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All skin and no shame

...innocence is just an illusion...

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That's me trying to squeeze out a fic :-/ Bet you Changminnie would be much cuter while pooping :-/

Ok... I think i'm going to have to finally face this and accept the fact that I have a serious writer's block from hell. I have almost 5,000 words of ONIB written AND I DON'T LIKE IT AT ALL.

At all.

I want to cry ;; IDK what's up. Whether it's the meds, or the holiday, or all the work i'm catching up on. It's just a whole mess of several things and ugh! This is what happens when I re-read stuff that i'm currently writing. I second guess myself and hate everything.

So I gave up and tried my hand at something else.

I'm drawing a blank for everything. Why can't my fics write themselves!?!??!?!!?!?!?!

And to make things worse, I decided, hey why not read Wishing On A Star to try and dislodge my writer's block.

Bad idea.

Bad, bad, bad, idea.

So bad that it all but killed me. Why did I write that? More importantly, HOW did I write that? The 5,000 words of ONIB I wrote doesn't even look remotely like WOAS. It's like two separate people wrote the two fics. I think i'm having a crisis.

Tempted to just post the fucking train wreck and maybe write something else in it's place later. IDK... So irritated right now. The main problem with ONIB is that it was supposed to be SHORT. I know how it ends. I know what the ending scenes are like. It's just GETTING THERE is gonna take awhile thanks to the meandering route my muses decided to take it on. I don't know whether to blame Changmin or Jaejoong. I kinda hate them both right now.

Can you feel my irritation?

I wanna flip everything, watch Grey's Anatomy and sulk for the rest of the day.

Really tempted to go on hiatus. Though really, considering how much I used to write, I think most of you probably think i'm practically on hiatus already.



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O.o onib update?

OK no they wasnt what i took from the post. I was just (trying) to be funny.

Don't pull out your hair. Vent rant scream out your frustrations as much as you like, come back when you ready and feeling better or the muse is under control again.

Hwaiting :)

The "soul-fighters" are causing trouble!?! You need to smack them both, well maybe two or three times in Changmin's case:) It takes a good while to recover from holidays, give yourself a well-deserved rest. Based on some of your past author notes, I would guess that a train wreck to you would be oohs and ahhs to us!

Take your time. I can wait for your muses cyz they are brilliant and awesome. LoL


Aww, don't worry about it! You'll probably feel better in a day or two.<3

:( Take time to get caught up on what you need to w/out stressing over your muses. It'll come when it does and in the meantime I think most of us are content to reread your past works. Oh yeah and what you are struggling over would most likely still be considered a nice treat to the rest of us. ;)
P.S. Psst...I was in the middle of rereading the Tattooist yet again when this came across my feed.

Yeah I miss you so much. There was a time when almost my every morning used to start with your update. So nowadays its kinda looks empty. But I know what u r going through. The frustration and all. I am no writer. But I went through something like that while writing my dissertation. I knew the work that I did, I knew the results, their explanation but yet it almost killed me.

So yeah a break. And mayb u shouldd stop reading Wat u wrote. Just post them. Am sure that will b good too. U r amazing writer. Am sure u know that by now.

And just scold jaemin for messing up every time

please take your time , fighting authornim :)

Edited at 2014-02-20 07:13 am (UTC)

Well.. Uhmm.. No one can push you or tell you to stop or keep on writing Nicki.. I mean, you are the person who will not take people's advice easily LOL.. So if you feel your muse not being kind of you.. Just let you go on hiatus.. Although like you said yes I'm thinking you're on hiatus rn.. Hahahahaa

About update ONIB, how about starts from the scratch? Just an advice and I know you will totally ignores it OTL

Hey! Stop, girl! Just stop.

First, I feel your mind is completely disorganized right now. Am I right?
So, you need to take some time and write on a paper your priorities. Judge them well, make the necessary changes (if necessary) and then judge again... and so on until your mind is ok with your list.
At this point, your mind is more relaxed and you can think properly.
You can feel now that thoughts and ideas are flying around without your mind being stuffed with unnecessary things.
From there, you just have to pick up the most interesting/nice/catchy one and work on.
Maybe the first exercise of this kind will be a little difficult but, after you make it several times, it will become a usual procedure against mind!blocking. And it could be good also against writer's block.

