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All skin and no shame

...innocence is just an illusion...

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Title: ICE/SB crossover oneshot: Miracle
Pairing: YunJae
Rating: PG-13
Length: Oneshot
Genre: AU, mild angst, fluff, slice of life
Disclaimer: I don't own anything apart from the story. I wish I had YunJae and if I had my way, they'd move to New Zealand so they can be MARRIED here :P

Summary: Jung Jaejoong has always been Yunho’s miracle, but he knows that when push comes to shove, any other little miracles will always take second place to him in his husband’s eyes. Unable and unwilling to chance this again, he seeks the help of another man.

AN: This muse was holding my other muses hostage. I had to discharge this one before being able to even look at something else.



The blond taps his fingers impatiently on the marble countertop of the swanky bar. He swivels back and forth on the stool, oblivious to the creaking sound bothering some nearby patrons, so lost in thought as he sucks absentmindedly on the finger he has just dipped into his soda water.

No one thinks to admonish him.

It doesn't even occur to anyone to tell him to stop spinning in half circles and make his chair stop squeaking.

This is an exclusive restaurant where entry is by invitation only, and the blond man sitting at the bar is married to the owner.

Heck, he's married to the owner of the entire seventy storey hotel where this 360 degree revolving restaurant is perched right at its pinnacle, with an uninterrupted million dollar view of the Han River.

A hotel that has a history, the original having been torn down years ago because Jung Yunho didn’t want any memories associated with a bleak time when he thought he’d lost his wife. In its place is a staggering homage of his love for the man, built painstakingly and decorated in an exacting manner that satisfies the rather easy to satisfy wife of the Jung. The sheer magnitude of the build had singlehandedly transformed the skyline of that side of the Han River, and neighboring hotels had been forced to either shut down or follow suit.

Jung Yunho is nothing if not ruthless when it comes to business and thanks to this very hotel which was a pioneer of its kind at the time in terms of opulence and service, he now owns every single hotel on that side of the river. There is a hotel to suit every budget but he will never ever allow, whether it makes business sense or not, any other hotel to be better than the one his wife is currently sitting in.

The result now is a spectacular destination where service is of paramount importance. Each guest, no matter the budget, is treated like royalty and given due consideration, so the service that Jung Jaejoong received all those years ago by a rather unfortunate man is not replicated.

And so his chair squeaks on as the gorgeous blond man sits lost in thought. He is not usually this inattentive to his surroundings but he has a lot on his mind.

Another man walks into the otherwise hushed atmosphere. A man that cause several to do double takes, and others to inhale a sharp breath, not quite able to believe their eyes.

All watch as if in a tennis match following the ball over the net as their eyes flow back and forth from one stunning blond to another icy raven haired beauty.

"Are they related?"

"The Kims only have one son."

“He’s not a twin? He had twins didn’t he? Don’t they run in the family or something?”


"Who is that then?"

"His doppelgänger?"

The blond continues to be deaf to the whispers around him but not so much the older newcomer who sends a very frosty glare sweeping across the room. He stares unashamedly at the more daring till one and all look away, unable to meet the diamond-like eyes of the leather clad man.

He's known by many names throughout the years. Some names stick and others do not, but one has been with him for almost twenty years.


And today, he is about to come to the rescue of a very unlikely "damsel in distress".

"Penny for your thoughts?" He chuckles lowly as the blond whirls around. "Do you even know what a penny looks like? Maybe several million won would be more apt?"

"Hyung!" The blond hops off the bar stool, wrapping his arms around the bemused dark haired superstar and hugging him tightly. He inhales the leather jacket as he sighs forlornly into it, his hug tightening as the older man brings his own arms around him to hug him back.

"I told you they were related." A voice hisses under her breath only to be given an eyeroll sent her way by the very sharp eared Hero Jaejoong.

His hearing has improved over the years, having learned from his younger counterpart on how to stay ahead of his two very mischievous children. Hyuna is growing up to be a bit of a troublemaker while Jongdae has apparently taken after him somehow, with the voice of an angel and none of the dancing abilities of Uknow Yunho. Both children are hopeless pranksters, Jongdae the biggest troll who ever lived, fed by his uncle Micky Yoochun who is more than happy to encourage the boy.

The lady in question looks away immediately, unable to hold the stare of the still very gorgeous rock idol.  A rock idol in the dawn of his late 30s but it doesn't show.

Hero Jaejoong could pass as a fraternal twin of the blond in his arms easily had the man in question too looked his age, kept youthful by his much younger husband and their two children. Laugh lines crease his eyes though and it is testament to how much the idol has grown for he wears those wrinkles in his otherwise perfectly smooth face, with pride.

"Hyung..." Jung Jaejoong breathes out shakily as he finally pulls away, leaning back to stare at someone practically his mirror image.

"I dare say if you called your husband's name that way he'd clear this room in a second."

Instead of the bright smile that always accompanies the child psychologist’s face at the mere mention of his husband, his face falls slightly which alarms Hero instantly.

The love between Jung Yunho and Jung Jaejoong is the stuff of fairy tales. Loathe to admit it at first, Hero took awhile to accept the fact that he and his own spouse have a fair way to go before reaching the level of the Jungs. The picture perfect family with their smarter than average brood of kids is a little dismaying when you're still struggling to figure out your children and your relationship while trying to manage being constantly in the limelight. But Hero learned early on to take advice rather than to spurn it because of jealousy, and he has benefited far more from this than he can ever thank the woebegone younger man for.

So when Jung Jaejoong called that morning, asking if they could meet because he needs some advice, Hero Jaejoong rearranged his entire schedule to accommodate the man. The blond has taught him about love, marriage, and children; not by lecturing, but by example. Hero owes him a lot.

"I don't know if he would..."

