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All skin and no shame

...innocence is just an illusion...

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Wishing On A Star [1/2]
Title: I’m Wishing On A Star
Pairing: Yunho/Jaejoong
Length: Oneshot
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Fantasy, fluff, supernatural, a little non-AU
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the story.

Summary: A little boy makes a wish, not realizing that all magic has a price…even the magic of Christmas.

AN1: I feel rusty writing something like this but no matter… Happy 10th Anniversary and Happy Holidays everyone… May the holidays bring joy to you and your loved ones, and maybe…just maybe we’ll find some magic too…

AN2: This was meant to be a oneshot but I exceeded the word limit again. I'm almost done and will post part 2 in a bit.

I’m wishin’ on a star
To follow where you are
I’m wishin’ on a dream
To follow what it means…

The little boy pouts as his parents pay more attention to his younger sister than to him. He likes the noisy little thing about as much as any other big brother, but really, enough is enough. It’s Christmas and surely he deserves some attention. It’s not like she’s a brand new present. She’s been around practically a year but looking at the way his parents act, you’d think Santa only just dropped her in a sack that morning for everyone to marvel at.

Yes, she’s very pretty and cute and the way she follows him around and bugs him makes him secretly smile, though he’d never admit it to anyone, not even his parents.

But enough is enough.

He wants some attention too.

He stares sadly as his parents coo at the gurgling toddler, before he quietly leaves the table, slipping out the door and into the living area.

There is a great big tree in the living room.

A first for him, and he remembers the awe he’d felt at how small he is in relation to the giant tree. Why, the tip practically touches the ceiling!

The young boy steps forward, inhaling the fragrant pine needles which tickle his nose and make him sneeze.

The sound seems loud in the empty room, but sadly, not even his sneezing brings either of his parents to him.

The little boy steps back, tilting his head till he can see the very pinnacle of the tree where a bright star is perched.

When his father had first unveiled it, he’d been upset.

Stars are meant to be white, or maybe even yellow.

Stars are not meant to be red.

But his father said that it’s a special star, the only one of its kind, and the adorable little boy believes him for his father is the world to him. When he grows up, he wants to be just like his father.

His smooth brow furrows.

With one tiny amendment.

If he has two children, he won’t forget the first one.

He stares at the red star.

It twinkles at him.

The little boy blinks, shaking his head, wondering if he’s imagining it.

He steps back a little further to get a better view and to ease the ache in his neck.

The star twinkles at him once again.

“Oh,” the young boy gasps. And the star twinkles in reply.

The tall, almost four year old takes another step back, feeling unafraid for it is just as his father had said.

The star is special.

”Make a wish…”

A whisper in the windless room caresses the child, a breathy young voice of another child, but that voice is so pure like the sound of tinkling bells and the chime of crystal drops.

“What?” the little boy looks around wildly, trying to find the source of the voice. The voice seems to very loud, yet so very soft. His eyes dart to the door to the living room, and yet again he is disappointed as it remains shut.

No parents to come to his rescue from the voice.

”Make a wish…”

He scrunches his eyes shut, hands clasped tight. He can feel tingles and ripples as if the air itself is moving around him, and he is starting to feel a brief sense of alarm.

But just as the alarm increases, a strange warmth wraps itself around him. A warmth that is familiar to him, for he recognizes its touch.


He calms down.

”Make a wish…”

“I wish…” he stops. What does he want? “I wish…” the almost four year old chews on his pouty bottom lip. A bad habit that his mother is trying to break him out of. “I wish…”

”Make a wish for yourself…”

His eyes spring open in surprise, mouth dropping open. “How did you know?” he demands, his voice loud in the silent room. He’d been about to wish a wish for his parents and his sister even though they’re all aggravating him at the moment. But he is the kind of little boy who can never wish ill on someone, and in his little three year old wisdom, he decides to make a happy wish for them.