About Jaejoong and Changmin... Don't hate them. Love them and they will come back, nice and all, to your muses. As a writer, you have to love your characters, not to hate them.

So, relax and try again. We're waiting patiently.
<3 <3 <3

Edited at 2014-02-20 09:03 am (UTC)

Let it goooo ..........:)) don't feel stressed, just let it go

I don't know what to write either

Maybe I should start a Writers Anonymous for those moments when you have no idea what to write and need to vent lol!

Honey, I have the feeling what you consider crap we will still call gold.

Just relax. As you've said before, you write for your own enjoyment. You just also happen to be generous enough to share it with the rest of the world. If writing is causing stress, then by all means step back and take a deep breath. When you are ready to return I'm sure it will be a post that is worth the wait. It always is.

I know i'm not in position to give you any advice, considering that i don't finish writte my fic yet, but i hope this can be helpfull.
I started to read fanfic in the beging of 2013, and i must admitt that's what pretty much help me to become a TVXQ fan.
I always thought 'i hope someday i can writte somefic like the way those people do'. And some online friend suggest me your journal. After i started to follow it i keep seeing how you always say how you basically just type the words and the caracters dictate the story. Inspire by it i try to started to writte and i have a writter's block, but for me is really hard because i know how i wanna the story ends (i can see the scene even imagine they speaking it) and all the timeline and so i coudn't writte the rest. Here what i try: i just type it. Cause i couldn't stop thinking abut the end i just writte so i could put this out of my head.
It help me a lot.
I could suggest you to reread what you writte (wich really help me a lot) but i'm afraid that you would get mad and just decide delete everything lol.
Another thing that help me is that i have someone who read my stories so i just ask her what she thinks is going to happen almost always we're thinking differentily and by the time she started to tell me her thought starting popping in my mind how i really think it sould be.
I don't know if this can help you but i hope your find your ways to deal with this.

author-nim~~ please calm down.. :) take your time, and I'll waiting patiently.. ^^

If you want to lay down and watch Grey's Anatomy then just do it :) Maybe you will relax and find your internal peace. And if not, then maybe some silly videos of dumb DBSK from YB will help?

I can imagine you doing that last gif you put.

WOAS is one of best fics you've ever written. Like...WOW.

and I can feel you when you say "it's like two separate people wrote the two fics". Maybe because you were so inspired back then. haha.

So..I guess you just write when you feel like it or have random ideas and not force yourself. Like what you did to those drabbles you typed in your phone :)


Unnie darling. Don't stress yourself. You can find other methods to get your muse and inspiration. I watched things unrelated to Yunjae but in the kpop genre. Like funny kpop videos and ideas come to me sometimes. Or watching Yunho's vampire version of Honey funny bunny vid.

Idk what really helps you. They're just my ideas. Bit don't give up yet. We're not judging you, we're PATIENTLY waiting cuz we understand that speedbumo on the road. Every writer finds them at certain point and speed through it later. Fighting!!!

They'll be none of that

Don't beat yourself up. You've gotta be pleased with what you put out. Considering you posted while you were on vacation, you probably need a rest. I voted for ONIB but I'm not foaming at the mouth or anything. Please take your time, breathe woman. We're here, ready for anything...we think. Good luck.

P.S. Do NOT start something new! Wait, um yeah.

Sorry for the late reply. Just wanna drop in to give you some hugssssssssssssss

I love all your stories, but I totally love your thought-jots. They make me laugh. I know that right now these thoughts and muses are killing you, but they are amusing me to no end. Hahahahaha You are such a hoot. :-). Tour brighten up my day.

Just to be clear though. I am not laughing at you or your situation. I don't write, but I wish I did. I imagine it is extremely frustrating when you are having writers block. I do ceramics. What other people and friends see as amazing, I see many flaws. It's the nature of artist is any genre to be very critical of oneself.

Edited at 2014-02-25 07:52 am (UTC)

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