Jaejoong drops his chin, staring morosely at Hero's beautiful leather jacket. The man is always wearing something leather, and Jaejoong has grown accustomed to attributing the scent to the rockstar.

Hero frowns ferociously, squeezing Jaejoong's chin as he tilts the younger man's face up to meet his eyes. He schools his features as best he can as he somehow manages to maneuver them both onto the bar stools.

"Your husband would do anything for you. And I truly mean anything. It used to terrify me I'll have you know because I think if you asked him for the moon, he would actually try and give it to you. And if you asked for the sun, he would gladly die trying to get it for you."

"You're exaggerating," Jaejoong mumbles, colouring slightly at the earnest words.

"Oh?" Hero's famous eyebrow quirks as his lips twitch, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. "This is a man who booked out the fucking Louvre for you, shutting it down for an entire weekend just so you could peruse in comfort because you weren't feeling well and didn't want to deal with crowds. I cannot even begin to imagine the money or the favors that took. It was headline news here in Seoul did you know? My Yunho laughed and told me he hopes I never ask because he doubts he can afford it."

Jaejoong opens his mouth to protest but a warm hand against his mouth silences him.

"And what about the fireworks over the Eiffel Tower? Or the yacht, commissioned and hurriedly renamed after you that you sailed down the Thames? Seoul follows the Jungs pretty closely and your husband's exorbitant splurge over you for your Europe trip was very newsworthy. Mind you that was just England and France.”

Hero chuckles ruefully as he continues, stroking the blond’s chin with his thumb as he speaks.

"Most people are lucky to get diamonds on a ten year anniversary. You get a diamond mine."

"It was just a joke..." Jaejoong mutters uncomfortably as he pulls Hero's hand from his mouth.

Hero grins, chucking the blond under the chin as he leans back and waves at the hovering bartender, asking for a beer. He returns his gaze to the still somewhat downcast younger man.

"Have I convinced you yet?"

"Money means nothing."

Hero thanks the bartender for the beer, grabbing Jaejoong's discarded drink as he hops off the bar stool. He is more than aware of the eyes and ears on them and he doesn't want Jaejoong's affairs anywhere near a gossip column.

They are immediately met by a waiting "butler" who escorts them quickly into the VVIP room, one solely used by the Jungs or Kims when any are dining.

“Food will be served when you ask for it. Everything has been prepared and will take but a few minutes to serve,” the butler murmurs before shutting the door behind the gorgeous duo.

Hero’s expression is bemused as he turns to find the blond already settled amongst the very comfortable looking cushions in the corner of the room, and the sigh from the younger man could possibly topple Seoul Tower. He walks over, dropping heavily onto the cushions himself and taking a long swig of his drink.

“What’s for lunch?”

“Sashimi for you, bread and water for me,” comes the morose reply as Jaejoong dips his finger into his drink again and sucks on the tip.

“Bread and water?” Hero bursts out laughing. “I thought theatrics were more your girls’ thing, or even your youngest son. I guess they got it from you, huh?”

“I’m serious!” Jaejoong huffs. “I can’t have seafood. Not raw seafood anyway.”

“This is a Michelin star restaurant. I’m sure they can do better than water and bread.”

“I don’t want anything else. It makes me feel sick.”

Hero leans forward, serious now as he looks the blond whom he now belated sees is noticeably paler than usual.

“What’s wrong, Jae?”

“You’re good at manipulating people aren’t you?”

Hero frowns. “Maybe. Why is that?”

“I need to manipulate my husband.”

“Why the hell would you want to do that?”

Jaejoong’s smile is bleak. “Have you met my husband?”


“How do you find him?”

“Terrifying. But he’d do anything for you.”

“That’s the problem.”

“How is that a problem?” Hero is aghast. If someone wanted to do anything for him, he’d welcome it with open arms. And then here is Jung Jaejoong looking like his world is about to end because his husband loves him so much.

“Do you know what happened when I had the twins?”

Hero wrinkles his nose, a very youthful gesture, one that is mirrored by the younger man. “I’ve heard Jiyool talking about it once to Chunnie when she was scolding him. You almost died, didn’t you?”

Jaejoong stares at the thickly carpeted floor, rubbing his bare feet in the luxurious surface as he props his chin on both knees, looking a great deal younger than his 31 years. “Yes. And yet I remember Yunho telling the doctors to save me instead of them if a choice had to be made. Save my wife he said,” Jaejoong’s voice is almost a whisper as his eyes fill at the memory. ”If you have to make a decision, save my wife.” A tiny tear spills out, its path down a pale cheek agonizingly slow to Hero’s eyes.

The rockstar has seen Jung Yunho with his wife, and the words of the blond are unsurprising to him. He wonders if the twins know, and he surely hopes they do not for it is bad enough to carry the burden that you almost killed the man who brought you life but to know that your father would have rather seen you dead than lose his wife…it would be too much.

“They don’t know.”

Hero feels a shiver go up his spine. Jaejoong’s uncanny ability to read a person still bothers him.

“I’m sure whatever it is, you can talk to him.”

“Do you know I was never meant to have Minnie?”

“What do you mean?”

A soft smile breaks across the younger man’s mouth, though he is still staring at the floor, eyes unseeing as he speaks. “After the twins, the doctors told me I couldn’t have any more children. It wasn’t about the danger of it, but rather some parts were damaged in the haste of trying to get the distressed twins out and the likelihood of having another child was almost nil. However, it was a blessing in disguise for the risk involved in another pregnancy was higher. The likelihood of complications that could result in permanent damage to either the bearer or the child was 20%.”

“He’s more than fine, Jae. More than fine.”

“Yes,” Jaejoong’s smile widens infinitesimally. “He’s our miracle baby.”

Hero is finally starting to get the picture. He can’t believe it’s taken him this long in the conversation but he finally gets it.