”Make a wish for yourself…”

His eyes are drawn to the twinkling red star sitting atop the tall Christmas tree. The twinkling is so bright, he wonders how its light hasn’t penetrated the walls to alert his parents as to what is happening. The warmth around him intensifies. He feels safe, protected, and so very loved. A feeling he is missing from his parents’ that day as his sister takes her first steps, her achievement eclipsing the significance of the day itself for him. He doesn’t like being left alone, and a little surge of selfishness that has been hiding within him rears its head.

He clasps his hands, eyes steady on the brilliant red star twinkling merrily, his voice soft as he makes his wish.

“I wish to have someone that is just for me, always and forever mine.”

He is woken by someone playing with his toes.

The little boy scrunches his face, grumbling about it as he tries to hide his feet under the covers, only to find his body bare of covers.

He opens his eyes, surprised, yet unsurprised at what he finds.


He sits up quickly, scooting backwards till his head bangs against the headboard of his bed.

In a flash, the one who’d greeted him is by his side, rubbing his head, his little lips framing a perfect ‘O’ of dismay.

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to surprise you. I thought you were expecting me.”

He shakes his head, and the strange person stops rubbing.

“You weren’t expecting me?”

He nods.

The newcomer pouts, taking his hands back, he clasps them in front of him and tilts his head, staring at the wide-eyed boy in the bed. “I’m confused. Didn’t you ask for me?”

Little Jung Yunho is just as confused, resisting the urge to scratch his head and touch where the angelic child has touched him, oddly missing the contact, and wondering how he might be able to get more. He doesn’t think banging his head again will be a good idea though. The boy…or girl, he’s not sure yet, looks like one of the cherub sculptures he’s seen in church.

There is not other description for the chubby child who looks about his age.

“What’s your name?”

The angel pouts even more. “I know your name, why don’t you know mine?” His eyes dim for a brief moment, before they suddenly brighten. “Oh! I forgot!”

To Yunho’s shock, the child leans forward, pressing his pouty mouth against his lips in a brief kiss that tastes of peppermint candy.

Yunho’s mouth parts, and a name escapes in a breathy whisper just as the other child pulls back.


He’s not an angel.

Yunho is struggling to hold onto the memories of the little boy from the previous night who’d shown him wonders even beyond his own imagination. The glowing, giggling companion he now knows is a boy had pulled the covers over their heads, and when he’d pulled them back, Yunho had found himself in a room not his own, and yet it is.

”This is my room!”

Yunho looks around, taking in the familiar yet unfamiliar surroundings.

The differences are subtle, more in the quality of the furniture and the decor in general, but everything else right down to the placement of his empty cup of warm milk on the bedside table is identical.

“It looks like mine.”

“Of course it does, silly,” Jaejoong pokes his cheek cheerfully as he bounces out of bed. “I am yours and what is yours is also mine.” He hurries to the bedroom door before turning and cocking his head at the still boy in the bed. “Are you coming? We’ve got lots to do and I want more peppermint candy.”

“What if my parents see you?”

Jaejoong beams. “You have me. You don’t need anyone else.”

And apparently, that is that. Yunho is too young to question it, and for the moment, it makes sense to him. His sense of curiosity and adventure far outweighs the strange events and in the back of his mind is the thought that perhaps this is just a dream, and if it is, he will enjoy it. The idea that he might never see his parents again never occurs to him for he is wrapped up in such a cocoon of love that he cannot imagine this boy doing anything of the sort to him.

Exiting the door tells him instantly that he is no longer in his home.

He’s not even sure if he’s in Korea.

People of all shapes and sizes and colors are bustling around. For a little boy who is used to only seeing Koreans, seeing a pretty girl with flowing blonde hair pat his Jaejoong on the head before kissing his cheek makes his mouth drop.

“Why don’t you introduce me to your new friend?” the beautiful girl with the sparkling blue eyes and long blonde hair coaxes the vibrating Jaejoong who is rocking on the balls of his feet, mouth tugged into a smile so bright he is practically incandescent.

“This is Yunnie! I’m his.”

“Ah,” the girl’s smile widens as she gestures for Yunho to step forward.

