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All skin and no shame

...innocence is just an illusion...

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Giveaway Winning Entry
Alright folks, the winner was asafecracker and she's too shy to post it in her own journal so i'm posting it for her in mine with her permission of course. I haven't changed any of the formatting and have posted it in the exact way she gave it to me.


Alone Time

yunho like to thinks that he is not a greedy person. he likes to do his best, strive to be the best he can be, and try to please everyone. He has a dream to be an idol star and he got it now,

yes he got it now.

yunho is not a greedy person.
not when he realized Junsu can dance and sing so effortlessly perfect

yunho is not a greedy person.
not when he heard Jae boast how he used to be tone deaf, but now he got a perfect mix of breathy nasal voice through practice and hard work

yunho is not a greedy person.
not when he saw how Changmin's mom always pack lunch box for him, and cook warm dinner in a home that is 20minutes away from office

yunho is not a greedy person.
especially not when he learn about Yoochun's dream of buying a yacht, sipping a glass of wine in open sea alone; while listening to Edith Piaf recording…crooning on and on about her lover.

no, he is not greedy and petty and competitive.

because he prefer Ella Fitzgerald.


our envy always lasts longer than the happiness of those we envy. -Mauricius-

so the fact that he is now singing along to Besame Mucho, in a yacht that he bought anonymously from Yoochun three months ago did not make him a greedy person.

yes, he is not greedy. he like to remind himself; he only bought it because he knows Yoochun take good care of his yacht, the yacht have a pretty name, the computer navigation system are top of the line with user friendly features, and especially because there is a build in turntable connected to awesome speakers.

not that awesome, he thinks as the sound of foreign language song drowns the oncoming violent wave sound, thus rocks the yacht, caused yunho spills his too sweet iced tea to the high gloss hardwood flooring.

maybe this is his punishment to covet other people dream, he thinks as he wipes the sticky puddle with a brand new hand-stitched dainty rag cloth.
that looks more like a doily, he thinks. well, it came from the counter top.

maybe he should use a tissue

whatever, this is his place now, his special sanctuary, his home away from home, at his darling boat and he is a captain now.
"Captain Yunho" voicing outloud, as he throws the delicate rag now blotted with sticky liquid to the sofa.

nodding to himself, yunho decide that he should make some rule in this boat.
no, that was wrong: he should make some rule in 'his boat'

laughing in a fake deep rumbling voice, while the dainty rag stare mockingly from the sofa.

ignoring the accusatory rag stare, and voicing out the rules to the awesome speaker instead midst pacing the glossy wood

as a captain he can use whatever cloth found necessary to wipe spilled ice lemon tea minus the lemon (the convenience store near the harbour run out of lemon tea he wanted)

as a captain he can listen to any foreign song he wants without feeling stupidly guilty (Ella Fitzgerald was not available in the record shop, so he ask for any album that have Besame Mucho in it)

as a captain he will not feel guilty for stealing his friend dream (he bought it legally and legitimately)

as a captain he will not dwell in past and move forward (moping around in train as per experience was deemed useless)

thinking of train; that remind him, smelling the smell of sea have help yunho before.
well to be exact it was the smell of fish gut and rotting curdle of fish market that wake him up in the past turmoil.

that's why he bought the yacht, so he can smell the sea at their very best. naked and violent at 83km southeast from Busan shoreline.

he did not done it because he is greedy, he conclude that line of thought; at the same time swallows down the bitterness of lost friendship that linger in.


there is no wall clock inside the boat, and yunho forgot to wear his watch.

computer shows the time, but he don't want to check it again after the 20th time deciding on route and checking he is not lost.

alone in the time being

he decide that time is not important now,

he is lazing on a lovely hammock in the deck

can feel the sea breeze in his face

smell the romance of open sea

cold beer in hand as cold sips flowing down crisply (so much better than that damnation of sweet tea)

whispers of vinyl record lulling from inside the boat

nothing but blue could be seen


with a dot of black approaching

not only black, but black with red

wait a second
that's not right! his brain whisper



have you ever felt time just disappear; when earth still rotate, but your mind froze; that moment when you are nowhere, then suddenly you are everywhere.

the first thing that comes to yunho mind is his group of stalker fan sink to a new low
they have been following him out to the open sea

they want to follow his to the international sea area,
where there is no law
where you can buy drugs
where you can marry your hand puppet or your anime pillow or your hammock
where they can rape him

panicking at the thought, he start scrambling to get out from the hammock, simultaneously spill the can of beer he's been holding
and ooze down to his polished deck floor

"perfect, just perfect"
thinking he should get the dainty rag from inside, before it could mark his 'glossy perfect hardwood just oiled' deck floor.

yunho slowly rise up

he can see the approaching black dot now,
except it was not a black dot, it was a black flag with red skull on it

not just any skull,
but a weirdly misshapen skull with red ribbon crookedly atop.