“You’re pregnant again, aren’t you?”


“Your husband doesn’t know?”


“How long have you known?”

The fear in Jaejoong’s eyes as he looks up at Hero almost takes his breath away. “Too long.”

“What do you mean too long?”

“Too long to be able to do anything about it…”

Hero moves.

He is on his hands and knees next to the distraught blond, holding him by the shoulders. “Jaejoong, how? How did you keep it from him? This pregnancy must be even more high risk than Minnie. You cannot keep this from him!”

“When I found out it was already too late for any termination to be deemed safe. I never ever expected to be able to get pregnant again. Never in my wildest dreams.”

Hero reads the lie in the younger man’s eyes though and he sighs, sitting back on his heels as he stares at Jaejoong, whispering a mantra anyone who knows the Jungs will be familiar with.

“What Jaejoong wants, Jaejoong gets…”

The blond bursts into tears.

The idol can do no more but pull the weeping man into his arms and hold him tight. He is unsure about what the real problem is. Surely Jung Yunho wouldn’t insist on termination?

“I don’t want to choose. I don’t want him to have to choose. Oh god, what have I done?” Jaejoong sobs pitifully, clinging desperately to the older man as he cries his fear. He has been plagued by nightmares for almost a fortnight, carrying the burden alone, too afraid to share it.

Alright, maybe he might, but Hero doesn’t think so. Jung Yunho loves his wife, but he also loves his children. There is no doubt about that. The man is still terrifying cold and distant, but Hero has witnessed the warmth, and the man basks in the light reflected off his effervescent wife and he shines on their five children.

He coaxes the sobbing blond from his shoulder, cupping the younger man’s face in his hands and thumbing away his tears. Jung Jaejoong looks like a heartbroken teenager, and Hero’s heart clenches for the man’s pain. He can almost taste the agony the man is going through and if he wants to somehow manipulate his husband into being alright with him being pregnant, then Hero will help him.

But first, he needs Jung Jaejoong to understand what it is that he wants.

“You do know you’re not being yourself, right? I hear pregnancy hormones can wreak havoc on perception.”

Jaejoong nods, but the tears don’t stop leaking out of his solemn doe eyes filled with pain.

“You know your husband best, Jae.”

The blond nods and Hero continues.

“But I really don’t think he’d react as badly as you think he might.”

Jaejoong starts to struggle immediately, as if physically wanting to reject the rockstar’s words, but the older man is stronger and he really wants the younger to understand.

“You have a marriage that doesn’t require manipulation of any sort. Do you really want it to turn into one? I know you can talk to him about anything and him to you. How would you feel if he manipulated you into something? Tell me, Jae. What it is that you want?”

“He’d never do that!”

“Then why are you?”

“I can’t kill my babies…” Jaejoong whispers, his expression stark.

“No one is asking you to, least of all Yunho.”

“He will.”

“Are you sure?”

Jaejoong goes to nod, but stops when Hero’s mouth suddenly drops open.

“Wait, what?”


“Babies? As in plural?”

Jaejoong’s expression becomes even more haunted as he nods.

“Fuck. Ok. That changes things.”

“I told you…”

Hero cards his hair as he stares at the sniffling blond whose eyes are slowly filling with dim hope. Hope he knows the younger man is looking for in him.

“Were there any complications with JJ or Minnie’s pregnancy and birth?”

“JJ was the textbook pregnancy and birth. She came out exactly when she was supposed to and I experienced everything I was supposed to. Minnie was ok as well apart from the birth because I mistook the labour pains and he should have been out earlier than he was, but no complications despite the emergency c-section.”


“Pregnancy was alright as well. It was just the birth.”

“So he’d panic over a multiple over a single baby?”

Jaejoong nods immediately. “I wouldn’t be as worried if it was just one.”

“How far along are you?”

“14 weeks.”

“How in the fuck have you managed to keep this from him? My Yunho can tell if I had too much to eat at dinner. I’m sure yours can practically draw you from memory. Every single mole included. And he will most certainly notice a baby bump. You must be showing by now.”

Jaejoong nods as tears fill his eyes once again. He stands slowly, tugging his teeshirt up to show the very slight curvature of his belly.

“Seriously,” Hero breathes out, staring at the man’s pale belly. “How the fuck have you managed to hide that?”

“He’s been away for the last two weeks in Europe. He’s coming back tomorrow morning in time for the annual back-to-school Parents’ Summer Talent Show.”

“No video chat fucking? Nothing? I’m finding this hard to believe.”

“I’ve been a little snippy with him so that doesn’t happen,” Jaejoong admits, not at all shocked by the rockstar’s words. “In fact, I hung up on him yesterday so I don’t think I’m his favorite person right now.”

“Oh, Jae.” Hero shakes his head at the his friend. “Jung Jaejoong, you could have razed his empire to the ground and you will still be his favorite person.”

“You give me too much credit.”

“Anyone with eyes can see it. And it’s why you’re in this dilemma in the first place. He loves you so much you’re afraid he will choose you over your unborn children. How can anyone give more credit than that?”

“Good point,” Jaejoong admits ruefully.

Hero pounces on that immediately. “See? You’re not thinking very straight are you? Now tell me, do you really want to do this?”

“I just want him to believe. I need him to believe that it will be alright.”

“Do you know it will be alright?”



Doe eyes meet matching doe eyes.

“It will be alright because I want it to be alright.”

“Why can’t this determination work with Yunho then? What Jaejoong wants, Jaejoong gets?”

“The universe can’t argue with me. My husband can.” Jaejoong replies.

Hero shakes his head, chuckling slightly. “Whatever makes sense to you. I’ll help.”

“Let’s do this.”


“Do you know what mama is going to be performing?”