The little boy suddenly remembers his manners despite the sudden attack of shyness as he bends over as far as he can go, almost toppling headlong to the floor, but a steady hand against his shoulder stays him. The giggle in his ear is like music as Jaejoong cautions him to be careful, still accompanied by a brilliant smile.

“So you found your elf?”

“My elf?” Yunho’s wrinkles his nose. “What elf?”

“I’m an elf, silly!”

And before Yunho can react, he gets another peppermint filled kiss to the mouth. He licks at his lips, tasting the sweet candy, and he wonders briefly if Jaejoong will always taste like Christmas. To a three-almost-four year old boy, Christmas means candy canes.

He pulls back to cast a serious eye over the beaming little boy next to him. He leans forward to check his ears.


“What?” the blonde girl and Jaejoong chorus together, their voices sounding like the chiming of bells.

Familiar bells.

“You don’t have pointy ears.”

Jaejoong pouts. “I’m growing into them, ok? I’m still small.”

“You’re kinda round,” Yunho points out, poking the slightly smaller boy in the belly. The honesty of a young child is something even other young children need to contend with.

Jaejoong’s mouth drops open, as the blonde girl chuckles.

“That’s the result of too much candy, little Yunnie. He’s perfect for you, baby Jae.” She straightens, ruffling the indignant round boy’s hair, chuckling as she does so. “You’re just as blunt. Who was it that told me I looked better as a blonde than a brunette?”

“Me,” comes the pouty response.

Yunho notices his new friend’s eyes are twinkling merrily though despite the pout, and he heaves an inward sigh of relief. Wanting to take attention from his slip, he turns to the beautiful tall blonde girl.

“What do you mean he’s my elf?”

She holds out her hand, and he grabs it, noticing that Jaejoong grabs her other hand as they walk down a giant hallway full of people running back and forth. Everyone pauses, to shout a greeting at them, but no one ever waits for a response. Yunho learns that the girl’s name is Joy.

“Every year, some special children get an elf. Some years, no children get any elves for they are all much too naughty or they are in no need of an elf. Jaejoong here has been waiting for you for years.”

“Four years?”

Tinkling bells cascade over the little boy as the blond laughs. “Much, much, much, longer than four years my little Yunnie.”

Yunho skips a little ahead to try and look around the girl’s long legs at his new companion who grins at him and does a little finger waggle in place of a wave, which brings a smile to Yunho’s face as he falls back in line with the other two. He feels indescribably happy, like his chest is about to burst from joy. The blonde girl is aptly named.

“But he looks my age!”

“He’s a little older than you, love.”

He’s not an angel.

And the little boy knows he isn’t dreaming, for he can still taste the sweet, sticky peppermint on his lips as his Jaejoongie kisses him goodbye at the end of the night.

I never thought I’d see
A time when you would be
So far away from home
So far away from me…

“I think he’s forgotten me.”

Joy stares at Jaejoong kicking dispiritedly out at his bed. His room is transformed, growing along with the boy he is bound to. Pictures of girls adorn the walls, and yet, she knows neither boy cares about them. It is just something expected of Yunho, and whatever interests Yunho, interests Jaejoong too.

“It’s only been one month, love.”

“One month, two months, three months, forever.” Jaejoong’s reply is filled with gloom, completely at odds with his normally effervescent personality. All the older elves know what’s in store for the thirteen year old, but for the first time in their history, they no longer have any idea what to expect, for everything related to Yunho and Jaejoong is already different to anything they have ever experienced since humans walked the earth.

Yunho has been a fixture in their world since the two boys met all those years ago.

Joy always has to intervene, to make it seem like Yunho is dreaming at the end of every night, but the older they get, the harder it becomes. They are not meant to breach the thin veil between the two worlds, but Yunho has come across so often that her powers don’t seem to be of any use, and she’s tried everything magically possible.

And then it happens.

Yunho hits puberty.

Someone should have warned Jaejoong.

Heck, she should have warned Jaejoong.

And really, Jaejoong should have known.

She knows that he probably chose to forget though, or perhaps his faith in their connection is stronger even than a predetermined occurrence.

