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All skin and no shame

...innocence is just an illusion...

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Why do I even bother?

So I sat on this for an hour or so. And found myself getting even more annoyed. Despite what it may come off like, I am still fucking human.

What is it about me that makes me have a fucking bullseye in the middle of my forehead or something? My forehead isn't even as wide as Yoochun's and yet people seem to think using me as a dartboard is fun. Hating my writing or whatever is one thing. Heck, even hating my personality is acceptable because I know I rub people the wrong way and it even happens IRL. But then you had to go that one step further.

"Someone should poison you like your stupid fat bias got poisoned. The two of you are popular for what? Being shit.

I've had threats and shit in my ask.fm over the last few months. Some people even tell me to go and die. But this one bothers me, not because whoever it is had to drag Yunho and his poisoning incident into it, but the fact that i'm pretty sure this person reads my "shit".

I had someone yesterday too telling me that when I insert lyrics into my fics, it's corny as hell and makes her cringe and she asked me to stop.


You do realise the solution to this right?




If I aggravate you so much that you have to send hateful asks to me, then why on earth do you insist on continually being aggravated??? This makes no logical sense to me whatsoever. I had so many asks yesterday from people giving me their opinions on ONIB and they were polite and I could actually see where most of them were coming from. But then some of you are just pissed at me for the sake of being pissed and then you continue to get pissed at me by continuing to read.

A friend on twitter offered an explanation, saying that y'all like my writing, BUT you just want it according to YOUR preferences.

face palm

So instead of writing in my spare hour, i'm spending it wondering why people are so stupid. I'd say it's highly stupid of ME to waste time on this and my husband would more than likely scold me for being stupid enough to give you the time of the day because that is clearly what you want, but seriously... I need to get it out there.


It's not like i'm holding a goddamn gun to your head.

Life is about choices. I chose to be a fool and be bothered by this, and I acknowledge that. Being in this fandom and writing has honestly made me soft. It's made me feel things I don't want to feel and it's made me human. I see it as a weakness, but my husband sees it as growth. The jury is still out on which one of us is right.


dude ... bitches

I am really glad that I don't have to deal with stuff like this. I'm sure if I had an ask.com or some way for people to leave anonymous comments about me then I would (I have had the hate before on some anonymous kpop meme, but never to this extent). I just took away that option from them all.

I like your writing.
Lots of us do.

I think you're strong and being soft and feeling emotions should never be seen as weak.

Send those little fuckers on their way. Keep calm and carry on, babe.

People like those don't have anything good to do in their life, you're the 3rd author i know that got rude comment from stupid people. It's a simple solution actually but them being rude just have do read and left stupid comment for something no one are forcing them to read. Anonimity gives them courage.
I think there are a lot more readers of you who like your writing than those kind. It's normal to feel emotions, we're just humans. Be strong and if you can ignore them, please do.

The way I see it is that these people who leave this kinds of messages get satisfaction when the author gets upset. They don't really care about the story. They just basically want to piss someone off. It's like they get their high out of it. Sad but there are really people like that.

Ur reaction is normal. We are all human. I just hope this won't stop you for doing things that you enjoy doing. And hope you remember that there's far more lots of people enjoying your stories than those who are bashing.

These hateful people are cowards. That's are only good at aggravating people behind their computer screens but I bet when it comes to face to face they will run for cover instead.

Agreed with the others. You are sharing something wonderful with us, so never question your emotions as a weakness. Delete those fools and continue to write what you want to. Too many times people forget tact because they can hide behind a computer. Keep your head up and those muses happy. You do amazing work and people are just selfish, ignorant and petty. Otherwise, not worth the trouble.

Well that is so malicious to drag the poison incident into this matter. Actually just a mere death wish for someone is very wrong, no matter how much you hate the person. If the person kills your loved one, that is more understandable to some extent, but gosh this is just a fictional writing. In stead of being stupid, I may say these people have mental problems...children with psychological trauma.

Anyway, there are a lot of mean people in the society. I hope you don't let them affect the goods in you. Remember there are also many people who love and support you. NIKKI FTW! ♡

....that is so stupid. You are right, don't like don't read......what is it that people don't get? I hate reading posts like yours where stupid people affect awesome writers.

But I think I have to agree with your husband. It's growth because then you can tell that you are human. You are affected by what others says and do but you are not controlled by them and they do not dictate your life.

Please don't stop being awesome and writing wonderful works (although yes they do seem to drag on much longer than intended lol).

F THEM! We love your work! Haters gonna Hate... You still have us! Dont let them rile you! 화이팅!

People are just all sorts of fun...I wish I could impose D.O Stare of Impending Doom on these types of people until they shrink into the ground but I'll just have to settle with the theory that they'll get snipped in the ass somewhere in the near future.

Weakness or growth, I applaud you for not keeping it all in and sharing this with your readers [even if that may not be what you intend it to be and just want vent, that's okay, too]. I know how you always keep on telling us that you write for yourself and we just happened to like them, but I do enjoy your writing and plot lines and character development, and I appreciate all the hard work you have put into your stories. I know my one comment won't cancel out all the shit you had to read from those people, but I really needed to let it out there that you do have a support behind you, and that we're here for you. I admit that sometimes, yeah, you do rub me in the wrong way, but whatever flaws I saw, that's what made me respect you and feel like you're approachable [even if you claimed that you aren't].

Not telling you that ignoring those comments will fix everything, but you're cool, you gots this.

There'll always be haters but the lovers far, far exceed these losers.

I used to not be able to sleep at night when I got criticized by listeners. Then I'd get a load of darling messages from many, many other listeners. Cancelled those haters right off the radar especially if they had nothing constructive to say in the first place.

Many people become a**h**es when they are anonymous. Don't let them get to you. Crush them by writing more of what you want to write.

Gambatte Nicki!!!!!

It just blows my mind how people can be so hateful about stories. Those people need to get over themselves and fuck off. They're a fanficti version of a sasaeng.

I wish there was a way to set a filter for stupidity, maybe then you wouldn't have to deal with these idiots. Seems like they have nothing better to do than try and piss in everyone else's Wheaties. Have to admire their commitment though, they will even spend valuable time TORTURING themselves just so that they have material for criticizing you later on. Dedication that is. Go get a hobby douchebags. On behalf of all the sane people out there, thanks for continuing to write; your work has gotten me through many a blindingly awful workday. You are an extremely talented writer, and I know you didn't post this to rake in the compliments, but here they are so accept them! Love that you write what you enjoy and not to get "likes" or "fans." I think that is what makes your writing so genuine and personal. Can tell there is a lot of heart behind it. You're a gem.

Don't ever bother with them.

I personally have re - read all your fanfic more that my finger can count.

I think i have read sleeping beauty more than 20 times and still counting.

Keep on writing and don't ever stop.

Well sadi bbb, well said. I enjoy your writing so much that checking out your blog everyday is one thing I do. And so sorry for not leaving comments. I promise I'll do it in the weekend. Just don't give up writing. I might have to murder a few people then.

Send all your bashers to me, I have ample time to waste to kick their stupid asses, and you, take a calming breath then go back to writing cause I cannot have enough of them :)!!!