“Not a clue. I just know he’s with Hero oppa,” JJ answers, hearts in her eyes and voice.

“It’s gon be good,” Yoochun grins, earning himself a half hearted smack from Jiyool who chides him and tells him to speak properly.

“Oppa?” Changmin scoffs. “I think he’s an ahjusshi. He’s almost as old as daddy.”

“What do you know? You’re only itty bitty.”

“Am not!”

“Are to!”

“Am not!”



“Children,” a new voice interrupts, and Junsu and Changmin hush instantly as their father joins them in their row.

All five know better than to mess with their father that day for the man had been rather irritated at coming home that morning to find his wife nowhere in sight. Jiyool and JJ had both spent a good half hour talking the man out of searching Seoul for their missing mama whom they know full well was with Hero Jaejoong rehearsing. A phone call to the man had been enough to stay their father, but it hadn’t been enough to get him out of whatever funk he’s in.

The children are happy to see their father of course, but the man’s moods give them caution sometimes for they all know that their father has his bouts of bleakness without their mama. It is only the gorgeous now-blond man who can coax him out of these moods. They are very rare, and each child has experienced it only once each.

Today will be the second time collectively for all of them.

“So, daddy,” Changmin starts, leaning against his father’s arm and getting a half hug in return. “Do you think mama will beat your magic show last year?”

“No way!” Yoochun and Junsu both reply in unison. “Daddy cut Yoolie in half! No way mama can top that!”

“I’m sure he can,” JJ replies, stars in her eyes and voice now, making her older sister roll her eyes.

“And why is that?” Jiyool asks, though she knows the answer well enough.

“Because he’s taking notes from Hero oppa and Hero oppa is…amazing.”

Four children groan at the stars and hearts in their sister’s voice and reflected in her shining doe eyes. It’s not really her fault though. Her vocal coach and choir teacher is a Hero Jaejoong fan and clearly it’s rubbed off.

“Is it just Hero?” Jung Yunho questions his oldest daughter who nods in reply.

While he is completely at ease with Hero and the younger Yunho being around while he isn’t, Uknow Yunho resembles him a little too much for him to be completely comfortable with the idea of the man being around his gorgeous wife.

Not that he has any cause for concern, but Jaejoong’s behavior since his trip to Europe has been bizarre to say the least. While they used to talk several times a day, Yunho is lucky to even get five minutes a day in the past fortnight. There’s always something going on.

Jiyool needs help with her homework.

JJ has to do vocal exercises and wants him to listen.

Yoochun is writing a short poem and requires a sounding board.

Junsu’s football uniform has a rip and it has to be mended right now.

Changmin is sick and wants soup and he has to go to the supermarket to get ingredients.

The list goes on.

And the reasons get more and more ludicrous.

If Yunho wasn’t in the middle of negotiating a lucrative deal that will benefit not just him but his country, with the European Union, he would’ve left a week ago.

As it is, he’s missing out on the Grand Ball that signifies the end of the talks. The opportunity to mingle and network is practically priceless, but to Jung Yunho, nothing is more priceless than every Jung under the roof he is currently sitting under, and so he flies back early.

Only to be met with Krystal making breakfast with Jiyool helping, and his wife nowhere to be found.

Should he worry?

The lights dim just then, and the emcee comes out, announcing the start of the annual talent show.

“Oh god…I think this year was worse than last year. Does no one even try anymore?” Jiyool grumbles as she slumps against her father’s side. The Jungs have all played musical chairs of sorts, changing seats during the three hour show so every child gets to hug their parent. “How do they expect to be good examples to their children if they won’t even put effort into something that happens once a year? Talk about bad parenting.”

Yunho’s mouth quirks into a ghost of a smile at his daughter’s huffy tone. “Most of the parents who send their children here are very busy, love.”

“That’s not an excuse!” Changmin’s voice is a little shrill as he sits up to stare up at his father. “You and mama are very busy too but you always try your best. I really don’t think any parent here can say they’re busier than you and if they do then I say they’re a great big fibber!”

“Minnie!” JJ admonishes quietly, hugging her irritated baby brother. Secretly, she agrees with her siblings. Yoochun and Junsu are sound asleep on her other side, bored out of their minds and having been up late the previous night playing god only knows what game. Changmin had slept in the girls’ room because of it. She reckons with the kind of money needed to get into their school, the least the parents could do was invest in a couple of vocal lessons before trying to sing. She is pretty damn sure she’s learned new non-existent notes that day.

The only act worth mentioning was an interesting pole dance performance by someone’s trophy wife that had half the adult audience gaping and the other half trying to cover the eyes of their offspring. Jung Yunho had merely rolled his eyes and pulled his youngest into his lap to hug him throughout the perplexing routine.

Yoochun and Junsu had watched slack jawed and Yunho had made a mental note to talk to the boys later.

The audience is getting restless along with the Jungs. There is only one act left, and to the minds of the Jungs, not to mention most of the audience who know them, the best is always saved for the last.

“Mama just has to smile, and he’ll win this,” Changmin declares. “I reckon his smile would’ve taken more effort than any of these performances…except maybe that weird dancing one.”

Jiyool face palms as her father quietly scolds his exhausted and obnoxious young son. He is like Jiyool, getting noisier and more obnoxious the tireder he is. And he really has been a little under the weather the last week so his limited patience is practically non-existent.

“And last but certainly never the least, a performance by our very own Jung Jaejoong whom I remember having the pleasure teaching as a child. The stage direction and band was supplied by none other than Hero Jaejoong whom I had the pleasure of meeting earlier. Please give a warm welcome to Jung Jaejoong.”

Yunho doesn’t miss the emphasis on pleasure by the portly emcee onstage, and he lets a smirk loose. Hero Jaejoong is certainly a pleasure alright. A pleasure best left to Uknow Yunho.