And like all the other elves, none of them could bear to remind the beguiling young elf that his days with his ward are numbered for once a child hits adulthood, they will forget their elf.

Only children are allowed to believe in elves you see.

In their world, puberty is the line between childhood and adulthood.

There is another reason why only children are allowed to believe in elves.

Once an adult crosses the divide, they will always remember it, and nothing anyone can do will ever erase the memory, unless that said adult chooses to forget.

Imagine adults believing in elves?

“We lied to him.”

Joy is broken from her brief reverie, to face an anguished Jaejoong. His eyes are so full of sorrow, even she feels his pain.

“What do you mean?”

“You made him wish. You made me make him wish. And he wished for me, but we lied. You lied.”

“It’s not a lie, Jaejoong. You are still his, always and forever.”

“But he doesn’t know that!” The teenage elf wails, pain and anger lacing his voice as he stalks around his room, resisting the urge to kick out at things. The connection between elf and human is so strong that if Jaejoong messes up his room, chances are, Yunho will end up messing up his room too. Unlike Yunho though, Jaejoong answers to nobody.

Well, not quite. He has rules, but no one to bug him like a parent for his messy room.

“I am not an angel.”

“You will be,” Joy adds. “You know this. Have patience, Jaejoong. You’ve spent too much time with him to become this impatient.”

“I don’t want to be one if it means he can never see me again.”


“Let him speak,” a voice calls out from the doorway.

Joy immediately prostrates, as does Jaejoong, but the latter does it begrudgingly and everyone in the room can feel it.

The man waiting in the doorway never interferes with his elves. He barely interferes with the angels.

However, there’s been so much talk about the only paired human and elf in the last decade that even he knows about them.

Unlike everyone else though, he knows a little more.

But he always works within the realm of choice, which is why he is here.

“Stand up, elf. Tell me what you want.”

Jaejoong gains his feet slowly, trying to quash the hope in his heart. He misses Yunho more than he can articulate. He’s been around many humans and their elves, but as the term “elf” implies, most of the interactions occur around Christmas where their need is greatest. Contrary to popular belief, the holiday season is not always a time of joy, and children whose attention towards the luster of new toys are diminished for one reason or other are especially in need.

Yunho’s need for Jaejoong though, unlike all the other children and their own elves, outlasted the holiday season. Try as Joy does, and Jaejoong knows she’s tried hard, Yunho always wakes up with a ghost of a memory of his elf. A memory strong enough that it is sustained throughout the day, so much so that Yunho falls asleep every night with the name of his elf on his lips.

An elf is not allowed to ignore the call from their human.

This is Jaejoong’s doing.

The peppermint kisses are a powerful memory trigger, something he’d discovered by accident on the eve of the New Year of their first week together. He has since continued to use this information for his need for Yunho is just as great as the human’s need for him.

There has never in the history that he’s known, where an elf is this tied to their human. Many of the other elves, Joy included when she was an elf, go through dozens upon dozens of children. Sometimes, one elf may have several children attached to them in any given moment in time. Jaejoong has never paid any attention to it for innately, he knew he was created for only one reason.

To be Yunho’s everything.

For this reason, he’s always been seen as a quirky elf.


He’d insisted on staying as a young child for a score of years, till Yunho was finally born, much to the confusion of the other elves.

But no one questions it, for Joy insists they leave him be.

Joy is no elf.

She is the angel who oversees the elves, to help them in their transition towards the upper realms, and to guide them when they need her.

Unfortunately, her powers don’t seem to work on Yunho and Jaejoong.


“You need Yunho?”

“Yes,” Jaejoong nods, eyes downcast as he stares at the marble floor.

“Do you know what that means?”

“I know it’s not good for me,” Jaejoong’s voice comes out in a whisper. “I’ve heard the other elves discussing it, though no one seems to want to address it to me directly.”

“That’s because they don’t know, child. Everything is speculation as far as they’re concerned for nothing like this has ever happened before.”

“Did I break heaven’s rules?”

