck as he steals a kiss from that petulant mouth. Their roles are switched, and he knows he and Yunho are on the same wavelength. Yunho’s head mic prevents the leader from whispering any asides he might want, but it doesn’t stop Jaejoong.

“If we play opposites, are you still mine?” Jaejoong whispers against the corner of Yunho’s mouth before pulling back.

A hard squeeze just under Jaejoong’s right knee gives him his answer.

“The impatience of youth.” Hero’s amused voice breaks through the crowd’s murmurings. “You have to excuse my boyfriend. He’s only twenty-three.”

“Does that make you an ahjusshi then?”


“Do you really want to go there?” The answering voice is no longer playful, or teasing. Just dead sexy, as Yunho imitates Jaejoong, drawling out the words slowly, inserting an underlying tone of suggestiveness.

“I’ll go anywhere you want me to go after this last song.”

Yunho spins around suddenly, his eyes dark as he stares up at Jaejoong. His eyes are shuttered for the first time since they clapped eyes on each other in front of thousands.

“I’m holding you to that,” the younger man speaks quietly, before breaking into a smile.

Jaejoong blinks in surprise as Yunho’s countenance transforms back to playful, wearing an easy smile as he gently extricates himself from the circle of Jaejoong’s legs and skates backwards, away from him, ruffling his fluffy and slightly curly as he smirks.

“Sing for me…oppa.”

AN1: These two are killing me. So many baby, baby, steps. They know each other and well, to know that well, they just need to communicate better I guess. This fic really wasn’t supposed to be angsty and I honestly have no idea where it’s going. Let’s roll with it ;-)

AN2: Roll call! How many of you are actually still reading this considering how sucky I am at updating lately compared to what it used to be?

AN3: Also, I do need a roll call cos LJ appears to be blocking the IP addresses of users whose blogs contain gay content and well, what is my blog if not an homage to gay content? Everyone holler at me. I’ll be moving my fics slowly to AO3 and dreamwidth - more details here. But I’ll keep posting to LJ as long as I don’t get kicked off. It might be a one-off thing but I’m getting news of other users on twitter being blocked as well so better to be safe than sorry.

Woo hoo still reading. Thanks for the notice on moving your content. Ironically I was just introduced to AO3 last week by my bestie who has been a fan of the site for a long time. Oh and I think your writing is so good, your readers are just plain happy when you post regardless of how often you are able. RL does exist for everyone.

Answering thy roll call. :) Oh yes, definitely still reading. I saw your other post, so I already bookmarked your pages in the other sites. hopefully, LJ won't be an a**. ^^

Oh, nice timing with the update! lol! I'm supposed to be sleeping but your update made my blood flow~ *flailing like Min*

I'AM FUCKING DELIRIOUS!!! FUCKING ON HIGH I CANNOT EVEN THINK PROPERLY... OMFG I think my brain just scattered on the floor and left my room... LMAOOOO this is fucking awesome!!! OH DEAR.. can't wait for the next updates... HAHAHA, thank you for an update Author~nim!!! ^^ and don't worry... we'll follow you wherever you want to go >:D we can just create a world of your own... LOL, jk xD

Still reading :D Wooohooo update!!! OMG can you imagine the nosebleeds everyone would get if this ever ever happened IRL???
I love how they're taking those tiny steps to fix things again...and the bit where Changmin's tearing up was so beautiful :') Can't wait for more!!!

Just damn happy to read an update. Will follow you wherever you go.

Love Yunho's POV.

they know each other so well...this makes everything turn out just right to mend everything

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OMG OMG I'M JUST SITTING HERE AND FANGIRLING AND BEING JEALOUS OF ALL THOSE PEOPLE AT THE CONCERT. i'm happy that they find the freedom to really express themselves in their characters. i hope they can patch things up soon, but just by being sexy isn't enough. they need to work through some serious communication issues before getting to the distraction of sexy times. GOD KNOWS I'M ALREADY DISTRACTED!

So your earlier post is true. That's so sad.

As I have read ICE, I can say that Yunho and Jaejoong are walking a very thin line between fiction and reality.

Their roles are giving them the freedom to a certain extend to express their true selves and with a bit of luck, they will be able to regain what was lost.

Hallo I'm here! Always reading your stories <3

Me..I'm here, and yes I'm still reading this! I love this chapter.

Still owe you comments

Finally updates!
Thanks Niki!
I'm waiting patiently here...
More and more curious about LITI...
For the banned LJ,I just knew it too,but dunno its true/not,..
Will follow you in tumblr though..,