The applause is loud, some for the benefit of the tall, brooding man sitting in the front row and dead centre. Even those who dislike him know better than to get on the wrong side of Jung Yunho. However the applause is also mostly genuine for Jung Jaejoong is extremely well-liked by parents and their children alike.

“Finally.” Changmin huffs, hopping out of his seat to prod his brothers awake. “Mama’s up. Wake up!”

The twins rouse, their eyes following the theatrically slow rise of the heavy red velvet curtains shielding the stage as they rub sleep away.

The stage is pitch black, and the audience is hushed as they watch, searching to find some sign of the beautiful man.

The tinkle of piano keys resound in the large hall, the school auditorium housing 3,000 people easily and it is filled to capacity.

“Is mama playing the piano?”

“Hush, Minnie!” JJ whispers, squeezing her brother who surprisingly, stays silent.

A beam of light trails down the centre aisle of the auditorium, moving inexorably towards the stage as the tinkling keys continue to play, teasing everyone.

The audience is holding their breath, surprisingly so for a mere parents’ talent show, but the darkness, and the playful piano keys has everyone on the edge of their seats.

The previous year, Jung Yunho had stunned them all with a masterful magic show act that to this day still has his oldest daughter smiling coyly when asked how her father had sawn her in half.

Jung Jaejoong has big footsteps to fill.

When the light hits the stage, illuminating the figure standing dead centre, the collective gasp is loud.

”Give me one last hug…
Give me one last kiss…
Give me one last hug…
Give me one last kiss…”

The blond is all but whispering the words, eyes on no one but his shocked husband. The longing and love in his voice as he breathes the words causes Jiyool to bite her lip, and her sister to marvel at their mama’s ability to stay on pitch.

Hero Jaejoong watches from the side, wondering if he’s managed to minimize this purported manipulation. Jaejoong wanted a way for Yunho to be unable to even ask for a termination, and well…the way he used to perform this song is a very appropriate way of somewhat ensuring that. There is no mistaking the curve in the man’s belly, and the intricately drawn “tattoo” brings his belly to the attention of everyone.

The song is very personal to him, but for Jung Jaejoong, he will let him have it. He’d been shocked by the younger man’s raw talent, unsurprised when Jae admits to him that he sings at home fairly often.

He will do the song justice.

And while Hero isn’t really the praying kind, he prays for the Jungs.

”I don’t want you to go…please…”

Yunho has no idea where to look.

His wife’s face is heartbreakingly beautiful, his newly blond hair reminiscent of when they first met, but the shade much lighter compared to back then.

And yet, still so very perfect.

The shiny jacket fits him perfectly…and that is where Yunho’s mind comes to a dead end.

His wife is topless.


Wearing nothing but an unbuttoned jacket and tight pants that leave almost nothing to the imagination.

He hears the words, and his brain is registering them.

He sees the tattoo and he sees…what is he seeing?

No fear.

There is no fear.

Is that his wife onstage?

He can see him.

He can hear him.

Jaejoong is his heaven.

He is most certainly his paradise.

The band quietens, as the piano comes alive once again.

Neol saranghae…”

Jaejoong voice builds as he grabs the microphone stand, pouring all the love he has for his family, and the strong man in the front row staring at him like he’s never seen him before.

The auditorium echoes with his lament.

Some recognize the song, and for those who don’t, they are moved anyway.

It is very obvious that Jung Yunho loves his young wife, because the monetary output from the man to show it could probably power a small nation. The man’s actions are overt and some might even say “too much”. Others whisper about him overcompensating for something that no one knows anything about.

Gossip follows the Jung family, but it is mostly envy that fuels it.

Yunho isn’t a showy man by nature, but for his wife, everyone knows he would do anything.

The most recent Europe trip had even people within the upper echelons of society talking. They are unsure what Jung Yunho is compensating for by spoiling his wife so thoroughly, but whatever it is, it has to be something big.

Love? They scoff at it, but they all secretly know the truth.

There is no one more beloved in South Korea than Jung Jaejoong is by his husband.

But Jung Jaejoong himself is a bit of an enigma.

He is always photographed gazing adoringly up at his husband, but that is all.

This is the first time anyone has ever witnessed the only son of the Kim media magnate showing the world exactly how much he loves his family.

His husband.

Each word echoes with that love.

It fair shakes the very walls of the auditorium they helped to finance.

The band comes alive right then as Jung Jaejoong throws his arms out, his voice soaring up across the audience.




Hero Jaejoong has taught him well.

Yunho cannot ignore it any longer.

He knows is wife’s body like the back of his hand, and his eyes follow each curve.

Each new curve.

The cold hand of fear is starting to touch him, tickling up and down his spine, sending goosebumps sprouting across his body.


He hears the words.

He hears what his wife is singing.

And he cannot look away, the icy touch of fear is surrounding him.

How many more miracles is Jaejoong promising him?

The song soars even more as his wife rips the microphone from the stand and gets down on his knees.

Eyes only on Yunho, he begs.

”Look in my eyes…
Look in my eyes…”

Jiyool is crying. She has no idea why she’s crying, but she can feel something is happening between her parents. Seeing her mama topless is nothing new, but she too notices the curve of his belly and she is old enough to remember what it looked like with Changmin.


Her mama is a miracle.

Yunho looks.

He sees.

And he wants to believe.

He knows his wife does.

He can see it in his eyes.

He can see it as clear as day.

But that fear is threatening to strangle him.

Jaejoong straightens, walking slowly down the steps of the stage.

The spotlight stays on him, the cameras, of the rather elaborate production, show the audience exactly what is happening as he comes up to his family.

He never stops begging.