The man suddenly laughs, a great big hearty laugh that rolls down the corridors, echoing through every room in the immense complex that houses Jaejoong and his fellow elves.

Everyone stops what they’re doing, frozen by the laughter, the beauty of which mesmerizes them into stillness.

Everything touched by that laughter, pauses to listen.

Even the laughing brook outside the complex in the beautiful gardens of their world stops gurgling, in awe of that sound of mirth.

The only ones not affected are Joy and Jaejoong in the presence of the man, for in a juxtaposition, his presence in the room protects them from his effects.

“You didn’t break heaven, child, but you have definitely stumped almost everyone within it. As for its rules, let’s just say you were made to break rules.”

Jaejoong opens his mouth to speak further, but is cut off by a soft whisper in the windless room.


The elf crumples over immediately, dropping to his knees, bending over in pain as the whisper lingers within his room.

Joy’s eyes fill with tears as she sends a hapless look towards the man in the room whose countenance is now serious. “Can you see now? He should not have remembered.”

The man nods curtly, eyes moving to the broken form of the elf curled on the ground.


The whisper grows louder, echoing in the bedroom, and an anguished sound is ripped from Jaejoong’s throat as his will seeks to find his human, but his body is bound by the rules that govern it. He is literally being ripped in half from within.


Jaejoong is choking on his pain, his eyes filling with tears as they spill over and streak a hot path down his cheeks.

The man braces himself, knowing what is coming.

Never has this happened.

Never in a million lifetimes.

And it had to happen on his watch.

He hopes Jaejoong is willing to reap what he has sown.

”Jaejoongie, please… I love you…”

Yunho squeezes his eyes shut, the pain in his chest is intense.

For a month, he has gone about his day, wondering why he feels different.

Why he feels heavier.

Why it feels as if a dark cloud has settled over his head.

For a month he has stared listlessly at the walls of his room.

A whole month of barely eating, the slightly squishy young teenager has practically overnight, not just shot up in height, but also dropped some excess weight.

One month of changes wreaking havoc to his body, with no focal point.

Nothing to ground him.

For almost a decade he’s always had something.

And now that something is gone, and for the life of him, he cannot quite remember what it is that he’s lost.

The memories are like whispers in a strong breeze and try as he might, they always float that little bit out of his reach.

His sister comes in then with a bowl of chicken soup.

“Oppa, umma says you need to eat. You’re a growing boy and she doesn’t want you to become skinny.”

“I don’t care, Jihye.” Yunho turns over, his back to his sister as he curls into himself, stifling the sounds of pain as his chest feels like it has a fist around his heart squeezing the life out of him. The pain is also deep in his belly, as if someone is trying to reach within him and rip him into two.

Not that it matters, for he hasn’t felt whole in a month.

“Oppa…” the almond eyed beauty stares at her brother. She can see he is in pain. She can see the light leaving him about a month or so ago. She doesn’t know what or why, but she wants to fix it. She loves her brother more than he knows and his pain is also her pain though she cannot feel it. She is a kind young girl, growing up being doted on by both parents and her brother, and she is more sensitive than most children her age.

She knows something happened about a month ago, and she can barely recognize her brother now.

Jihye puts her hand into her pocket, drawing out something from a holiday past.

A small candy cane she’d found in her school bag.

It is a little dusty, and grimy, but the plastic wrapping is intact.

She wipes it on her dress, cleaning it as best she can before she steps forward, knees against the side of her brother’s bed as she gazes at his back.

“I know you love Christmas,” she whispers. “I hope this will make you think of Christmas, if even just for a little while,” she drops the candy down his front, before turning and fleeing his bedroom before he has a mind to scold her.

Not that he ever does, but she doesn’t want it to start now in any case. Her brother’s moods have been unpredictable for weeks, and their parents let it pass, knowing he is going through puberty.

Yunho feels the slide of plastic against his skin, and the telltale crinkling sound.

He feels it fall against his chest, the pain easing for a brief moment as he reaches blindly to grasp at the item.

A soft sound of surprise leaves his lips when his fingers curl around the familiar shape of a small candy cane.

