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All skin and no shame

...innocence is just an illusion...

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Update aka IDK who or what fucked with my LJ

I don't know what the fuck is going on. LJ are trying to get to the bottom of this but i'm not very hopeful since it's taken this long to even get something from them.


Go to http://banned.services.livejournal.com and that's the EXACT error I get. And it's specific to my IP address. It could be a technical issue, it could be malicious. I really have no idea anymore.

I can't talk to my husband about this because when I did initially, his answer was an unequivocal GET OUT OF THIS. After what happened last time with the plagiarising and translating without permission and the crappy things he's read in my ask.fm, my husband is no longer amused with fandom. He has given me his opinion and I don't want to fight with him over this.

April talked to an IT friend of hers and he thinks it's malicious. I talked to the sole IT friend of mine (I don't have many IT friends since they're all friends with my husband!) and he said the same thing. After this long (this has been happening since roughly Fri night/Sat morning), i've actually started to HOPE that maybe it's a technical issue.

The hope might be in vain and I will probably end up disappointed but the thing is, despite all the hatred lately, I don't want to become that person that hates. I used to be a misanthrope but I haven't been one in almost a decade (yes, I was a terribly emo child) and that's largely thanks to my husband. Perhaps it's naive of me but i'm actually happier in the last 24 hours than I was in the 24 hours prior to that.

The difference is that in the first 24 hours when I realised this wasn't what it appeared to be, I immediately believed someone or some group had gotten me banned somehow because my inability to post or do anything on LJ was tied to my IP address. And then came the positing from IT people that what happened was probably malicious, and even more malicious than what i'd initially thought was a simple complaint to LJ by hateful people. I was angry and hurt and even a little WTAF at the extent some people might have gone.

The 24 hours after that, I started thinking what if it really is a technical issue despite all signs pointing otherwise, including the fact that my error is the one from http://banned.services.livejournal.com. Look at the URL of that error. They keep telling my readers/friends who have sent in enquiries to LJ about this that no action has been taken against my account and yet my error is from "banned services". Whatever it is, the change in my thinking has actually made me a lot more relaxed and cheerful.

I'm really tired of thinking i'm going crazy because of everything that's happened in the last few weeks. I'm just here to adore the boys and to write fan FICTION. Please note the FICTION part of this whole thing.

So i'm going to be cheerful even if it kills me.



I'm sorry to hear that you're experiencing such trouble :/
I hope it gets resolved soon!!!

Please be cheerful! It makes angry to see so many people hate you for no reason. Part of me agrees with your husband. This fandom seems to be hurting you more lately then helping. While I would be sad to see you go I would understand. I hope you don't go!!! I love your writing and your constant flailings on twitter.

EEE. himnae eonnie! why cant they just leave you be T^T


I'm so sorry to hear that you are experiencing all these unnecessary stuff. I hope that LJ is able to get to the bottom of this and resolve this problem soon.

Those haters really need to go and get themselves a life. =___=

Ugh, I hope Live Journal fixes this problem soon. It's really unacceptable! Sending you lots of hugs and affection Nikki! This fandom is INSANE but you are seriously a spot of sunishine in a VERY emo fandom. I know this fandom has treated you badly, but there are many more people who love you very much and appreciate everything that you write! Hang in there! No matter what happens, I just want to thank you for bringing a lot of joy into our lives through your stories. And thanks to reading #SB so many time, I will forever refer to Changmin as Minnieball :)

Aww I'm sorry you had to deal with this baby, but I'm glad you're keeping your chin up. Me and all of your other readers are eternally grateful to get the chance to read your work and I'd be so upset if you disappeared from LJ (though understanding). Hope things keep working themselves out in the future ^^

<3 Dami

On a side note, what an adorable bunny

WTAF is wrong with these people...i was very upset at what happened to you *hugs* cos i love your writings and people just don't seem to understand simple english "don't like don't read"..ugh..
But i'm glad you're feeling better about the whole thing even though it kills me too...there are just that many immature people out there..it will greatly sadden me (and many of your other fans too) if you were to leave..i hope not tho cos i'm sure all of us who loves your writing will still support you wherever you post...*throws back head and laugh too* nikki fighting!! <3<3<3<3

Oh my god?? So like you know you said that you were taking a hiatus from Cassiopeia but hey, Cassiopeia obviously isn't done with you, like what the heck.
I'm just really ticked off too (I've been waiting for an onib update in this exam period), and I know that I'm not exactly anybody to speak or offer anything, but yeah, I get the whole I just want to write idea. What the heck is wrong with those people if it was really a malicious attack. And I'm sorry that assholes exist, and it's easy to say like oh, let's let them hater hate, but I'll be lying if I said that it doesn't get into me too.
Hey, you keep your head up and keep an open mind. And tbh, ao3 isn't half that bad.Like bc it's by fans for fans, it's pretty much free reign and well, most importantly there'll be no CSS HTML to meddle with, lol. I mean seriously do consider (I may or may not be saying this bc I just got a ao3 account a few days back)
Okay. I feel like a creeper already. Kthxbye. /back to studying. But really. /Flip them fuckers a middle finger.
God, what a creeper I am.

i am sorry this is happening to you..
i'm really sorry. i cant do anything to help.
i can only hope and pray that this issue will fixed soon
we all want happy go round in fandom its just sick to think someone did this to you..
in the meantime, you can still enjoy tumblr and twitter ^_^
cheer up Nikki~

Hello~ Silent reader here (sorry T_T)... Im really sorry people are acting like great big pests with you =( Youre such a good writer and you seem like a fun, down to earth (minus the OT5 feels mind you) genuine person =) If this werent all on the internet id probably want to be your friend =P I really hope those haters get a life soon.. All this harassing Nicki is getting old seriously. I wish I could kick their cyber asses sometimes. Youre taking it like a champ, your attitude always amazes me ^^ Please dont give up on us, there are still people who love what you do and support your works <3
Keep your head held high =) hwaiting!

haha i really like your LJ name ;)

Sorry if the little shits are out to get you again. Hope it isnt true though. On another note, that GIF is awesome and will probably be looping in my head for awhile.

OMG..they should fuck themselves!!
i really really hate them..i heard about your LJ reported..and im sorry to hear that..
i hope you'll continue your story and never give a fuck about them..
sorry about my manner..

LOL at the gif :D being optimistic is usually the best response, but it's definitely hard! I still hate that this is happening, but you're right there is a chance it's just a technical issue. Though if it turns out it was malicious, getting upset/angry is exactly what they wanted. Imagine how frustrating it would be for them (hypothetically) if you just continued on doing what you do best without giving a fuck about their antics. I sincerely hope it was just a glitch though.

Keep smiling Nikki! (Or throw your head back in laughter at the failings of mankind/technology, whichever works)^^

I'm so sorry that you have to go through all these things, I hope it really is technical issue. 'Cause no one with their rignt mind would do something awful like this. They must insane or insanely jealous of your talent.
And thump up for your attitude :D