”Let me show you what you’re missing…
I’m your…I’m your…

He is nearing the final stanza of the song, and he throws his head back, pouring everything he has into the words as he reaches out a hand to cup his frozen husband’s cheek.

He feels the wetness as his thumb grazes a cheekbone, and it hurts.

For Yunho to cry in public.

It hurts.

He steps closer, between his husband’s knees as he tilts the man’s face up to him as he quietens, gazing at the haunted eyes filled with fear and a dim light of hope behind them.

Jaejoong latches onto the hope, smiling through his own tears as he whispers the final lines when his husband breaks free from his hold, leaning down to kiss the very gentle swell of his belly and the babies sleeping quietly behind them.

”I’m your…I’m your…


“I want my mama!”

Hero sighs as he bodily hoists the gangly eight year old head fast into the car. “Your mama has to talk to your daddy.”

“Why can’t they talk at home?”

“Because they need to be alone.”


Hero grits his teeth as he forcibly buckles the irritating child into his seat and then slams the door shut.

How do they manage with five children? Soon to be seven? Good god, he wouldn’t exchange places with Jung Jaejoong for the world.

He rounds the car to get into the driver’s seat but he can hear Minnie’s muffled squawking anyway.

And he thanks god that his own Jongdae, six months older than Jung Changmin, is much more reserved.

He opens his door only to be greeted with more squawking.

“You’re not my mama! Stop pretending to be my mama!”

“Enough, Changmin!” Jiyool’s voice cracks out like a whip from the passenger seat in front. Changmin’s theatrics are one of a kind, and she is not about to let him shame their parents by continuing to carry on like a spoiled child.

“But, Yoolie.”

She whirls around to stare her brother down.

“I said, enough. Hero oppa is mama’s good friend and you are being unforgivably rude to him for taking the trouble to take us home. Apologise, right now.”

The steel of the Jungs runs true in Jiyool’s veins, and Changmin knows when he’s beaten.

“Sorry.” Changmin punctuates his apology with a swift kick to the back of his sister’s seat.

The twins in the back exchange looks. Yoochun reaching out to squeeze Changmin’s shoulder warningly. JJ is silent, eyes meeting her idol’s in the rearview mirror as she sits next to Changmin.

“When we get home, say it again, and this time, make sure you mean it.”

Changmin leans forward but Yoochun has a firm hold of him as the younger twin too leans forward, reaching round the seat to hug his upset brother.

“Calm down, Minnie. Mama and daddy will be home later.” Junsu whispers.

“Why did mama sing about one last hug and one last kiss? Is he going away?” the fear is evident in Changmin’s voice, and Jiyool closes her eyes, dropping her chin.

“The song is mine, Minnie-ah.” Hero finally speaks as he twists in his seat to look at the youngest Jung child. “Your mama borrowed the song from me. He is just singing how I wrote it. He’s not going anywhere, I promise. He just needs to talk to your daddy for a bit because they haven’t seen each other in two weeks.”

JJ nods, slipping a hand into her brother’s lap, she squeezes his thigh reassuringly. “You know how it is, Minnie. Whenever daddy returns from a long trip, Chaerin or Jessica or Krystal unnie come and stay and we’re not allowed to go into their room. Remember?”

Hero has to hide the smirk at the innocent words from the young girl.

“So why can’t they talk at home? Why do they have to go out?”

“Daddy was away for a very long time,” Yoochun speaks up. “Maybe they just needed to make sure we definitely don’t bother them. Remember the last time? You started hammering on their door after an hour and got mama very annoyed with you.”

“Oh…right.” Changmin wrinkles his nose and sighs loudly. “I guess it’s ok then. Maybe if he goes away again and I don’t knock, they’ll stay at home?”


Changmin twists in his seat to eye his twin brothers seriously. “If I forget and want to go knocking next time, please don’t let me.”

“We won’t.” Junsu promises.

“Just listen to me next time, alright?” Jiyool’s voice is tired from the front seat.

“I’m sorry, noona.”

Every other child lets out a gasp as Jiyool chuckles ruefully. “Why is it I know you mean your apology only when you call me noona? What about Hero oppa?”


Hero swallows his growl as he stares at the unrepentant child gazing steadily at him as if daring him to challenge the title.

“I’m sorry, ahjusshi.”

Hero grunts, begrudgingly acknowledging the apology from a child he remembers suckling from his mama, as he turns back to face forward, starting the car.

“Ready to go home?”

JJ answers for all her siblings, her voice brighter now.

“Yes, please. Home.”


Yunho enters the penthouse at the top of Jung Tower. Their home there is still a home of sorts, but used more as a daytime base than anything else. He cannot remember the last time they spent the night in the building, and he’s not about to start that day.

He just wants somewhere that can guarantee their privacy and this place is better than most.

The evening is warm, but there is still a chill in his bones he cannot seem to shake off and so he heads immediately to the balcony.

Jaejoong trails after him, watching his husband stripping slowly, the large tattoo across his upper back a mere shadow as twilight is upon them. He hasn’t bothered turning on the lights, knowing the LEDs in the jacuzzi will be enough light for now.

The short drive had been quiet.

Jaejoong only had enough time to tell Jiyool that Hero would be taking them home where Chaerin would be waiting with dinner and that they’ll be home later that night.

Yunho had grabbed him almost immediately, not even bothering to wait for the winners to be announced.

He is still wearing the stage outfit Hero had given him, and he sighs, shrugging off the jacket as he too heads towards the balcony.

The original jacuzzi has been replaced, but the memories are still there.

This is where they “married”.

This is where Yunho first tasted him.

This is where Jaejoong told Yunho about being pregnant with JJ.

He strips.

Yunho doesn’t turn to acknowledge him, and Jaejoong’s eyes remain fixed on the back of the man’s head as he toes off his boxers and climbs carefully into the tub.