The smile that breaks across his face is his first genuine smile in weeks. His sister knows him too well. Christmas is indeed his favorite holiday, and this is his favorite part of the holiday.


He cannot explain.

How many teenagers look forward to candy canes on Christmas?

Even more so than any gifts.

Not many, save for this teenager at least.

His fingers fumble as he tries to strip the plastic wrapping quickly, his mouth dry and his throat parched. He can feel his heart pounding in anticipation of that first taste, and his saliva glands explode in preparation just as he manages to free the sticky treat from its confines.

The first taste of the sweet, peppermint candy is heaven on his tongue.

Just one second of heaven.

A second of blissful unawareness, a teenager simply happy at being given a sweet treat.

He licks his lips.

Yunho’s entire body stiffens instantly, awareness flooding through him as his mind opens up, freeing the locked memories now triggered by the candy.

He sweeps his tongue across his lush bottom lip.

The sound of breathless giggles fill his ears, laughter at his expense after he’d gotten into trouble for “borrowing” a jar of cookies from Joy.


His hand trembles as he raises it to his mouth, rubbing the hooked end of the candy cane across his mouth, eyes staring at the wall opposite, unseeing.

He runs the tip of his tongue along his top lip lightly, tasting the sweet essence left by his candy cane.

He can practically see the pout on the other boy’s face, unhappy at being bested at a game he’d invented. What the game is, is anyone’s guess, but the important thing is that Yunho won and the other boy didn’t.

”You cheated!”

“No, I didn’t! I never cheat!”

“But I’m an elf! How can you beat me?”

Yunho darts quickly forward, pressing up against the smaller boy who lets out a sharp gasp at the contact but he doesn’t move away. He pushes a lock of jet black hair behind his ears, peering at them.

“Still not pointy, Jaejoongie.”

“I’m still growing into them!” The shorter male exclaims huffily pushing his companion away, making Yunho laugh.

“I won! More kisses for me. Come on, and pay up!”

The elf begrudgingly digs into his pocket to unearth what’s left of the very hard to find Pumpkin Spice Hershey’s Kisses.

Yes, even in his world they’re impossible to get in the middle of April.


Yunho’s voice is hushed, his eyes clenched shut as the memories assault him.

How could he have forgotten?

How long has it been?

Where is his Jaejoongie?


Something isn’t right. He can feel it. He’s changed, and therefore something has changed. The pang in his heart grows worse as he chews on his own bottom lip, sucking on it as he clenches his eyes shut, his hand fisting the small candy cane so hard it snaps in half.

“Jaejoongie, please… I love you…”

Next - Part 2

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Yay perfect for the holidays, thanks so much!

Wow ! This is so good , makes me smile and feel this pang In my heart while reading ! And here it is early morning and this is really beautiful story to start my day with :) looking forward for the 2 part

I had a pang while writing too but i'm glad it made you smile. Thank you so much.

it's Christmas... and yet I'm crying... T^T
I felt Jaejoong's pain.. and so was Yunho... T_____T
since 10th anni is coming, I think everyone is being emoshinki...
I thought this was going to be fluff but... a little angst won't hurt and yet it breaks my heart seeing YunJae is pain T___T
I'm contradicting myself don't I Nicki?
have a happy holiday! ^-^
can't wait for part two ^^

I've been emoshinki since the 23rd and that's not cool. I don't do emoshinki. I don't! I feel like an angsty teenager again omg but seriously these men make me do weird things :-/

Hope you have a happy holiday too and that you liked the second part.

this fic is adorable! i love fics that make Yunho and Jaejoongs love so special! Yunjae is special! :')
i love the concept of the elves turning into angels huhu! ^^
okay i will continue reading now haha :D

“Jaejoongie, please… I love you…”
baby ;_____;

i love christmas too, just like yunho here :D
thanks for sharing! <3

User chu_z_lover referenced to your post from Wishing on a Star saying: [...] magic has a price…even the magic of Christmas. Universe : hybrid Status: complete Part One [...]

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