"pirates" he murmur to himself

yunho like to read the news, it gives him insight to
economy evaluation, observe government crisis, and know which country is in the brink of war.
and acknowledge that pirates is real, menacing, money hungry, highly trained team, and regulate by a big establish pirate organization.

quickly listing valuable he carry, nonchalantly think nothing invaluable brought aboard;
well, maybe his wallet, private phone, crate of beer, box of instant noodle, and one lovely hammock.

abruptly, it struck him.
he might get killed for human organs.
yes, organs are expensive

perhaps he could persuade pirates with heartfelt ballad and gut wrenching dance step.

all of a sudden, a male voice with heavy timbre startled him out of his imaginary useless tactic.

yunho look up to peek at the menacing pirates;
JYJ the trio, no, JYJ the trio of pirates

"captain of the ship, we are here to loot your worthy goods and then leave you alone, you have the right to remained silent whatever you may ~~~"
Yoochun yapping away about yunho rights as a captain of the ship and apparently a pretty hostage.

yunho just gawk silently, couldn't fathom that JYJ deliberately change profession into korean pirates.

Junsu start searching the yacht, singing and dance in harmony; accompanied by murmuring background music. Yoochun still prattling in poetic curls and slope of sonnet flowing past his smile.

thus following action makes yunhos hair stand up in awe.
and apparently that is how they communicate

Jae had his back turned sideways, his expressive eyes start scrutinizing ship deck and lovely hammock.

"not my lovely hammock!" a fraction of his brain screamed

" ~~~ cannot find anything valuables, so we're just going to take the vinyl record because junsu loves it and half of your ship" yoochun's word swiftly registered to yunho's brain.

"what?" he croaked, how could you take half of his ship? he loves it so much.
everyone love this ship. is it possible to cut the ship in half?
contemplating...Jae would never take half of his ship away, not even the dainty rag.

"Jae" yunho croaked
he plead to his oldest friend, the one he used to treasure, fight with, laughed with, and cry with.

Jaejoong start to turn around, looking straight into yunho's eyes
he is looking with such cold sharp eyes, so frighteningly piercing it sends smack of cold feeling to yunho's chest.

as if his heart got broken

taken aback yunho jerked unknowingly, Jae will never give such cold eyes to him.

not even when they fight; the eyes still warm, colored with anger
not even when they part; the eyes still warm, colored with regrets
not even when they never met again silence seeped between all five of them; when yunho brought up, the eyes still warm, colored with question
not even when all ties cut and JYJ blocked from doing promotions in TV, they have to resort through internet broadcast; when yunho brought up, the eyes still warm, colored with longing

Jaejoong eyes always warm to him; even to the mention of his name


this must be a dream

"but, some awful things that you thought can only exists in dream..cruelly become reality" his brain remind him

"never about Jae's eyes" specific brain fraction who still worried about his hammock whisper.

yunho wake up in the deck hammock, with cold beer spilled and drenched his chest

trickling down to his perfect hardwood floor.


pirates epitomize a freedom we all wish for but know we can't attain

crouching down, yunho wipes the deck floor, with the same dainty rags cloth.
grumbling, he chants the same mantra of remembered lyrics of Besame Mucho.

yunho is not a greedy person.
he did not dare to hope he could reach the top again
people said they breaking records left and rights. but if you want to be honest, tvxq as duo cannot reach places they used reach to as five

but this is now….is enough

yunho is not a greedy person
to get what he want, he did not want his friends to endure the same treatment that they cannot bear.

or say so

yunho is not a greedy person
he did not want to share his burden with three more people, one is enough.
he had lost contact with lot of friends before, break up with lovers, lost his family member

and remembering this,
still hurt like hell

yunho is not a greedy person
he just want his perfect hardwood floor to be as perfect as before

not stained with drips of his tears


time is always elastic, it could be warped and stretched like a rubber. -einstein-

yunho is a greedy person
now, all he want is to turn back time, set everything right and he will have all the happiness the world could offer.

especially he don't want to be alone now, eating his instant noodle, bitterly listening to the sea


time is relative concept, the past will feel like an illusion. what happened five minutes or five years ago will only be a memory away, and it will pass abstractly. relatively depend on how relevant the moment is according to one to preferences.
and even then; brain process akin to chaos will chop memory, recoloured it, and modified it into one own liking.

"I'm with my friend right now"

"still couldn't find the record you asked, maybe you should go to some specialized record shop, not just any CD store, they don't sell that kind of shit there"

"haven't you drift far enough yet so you won't get signal and stop bothering me"

"there's a satellite connection phone in the yacht? cool"

"what? I don't want to know about your dream!"

"thats fucked up"

"we will talk this when you're back from your vacation"
"get a nice long rest first"

"your acting is not that awful anymore, it's just bad now"
"yea yea yea"

"Its 11pm Seoul time"

Changmin hang up the call.

he is listening to his friends chattering away
and the clinking of glass wine around him,

Changmin face changes, something come up to his mind. .

he pick up his phone again, search through the name in the phone book, then press call

"hyung, I need a big favor"



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OK. So you might not know whom he called, but do you know what he was calling about?

hehehe..what do you think? everyone should have their different theory. and thats the beauty of it

maybe, he just want to order a pizza delivered to Yunho yacht. hehe

Edited at 2013-11-29 05:22 am (UTC)

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