The LED lights seem overly bright, winking from red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and then violet before rinsing and repeating.

As if reading his mind, Yunho reaches out to kill the lights.

They sit in silence, the only sound being the muted rumbling of the jets.

Jaejoong doesn’t know where to start.

He’d regretted his actions the second the piano started to play, but it’s too late.

Upset his husband or upset his children.

Jaejoong loves his husband dearly, but an adult can get over an upset better than a child can.

The young child psychologist is ever so pragmatic.

And so he remains.

Jaejoong sings his regret, and he sings his love.

A love that has withstood a lot.

Through the agony of almost dying…

And the even worst agony of wanting desperately to die just to get away from the pain of possibly losing his child.

He stood fast through Jiyool’s baby trauma, brushing away the vile residual memories she had, as he sought to heal her father.

The countless nights he sat up, holding Yunho as the man cried in his sleep, only to forget everything when he wakes.

Jaejoong never ever spoke of it.

Why remind him of the pain in his waking moments?

He simply encouraged his husband to continue seeking help, and as the years go by, the nightmares go too.

And Jaejoong carries it all in his heart. He carries the burden, unwilling to share it because he loves the man too much to hurt him by telling him of it.

“I’m sorry…”

The apology falls between them, eaten by the gentle sloshing sounds of the water between them.

It might as well be the Grand Canyon.

“What are you sorry for?”

Jaejoong wants to smile, his mouth tugs, but his heart hurts too much for it to go any further.

“I’m sorry for trying to force you to accept my pregnancy.”

Yunho closes his eyes, tilting his head back. He is sad to find that that his guess about his wife’s motives were true.

“Do you not trust me?” He questions quietly.

“I do!” Jaejoong cries, moving through the water swiftly, breaking through the chasm between them.

Forcing his way through it as he sits astride his husband and buries his face against his neck.

“I do trust you. I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry.”

Yunho’s heart aches as his wife starts to cry. Shuddering sobs shaking his slim form, already so very slight from chasing after five impossible children, he now has an added weight upon him.

He thumbs his chin, coaxing Jaejoong from his neck he bends his head to press a soft kiss to salty lips. Lips still murmuring apologies he shouldn’t have to utter.

Slowly, but surely, Jaejoong calms down under the gentle touch of his husband rubbing his back soothingly, his mouth unhurried over his lips and cheeks as he kisses away salty tears, whispering words of love and assurance.

Yunho finally pulls back as Jaejoong starts to respond, smiling in the growing darkness at his wife’s mewl of dismay.

“We need to talk, love. I need you to tell me something, and be honest with me.”

Jaejoong wants to correct the man, and point out that he is always honest with him, but he knows he cannot for it is a lie.

“Do I treat you like a child?”

Jaejoong chews on his bottom lip, giving the question careful consideration.

The silence lengthens.

Finally, Yunho breaks the silence, chuckling ruefully as he leans back, shifting to get a jet against his lower back as he rearranges his wife comfortably across his lap.

“If it takes you this long to answer, then I guess the answer is yes.”

“It’s a yes and a no actually.”


Jaejoong tilts his head, tracing a fingertip over a wet collarbone as he licks his lip to mimic the movement.

“Your tone earlier. The whole what are you sorry for? bit I definitely felt like you’re telling off one of our children. If JJ or Yoochun were here they’d tell you that you were pitch perfect.”

“It was an automatic reaction. I didn’t mean it that way.”

“I know you didn’t. I think my problem is that you’re the disciplinarian in the house and I’m the nurturer and so when I do something wrong, I feel like I ought to be spanked.”

Yunho’s mouth twitches, as do other body parts at his wife’s interesting choice of words.

“I felt that.”

“Ignore it.”

Jaejoong hums, leaning away slightly. He smiles when Yunho’s grip of his hips tighten, not allowing him to go far.

“So it’s not really that you treat me like a child, but rather I feel like one sometimes especially when I’ve done something wrong or naughty. You have to admit, it happens rather often.”

“More the latter than the former, love. Naughty ought to be your middle name. I know where Changmin gets his cheek from that’s for sure.”

“And I certainly know where Jiyool gets her autocratic behavior from,” Jaejoong counters.

“She’s mimicking you,” Yunho smiles as he feels a pinch in his side. “She has your come here or else tone down pat.”

“I need to voice it. You do it with a look.”

Yunho shrugs, accepting that fact. When grown men cower beneath his gaze, it stands to reason his children do too when that gaze is turned upon them.

However there is one person he cannot intimidate.

“It doesn’t work with you, love. Never has.”

Jaejoong nods solemnly as his finger drops lower, just about to circle a nipple when his hand is captured and placed flat against the centre of Yunho’s chest.

“I wouldn’t do that if you want to continue talking.”

“What were we talking about?” Jaejoong’s brow furrows as he tries to remember.

Yunho grins in the dim light. His wife’s forgetfulness when pregnant is actually extremely adorable. He jumps from topic to topic like a bird on a branch as a matter of fact, but when pregnant, he usually forgets to hop back to the original branch.

“About me treating you like a child.”

“Oh, right. No, you don’t. But yes, I let you.”

“So if I don’t treat you like a child, why did you think you had to force me to accept your pregnancy? I love you, Jaejoong. God knows sometimes I think I love you too much, but I would never make you do anything you don’t want. Ultimately, it’s your body. I have no say at all over this and I would never order you or tell you to do anything.”

“But…the twins.”

“The twins were a medical decision, love. Save you or save them, I would do the same again. I know this must be high risk. I will have the best doctors move into the fucking house if I have to, but I will never, ever, make you do anything against your will. It wouldn’t even occur to me. I’d be scared. Hell, I’m fucking terrified right now, but it’s early and I can get the best people on this with the snap of a finger. If the doctor says you have to be bedridden, you’re going to be bedridden though. My never making you do anything against your will stops short of doctor’s orders.”

“I don’t need to be bedridden,” Jaejoong rolls his eyes as he rolls his hips, smirking slightly when Yunho’s hand clench reflexively at his hips. “I’m pregnant, not an invalid. The doctor says I’m more than healthy and so are they.”

“How long have you known?” Yunho’s voice is quiet.

So quiet, Jaejoong almost misses it.

He sighs, dropping his chin as he pulls his hand free from Yunho’s relaxed grip to trace his collarbone once again.

“Two weeks. The day you left for Switzerland because I was throwing up everything, even water, and I thought I’d better get it checked out.”

“Is this why you’ve been avoiding talking to me?”


“Jaejoong…god what did I do to scare you this much?”

The anguish in Yunho’s voice cuts to Jaejoong’s very soul as his head lifts instantly, doe eyes fierce as he shakes his head at his husband. He cups his cheeks and leans forward, pressing their mouths together as he explains.

“Nothing. All you did was love me. And I was afraid that you’d love me more than you’d love our unborn children and this is all me. It’s not you, it’s me. My fear and assumptions. I should’ve talked to you, but I didn’t because I was almost certain you would choose me.”

“I would choose you, if there was a necessary choice to be made. But there isn’t a choice here, is there? There’s a high risk, yes, but it’s just a possibility. I don’t work on possibilities, I work on certainties. It’s been almost ten years since the twins and medicine has come a long way especially in relation to male pregnancies. The decision in that operating theatre almost a decade ago was if one had to die for the other to live. That is not the choice needed to be made here. Jaejoong, can you not tell the difference?”

Yunho’s voice is harsh, unable to comprehend how his wife had come to such an illogical conclusion.

“I really should have told you when I found out,” Jaejoong replies quietly. “You see sense when I saw none. Maybe I was being narcissistic. I believed my own press when the media tells me Jung Yunho loves his wife more than his empire.”

“Well, that’s the truth.”

“I guess all I could remember were the twins. It was in my dreams these past two weeks, lying helpless on that operating table as you told the doctors if they had to make a decision, to save me. All I could think of was how hopeless I felt, and that I didn’t know how I could survive knowing you chose me over them. I don’t know if we could have survived, Yunho, if they hadn’t. I had nightmares about being unable to even look at you, loathing you for allowing me to live when our babies died. That raw pain. I know that pain for I’ve felt it before when I thought I lost Minnie. I don’t think we would have survived…”

Yunho takes in a deep shaky breath, tugging his wife close as he tucks the man’s head under his chin. He tilts his head back to stare up at the evening sky, his heart thumping painfully in his chest.

“I was scared. Terrified. I love you so much, I can’t bear the thought of hating you. I just didn’t want it to even be a choice.” Jaejoong sniffles quietly as the truth flows out. “I asked for them. I wanted babies who look like Jiyool. Our young daughter is so strong, but I know it hurts inside sometimes when her siblings resemble each other somewhat with their bits of me, and her, having almost entirely your face with a bit of her mother, has nothing of me. I didn’t want to hate you for something I caused. This was all me and I was scared. I was selfish and when it actually happened I was scared it would cause me to lose you so I wanted to make sure it couldn’t happen.”

Yunho kisses the top of his wife’s head, having twelve years of experience in the man’s rambling, he understood that in its entirety. “Only you would be able to keep his cake and eat it too.”

“Did I do something bad?” Jaejoong whispers against Yunho’s throat, tears clogging his voice.

Yunho’s mouth goes dry as his wife nuzzles sadly against his jawline, his arms tightening around his neck as he tries to move closer.

He remembers three year old baby Joongie, upset and woeful in his arms, uttering the exact same thing.

His beautiful wife that he was fated to meet.

The beautiful boy he promised to protect.

Sometimes, Jaejoong needs protection from himself. The universe can be too much to play with when it gives you everything you want.

“It’s ok, baby,” Yunho nuzzles a cheek as Jaejoong draws back to blink at him, a teardrop clinging sadly to a long eyelash.

“Do you still want me even if I’m bad?”

“You’re never bad. A little flighty at times, puzzling at others, and naughty the rest of the time, yes. But never bad.”

“Why do I feel bad, then?”

“Guilty? Or maybe you just want to be punished.” Yunho teases, bopping his wife on the tip of his nose, causing the beauty to giggle tearily.

“Do you know what we’re having?”

“Isn’t it too early to be able to tell the sex? How far along are you?”

“14 weeks.”

Yunho drops his hand between their bellies, caressing the hard yet gentle swell of his wife’s body. “You seem a lot bigger for that short a time.”


Yunho stares at Jaejoong, who stares right back.

“Oh dear god…I think I felt half my head go white.”

“I think Changmin got his theatrics from you.”

“No, he’s your son. Through and through. The only part of that boy that he got from me is his appetite.”

“God help his spouse.”

Yunho is about to reply when what Jaejoong said, registers.

“Our son is eight!”

Jaejoong starts laughing. He laughs so hard he topples off Yunho’s lap and splashes into the frothy water.

Yunho’s own mermaid, slippery and sliding out of his reach as his sunshiny giggles echo in the large balcony.

His miracle.

AN: I’ve been resisting this muse since Osaka. That’s how long this muse has been jumping around and I finally gave in… I miss them so much I had to stop my own tears. How does a person miss a fictional pairing based on real life people in a totally AU setting? IDEK…but god, I miss my husband right now. I hate being sick because time moves so fucking slowly.

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Hi! I haven't read Tattooist myself. I feel like I should but something is stopping me and IDK what it is OTL I'm glad you liked it! I definitely enjoyed writing it heh.

And thank you for coming out of lurk!

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